A/N: Wow, this chapter is really long. And also kind of depressing. I'm sorry… hopefully it will make the events of the next chapter that much better. I also wanted to show how much James cares for Lily again, in this chapter. I guess. O.O

Anyways, thanks so much to all who reviewed, it means a lot! And now…

And Then Came the Rain

Chapter Twelve

Being Forcibly Snogged, Death, and Rain

James

"James?"

My eyes had been slightly unfocused. I had looked at Lily before smiling. "…Hey, Lily."

She had started crying, kneeling beside my bed to hug me. I had weakly hugged her back.

That had been last night. Now Lily and I were having a meeting with Dumbledore by my bed, since I wasn't yet allowed out of the Hospital Wing.

"I was quite relieved to hear of your recovery, Mr. Potter," smiled Dumbledore. I grinned back.

Then the headmaster's face fell. "However," he sighed, "this attack was quite worrisome. Voldemort seems to be growing bolder in his tactics. I can only hope that this last attempt at infiltrating an area near the school will be a lesson to him."

Lily snorted delicately. "I highly doubt that, Professor," she murmured. Dumbledore nodded.

"As do I. For that reason, I am tripling protection around Hogwarts and Hogsmede, and students shall not be allowed into Hogsmede until further notice."

"What about the attacks?" I asked. "The planned ones, I mean."

Dumbledore tugged his beard, the first time I had ever seen him show indecisiveness. "I believe that, for the moment, the planned attacks shall take backseat. I eventually would like to bring them back…" He passed a hand over his glasses, sighing. "Alas, things do not always work out."

Finally, he stood, settling his robes around himself before turning to us. "Well, Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, I hope you have a good and restful day and thank you for your tremendous work two weeks ago." And then he was gone.

Lily sighed and pushed her hair back from her eyes, leaning back against my headboard, her shoulder barely brushing mine. I smiled slightly, closing my eyes and leaning back, too, feeling slightly drained yet energized by how close Lily was.

"James?"

"Mm?"

"Do you know who hit you?"

I growled softly. "Voldemort. Why me, I don't know."

"Accidental, I think," she answered. "That's what Pomfrey said."

"Okay," I said. We lapsed into silence.

"Lily?"

"Yes, James?"

"What happened to McLaggen?"

It was Lily's turn to growl now. "The idiot ran from the fight… left all of us behind. You might not have gotten hurt if he had been there…I got even with him, though, believe you me."

I laughed softly, immensely touched by her words. "What did you do?" I asked, curious.

"Oh." I opened my eyes and saw Lily blushing.

"What?" I asked. "Come on, it can't be that bad."

"Oh yes, it can," she muttered. "I… well… I turned him green, made him grow whiskers, and then hung him from the Astronomy Tower in his underclothes."

I stared at her before bursting into laughter. "You took a picture, right?"

She laughed as well. "Yeah, of course!" She pulled out a camera from her bag on the floor. I looked at it. "Isn't that mine?"

"Yes… should I not have borrowed it?" Lily looked worried and I grinned.

"No worries, what's mine is yours. Let me see." Taking it from its bedside table, I tapped the camera with my wand and then selected one of the thumbnails.

There he was, the heavyset McLaggen, writhing and shouting from where he hung on the Astronomy Tower, long whiskers drooping from his face, his skin a vibrant green, his white underclothes stark against the cloudy sky. I roared with laughter, and Lily grinned.

"Wow," I finally said. "And you didn't get in trouble?"

"No," she answered, sounding smug. "I think that if I hadn't done anything, Sirius might have murdered him, so the teachers were fine with me having it my way. Plus, he was totally cowardly! Inexcusable!"

I continued to smile, looking at the picture, before minimizing it and shutting off the camera. "So that's it, huh?"

"Yep. That's basically the only big thing you missed while you were out."

"Nice."

We sat in silence for a moment. Then I said, "Thanks, Lily."

"For what?" she asked, surprised.

"For being here. You know, watching me, and punishing McLaggen… It really means a lot to me." I fell silent, and then, unable to resist, added softly, "You mean a lot to me."

