Nina stood in her kitchenette the receiver to her old red phone held up to her ear. She felt a bit like a teenage girl all giddy and full of excitement as she twisted the phone's cord around her finger and spoke to the man who'd captured her heart so easily. "So are we still on for tonight?"
"Aye o course lass. I'm goin to stop by the store on the way home and pick up everythin I need fer dinner. Any requests?" Chibs replied just as giddy to be talking to Nina.
Nina bit her bottom lip hating to ask but she really did need it. "I hate to ask but could you get some apple juice...a jug of it? The Minute Maid kind. Soph ran out yesterday morning. She likes to have it when I make pancakes on Wednesday."
Chibs nodded his head as he leaned back against the old truck waiting out in the garage at TM for a new muffler. His lunch rested on the toolbox beside it. "Aye no problem hen. Can't let the wee love go without her juice. I'll get her and ya some muffins too. There's these cinnamon ones I buy all tha time. I think ya'd like em."
Nina smiled thankful that he wasn't put out by her requesting that he pick up a grocery for her. She spoke up clearing her throat a bit nervous about what she was about to ask him. "So do you think you could maybe stay the night...I know we said we were going slow and we still can...I mean it's just sleep...I just- I really liked it when you slept over last night. It was the best sleep I've gotten in a long time. You don't have too if you think it's too soon though...I don't want you to feel obligated or anything."
She let out a heavy breath almost afraid that he would think she was being clingy wanting him to sleep over this soon. She knew that some men didn't like women that clung to them so soon in a relationship.
She was trying hard to act on her feelings for him though. She didn't want her walls to shut him out. She had promised herself that she wouldn't let her trust issues sabotage what she had with Chibs.
What she had with him was good. It felt nice and she felt safe with him. He made her happy in a way that no one had ever really managed to do.
She wasn't lying though she had slept so well the night before and it was so nice to wake up wrapped up in Chibs' arms this morning. It was safe to say she was addicted to sleeping in his arms now.
He felt so warm and so safe. She loved the way she could lie in his arms and feel secure from the world outside and all the crap rolling around in her head. She loved the feel of his strong arms wrapped around her. She adored the scent of him; cigarettes, aftershave, leather, and a hint of musk.
Chibs couldn't stop the megawatt smile from spreading across his face at hearing this. "I couldn't refuse that request Nina. O course I'll stay the nigh...Can I stay fer pancakes tomorrow mornin. Even if it aint Wednesday."
Nina let out a laugh his little joke calming her frantic nerves. She was so freaked out to know that she was falling for him fast and hard.
Feeling this strongly for someone so quickly was frightening for her. She wasn't sure if she'd ever felt this way about anyone before.
"Yes you can. I don't think Soph would mind having pancake day a few days early. I'll even put chocolate chips in them if you're a good boy."
He grinned at this comment the realization that he would get to have breakfast with Nina and their daughter tomorrow so wonderful. Christ he loved them both so much.
He had spent his lunch hour in the empty garage though TM was closed today. He was enjoying the peace and quiet of an empty garage over the noise of the clubhouse and his anxiety ridden mind.
He felt his stomach roll as Nina spoke her voice holding a hint of worry. "How's everything on your end...I mean I know you said things were about to get crazy with half the guys locked up and everything."
"Calm fer now. I know the calm won't last though." He admitted his stomach rolling and aching.
He took a deep breath surprised as he felt himself opening up to Nina. "I..I'm freaked out love...Shite is intense. I jus...I need ya to stand by me through this. I don't think I can make it through this without ya and Sophie. When I'm with ya girls it makes me feel...I don't know, It makes me feel okay...Like nothin outside that apartment exists but us, ya know. I haven't felt that way in years...I haven't felt that happy in such a fuckin long time hen."
Nina tilted her eyes down staring at the white tile floor below her as she took in his statement. She was afraid of his life in SAMCRO. It all seemed so dangerous and so chaotic.
She couldn't stop her heart from feeling something for him though. Her heart overpowered her brain each time she tried to focus too much on these fears.
