When I reach the tower, I stop, putting a hand on the wall to steady myself. He's could be dead, his body could be in here. I don't really want to see that, but I have to know.

I can feel someone behind me and look to see Reiben, Mellish, Upham, and even Ryan trying to catch up to me. I wait for them to, not sure if I can go inside without them. Reiben steps up to my side, looking at me and seeing how determined I am to find Daniel.

He nods and clasps my shoulder. He moves into the ruined tower first and I follow. The others come after and Reiben starts calling Jackson's name, even throwing in a few Daniels. Ryan is looking for Parker and Upham joins him while Mellish and Reiben help me.

We spread out, shifting through the rubble, shouting their names until Ryan yells, "Hey, I found one of em'!"

I spin in his direction before running toward him and Upham. I stumble a few times, but Reiben and Mellish are there to catch me. When we get there Ryan and Upham have moved the wreckage off the body and Ryan says, "Its Parker, he's gone."

I let out a sigh of relief, and then feel a spike of guilt for it since a man is still dead.

"Jackson has to be close by," Upham says softly and we all start looking again while Ryan closes Parker's eyes and takes his dog tags.

"Found him!" Mellish shouts.

I rush over to him and the others who are gathered around the body. Reiben turns to face me, a grave look on his face and puts his hands out, trying to block me from getting through.

"Lilly…" he says in a pained voice.

"No," I say, tears gathering in my eyes again. "No, no, no, no, no, don't you dare, please don't, he isn't, he can't be- please no…"

I try to push through to see Daniel but Reiben catches me around the waist and pushes me back. "Lilly, you don't… you don't want to see this."

"Reiben get out of my way. He isn't dead, he can't be, he isn't- please God don't let him be dead, please!" I practically shout.

Reiben pulls me closer as I lash out at him, trying to break free from him. This just makes him hold me tighter and eventually, through the tears and cries, I give up. My knees start to give way and Reiben holds me up, slowly lowering me to the floor. I cry onto his shirt, grabbing his collar with both hands.

"Please Reiben, tell me he isn't- please, please," I beg between sobs.

"I'm so sorry Lilly," he says as the others watch us sadly. "I'm so sorry."

The rest of the day is a blur. We're put on jeeps and taken to some Allied base. The only reason I move at all to get there is because Reiben and Mellish are there to push me forward. All I know is that Daniel is dead, he's gone, and I'm alone again. The only person that has ever loved me, and that I loved since I could remember, is gone. I'm alone.

"Lilly," someone says. "Lils."

There's a sigh and the person says, "It's like she's not even there."

I blink, recognizing the voice.

"Lilly," someone else says more forcefully. They shake my shoulders and yell, "Lilly!"

I look up and see Reiben's face. He smiles and says, "There she is."

I look around, "Where are we?"

"Safe, relief showed up, you remember?" he asks.

I nod, finding it hard to think about anything except Daniel.

"Lilly, we talked to the General who sent our relief. Because of how you fought in combat, they're sending you home," he says.

I was supposed to go home with Daniel. Why do I get to go home and not him?

"No," I whisper.

"What?" he asks, not hearing me.

"No," I repeat louder this time. "No, no, no, I don't want to- I can't go home, not-not without- not when he can't."

Reiben looks at another man behind him; Mellish.

"Lils, what about Ruth, and Alice?" Reiben asks, Daniel probably having told them about them.

I sigh, putting my head in my hands. Ruth, and Alice, oh God, why, why did you do this? Why him?

"Lils, listen, we asked about Wade," Mellish says and this gets me to look up at them. "He got sent back state side. The plane you'll be on will take you into the same city he's in."

I look at Reiben and he nods. "Is he… is he okay?"

"He will be, but I bet he'd be happy to see you," Reiben says with a small smile.

I nod and my eyes drift off, looking at the floor. There's another sigh and the sound of two boots on the floor as Mellish leaves the room.

Reiben, Mellish, and Upham stay with me until a private comes to get me to take me to a field hospital, where I'll be transported back home with some wounded.

They all give me hugs before the private leads me away. I see Reiben telling the private something out of the corner of my eye.

On the plane, Ryan is there as well, and he sits with me. He doesn't speak, but the sounds of the wounded break through to my mind and I look around. There are soldiers bleeding, and crying, some missing limbs, some with burns, some with bullet holes.

I stand slowly and make my way over to one of them, half on autopilot. Ryan follows me and I whisper instructs to him as we make our way through the patients, helping the one nurse on the plane.

We get to the hospital and Ryan disappears. I stand off to the side watching the wounded being unloaded, and then remember what Reiben and Mellish told me about Wade. I go into the hospital and to the front desk. There's a nurse there, flipping through a chart.

"Excuse me," I say softly and have to repeat myself to get her attention. "Excuse me. Do you know where a man is by the name Irvin Wade?"