And then it happened. So suddenly I couldn't even comprehend it had happened… was happening.

Lily was kissing me.

Recovering swiftly from my moment of shock, I reached up, tangling my fingers in her hair, kissing her as fiercely as I possibly could, pulling her down towards me. She responded with equal passion, her hands going to either side of my torso, leaning on my chest…

Then she pulled back. I gave a little moan, opening my eyes. Her head was above mine, her eyes shocked and worried, her face red and her lips bruised. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered, panting slightly, into my ear, "This… never happened."

"What?" I gasped.

"Please," she begged. "Forget it. It never happened." And then she was gone.

I stared after her, shocked. After a moment, I glanced up. The Marauders, eyes wide, were standing at the door. "Prongs…" choked Sirius.

"Did Lily Evans just forcibly snog you?!" cried Remus. Peter just stood there, looking shell-shocked. I felt sort of the same way.

"Um… yes. Yes, she did."

"And then she tells you to forget that it ever happened?" Remus continued.

"Pretty much."

"What are you going to do?" asked Sirius.

"I'm…" I paused. What was I going to do? Then I sighed. "I'm going to… mostly forget about it."

In unison, my friends' mouths dropped. It would have been hilarious if I hadn't been so offended by their shock. "What?"

"You're actually going to forget?" squeaked Peter.

"Who are you and what have you done with James Potter?" demanded Sirius. I sighed.

How could I explain to them my reasons? I wanted to be more mature, more like Lily wanted me to be. I would do anything for her. I still hadn't really realized we had snogged.

I decided on the simplest answer, the one that would make me sounds the least ridiculous. "Lily asked me to forget about it, and I will do anything, absolutely anything, for her," I said. Sirius sighed.

"It's a nice sentiment, mate. If you want to do that, then we won't mention it either." I smiled at him gratefully, before realizing something. "Hey, what did you guys want?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "What did you think we wanted? You've been out of consciousness for two weeks! Of course we wanted some time with you!"

I laughed as the three sat on my bed. They had come to visit me when I had first woken up, but we hadn't had much time alone together. So now, I grinned at them, feeling insanely, embarrassingly happy that we were together, the Marauders.

Sirius grinned back, and then said, "So what'll our next pranks be?"

Lily

I just kissed James Potter.

I just kissed James Potter.

I just kissed James Potter.

I was running, running as fast as I could, from the Hospital Wing, after having made the biggest mistake of my life. I had been sitting next to him, confident in my ability to restrain myself from telling him everything, until he said, "You mean a lot to me."

And I had lost it. I had reached over and pressed my lips to his. At first, he hadn't responded, and I feared that I had made a grave error. But then, he was pulling me down, his lips ravishing my own, and it was all I could do to pull away from the wrongness of it.

And yet, it was the rightness that held me there.

It wasn't making sense.

I needed a drink.

))((

Two days later, I was standing in the Hospital Wing with the Marauders, Alice, Colleen, and Frank as James was released. He grinned, standing on his own for the first time, holding his rucksack.

We trooped to the Head Common Room. I watched James for any sign of fatigue. Despite his vehement protests of, "I'm fine, I'm fine, now stop babying me!" all of us stood close to him, ready to catch him should he stumble.

Reclining on the couches in the Head Common Room, we talked, all of us with small glasses of firewhiskey that Sirius had stolen for us from the kitchen. It felt good to sit and joke, all of us together, and it felt like Dementors, Death Eaters, and Voldemort were all far away, somewhere where they couldn't get to us.

))((

November began to pass. Soon, James was attending classes again, pulled few more pranks, and patrolled with me as Head Boy.

But he never mentioned the kiss. He had, apparently, forgotten it, just as I had asked him to.

I didn't particularly like that feeling, that feeling that he had been able to forget so quickly about that kiss, the first he'd ever willingly been given by the girl he professed to adore.

But I couldn't complain. He had done what I had asked of him. Our friendship was more important, anyways.

Thanksgiving was nearing, in the wake of a brisk chill in the air. Two weeks before the holiday, I was sitting uncomfortably in the dungeons, making notes from Slughorn's lecture on how to produce a Dreamless Sleep potion, something I already knew how to do.