He needed her and she wasn't going to leave him out in the cold to deal with this all. "Of course Filip...I'll be there querido. I'm not going to lie to you...your life is extreme and I don't know really were to stand in it all. I just don't want Soph to get hurt."
"I don't want that either Nina. Christ it's the last thing I could ever want. She's my baby hen. It would annihilate me if anythin ever happened to our child. I know my life is a lot ta take on Nina...I know it's not easy to really accept or tolerate. I know it won't be easy fer ya to find yer place in it all love. I need ya though...I want ya in my life. I promise I'll do whatever it takes to keep it from scarin ya." Chibs blurted out pouring out everything in his heart to her.
He hated the idea of Nina being frightened of his world. He knew he shouldn't be shocked though.
SAMCRO wasn't for the faint-hearted. He knew Nina was strong, but even the strongest women could fall apart in that sort of life.
His world was a violent one full of heartache and fear.
A small part of him wanted to tell Nina to run away from him; to get herself and their daughter far away from him and the painful world that came with him.
He knew he couldn't order her to leave though. He was falling in love with her. He already loved Sophie so damn much.
He didn't want to be without them. He knew that it might be selfish letting them stay in his world even though he knew it might hurt them. He couldn't stop himself though.
Sending his hen and his wee love away would destroy him.
He would protect them he told himself; he would protect them or he would die trying.
Nina took a deep breath her stomach rolling as she spoke up. "I'm trying here Chibs. You mean a lot to me...you mean a lot to Sophie and me. I'm trying to trust you to keep us safe. Part of me doesn't want to know anything about the club...but I know that's not possible. I don't want there to be this big huge thing we can never talk about in our relationship. I want you to feel like you can talk to me when you're freaked out...I know I'd want that."
Chibs nodded his head everything within him feeling like a big jumbled mess. He hated to know that she was struggling with this but he loved knowing that she wanted to be there for him. "I know...we'll figure it out though love. It might take us some time and it aint goin to be easy, but nothin in life is I guess."
She nodded her head knowing that he was right. She remembered her tia's words once again Nothing worth having in life is ever simple.
"Okay. You're right. We'll try Filip." She agreed knowing that despite her aunt's warnings she would have to accept this side of Chibs' life.
It was either going to be everything or nothing at all, she realized.
She cleared her throat doing her best to push back all her fears and regain that cheery feeling as she spoke again. "I'll see you tonight."
"Aye. I'll be there." He replied letting out a shaky breath.
He was glad that they'd had this talk, but her fears made him anxious. He didn't want to lose her.
Nina hung up the phone running her hands along the black floral dress she'd put on especially for tonight. She couldn't help but to want to dress up for Chibs for their dinner tonight.
She took a deep breath as she made her way down the hall towards Sophie's bedroom. She opened the door a soft smile appearing on her face as she watched Sophie play with one of her Barbies.
Nina sat down on the floor in front of the girl as she spoke up nodding down at the Ariel Barbie doll who was currently being sat down in front of a little toy pink doll vanity. "What's Ariel up to?"
Sophie didn't look up from her doll as she pulled out a yellow glittery doll dress from the little container of Barbie clothes she owned. "She's going to go dancing so she has to change out of her tail. She's gonna dance ballet like me."
Nina smiled down at her daughter silently praying that Chibs would hold up to his promise to pay for Sophie's ballet classes.
She'd already taken the girl by the little dance school she'd been looking at and Sophie seemed so excited.
Nina bit the inside of her cheek knowing that she had to have a serious talk with her daughter. Sophie would notice that something was up with Chibs and her mother.
She reached out running a hand through her daughter's curls as she spoke up. "Can I talk to you about something Soph?"
Sophie stared up at her mother letting go of her barbie doll as she spoke. "We aren't moving again right?"
Nina gave the girl a soft somewhat sad smile as she spoke up. "No of course not Sophie. We're going to stay in Charming for a very long time I promise."
She paused her stomach churning as she spoke again. "Filip is...well you know how Ariel's boyfriend is Prince Eric?"
"Uh huh. He's her prince." Sophie stated nodding her head well versed in the plot to The Little Mermaid.