"Um, hold on hun," she says, looking through a bunch of charts and clipboards. "Ah, here we are, Irwin Wade, field medic, two gunshots wounds to the shoulder and stomach. He's on the fourth floor honey, room 411."

I nod in thanks, still out of it, and walk to the room. I search the many beds crammed into the small room until I see Wade. I walk a little faster over to him. He's reading a newspaper, sitting up a little, but is shocked when he sees me. But then he grows concerned. "Lilly, what happened?"

And then I break down again.

I go back to Tennessee a few weeks later, and I don't go alone. Wade had to wait a little to get discharged, and I didn't want to go home alone, so as soon as he could leave, he came home with me. He didn't have anywhere else to go, no family left, at least no close family.

When we got to the Jackson home, Ruth and Alice were on the porch ready to greet us. I can see on their faces that they are expecting the news I'm about to give them.

I help Wade out of the car and they're confused as to whom this is; they were probably thinking it was Daniel. I look at Ruth and Alice, and they can tell just by my face that Daniel is gone. They hug each other, crying and I help Wade into the house.

Two weeks later Wade and I have moved into the house next door, the house Daniel and I lived in for the few years we were married. Coming back here I was terrified, but Wade helped me. He walked me through the entire house as memories bombarded me, and the thoughts of how Daniel would never walk through this place again hit me. He held me as I cried again and told me that things were going to be okay. I still don't believe him.

But today, after being back in America for two months, I realize maybe things will be alright. I still think about Daniel every day, every hour, and it still hurts just to breathe, and see Ruth, and Alice, and remember everything we talked about that we were going to do. But as I hang up the phone after the local doctor called me back, I realize that life moves forward. I just wish Daniel was here to see it.

By the time I am taken to the hospital to give birth to twins, Wade is mostly healed. I'm crying- because of the pain, the joy and fear of becoming a mother, and sadness over how Daniel will never get to meet his children. He never knew, but that night in Neuville, the day we found each other in the middle of the war, he left me pregnant with a girl and a boy.

I refused to let the doctors and nurses make Wade leave. Seeing them push him out of the room made me almost hysterical. Daniel couldn't be here, but Wade has become my best friend, my brother, closer to me than Ruth and even Alice, and I was not going to go through this alone. They reluctantly let him stay seeing how panicked I was getting. He held one of my hands, as my other hands clutch Daniel's dog tags.

The first child is a boy. "Jack Michel Elijah Jackson."

Jack for Daniel's father, who was more of a father to me than my own, Michel for Sergeant Horvath , and Elijah for my former captain, Elijah Dunne, who I learned was recently killed in combat.

A few minutes later comes a girl. "Danielle John Charles Jackson."

Danielle for her father, John for Captain John Miller, and Charles for Private Long, who died with Captain Dunne.

A few months later, after the official end to the war, we get a surprise when a car comes up the driveway and out steps Reiben.

I'm at the window and when I see him a huge smile spreads across my face, a smile that is rarely seen anymore. I rush to the door and throw it open; Wade is looking at me like I've gone crazy.

"Reiben!" I yell and he turns around.

"Lils!" he calls and I run to him, practically jumping on him. He catches me, having to take a step back with the force I come at him with, and laughs. He picks me up and spins me around before putting me down.

"Reiben," Wade says and I move to let them shake hands. But Wade surprises him by pulling on his hand to bring him into a hug. Reiben sighs but then smiles and hugs Wade back.

"Nice to see you on your feet doc," Reiben comments and looks at me. "So, do I get to meet the terror twins?"

I glare at him for the nickname he's given my kids, but he just keeps smiling. I nod and wave him in. All three of us have been writing, and we've written a few letters to Mellish and Upham too, but mostly Reiben. He was the one who mostly took care of me after I was so distraught after Daniel's death.

Later that night we all get ready for bed and as I lay there trying to fall asleep, I hear a familiar noise. After another minute of listening, I realize it is what I thought and jump out of the bed. The twins are still asleep in their cribs and I want them to stay that way, also I don't want Wade to be stuck in whatever nightmare he's dreaming up now.

I open Wade's door and walk in, seeing his tossing and turning in his bed. He lets out a small scream and I cross the room, sitting on the bed next to him. I take his hand and say quietly, "Irvin, it's Lilly, its okay, you're safe now. It's alright, the war's over, you're home."

Reiben appears in the doorway, probably woken up by Wade's scream. Every little thing wakes up a soldier.

I wave him in and he cautiously steps up to the other side of the bed. Wade has calmed down a little and Reiben puts a hand on Wade's shoulder. "Wade, you're not there anymore. You're safe Irwin."

I watch as he calms Wade down in a way I could never before.

"Can you stay here? I want to check on Danielle and Jack," I ask.

He nods and I quietly leave. The twins are still sound asleep and so I return to Wade and Reiben. Reiben is asleep too, sitting up and leaning against the bed. I chuckle and sit down with my back against the bed and take Wade's hand again.