Next to me, James rubbed his hands together, yawning. I glanced at the parchment in front of him. No notes. Apparently, he also knew how to produce this particular potion.

Suddenly his eyes flashed to mine, and he grinned. Taking his quill, he wrote on his parchment, Bored, Lily?

I smiled and wrote on the corner of my own, Yes. I know how to do this already.

Oh, so clever, Ms. Evans.

Sod off, you know I didn't mean it like that!

And now, such language. Tsk, your behavior is not befitting of Head Girl.

Right, and you're the ideal Head Boy?

Obviously.

Insert a huge eye roll right here.

Wow, way to ruin my self-esteem.

Your self esteem doesn't need any help from me, I guarantee it.

James glanced up at me and gave me a puppy dog face. I rolled my eyes, for real this time, but inwardly my heart was racing. It really wasn't fair that he was so good-looking…

He went back to the parchment.

Are you excited for Thanksgiving?

Obviously. The food here is so much better than at home… not like there's anyone to cook at home this year anyways.

Oh. I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me.

Did you just apologize for being insensitive? And it isn't your fault, don't worry about it.

James looked up at me again, mouthing, "Sorry, really," and then Slughorn was dismissing class. Alice and Colleen leapt up and pulled me along frantically. Apparently, they had something important to tell me.

Soon, we were seated in my room. "Okay, so what's up?" I asked.

"Huge news is what," stated Colleen excitedly. "Alice?"

Alice blushed bright red. "I- I know it's soon, but it can always be broken off…" She held out her left hand, where a small diamond sparkled. I gasped.

"Oh my God, he proposed?! You're engaged?!" I shrieked. Alice blushed even darker and nodded again. I screamed and hugged her tightly. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks," she said. "We'll see how things go… if it works out, we'll get married the summer after we graduate."

"It'll be perfect," reassured Colleen. "You and Frank were meant to be together."

"Without a doubt!" I agreed. "But come on, why are we up here? Let's go to Gryffindor Common Room and celebrate!"

Colleen endorsed this idea whole-heartedly and she dragged a protesting Alice down to the kitchens to get some firewhiskey and food. I went across the landing to James's room, knocking on the door.

"Come in!" he called, and I pushed open the door, wincing, expecting a… well, mess doesn't even begin to describe the Marauders' dorm room last year.

However, I was pleasantly surprised. His room was neat, his bed was made except for the comforter, which was pushed to the foot of the bed, his floor and carpet clean, his drawers closed, without giving a hint of what was in them.

James himself was standing by the window, feeding owl treats to his white owl. I smiled and went over to them.

He looked up, his hazel eyes welcoming. "Hey," he murmured, to not scare his owl. "Want to feed her?"

"Sure," I answered, taking some of the proffered treats. "What's her name?"

"Ophelia," he answered. I blinked at him. He groaned. "No, not after the whole Shakespeare dude's Ophelia. She was one of the first female teachers at Hogwarts…"

"And you know this how?" I asked.

"I read Hogwarts, a History, obviously," he answered, as if I were slightly insane. I stared at him and he sighed.

"Spare me your shock. What is it you wanted to tell me?"

I shook my head to clear it and said, "Well, Frank and Alice got engaged-"

"Really?!" he shouted. His owl hooted in disdain before turning and soaring out the window. I grinned.

"Yes, really. So we're having a party in Gryffindor Common Room to celebrate. Are you in?"

"If it's a party, I'm there," James grinned. "See you in a few."

Fifteen minutes later I was in Gryffindor Common Room watching as people cheered Alice and Frank, both of whom were blushing. I sank down on the couch, only to have James appear a moment later with two bottles of firewhiskey. I stared at him and he quirked an eyebrow, daring me to take one. Slowly, I did so, and he grinned.

Finally, the party died down, and James wrapped us in the Invisibility Cloak to take us back to our dorm. I bit my lip as our bodies brushed together under the Cloak. It was getting harder and harder to keep myself from snogging James with the firewhiskey running through me.