Nina smiled at Sophie as she spoke up knowing that this was the best way to explain things. "Well Filip is my boyfriend."
"Is he a prince?" The child asked raising an eyebrow not helping but to be a bit excited at the thought.
Nina twisted her lips trying not to burst out laughing at this question. "No peanut he's not a prince. He's just a mechanic Soph."
A mechanic and a criminal Nina's brain taunted.
She shut the voice in her brain out as she spoke up. "Is that okay honey? Are you okay with Filip being my boyfriend?"
Nina was almost frightened that the little girl would hate Chibs the way she'd hated the other men her mother had dated.
It would kill Nina if the girl shut Chibs out especially considering the truth.
She was stunned as Sophie hugged her tight and spoke up grinning up at her. "Yes. I love Filip. He's funny and he reads to me and he buys me pizza. Do you love him momma?"
Nina felt her heart jolt a bit at this little question. Crap how was she going to answer that?
She replied to the girl opting out of the question in a way. "I care about him a lot baby. He's a really nice man and he makes me very happy."
She was relieved that this question seemed to satisfy her daughter's curiosity.
Nina sighed her hand rubbing the child's back.
Did she love Chibs?
Wasn't it too soon for love? This part of their relationship had just started.
Her heart quickly answered that question though. God she was falling in love with him...she was already there. Her heart was his fully and completely.
Chibs climbed off his bike reaching down into the side compartments thankful that all the groceries had fit.
He let out a relieved sigh as he pulled out a small bouquet of purple, yellow, white, and blue wildflowers.
He hoped that Nina would like them. It didn't seem right not buying her flowers tonight after everything they'd talked about today.
Chibs hoped that the bouquet would be a little token of just how much that talk they'd had meant to him.
He had thought about buying roses but Nina didn't seem like a traditional woman. The wildflowers made him think of one of the paintings she'd made hanging in her hallway; a field of vibrant wildflowers.
Chibs kept his army green duffel bag locked tight over his shoulder as he searched for everything else he needed for tonight.
He took the plastic bags of groceries making his way up the metal staircase leading up to Nina's apartment over Estrella's Tavern.
Nina widened her eyes shocked by the bouquet in Chibs' hands as she answered the door. She stared down at the colorful flowers as they were handed to her. "Thank you...you didn't have to."
Chibs pressed a soft kiss to her lips giving a smile as he spoke up. "I do though hen. Couldn't show up empty handed. Gorgeous flowers fer a gorgeous lass."
She pressed another kiss to his lips laughing a bit at the final comment. "How long did you rehearse that line Telford?"
He chuckled pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he replied teasing her. "I don't have ta rehearse my lines lass they jus come to me automatically."
She didn't have time to reply to this as Sophie entered the room running straight to Chibs her arms encircling his leg. "Filip."
Nina smiled down at the girl loving the way Sophie adored Chibs. A tiny part of her couldn't help but to wonder if something deep in the child knew that he was her father.
She took the grocery bags from Chibs leaving him free to scoop Sophie up. He pressed kisses to her cheeks causing the girl to giggle as his facial hair brushed her. "Hey there pretty girl. What ya been up to today?"
"Tia took me to eat hamburgers for lunch and we ate oatmeal for breakfast and then momma took me to look at dance shoes. We're going to buy me the pink ones." Sophie exclaimed her voice full of excitement.
Chibs grinned at the little girl silently reminding himself to write a check for those ballet classes. He pressed another kiss to the girl's rounded cheek knowing that he could hold the child like this for an eternity. "Aye that's great love. I bet ya'll have a blast learnin to dance. Do ya like steak? I'm goin to make us some good steaks and some potatoes with some toast? Does that sound good to ya?"
Sophie nodded her head as he kissed her cheek again placing her back down on the ground. He watched her scamper off to the living room and her stack of coloring books a small smile on his face.
He was a little mesmerized as he watched Sophie open up one of her Disney coloring books and start to fill in the pages.
He was always so stunned by how serious she took the coloring. She took her time with each page never moving on to a new one until she was finished.
