Chibs let out a heavy breath at Nina's words. Yes she's yours. Sophie was his child; his little girl. He took a few deep breaths his head feeling light and fuzzy. He was in a state of shock. Yes Gabriella had told him the truth about Sophie's paternity, but hearing the words from Nina's lips made it feel real.
He was unable to hold back his resentment allowing a bit of it to slip from his lips. "It's been five years...Ya didn't think that this was somethin I needed to know bout?"
"I had my reasons." Nina blurted out knowing that that excuse was a weak one at best. She crossed her arms over her waist making a mental note to murder her aunt for this.
Chibs narrowed his eyes at her the statement sending a wave of rage straight through him. He shook his head unable to stop himself from raising his voice. "Ya had yer reasons? That's a fuckin poor excuse and ya know it."
"If you're going to show up at my apartment and talk like that to me then you can leave right now. I didn't think you were the type to step up and be a man. You ran off like a child. You didn't even bother to wake me up before you left. You just disappeared." Nina remarked her own temper getting the better of her.
Chibs let out a huff hating to admit that she had a point there. He had been childish for running off the morning after.
He knew that he should have been a man; he should have woken Nina that morning and told her why he couldn't stay.
He knew deep down inside though that if he'd woken her he would have never left that bed. She would have looked up at him with those magnificent eyes of hers and he would have been hers.
She deserved more than him. He would have destroyed her in the end.
He held back this explanation his anger still having a hold over him. "Aye I fucked up there. That's not any excuse fer keepin this from me though. She's my daughter Nina...Christ ya had yer reasons fer what?...runnin off, hidin out in Miami? Ya didn't even try to tell me? Ya never gave me a damn chance."
Nina glared at him unable to stop herself from stepping forward. He was stunned as she reached out poking him in the chest her words harsh. "I tried...okay I tried you asshole. I showed up at TM Auto with the pregnancy test in hand...I sat in that parking lot in my roommate's truck and I watched you...I just sat there and tried to work up the nerve to approach you...You had your hands busy though."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Chibs replied his heart aching at the amount of pain and rage in Nina's voice. Christ he really had hurt her. He'd left and he'd still managed to mess up.
"You had some fulana hanging all over you...like I said you had your hands full. You looked like you didn't have a care in the world...You moved on. So I moved on too." Nina explained finally pulling her hand back choosing to cross her arms over her waist once again.
Chibs let out a heavy sigh his brain quickly registering the unfamiliar word. She had seen him with a croweater.
He swallowed the huge lump developing in the base of his throat as he struggled to collect his thoughts. He wanted to tell her the truth; that he hadn't moved on.
He'd tried to forget Nina; tried to forget their night together. But every single time it rained his mind wondered back to Estrella's Tavern, back to her.
He held back these words fearing that this revelation would only make her angry and make this entire situation more complicated than it already was.
He spoke his voice tight. "Ya couldn't call me...or send me a letter at the very least. Sophie's my daughter...I had the righ to know. Ya were goin to jus hide it from me forever Nina."
Nina shook her head the guilt stirring up in her gut. She knew he was right. She let out a heavy sigh trying to hide the venom in her voice but failing. "I was scared...okay. I was twenty three years old for God's sake. I still had a shit ton of growing up to do. I didn't exactly have the parents of the year. My mother got knocked up by some guy who took off the second he heard she was pregnant. I didn't want to turn into my mother. I knew if I stayed here...I knew I was repeating the cycle, so I did the only thing I could...I got away from Charming. I started a new life."
"I didn't have the best da either lass, but we aren't our parents. I woulda been there...I woulda been there fer both of ya. All ya had to do was tell me." Chibs blurted out his voice softening a tiny bit.
There was something about Nina's statement that had struck him. It was the way she'd spoken about her parent's failures. It made him think of his father; the drunk who'd run off and left his ma in a crappy housing estate with two young children to care for.
He knew how it was to fear turning into your parents. He'd fought demons from his childhood all his life. He understood how it was to try to escape your demons.
Nina widened her eyes a little shocked by the softness in his voice. She'd expected rage not sympathy.
She took a deep breath remembering the same thing she'd been repeating to herself since her conversation with Gabriella the day before. Do what's best for Sophie.
"Hindsight is twenty twenty." Nina remarked as she dropped her arms to her side doing her best to let her guard down for a moment.
She spoke again not giving Chibs the chance to respond to her hindsight statement. "I know I screwed up...I did a lot of things wrong. I'm not the only guilty one here though. You weren't exactly a saint."
