So, I took a bit of a break, but I'm back now! Going on a bit of a writing spree today!
The snow and slush has finally left the ground, the warming sun is out to greet the animals, and in the two weeks since that night with Hannibal? Everything seemed better than normal.
He had come over that night to tell me what he'd been worried about. Turns out one of his patients may have become obsessed with him, and in turn, possibly obsessed with me. He couldn't be sure, but we've been taking the proper measures to make sure we're both safe. If anything comes up as an alarm in a session, he lets me know despite the confidentiality act, because he figures my safety is more important. Of course, to protect the identity of his patient, he never gives me a name. A few times, he's noticed the man and his friend in the same grocery store or restaurant, but we have a system on how to handle it now. More often than not, we spend the nights together, mostly at his place. But I'm alright with that because he cooks every night.
I'm glad I put my own insecurities beside and chose to work this out. He's been helping me with anger, swearing, and irrational thoughts when I interpret things without taking away from who I am. I've been helping him keep an open heart for me, as well as patience, on the nights when my irrational anger is worse than others. It's a work in progress, we haven't been together all that long, but it's one of the best relationships I've had. It's like we should've been together all along. We're meant for each other, I'm pretty sure of it.
"So, you're coming in an hour, right?" I heard Hannibal sit across the line, a smile echoing through his voice.
"No, you suck. Obviously, I'm coming!" I spoke loud for the speaker phone to hear me as I try, in vain, to pull on stockings. As I listened to his gentle voice, an anxious feeling settling in my stomach. I push it away. Hannibal laughs and I hear material ruffling around. I imagine him lying on the therapeutic couch in his office, where we had spent an hour or so forgetting the world around us.
"Great. You're going to love where I take you, a dining experience you've never had before."
"I've never been to dining in the dark before! Does that mean I don't have to dress up? I'm too lazy for that." I hold up the black cocktail dress Hannibal had bought for me. Sure, he had good taste, but it looked awfully tight. I've been in more of a booty shorts and tee-shirt mood lately.
"You have to dress up," Hannibal chuckled ", at least for me?"
"Fine! Fine, but you need to give up those silk pajamas later. Just your underwear- wait! No. Nothing at all." I laugh, starting to work my makeup onto my face.
"Deal! I'll meet you outside, side lot."
"Yep, see you soon!"
"Not soon enough, darling." Then the line went dead. I rolled my eyes with a smile, ending the call from my end.
Yeah, we're definitely made for each other. For a guy so uptight, he's more my level and I suppose, for a girl so loose, I'm his level too. We meet somewhere in the happy middle.
I spend the next forty minutes trying to pass the time. I went slowly with the makeup and hair, eventually forced to slip the dress on. I suppose it wasn't so bad; the bottom flared out around my thighs, so at least my legs weren't pinned together. I mean, I like dresses but I also like sitting like a man. I thought about calling Will, but he and Alana had taken a vacation of sorts, and I didn't want to interrupt that. So instead I played with different shoes. I chose some black flats, pulled on a shawl, and finally left.
I keep driving along, the anxious feeling still in my stomach. But shit, our dates still make me nervous. He's always so charming and sweet, I feel like I'm going to say something stupid. He'd never chastise me for it, of course. Hannibal just has a way of making me nervous.
Just as I let my mind stray to more pleasant things, like Hannibal being naked as soon as he gets in the door, my cell rings with Hannibal's tone. My brow furrows… he typically wouldn't call me if he knew I was coming over. I feel the anxiety poke and prod at my organs, begging for me to let it in and overtake my senses. But Hannibal always tells me that the chances something are really wrong are low and I should save worry for the immediate emergency. So I set my phone on the dash in the pocket and answer him.
"Hey, Hannibal."
"Sorry for calling you again, bad time?"
"Nah, it's fine. Just driving, hands free, on speaker. What's up?" I'm halted a red light and I shake my legs back and forth. I just want to get going and see him.
"Nothing fatal, so let any worry you have go. I just finished up my last session early… due to unfortunate circumstances." He seemed exasperated. I could hear the discomfort in his voice, as I so often do, so I offer my ear.
"Circumstances? Like... dangerous ones?"
"Oh, I don't think so. The man who has been following me? I gave him a referral, I thought it'd be best. He was very upset, he stormed out." Hannibal's upset, I can tell that much. Maybe he's never had that happen before…
"Oh… that's not good. Do you think he might do something… uh, not so good?"
"I'm not sure, now. I don't think he'll turn violent but I'm worried for him for other reasons."
"I'd be worried too. But you have to know you did what's best for you and him. Maybe he'll stop being all over you now?"
"Perhaps..." Oh, he's so upset. He just breaks my heart with how passionate he is about helping people.
