De Re Coquinaria Bellorum Stellarum - The Unofficial "Star Wars – The Clone Wars" Cookbook
Chapter 4: Semper Idem...
„Are you sure this is edible, Master?"
Ahsoka stared skeptically through the vapours into the pan sitting on the stove. From her vantage point, seated on the cabinet next to the stove with her legs dangling, the mass her Master was lightly stirring looked more like a gooey, grainy, brownish mess than a dish fit to be eaten for dinner.
Anakin dismissed her doubtful question, waiting for the last of the moisture to be absorbed by the grains before adding some more of the stock and repeating the process. "Sure I'm sure, Snips. It's a well-known holiday dish on Tattooine, you see – rather expensive, since those tiny vegetables actually need lots of water to be grown, so they are saved for special occasions. But the dish itself is simple enough. I've only had it a few times in my life, but I am rather convinced that few things can go wrong when the instructions basically say roast the vegetables, add the grains, add the stock, add the wine, add the spices. And as you can see, so far it's working out fine."
His padawan still looked rather dubiously at the strange texture of the mix boiling in the pan, watching as her master added a splash of the clear, Nabooian wine Senator Amidala had gifted him with on the occasion of last month's autumnal equinox, a traditional family holiday on her home planet. She was rather certain that the Senator had not intended for the wine to be used for cooking, as it was a vintage harvested on one of Queen Jamillia's personal estates, and thus, not something to be generally found on the aisles of Coruscanti food markets. But then her master had always had more of an appreciation for rare Corellian whiskey than aged Nabooian wine, however much the latter might be deserving of the same savoring as the former, and as he said, what the Senator didn't know, wouldn't hurt her. Well, if she ever found out, it was on his head, anyway, so she stopped protesting and let him do with his wine as he pleased. As for herself, she didn't much care – she was too young to be drinking alcohol, anyway, and thus rather wrinkled her nose at the smell of the liquor and the amount Anakin was pouring onto the sloggy mess in the pan. Little though it might be, every drop was one too many, in her opinion.
The Jedi knight then grabbed the salt and pepper shakers off the rack above the stove and started liberally sprinkling the grainy gunk in the pan with spices. Ahsoka watched on, once more regretting her decision to agree to let Master Skywalker cook tonight when he had suggested it after their last training session. Really, her Master could barely heat a can of soup without producing a disaster, and looking around their small kitchenette right now, where vegetable bits, dirty knives and splashes of stock seemed to cover every available flat surface, a catastrophe seemed just about imminent. How one of the best strategic thinkers of the war could be so disorganised when planning a minor endeavor in the realm of cooking was beyond her – that was definitely one of the greater mysteries of the Force. It did make her doubt the wisdom of her decision to agree to Skyguy's spontaneous idea, though.
Said general now finally seemed satisfied with his opus magnum, shoveling the mix of grains and vegetables onto two plates and handing her one of them, along with a fork. "Come on, Snips, let's go find out whether Sebulba's going to lose the Race Series on Nal Hutta yet again. I wonder how he'll get out of his debts this time if he does..." He poured himself a glass of wine, picked up his own plate and moved toward the living area of the small flat assigned to him in the Jedi temple.
Ahsoka just shook her head. She'd never quite understood why her master insisted on learning about the livings and doings of this disreputable creature on a semi-regular basis. Must have something to do with childhood dreams dying hard, she guessed. Or childhood nightmares, perhaps... On another occasion, she might have wondered what kind of dreams and nightmares she might be remembering in a few years' time, but after a long day like this, and with the dubious results of her master's cooking still ahead of her, she was past caring, and all too happy to spend an evening watching pointless Potracing reports on the Holonet.
Settling down on the couch next to Anakin, who'd found the appropriate channel and was absorbed in watching the race, she leaned back, scooped up a bit of the messy gunk her master called a Tattoine holiday gift, closed her eyes, and put the forkful of food into her mouth. Chewing slowly, she waited for the inevitable catastrophe to hit.
