Chapter 19

The Dream

I cringed as the unwelcoming light invaded. It has been three weeks straight that I've been woken up like this and it was getting rather annoying.

"Get up, I'm sick and tired of this already! You need to get up and move on!"

They finally sent in the big guns I thought as a sigh left my lips. Week one was Mina, doting on me and telling me not to give up on love. Week two was Lita, bribing me with any and every sweet thing she could cook or ship in. Week three was Ami, piling self-help books on my bedside table and tried very hard to make me see logic in my situation. I am now at week four, and obviously facing the big gun.

"A good morning to you too Rei" I groaned as I covered my head with a pillow. As soon as the pillow landed it was snatched away.

"Don't play smart with me Serenity, this has gone long enough, I wont stand for this you hear me?!" wincing at her voice and turning over to my front was my only reply.

"You smell and look like shit, take a bath and get some decent food into your system"

"No"

"NO?!" Here it comes I thought as another sigh left my lips. As soon as the air left my mouth everything around my body was engulfed in flames. I mentally rolled my eyes at the situation. If I could go back in time I would definitely stop my childhood self from experimenting with Rei's flames. We found out that her flames had no effect on me and not only that, it would burn away and or burn around me completely leaving me untouched. It apparently was a great shield except it would spread and burn everything else. It took a while for the palace garden to recover since our little experiment. After a few seconds I sensed her wave the flames away with her hands. My bed shifted as she sat down on my partially burnt bed sheets.

"I know it hurts Ren, I really do. I know I've never loved, but I can see your pain and at times I think I even feel it. I think we all do. As much as I want to tell you things will get better, I can't. And I don't want to. So cry if you must, get angry, break things, yell if need be. That we can handle. The one thing we cant handle is our Princess shutting down and deteriorating right before our eyes. I'll support you through anything. I can only help if you help yourself"

"I don't know how" was my muffled reply.

"Don't know how to what sweety?" Rei asked as she gently brushed her hand repeatedly over my hair in comfort.

"I don't know how to be without him," I said turning on my back to stare at the ceiling.

"Rei, I'm Princess Serenity, the only heir to the throne of the Moon Kingdom. I'm the Princess who is loved, adored and admired by the people. I have a duty to everyone, the people of the Moon, my mother, my heritage, the Alliance and even you, my protectors. I've been taught to walk and talk a certain way, to do things in a certain way, to behave in a certain way. I was born and raised in a certain way"

"Sweety, we're Princesses, there are certain things …"

"You don't get it. I know you guys walked the same path I did. But I unlike the rest of you, I didn't find my self or know what I wanted. Until I met him" My sight blurred as my eyes filled with unshed tears.

"He treated me differently, he looked at me differently. He made me feel different. I didn't have a duty to fulfil with him, I didn't have to walk and talk in certain way with him. He made me do things that were inappropriate for a Princess like me" I chuckled at my last statement, the memory of me soaking wet after jumping fully clothed into the river flashed before my eyes.

"The more time I spent with him, the more I saw myself. Because of him I know who I am. He made me see that I'm not just a Princess, a daughter or a friend. I'm a person capable of mistakes, anger, curiosity and even love. I never thought I would ever find love or feel it even. But I did, with him" my tears finally rolled out in waves coating the sides of my cheeks.

I couldn't help but feel the stabbing pain in my chest as the words left my mouth. It hurt more than anything. It hurt to a point where it numbed me body and soul. My entire being rejected that fact. The fact I would never get to see his smug smile or that irritating smirk he would often throw my way. I would never feel the warmth of his embrace, the joy his laugh would bring me nor the sweet overwhelming sensation of his kiss. I will never be with him.

The words echoed in my head as an overwhelming pain shot through my chest once again. Everything around me grew dark as I let the emptiness consume me. I'm nothing without him. Life is nothing without him. Everything is nothing without him.

I didn't even notice the energy that dangerously circled around my unconscious form lighting up the room with silver light. Rei, shook me and screamed words I didn't want to do, 'come back'. Come back to what? To nothing? What mattered anymore? Nothing did. So I let that energy burst, let the emptiness encompass me. Let me become nothing.

END DREAM

AN: First I would like to apologise to everyone about the long update. I've recently started studying full time and juggling kids and studying does not leave me anytime to do much. Yunacarman this chap is for you! Thank you for your messages. It motivated me to find the time to sit down and write again. I know this chap is not the continuous of what happened last chap, and I know you all probably hate me for doing this flashback (sorry it's not longer).

So I've just re-edited this chap as I saw people are getting lost. This was a dream not a flashback (sorry! my bad). In my earlier chaps the scouts mentioned how Serenity was a mess when her affair with Endymion was found out. So this was just a little insight of what she was going through at that point in her life. But I hoped you enjoyed this please R&R ! I am typing out the next chap already. And hoping to have it up soon! ENJOY - alPha