Chibs couldn't help but to wonder if his baby would grow up to be an artist like her mother. He liked the idea; Sophie growing up to have a normal safe job safe from his world. Maybe she could be a famous artist and he and Nina could go to her gallery openings and hang her art in their home.
He felt his stomach roll knowing that she'd never be truly safe though. Him being her father would always put his children into some sort of danger. This knowledge scared him to death.
The best way to destroy him was to hurt his babies. He feared that one day someone looking to hurt him would realize it.
He was pulled from this thought as Nina wrapped an arm around him nodding at the girl oblivious of his thoughts. "She's excited about the ballet thing...It'll be good for her you know? A chance for her to make some friends and get out of this apartment. She starts kindergarten in the fall...She's going to be the new kid in town. I mean most of these kids probably know each other from daycare and preschool or at least that was how it was when I was her age. Maybe with the ballet classes she can make a few friends before she starts school."
Chibs nodded his head knowing that she was right about that. He could remember being the new kid in school when his ma had moved the family from Scotland to Ireland. He'd hated it so much being new in an unfamiliar town. If he hadn't met Fiona he would have been alone in that world.
"I'll get a check to ya next week when I get paid again. Yer righ it'll be good fer her. I'll give ya extra than the class fee...that way she can get some clothes fer the class; leotards and tights and all that." Chibs replied pressing a gentle kiss to Nina's cheek.
Nina gave him a smile thankful that he was keeping his promise. She almost felt dumb for believing that he'd lie to her about something involving their child.
Chibs managed to make a wonderful meal for the three of them and Nina had been surprised by how delicious it all was. The steaks were perfectly seasoned and tender the baked potatoes were salty and soft and the bread was wonderfully toasted and buttery.
She had kept her promise making the two adults at the table mojitos while Sophie enjoyed the apple juice Chibs had remembered to buy.
Chibs could really cook. She couldn't help but to add that along to the list of the things she liked about him. She'd always had a thing for a guy who knew his way around the kitchen.
She wasn't the kind of woman to put up with a guy parking himself in front of the tv while she slaved away in the kitchen. She wouldn't cook and clean the house all on her own and be expected to dote on and bring beers to a lazy bastard.
She'd seen her tia put up with that type of man time and time again and she knew that it wasn't a happy scenario.
After Chibs had gotten Sophie to bed tucking the girl in and reading to her, the couple had found themselves sitting out on the sofa lost in one another.
Chibs and Nina sat across from one another on Nina's soft rose sofa. Chibs was unable to stop himself from placing her legs across his lap his hand running along her smooth legs.
Nina let out a soft sigh enjoying the feel of his calloused hands on her skin the cold rings on his fingers feeling pleasant against the warmth of his hands.
She had to imagine those hands on the rest of her body massaging her skin working her up into a frenzy his lips brushing against her heated skin. She pushed the thought back knowing that they'd promised to take it slow.
Chibs turned his head away from the tv his eyes locking on her. He spoke up unable to stop himself from saying the one thing that had been running through his mind all evening. "Ya look beautiful."
She gave him a soft smile her cheeks flushing a bit as she spoke. "I wanted to look nice for you."
He pulled her against him her legs falling from his lap as he wrapped an arms around her. His lips pressed to hers moving down to the side of her face down to her exposed neck.
She'd pulled her curly hair back at dinner and the wild locks still remained piled up on the top of her head.
He pressed his lips to her left shoulder over her dress down to her upper arm kissing her downward till he reached her wrist and the tattoo that was inked into her skin; their girl's name.
He spoke up as he pulled his lips back his fingers tracing the tattoo. "Would it be okay if I got her name on me too...I have me Kerrianne's name over my heart...I want Sophie's name on me too. If it's alrigh with ya?"
Nina placed a hand against his cheek running her thumb along one of his scars as she spoke her eyes growing a little damp; tears of joy. "Of course it's okay with me. I would love that. Where would you get it?"
He shrugged his shoulders leaning into her hand as he replied. "I don't know...maybe my ribs or my arm my forearm since my upper arms are a bit full."
She nodded her head liking the idea. She spoke up knowing that she'd been thinking about this so much lately. "I want to tell her the truth. I want her to know you're her dad."