Suddenly, James stopped. I did as well, scuffing back quickly to stay hidden under the Cloak. He waited, barely breathing. I could tell he was straining his animagi-enhanced sight and hearing.

Then he moved, pressing me against the wall. I stopped breathing as his body pressed mine up against the cold stone of the wall. He glanced over his shoulder. I did the same.

Out of the darkness, Mrs. Norris strolled, followed by Filch. "You heard naughty students out of bed, sweet?" growled Filch. I bit my lip as Mrs. Norris mewled, turning her lamp-like eye to where we were pressed against the wall. Filch followed her eyes but shook his head. "No one there, pet. They must have moved. We'll catch them, sweet." He limped down the corridor. The cat followed, but turned to glare at us one more time before she left.

I let out the breath I had been holding, relieved, and then suddenly realized where I was. I lifted my eyes to James's. They were dark as they flicked from my eyes to my lips. Slowly, hesitantly, he leaned forward…

And I shifted away, with a little moan. He sighed and released me. We stepped away from the wall and started walking in silence to the Head Tower. Finally, James groaned. "What was that?" he said. "I haven't forgotten, you know. About that day after I woke up."

My blood turned to ice. "I- I don't know."

James glared at me, his glasses shining dangerously. When we reached the Tower, he pulled the Cloak roughly from my shoulders and stomped up to his bedroom. I watched him go, sinking down onto the couch and putting my head in my hands.

))((

The next morning, I waited downstairs for James like I usually did. When he came down from his bedroom, he gave me a nod and then left the room. I froze on the couch. What the hell?

Getting up, I rushed out after him, grabbing his arm outside the Great Hall. "James! What was that?"

He looked down at me tiredly. "Listen, I just really… don't want to deal with you today, okay? Please. For one day." And then he shook me off and walked into the Great Hall. I stared after him, and then sighed. He must have been irritated about last night. I groaned and then walked in as well, sitting up near the front with Alice, Colleen, and Frank.

"What's wrong?" whispered Alice when I glanced over at James and the Marauders. They appeared to be having a heated conversation.

"Nothing," I murmured. The rush of wings announced the owls delivering the mail. I jumped back as an owl landed on my plate. I stared at it. I recognized this owl; Lawrence, the owl I had given my parents in case of an emergency.

Slowly, I took the letter he was holding and opened it.

Lily,

I had to use this ridiculous bird because I had no other way to tell you this. Mother passed away two days ago, due to complications with the cancer and her treatment. We buried her this morning. So sorry you couldn't come.

Petunia

I stared at the letter, written on crisp Muggle paper, not parchment. Died two days ago. Sorry I couldn't come? Did Petunia hate me that much?

"Lily?" Colleen was shaking me. I snapped back to attention. "Oh, sorry. What's up?"

Colleen looked at me suspiciously. "Are you okay? You look like you're going to cry."

"I'm fine," I answered. "Late night last night, remember?"

I stumbled through the day. In Transfiguration, I performed mundanely, causing McGonagall to suggest I go to the Hospital Wing. In the rest of my classes, this cycle was repeated. All day, as well, I felt several pairs of eyes glued to me worriedly.

Finally, Defense ended. My Patronus was non-existent, without even a streak of silver showing itself. As soon as Dumbledore dismissed us, I was up and running, racing to my bedroom, ignoring the frantic calls of, "Lily? Lily!" behind me.

Reaching the Head Tower, I whispered the password to the portrait and slipped inside, running up to my room.

Once there, I shut the door, casting a Silencing charm on my room so I could sink to the floor and cry.

James

I had never felt so bad in my life as I stood outside Lily's door. After I had blown her off in the beginning of the day, I had felt slightly guilty, though she had seemed fine.

But as the day wore on, she seemed to be falling apart. Her work in class was awful, she didn't answer any questions, and I didn't see her talk to anyone. When our last class ended, I tried to catch her and ask her what was wrong, but she was gone.

Now, I was straining to hear anything from inside her room. It was uncannily silent. Why? I racked my brains before slapping my forehead. Silencing Charm. "Stupid Prongs," I muttered, stepping forward. Suddenly I halted as paper rustled under my foot.