Chibs frowned wanting to argue with her. He knew she was right though; she hadn't been the only one who'd made mistakes.
He took a deep breath deciding to just dive right in with his request. "I don't wanta be like my da lass...I have another daughter..."
"Kerrianne?" Nina interrupted him her mind going back to the tattoo on his chest.
It made sense now; that tattoo. Who else but a parent would tattoo their child's name so close to their heart?
"Aye...how'd ya know that?" Chibs replied a little shocked by her burst of knowledge. He'd never told her about his past. How'd she guess his Kerrianne's name?
Nina gave him a weak smile most of the fight having escaped her. She couldn't deny the rush of curiosity this bit of information gave her. She wanted to know more about this half sister of Sophie's. "I saw the tattoo that night...I thought it was some past lover of yours. How old is this daughter of yours?"
Chibs nodded his head in understanding before he took another deep breath speaking. "She's fifteen. She lives back in Ireland with her ma...it's a long story."
He sighed knowing that he should tell her the entire story of his past of Fiona and Kerrianne and Jimmy O'.
He was afraid that she would pull away from him though. That she would be so scared that she would deny him Sophie.
The story would have to wait for another day.
He had the feeling that blurting out his marital status and the complications surrounding it would only earn him a slap from Nina followed by a string of insults.
Nina nodded her head spotting the flash of pain in his eyes at the mention of his daughter and Ireland. She was tempted to push him for more.
She couldn't deny that she felt a twinge of sympathy at the look in his eyes though. She sighed the more compassionate side of her personality winning over any of her curiosity.
She made the uneasy decision to just keep her mouth shut for now. She would force him to tell her more later.
"I wanta be in Sophie's life Nina. I wanta get to know her...We don't have to tell her I'm her da...not yet, not till ya think she's ready to hear it. I know she's young. I know jus droppin in and tellin her I'm her da isn't fair to her. I know it'll be too confusin to her. I'm willin to be jus a friend fer now though. I'm not asking fer much lass. I just want the chance to know my child, to be there fer her the way a da should be. I wanta be there...to help ya with her. Please...It's the least ya can do fer me. Ya've had five years with her Nina. I want my time too." Chibs blurted out unable to stop himself from pleading with her.
He could remember his conversation with Jax; the words Jax had left him with. Be a dad to her. Give Sophie your best.
Nina wanted to refuse. She wanted to tell him no.
She had a feeling though that telling him no would do no good for anyone. Chibs seemed to be genuine in his words.
Nina had no doubt in her mind that Chibs would fight her if she tried to push him away from Sophie. He would fight tooth and nail for the child.
Nina knew that Sophie didn't need any tension between them. Fighting would only do harm to the little girl. It would confuse her.
She knew Chibs was right. He deserved an opportunity. She owed him a chance.
Nina nodded her head her heart beginning to pound at the realization of what she was about to agree to. "Okay. You're right. I owe you the opportunity to be there. We'll hold off on telling her you're her dad...she's young. She wouldn't understand it just yet. I'll just tell her you're an old friend. We can meet up sometime later this week and discuss whatever it is we need to talk about...clear the air."
She took a deep breath pausing for a moment before she managed to speak up again. "She's my world Chibs...don't fuck up okay...If you're offering to be there then I have to know you mean it. I have to know that you'll be there for her forever. She deserves a good father. I want her to have better than I had."
"Aye I want her to have better than I had too. I swear to God that I'll be there. I want to be what she deserves." Chibs agreed unable to hold back the feeling of relief at Nina's corporation.
She was going to let him do this. He'd not expected her to give him a chance. He'd expected her to fight him.
Her heart continued to beat rapidly in her chest as she spoke up. "You can come over tomorrow afternoon...I can take off work early. Around three. I'll let you talk to her...and spend a little time with her. Sort of a trail meeting of sorts."
Chibs felt his stomach roll at this. Tomorrow, he would be meeting his daughter for the first time tomorrow.
He only prayed that Sophie accepted him.
It would kill him if she feared the scars on his cheeks or his appearance.
He wanted his little girl to love him so badly.
Nina shifted a bit her arms coming up to fuss with her hair as she tried to hide her anxieties.
She prayed she was making the right choice. She wanted to give Sophie the best.
She just hoped that she wasn't setting her daughter up for disappointment.
Nina was in a rotten mood all morning the next day. She had somehow managed to hold back her irritation from Sophie's view.
Nina had left the little girl with one of the barmaids upstairs in the apartment while she worked. The barmaid was named Norah. She was a college student who needed a little extra cash. She was willing to babysit on her day off to earn this cash.