Chibs pressed his lips to hers in a deep bruising kiss the realization that she was allowing him this so amazing. His baby would know who he was; not just her friend Filip, but her daddy.
He pulled back from the kiss letting out a heavy breath as he tried to regain control of his breathing. "Oh hen thank ya. Thanks so much."
She nodded her head giving him a half smile. "It's the right thing to do. I trust you to be a good dad to her. You're doing great."
He took ahold of her hand pressing a soft kiss to it as he spoke up. "Aye I'm tryin hard ta be good to her. I didn't have the best da."
She frowned curious to know more about the man she was falling so hard for. "What was he like?"
Chibs gave her a sad smile as he told her about a part of his past that so few people knew about. "My da was a mean bastard. Drunk most a the time. Cared more bout the pub down the street than my ma and his kids. He slapped my ma round till she finally pushed him to ta curb."
"How old were you when he left?" Nina asked giving his hand a gentle squeeze her heart aching to think of little Filip Telford watching his mother be treated so horribly.
"Bout ten almost eleven. My sister Cait was four. He never hit either one of us. My ma would kill him if he ever touched us. She protected us ya know. Kept us safe. I loved her fer that. My ma was a wonderful woman...strong and gorgeous. She had the darkest eyes...jus like Sophie's. Sophie has her nose too...my nose." Chibs explained her hold on his hand soothing him.
He paused his breathing a little uneven. "I always promised myself that I'd never be like him. I kept that promise. I may have done a lotta crooked shite in my lifetime but I've never hit a woman. I'd kill any man that ever thought of doin that to my girls. I have no toleration fer that kinda shite."
Nina nodded her head knowing by the sound of his voice that he meant every word he said.
She pressed a soft kiss to his lips the two of them closing their eyes as they ended the kiss. They kept their foreheads pressed together the two of them feeling secure with one another.
She ran a hand through his hair smoothing the tangles out as she spoke up. "I think your mom would be proud of you."
Chibs opened his eyes pulling back from her a bit. He gave her a grin as he spoke. "I don't know bout that love."
She gave him a crooked smile pressing a kiss to his cheek as she spoke. "She would. She would like that you're a good guy even with the MC stuff. She'd like that you're a good dad to your Kerrianne and our Sophie."
He smiled at her her words so beautiful. He tried to tell himself that maybe she was right. Maybe his mother wouldn't be too ashamed if she could see him today.
He spoke up letting out a soft sigh as he changed the subject. "Tha lads know bout ya and Soph. They understand."
"They don't hate me for what I did?" Nina asked her stomach in knots over this all.
Chibs pressed a kiss to her lips shaking his head as he responded. "No hen. They understand that we've both done shite we regret. They know we're tryin to work this all out. They know I care bout ya and our baby."
He embraced her Nina melting into his arms. She was so relieved that his family within SAMCRO didn't think she was some sort of bitch for running like she had.
As frightening and intimidating as that part of his life was to her she knew just how important his brothers and the club were to him. The men he shared a patch with were the only family he'd had for so long. Those men were all he had in all the years he'd spent separated from his estranged soon to be ex wife and his older daughter.
She wanted to find a way to be a part of his family in SAMCRO. She knew he wanted that from her; he needed it.
Nina knew that her tia was worried about that part of Chibs. She knew Gabriella had told her to be wary of that world. Her tia might have a soft spot for Bobby Munson and the idea of Chibs being with her niece, but that didn't mean she approved of this lifestyle.
But Nina knew that she couldn't let her aunt's fears hold her back from this. She wanted to make Chibs happy and being a part of that side of him made him happy.
She had to trust him not to let anything happen to their daughter.
She stood up from the sofa pulling him along with her. "Come on querido lets go to bed. Our kid is going to wake up bright and early expecting pancakes."
He chuckled at this knowing she was right.
He wrapped an arm around her as she led him back to her room.
Chibs loved his girls both so much. He would do whatever it took to keep them safe. Little did he know that their lives were about to get rocky.
Reviews? Constructive Criticism?
Querido = (Spanish) Darling