I bent and picked up a crumpled envelope, with Lily's name on it in elegant script. I stared at it, and then knocked on the door, now having a pretense to enter her room.

A moment later, the door opened. I gasped. "Oh my God, Lily, what's-"

"Just tell me what you want, James," whispered Lily. Her eyes were bloodshot, tear tracks running down her face. I bit my lip.

"Uh… this was outside." I handed her the envelope and she took it before turning and shutting the door in my face.

I turned away, my heart aching, finally understanding the old rule of Treat others as you want to be treated.

Lily

The day after I found out my mother had died, I was fine, perfectly cheery and smiling. I apologized to my friends for my behavior, and all of them accepted it without question.

Except for James. He stared at me searchingly as I apologized, interrupting me to ask, "Lily, what's the matter?"

"I… Nothing," I sighed. Inwardly, I screamed, Everything! But I had to be strong, so I smiled at him.

James bit his lip and gently brushed his fingertips over my eyes. "It doesn't reach your eyes," he stated.

"What?" I asked.

"Your smile."

I blinked and then made some excuse about having homework. I spent twenty minutes standing in front of the mirror, trying to make my smile reach my eyes.

Two more days went by, and the racking sobs that I had cried every night slowly petered off. The nightmares were worse, though. I had to put a Silencing Charm on my room every night before sleeping so that my screams wouldn't wake anyone up.

And then, three days later, just when I thought things might get better, they got worse.

As I sat talking cheerily at the breakfast table with my friends, an owl landed in front of me. I choked on my juice and James, sitting next to me, pounded my back. "All right?" he asked, worriedly.

"Fine," I whispered as Lawrence stared up at me. I slowly took the letter from his leg and opened it.

Lily,

I regret to inform you that Father has also passed away. And I really do regret it. I'm sorry. Truly. Grandmother had the funeral yesterday and your bird wasn't around or I would have had you come.

He was driving drunk and crashed. They say he died painlessly.

Petunia

P.S. Don't bother coming home. We're moving. All of your things have been donated, seeing as you were moving out after you graduated from your freak school anyways, and your money is in your bank account.

I stared at the letter before standing, feeling numb. My friends looked at me concernedly. "Lily?" asked Alice. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," I said, smiling, but wishing desperately that one of my friends would see through my façade and save me from the depression that was consuming me. All my things gone. My father dead. Not going home, no one left, all of them dead… how? How? Why?

I started walking quickly out of the Great Hall, saying something about Potions, and then I was out the doors and running through the corridors, bursting out the door into the windy grounds, the gray clouds above rumbling ominously as I rushed to the Lake, staring into its depths, the letter clenched in my fist.

Suddenly, someone grabbed my shoulders and spun my around. I gasped and then my eyes widened. James.

"Lily, something's going on," he murmured. "What? Tell me. Please."

I closed my eyes. "Nothing. Nothing."

"Please, Lily, give me your pain," he whispered, begging. He ran a hand through my hair, and then I cracked.

James held me to my chest as I sobbed, choking out everything that had happened- my parents dying, my stuff being taken away, my home disappearing without any warning. He stroked my hair as my tears stained his shirt, the second time he had comforted me, as the skies rumbled ominously.

And then came the rain, pouring down from the sky to drench us instantly. It mixed with my tears and I looked up to see tears on James's face too. I smiled a watery smile, my eyes heavy, and he picked me up, one hand at my back and the other at my knees, carrying me up to the Head Tower.

I woke up when he lay me gently on my bed, sitting next to me. "James," I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"You won't leave me, right? You won't die and leave me alone?"

I thought I heard him stifle a sob, but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. He murmured, "I swear I won't leave you alone."

"Good," I sighed, and fell asleep.

A/N: This story does not want to follow my plans! I'm sorry if this chapter was really awful, and I feel like it may have been… but hopefully the next chapter will be up in a few weeks and it will be mostly happy. And I swear within the next two chapters (hopefully in the next one), Lily will be totally out of denial. I promise.

Please review!

))Riiko Shea((