It would only be temporary Nina decided; just for the summer. Once Sophie started school she would figure something out; maybe some sort of hobby like girl scouts or maybe a after school program of some sort.
Nina didn't let her bad mood out until she got downstairs to work. She was unable to stop herself from slamming the bottles of liquor onto the shelf behind the bar. It was a miricle she hadn't broken anything yet.
Gabriella widened her eyes as she entered the bar just in time to see Nina snapping at one of the busboys.
Nina glared up at the lanky busboy her eyes holding a dangerous tone to them. "You're a busboy that means you pick up everything on the tables. Everything includes peanuts and chip crumbles. Do you have any idea how many crumbs I swept up when I got here this morning. I don't tolerate laziness."
Gabriella cringed guessing that Chibs must have paid a visit recently. She was just thankful that there were no customers to witness Nina tearing the poor busboy a new one.
Gabriella quickly stepped forward placing a hand on the busboy's arm as she intervened. "Go clean up in the back. There's still some trash left over from last night."
She gave the busboy an apologetic look as he scampered away thankful to have been rescued from hurricane Nina.
Nina turned her angry gaze to her aunt not wasting any time to speak up. "You talked to him"
"It's not like you were going to do it niña. I had to step in." Gabriella insisted holding her gaze full of disapproval at Nina's temper tantrum.
Nina let out a heavy huff shaking her head as she spoke. "You had no right tia. It's my life not yours."
Gabriella shook her head her lips pressing together in a scowl. "It's not just your life. It's Sophie's life too. She deserves to know her father. You don't remember how hard it was on you when you were her age. Once you started school you would come home crying to me every father's day. You would get so heartbroken that you didn't have a papi to make a father's day gift for. I don't want that for Sophie. I know you don't either."
"That's not your place to decide tia! She's my daughter. I don't need you stepping in and pulling shit like that. You should have come to me first. So what if my childhood had a few bumps? I can stop Sophie's from having those same experiences." Nina replied clinching her fists so tightly as she rose her voice.
"And done what you're like a brick wall Nina. I talk and you don't hear a word. It's pointless to come to you if you're just going to ignore every word I say." Gabriella argued the scowl not leaving her face.
Nina shook her head ignoring the voice in the back of her head that told her her aunt was right. She spoke pointing her finger at Gabriella. "I don't care. You should have never gone behind my back like that. It wasn't your fucking right and you knew it."
"Don't speak that way to me Nina. You might be a grown woman but I'm still your aunt. You don't stand here in my bar and talk that way to me." Gabriella spat back having the same temperament as her niece.
Nina shook her head exasperation hitting her far too early in the day. "Fine! Stay out of my life. Sophie is my child. Not yours."
And with that Nina stormed off grabbing her purse off the bar and leaving the bar. She went straight to her Ford Focus unlocking the door and climbing in.
The tears didn't come until she shoved her key into the ignition.
She hadn't meant to lose her temper so easily. Gabriella had gone behind her back though and it had hurt.
She had always trusted her tia. Gabriella was the one person in the world she'd always trusted with her secrets. She felt betrayed.
Nina let out a shaky sigh knowing that she had to get away from everything. She needed to take a drive; and calm her rage.
Gabriella shook her head her body sinking down into a nearby chair. The fight had taken a lot out of her already weak state.
She spoke up staring off towards the window as Nina pulled her car out of the parking lot. "Stubborn girl. I only did it because I love you. You'll understand one day."
Chibs felt his stomach ache and roll as he stepped into the local general store. Charming General was the one store in town where you could find anything you wanted for a cheaper price than the grocery store.
It was the only general store in town and was in one of the oldest buildings in town; an old brick storefront that looked as though it had seen better days.
He pushed his grocery cart a few items already having been tossed into it; frozen tv dinners, toilet paper, deodorant, potato chips, a case of beer, shampoo, and soap.
He'd always hated shopping just like most men. He knew though that his tiny apartment held very little of what he needed to survive.
Chibs had purchased the apartment just a month earlier. He had lived in the clubhouse in his little dorm up until that point.
Lately he'd felt as though the clubhouse just wouldn't cut it anymore. He wanted a place away from all the chaos of SAMCRO; a place to call all his own.
The apartment wasn't much; just one bedroom, one bath, a pathetically tiny kitchenette, and a living room.
It was his though. The complex was tiny and everyone kept to themselves. The parking lot was close enough to the building where Chibs could always find a place to park his motorcycle safely right where he could see it if he peeked out the window in his living room.