It was... not bad. Not bad at all, actually, not that she'd tell her master so. Skyguy's head was big enough without adding compliments about his cooking skills to his accolades.
Sighing deeply in contentment, Ahsoka set about cleaning her plate to the last scrape of food and then lay down on the couch, putting her feet onto Skyguy's lap. It was so nice to just have an evening off for once. Almost a holiday, really.
On the next morning, between puking her guts out, holding her stomach and moaning in pain, Ahsoka really couldn't help but think that she should have known better. This was herself and Skyguy, after all. Catastrophes always happened – a delay in arriving did not mean that there would be any exception to the rule; just that it would be all the worse when the storm finally hit them. A storm brewing in her stomach, as it were right now.
If she survived this, she was going to find a way to make Skyguy pay for this... He could clean up the kitchen alone, for all she cared... Force, who could have known that food poisoning actually hurt so much?
And thus, while she listened as the healer in charge explained to Master Skywalker the exact difference between the edible and the non-edible varieties of Tattooine Fungini, pointing them out with almost comical ostentation on a colourful chart he had brought along for just this purpose, she made a solemn vow to herself that she intended to keep from now on until her dying day – to never, ever, ever trust Anakin Skywalker's abilities in the kitchen again.
Risotto with Mushrooms and White Wine
1 medium-sized white onion
500g mushrooms (the exact German name is Champignons, since I'm not sure about the definition of 'mushroom')
1 ½ cups of arborio rice
ca. 3 cups of vegetable stock (the instant kind, dissolved in water)
½ cup of dry white wine
salt, pepper
1. Clean the mushrooms. Peel and wash the onion. Cut the onion into small cubes.
2. Heat a large pan. Add some olive oil and the onion cubes. While glazing the onions, cut the mushrooms into thin slices. Add the mushrooms and sauté (I hope that's the correct English term) until they've distinctly shrunk in size, and are brown. Add the rice, mix with the vegetables and roast slightly.
3. Add some of the stock to the mix so that it is just covered in fluid. Wait until the stock has been absorbed by the rice, then repeat the procedure until all the stock has been used up. Add the wine and wait until that has also been absorbed by the rice. It's a good idea to already add some salt and pepper during the last two repetitions, since the spices are absorbed better when added to the watery mix, rather than the finished product. After stock and wine have been added and absorbed, season to taste and serve while hot.
Important note: Arborio rice needs quite a bit of time to cook. If the rice is still rather grainy and hard after all the stock and wine have been added, just heat the risotto for a few more minutes and wait for the rice to finish cooking. Usually the additional heat does the trick; otherwise, add a bit more water and wait for the rice to soften.
Bon appetit!
So, this was not the chapter I had actually planned to publish next. But I've been having a very long week, and came home tonight wishing for nothing more than one evening without having to think about uni or work, and while slicing mushrooms (for a different dish, though), this one-shot came to mind. It's a bit shorter than usual, both because it was written on the spot during the last two hours and because I'm trying to train myself to use fewer words on occasion. Thus, I'd like to know if I hit the tone right. Constructive criticism is very appreciated!
Thank you!
(Btw, despite Anakin's inability to tell edible and inedible mushrooms apart, and Ahsoka's rather unappetizing descriptions, the risotto is quite tasty. It's one of my standard dishes for when I don't have time for something new or complicated, since it's fast and easy to cook and needs very few ingredients.)
Last, but not least, the most important thing: Ahem, ahem. General disclaimer: I do not own nor gain anything (and most certainly no money) by the use of any recognizable material referred to in this FF. I have indicated my sources to the best of my knowledge in the last chapter of this FF; please consult the bibliography you find there and send me a PM if you think that anything is amiss with that list. If I forgot about anything, I will most certainly remedy that mistake as soon as possible; otherwise please trust me that the remaining ideas in this FF are entirely my own, whatever similarity to works unknown to me they might bear, and do me the same courtesy of indicating this FF in your sources in case you plan on using its content. Thanks!