"You know, him storming out isn't a reflection on you as a therapist. You're wonderful, he's probably just a little hurt right now. I think once he gets all settled in with his referral, it'll all be fine." It's times like these that I recognize how vulnerable he is. He sounds so small and meek on the phone right now, I just want to give him a big hug.
"Thank you, Celest. I'm glad you… oh, I have to go, there's someone at the door."
"Alright, I'm ten minutes away. Bye."
He grumbled before hanging up the phone. I felt that heavy feeling in my stomach again, a little strong than before. I start thinking about speeding; all I want to do is see him right now. But I take a few breaths, pushing it aside. This is the kind of thing Hannibal was telling me to control.
'The chances that something is actually severely wrong are low, save your energy for the real emergency.' Hannibal's mantra runs through my mind. I feel myself coming down from a possible attack. I keep my knuckles tight around the wheel none the less, making my way to Hannibal's office. As promised, I park in the side driveway, legs shaking back and forth with gentle anxiety.
Eventually, the clock hits the exact time Hannibal should be in my car and he's not out yet. He's always on time. So when the clock changed from two minutes late, to eight, to ten… I felt sick with panic.
Hannibal's mantra be fucking damned, something is off about all of this. I slip off my shawl and toss it in the back before getting out. Locking my car, I look up into the high windows. Nothing looks wrong, but I feel it deep in my bones. I basically crawl into the building, hell-bent on making no noise. I don't hear much from this side of the waiting room, but as I make my way closer, I hear two low male voices. I know that one is Hannibal's, but I've never heard the others. I press my ear closer to the door, trying to make out what's going on.
" … doesn't have anything to do with this." That's Hannibal.
".. you brought her into it… your fault…" Now who the fuck is that? I press myself closer, my body flush against the door. It's not a voice I recognize…
"Hurt her and I'll have to kill you." I hear Hannibal say that and I'm pretty sure they're talking about me. There isn't anyone else alive he's protective over, other than Will.
"I was hoping you'd be… partner." Be his partner? The fuck does that mean?
"You'd… me caught. Franklin's on… floor. Already, you're attracting attention." Did he just say 'you'd get me caught'?
"Then why didn't you kill me… dinner. You could've poisoned me."
"I wouldn't… the food."
There's a pause and I'm pretty fucking confused. Why is someone in there threatening me to Hannibal? Why the fuck is this asshole making Hannibal out to be a killer? Fuck this, I'm calling the cops. I feel down my body for my phone, but I'd left it in the car on top of that fucking safe driving mantel bullshit. This shit couldn't get any more horror movie moment. I go to leave, but I hear Hannibal grunt in pain. Logic abandons me. My car is a minute away, but Hannibal's hurt and he's on the other side of that door.
A hasty step forward and I'm in the room, Hannibal's wrist tangled in a… the fuck is that?
"Is that a fucking cello string?" My eyes follow the wire to a black man. He scowls and grins at me all at once. He turns back to Hannibal and kicks him in the stomach, his arm untwining from the string. As I watch Hannibal fall, I feel bile in the back of my throat. It slowly becomes harder to breathe as rage starts to infect my brain.
"Celest, meet Tobias." Hannibal speaks, slow and collect as usual, standing to face me. I see blood seeping from his mouth and I ball my hands into fists so tight that I cut my palms with my nails.
"Fuck you, Tobias! I just wanna know what the fuck is going on!" I try to keep my voice low, but I can't help but yell. This Tobias cunt started to beat the shit out of someone I care about and that shit doesn't fly with me. Hannibal goes to speak, but this asshole interrupts him.
"And you're Celest." Tobias grins, and I can already tell, I hate this mother fucker. Even his voice angers me.
"No shit. Get the fuck out, or I will fucking wreck you." I growl, swinging my hand back against the wall just behind me, putting a hole into it. Tobias seems impressed and starts to swing his cello weapon like a fucking asshole. I grab the vase just on the table beside me, raising an arm to throw it at his face.
The cello string flies and wraps around my wrist and it fucking hurts. I go to pull back, but my wrist starts to bleed. So I drop the vase and run forward instead. Before he can move back, I'm on top of him, knees on his shoulders and interlocking hands pounding into the top of his head. I go to dig my thumbs into his eye sockets, but he throws me off, taking a lunge at me.
I try to crawl and get to Hannibal's desk, but he grabs my legs and drags me back. Flipping me over, he starts to wrap the string around my neck. My arms are under his legs, so I do the next logical thing. As his hand lowers to do another loop around my neck, I bite his thumb hard until I feel it detach in my mouth, and spit it out. His screams are music to me ears, so I go in for another finger.
'Blood tastes like old world gold.' Is the last conscious thought that goes through my mind as my vision blurs… then blackens.
Boy, I sure have been waiting to write this scene.
xoxoPN