He found himself wandering around the general store aimlessly his mind so occupied with what was to happen this afternoon.
He couldn't remember if he had ever been this nervous before in his entire life. What if Sophie hated him? What if she was afraid of him? What if she didn't want him?
Chibs knew his heart would shatter if Sophie rejected him.
It was so strange thinking about how much the child meant to him. He loved the little girl. There was no denying it.
Sophie was his child and that was enough to make him adore her.
Chibs wanted the little girl to love him. He wished that he could just tell her the truth; that he was her father.
He knew it wouldn't be appropriate to just drop the truth on Sophie like that though. She was only five years old.
That information was just too much for a child that age.
He only hoped that the truth would come out quickly. He wanted so badly to hear the girl call him dad.
He was so frightened knowing that he was about to bring Sophie into his world though. His world wasn't a safe one.
Chibs wanted so badly to protect Sophie. He wanted to be a good dad to her.
He couldn't just be a normal dad who worked a nine to five job and coached kids soccer on the weekends.
He was a son. It was an unconventional life; a life that was often deadly.
Chibs just didn't want to bring any danger upon Sophie. He knew deep down inside that it wouldn't just be Sophie, Nina would be involved too.
This realization made his stomach roll a little harder.
He couldn't deny that his feelings for the woman confused him.
Nina still had such a strange hold over him. He was still so attracted to her, even with all the ill will he had about their past.
It was all just so complicated.
He couldn't help but to think of what would have happened if she had actually come to him that day at TM; if she had told him the truth then.
Chibs liked to think that they could have been together; that they could have gotten through the pregnancy and stuck with one another.
He would be lying if he tried to deny that he didn't allow his mind to drift to what they could have had.
He liked to imagine that they would have bought a little house with a big backyard. He liked to think that they would have decorated Sophie's nursery together. That they would have gotten a dog. That they would have been a family despite his less than conventional life. He imagined all the memories they would have created together.
He pictured them celebrating Christmases in that little house together just the three of them. He pictured them having dinner every night around a little table Nina smiling at him adoringly as Sophie and he chatted. He pictured Sophie curling up in bed with Nina and he when it thundered and lightninged outside and them telling her little stories to ease her fears. He pictured holding the little girl reading to her every night before she went to bed.
He imagined Nina and he making love at night holding one another kissing and exchanging sweet little words. He imagined himself holding Nina at night as they slept. He imagined her peppering kisses to his cheeks not fearing the scars that Jimmy O' had left.
He liked to think that he would have eventually found a way to divorce Fiona. That Nina and he could have maybe gotten married in a little white wedding with Sophie as their flower girl.
He pictured Kerrianne coming to the states to visit and Nina and she being two peas in a pod shopping together and getting their nails done and doing all the girly things Kerrianne loved.
He imagined introducing Nina and Sophie to all of SAMCRO and the guys adoring his family.
Chibs let out a sigh wishing so badly that he'd had the chance at that life.
He ignored the little voice in the back of his head that piped up telling him that he still had a chance to capture that life.
He tried to tell himself that he was being foolish to even imagine that someone like him could ever have that life.
Men like him didn't have happy lives. It wasn't possible not when danger lurked around ever corner.
Chibs found himself turning his cart down an aisle he hadn't visited since Abel's birth; The Childrens Aisle.
He let his eyes scan the variety of toys, coloring books, and books.
Chibs knew he had to get a gift for Sophie. He hoped that maybe a little toy would soften the awkward first meeting.
He only hoped that Nina didn't think that he was trying to buy the girl's love.
Chibs suddenly realized that he had no idea what Sophie even liked. All he knew was that she seemed to really like pink.
He'd missed the pink phase with Kerrianne. His Kerrianne had been ripped from him as a toddler. The only thing he remembered about shopping for her was that she liked Disney; especially Peter Pan.
He let out a huff when he didn't see even a hint of Peter Pan anywhere.
He pushed his cart over to the barbie section knowing that the dolls were a safe bet. Didn't most little girls like Barbie? He didn't know.
He let out a frustrated sigh as he stared at the line of Barbie dolls irritated to discover that they were all pale blue eyed dolls with blonde hair. He didn't want to give Sophie a doll that didn't look a thing like her.
Wouldn't Sophie want a doll that looked just like her?
Chibs quickly became overwhelmed with the selections; dozens of different dolls, playdough, my little pony figurines, hello kitty themed objects, a ton of Disney princess paraphernalia, legos, jigsaw puzzles, board games, and little hotwheel cars.