The next morning Wade wakes us both up, and when he asks if we stayed here all night, Reiben and I just look at each other and he says maybe. Wade smiles, laughs, and chases us out of the room. Before he closes the door however, he looks at us completely serious and says, "Thanks."

Three weeks later I'm getting a little frustrated. Every night we're woken up by at least one person, Reiben, Wade, or myself, having a nightmare. Mine are either about my father, the war, or Daniel's death. Wade has told us about some of his, and Reiben has told us very little- it's like pulling teeth trying to get him to talk about the war. This isn't the only part that's frustrating me though.

Having to wake up, or get waken up every night has taken its toll not just on me, but the others, just from the lack of sleep. This war is over, there's no reason for us to be sleep deprived anymore. Also, some nights, we wake up the twins because we can't wake each other up fast enough. If it's Wade or Reiben that wakes them up, their apologizing grates on my nerves- one, just because of how many times they say it, and two, because it's not their fault, they can't help they have nightmares about the hell we were all in.

I suggested that they both just sleep in the same room, that way they'll be able to wake or calm down the other if they start having a dream. Of course, that's when mine start. With being waken up so often from their nightmares, I often wake up before mine can start. Now that they've taken to waking each other up, I keep sleeping, and so am able to get to the point where I dream.

I usually wake up the twins and Reiben and Wade have to help me put them back to bed. Afterward they'll stay with me, sitting on the floor against my bed, or in the chair against the wall. One night, after having seen the effects of what sleeping upright and on hard surfaces has on them, I just tell them to get in the bed with me. The next morning we were wrapped around each other. It was different from what Daniel and I would be like, but it still felt… normal, and good.

Of course, Reiben and Wade freaked out. They kept apologizing, not letting me get a word in. I think they felt guilty, something about how they were taking advantage of me. I am technically single, so sleeping in a bed with a man, or men in this case, would be considered inappropriate. Of course, sleeping in the same bed with your brothers isn't, which is exactly what I consider them to be, but they're still leery about it.

Also, I think there was some awkwardness about how they were snuggling with their former friend's wife. For days this period of awkwardness and even shame influences every interaction we have.

On the fourth day of this ridiculousness, I put my foot down.

Reiben and Wade both just walked into the same room I was in and looked at each other, me, and then both tried to leave.

"Okay, that's it!" I shout and Wade jumps, literally jumps at my shouting. Reiben flinches a little but not as much as Wade. "Irwin, Richard, this has to stop!"

They both turn back to me and I cut off whatever Reiben was about to say. "No, you both have made it perfectly clear how you feel, it's my turn."

He shuts his mouth and they wait for me to continue. "Listen, I don't know what exactly you two have been thinking ever since you started avoiding me, but I can guess. But all I know is that I sleep better with my two brothers with me. And that's what you two are to me, brothers, and I just want my brothers back."

I take a breath as Danielle starts to cry in the next room over. "But if you two can't do that, if you don't consider me family like I do you, or you can't anymore, then you need to leave. Okay, just go!"

I walk past Reiben, hitting his shoulder rather roughly with mine on the way past. They call my name but I just keep walking. I pick up Danielle and start rocking her, my tears mixing with hers.

That night, I put the twins down for sleep with Wade and Reiben lingering down stairs. I get changed for bed and there's a knock on my door.

I pause and take a deep breath before telling them to enter. Both Reiben and Wade step through and close the door behind them. I lean against my dresser as they stand there for a minute before Wade speaks. "Lils, we didn't… we didn't mean to upset you, we just didn't know if…if…"

He looks at Reiben for help. "We didn't want to replace Jackson."

I look down at my feet and push a piece of hair behind my ear. "No one can ever replace Daniel. And I don't consider you… you like my boyfriends or anything."

I blush heavily even thinking about it.

"Well, we know that now," Reiben says with his trademark smirk.

I roll my eyes and Wade comes to me, giving me a hug. "I'm sorry for the way we've been acting."

Reiben steps up behind us. "Me too."

Wade and I exchange a look and one hand from each of us reach out, grab a handful of Reiben's shirt, and pull him toward us. He's caught off guard and stumbles into us. We laugh as we hug each other. When we pull apart, we're all still smiling.

"So, time for bed," I say, hesitantly, still not sure about the sleeping arrangement.

But then they each grab one of my hands and drag me to the bed. Wade pushes me gently into it and Reiben goes round to the other side and climbs in. I lay in the middle and Wade and Reiben lie next to me and we pull up the covers.

I lie on my left side facing Reiben and can feel Wade's arm pressing against my back, and his legs against mine. Reiben takes my hand and squeezes it and Wade says, "We're not going anywhere sis."

"Damn straight, can't get rid of us now," Reiben adds.

I smile. "Good."