Disclaimer: I do not own Castle
She was on the ground before she had a chance to comprehend what had actually happened. Her gun was gone and a burning pain was travelling from the centre of her chest where he had struck her, through her left side, exactly where her incision sight scar was been carved into her. He had hit her hard sending her crashing onto the steps behind her, but she was pushing herself up before she knew it, she was acting on instinct pushing herself to her feet and coming face to face with her own service piece.
For a moment she froze, her breath getting stuck in her lungs as her heart began to pound against her tightening chest. Wanting nothing more than to reach for her scar as a way to cover up the pain and bring a sense of calm back to herself, but she couldn't, there was a gun being pointed at her and she knew she needed to remain calm, she couldn't let her PTSD take over once again.
She relaxed her hands, lowering them to her sides in an attempt not to show any fear or pain. She locked her eyes with his keeping up her professionalism, she was a cop and she could do this. She looked into Detective Smith. She knew he had heard about her shooting, she could see it in his eyes, the pity and slight regret of what he was doing. His words were lost on her as she tried to calm herself, he was talking to them and holding the gun to her but all she could feel was the wet grass beneath her body and Castle hovering above her telling her he loved her. He loved her, and he was begging her to stay with him. Another jolt of pain shot through her chest, forcing her to feel the bullets impact again and again, she couldn't panic now, she couldn't let this guy win, she was stronger than him and this time she wasn't alone in a cemetery with a sniper watching her every move. This time she had back up, she had Castle by her side and this time she would win.
"On your knees" Smith demanded, and from the corner of Kate's eye she watched Castle begin to comply.
"Don't worry Castle he's not going to shoot us" she replied, her voice calm and strong, "that won't fit the legend" she reminded him.
Even the sight of the knife didn't seem to faze her as much as she would have thought, she was calm and in control of the situation.
It was over before Smith had a chance to realise that he had been set up, that they had filmed his whole confession and his life of hiding from the law had finally caught up with him.
She was confident heading back to the precinct, they had found their guy and the case was closed. So why when she sat down at her desk did she begin to feel the burning pain in her side that only came from the slicing of a surgical scar?
Looking around the precinct it was quiet. Everyone had gone home for the night and Castle had disappeared off somewhere, leaving her alone with just the pain in her chest. She instinctively pressed her hand to her chest where her bullet scar rested. Somehow applying pressure to it calmed her. It reminded her that she was alive, a silent reminder of what she had faced and overcome. Adjusting her seating a little she ran a hand across her side where her surgical scar lay. The scar that had saved her life, but pulled every time she tried to push herself too far.
"You ok?" Castle asked.
She looked up to find Castle standing by her desk, she had no idea how long he had been stood there or how much he had seen, but the worry in his eyes told her it was long enough.
"Yeah, fine" she lied.
"Surgery hurting?"
"Yeah" she sighed, "when Smith knocked me down, he hit me square in the chest."
"Must have hurt?" Castle asked, taking up his usual seat next to her.
"It will be fine in a few hours" she shrugged, "nothing a hot bath and a good night's sleep won't fix"
"Kate, you don't need to pretend everything is ok. I saw your face, you were scared." Castle said softly, "like that time a few week ago when…"
"Castle I'm fine" she snapped, refusing to be reminded of how only a few week ago she nearly got them both killed. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired. I'll be fine, you need to get home it's late. I'll see you tomorrow"
Castle nodded, accepting that now wasn't the time to talk about what happened, it wasn't the time to bring up how much he loved her and only wanted her to be safe. No, now it was time to let her heal, to let her deal with things in her own way, and when she was ready he would be there. He would always be there for her.
Back at her apartment, Kate made her way to each window, making sure it was locked and the shades were fully closed. She then double locked the front door and headed to her bedroom. She was about to put her gun away, about to unload it and make sure the safety was on, but she couldn't. She didn't want to be left vulnerable in case anything happened. Instead she placed the loaded gun in her bedside table, feeling safer in the knowledge that she could defend herself if they came back for her. When they came back to finish the job.
She pulled her hot water bottle over her chest, feeling the warmth radiate through her body and soothing the ache that the evening had left her with. She hated that Castle had noticed her weakness. Although she shouldn't be surprised, he seemed to notice everything these days. She wished she had let him help her, he could he holding her now, telling her she didn't need to keep her gun in her bedside table because he would be there to protect her. She wouldn't need the hot water bottle because his warm hands would be wrapped around her, taking away all of her pain.
She wanted to tell him, wanted him to know how much she cared for him. He saved her life, yet for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to admit that she had feelings for him.
She slipped to sleep imagining that he was there with her, to keep her safe against the people out there that still wanted her dead. He would be by her side, they were partners. Always.
A one shot based on the scene from 4x06 Demons where Kate is knocked down and her gun is taken from her.
See the original Gif here: post/122749931176/the-demons-within-she-was-on-the-ground-before-she
Thanks for reading, let me know your thoughts.