He almost jumped out of his skin as a hesitant voice sounded beside him. "Can I help you sir."
He turned to sound at an apprehensive looking sales girl who looked as though she'd rather be anywhere right now than talking to a biker in a toy aisle.
The young woman was chewing at her gum loudly staring at him with a raised eyebrow.
Chibs cringed unable to stop himself from thinking that the salesgirl thought he was some kind of creep who was into kids toys or worse kids. The thought made bile rise up in his throat.
"I'm lookin fer a present fer my daughter. She's five." Chibs blurted out almost defensively.
The salesgirl let out a huff as she popped her gum. "What does she like?"
Chibs held back the desire to just blurt out I don't know he knew that would be a statement that he didn't want to have to explain.
"Pink." He remarked deciding that seemed like a safe answer.
The salesgirl rolled her eyes popping her gum once again. "Barbie dolls are right there."
Chibs nodded his head staring to the line of dolls. "Do ya have one that isn't blonde...one with tan skin and dark eyes and hair."
"I can check in the back." The salesgirl replied rolling her eyes again apparently wanting to do anything other than look in the back for a non Caucasian Barbie.
Chibs shook his head almost tempted to just give up. He stared towards the end of the aisle ready to make his escape.
He finally spotted the perfect gift. "I think I found what I was lookin fer."
He just hoped that Sophie thought that it was the perfect gift as well.
Sophie sat on a wooden chair beside the round dining room table her legs kicking as Nina attempted to work a brush through the girl's hair. Nina cringed as Sophie whined. "Sorry baby. You have momma's hair."
"Are you almost done?" Sophie huffed as Nina pulled at her hair more.
"Almost baby. We want it to look nice right?" Nina replied as she placed a purple glittery headband into the girl's hair.
Naptime always seemed to mess the child's already difficult curls. Nina couldn't help but to wish that Sophie had inherited Chibs' smoother locks.
She felt her stomach roll at the thought of Chibs. He would be here in less than an hour.
Nina hoped that Sophie would like him.
The girl was particular. Sophie hadn't liked any of the men her mother had gone out with. And if Sophie didn't like them then Nina didn't date them.
Nina knew that Sophie had to find a way to like Chibs though. He was her father.
Nina was still shaky from her argument with Gabriella earlier. The long car ride she'd taken had done little to calm her nerves.
She was so full of doubts; frightened that she wasn't making the right decisions for Sophie.
Nina knew that Gabriella had a point. Sophie deserved to know her father.
Nina could remember how hard it was growing up not knowing anything about her father. It was even more difficult knowing that she had his last name.
She sighed realizing that she'd given Sophie the same fate giving her the last name Telford.
She continued to work a brush through Sophie's hair as she came to a quick decision; Sophie would know all there was to know about Chibs.
Sophie would never look at her last name with a feeling of anger or shame. She would see the name Telford as a prideful thing.
She cleared her throat as she spoke up trying to sound cheery. "A friend of momma's is going to come visit today. He wants to visit with you."
"Why?" Sophie asked frowning at this statement.
Nina sighed times like this making her wish parenting came with some kind of handbook. She came up with a reason quickly trying to sound natural. "Because he knows what a special little girl you are and he knows just how much I love you."
"Is he nice?" Sophie asked her curiosity winning over her apprehensions.
Nina gave her a soft smile trying to keep the cheery tone to her voice. "Of course. He's really really nice. He rides a motorcycle and fixes cars. His name is Filip."
Sophie tilted her head to the side as her mother finally moved away from her curly locks. "Can he play teaparty with me?"
"I'm sure he will if you ask nicely." Nina responded wondering if Chibs would be willing to go that far.
She hoped that he was being genuine with his promises the night before.
Nina knew she'd kill Chibs if he screwed up. If he lied to her about his dedication to Sophie then she would never forgive him.
Nina felt her heart begin to slam in her chest as she heard the doorbell.
She moved away from Sophie peeking through the peephole a sigh escaping her throat as she spotted the man she'd just been thinking of.
Chibs stood outside holding a large gift box in hand wrapped up somewhat sloppily with light purple wrapping paper.
She raised an eyebrow at this hating to admit that she was impressed that he'd come bearing gifts.
She reached down for the door handle turning it as she pasted a tight smile on her face.
Here went nothing.
Reviews? Constructive Criticism?
Sorry it's not that long. I just got a new laptop and I'm still learning to operate it which makes writing more exhausting.
Tia = (Spanish) Aunt/ Auntie
Fulana = (Spanish) Unmoral woman or to put it simply a tramp.
niña = (Spanish) girl