Chapter 2

December 2, 2008

--

Emily was frazzled and the fault fell on a pair of small six-year-old shoulders. She'd been more than happy to look after young Jack Hotchner the previous day to give his father a chance to finish up his paperwork, but the boy had managed to find his way into some rather disconcerting dreams of hers later that night. Sure, Emily had been struck with the way her supervisor was with his son and she'd actually probably been one of the few people to see the warmer side of Aaron Hotchner, but that didn't mean her subconscious had to conjure up pictures of her own child.

A child that looked remarkably like her and her supervisor.

It had happened every time she had closed her eyes and Emily came into work that morning, grumpy and disgruntled. Since she was the first into the bullpen – though both Hotch and Rossi were there, if the light in their offices was any indication – she plunked down in her chair with an interesting study a friend of hers in the research department had found and plugged her headphones into her laptop. Christmas music was bound to calm her down at least a little bit considering the season.

It was how she worked through the entirety of the day. She kept her earbuds in, only pulling them out for a phone call or a question. She tried to focus, but apparently that day wasn't going to be as cooperative as her first. Even working steadily through the day without interruption from the rest of the people around her, she couldn't seem to make her brain get the right set of words for what she wanted to say, nor could she seem to get herself to focus on the consults on her desk.

Emily sighed, rolling her shoulders and glancing around the bullpen for the first time in probably four or five hours. The lights at the various desks in the bullpen were off, signaling the lack of people in the place and she blew out a breath. Unplugging her headphones she leaned back in her chair and let the music float over her, her dark eyes falling closed as she tried to calm down her body and brain. She'd been sitting upright and tense for the large majority of her time in the office and she was starting to feel it.

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born

"Do you always listen to music in the office?"

Emily jolted upright, her surprised eyes locking onto her supervisor's. "Sorry, Hotch. I didn't know anyone else was in the office." She hoped her skittishness didn't show through.

"So you only listen to music when there's no one else around."

Why the heck did he care? What did it matter? There was no one else around, so it wasn't like it was bothering anyone… "It's better than listening to silence."

--

"It doesn't distract you?" He had no idea why he was questioning this, had no idea why he cared, but since the previous day, he'd been unable to get his curiosity about her out of his head. She was fantastic with children and she was an artist in her own right. Jack had shown him the reindeer ornament and he'd been impressed with her artistic skill. It made him wonder what else the usually reserved woman was keeping back.

"I work better when there's sound," she admitted. "And the earbuds keep people away."

He had noticed she'd been wearing them almost all day and wondered in passing why, but it wasn't his place to ask. And of course he had noticed. He'd been watching her all day, not that he'd ever admit it, even under oath in a court of law. She'd surprised him yesterday with the side of her she showed to Jack. As he'd lain awake the night before, unable to make his eyes close in sleep, he'd contemplated the other side of his subordinate. When he'd finally managed to drift off, he'd made a decision. He'd try and learn more about the woman he'd all but treated as a plague in his unit for years. There was so much he didn't know about her.

He cocked his head to the side as he took in the words. He knew that to get her to open up to him would mean he would probably have to open up to her first. "This is my favourite Christmas song."

She looked almost startled by that revelation. "Mine too," she said. "Well, and It Came Upon a Midnight Clear."

"Also an excellent choice," he agreed. "I wanted to thank you, again, for watching Jack yesterday. He really enjoyed it." He could have killed himself at her blush. He couldn't remember ever seeing her do it.

"He was a pleasure, Hotch," Emily replied. "He's a fantastic kid. A lot like you, actually."

That came as a surprise. He figured Jack would display characteristics more like his mother since he spent so much time with Haley. "Really?"

"Mmhmm," Emily replied, closing her eyes to let the music wash over her. "Your intensity, concentration… looks like you too."

That much he knew. He looked around the office, double checking that there was indeed no one else around. Then he took a deep breath, a big chance. "Do you mind if I work out here?"

Her eyes flew open. "Here?"

Hotch waved to Morgan's desk. "I still have some things to finish, a few consults, things like that. Do you mind if I work out here?"

--

If she was honest with herself, no, she didn't mind in the slightest. She always felt terrible that she was working down in the bullpen and he was all alone in his office. It didn't really foster the team dynamic for Hotch as it did for the rest of them. She tilted her head to the side, considering him. "I have a better idea."

"Okay."

"Can we work in the conference room? There's so much more room in there to spread things out."

He smiled then, not the carefree one she'd seen with Jack yesterday, but enough to bring out just a hint of his dimples. "So long as there's Christmas music.

She actually found herself laughing. "Of course."

"Then you're on."

Emily closed her condo door behind her, locking it more out of habit than conscious effort. It was eleven o'clock at night. It had been Hotch that had brought her attention to the time. She'd been so wrapped up in her consults – and his as they bounced ideas off of each other – that she hadn't even realized it had gotten so late. It had actually been a fun experience, not quite like the paperwork campfire sessions she, Reid and Derek sometimes had in the bullpen, but it gave her a warm fuzzy feeling nonetheless.

For one thing, Hotch had actually laughed. Emily knew she had a habit of giving non-behavioural advice out loud for consults. She and Derek often exchanged smartass comments about the work they were doing. It made time go faster and made what was usually a mundane task half decently interesting. She'd been almost mortified the first time she'd blurted out a comment.

"Too bad I can't write that," he'd said wryly before turning back to the papers.

It had instantly put her at ease again. The second time she'd done it, she'd known the comment was absolutely absurd. He'd gone quiet for a moment before bursting into laughter. Emily had sat there for a moment, stunned, before joining in.

When they were down in the parking garage after packing up, Hotch had grabbed her elbow just as they were about to split for their separate cars and dark homes. He'd thanked her for a nice time, for reminding him that work could be fun, for letting him listen to her Christmas carols. Emily had told him it was tradition.

"Tradition?"

"Yeah. Every year I put together a new Christmas CD."

"Every year?"

Emily shrugged, realizing just how much she was sharing. Her Christmas traditions were personal and she'd never considered herself close enough to Hotch to share so much as a work ritual, let alone a Christmas one. "I get sick of a few songs every year so instead of skipping them on the CD, I just make a new one."

"You have that much Christmas music?" He seemed actually surprised at the notion.

Emily laughed. "Hotch, you need to get out more. There are tonnes of songs out there for Christmas."

"Show me."

She rolled her eyes but brought out her iPod, stored safely in her purse. She quickly scrolled through the music until she found her Christmas genre, then handed the small device over to him. "There's multiple versions of the same songs, but the number is still pretty high."

He looked almost awed as he scrolled down through her list. There were so many songs. "Wow. Where did you get this?"

"Collected it over time," she said honestly, taking the iPod back, trying to hide her reaction when their fingers brushed. She wasn't some teenaged girl for goodness sakes. Her insides didn't melt at the simplest touch. Or so she'd thought. They were currently and rather effectively proving her wrong.

"It's impressive."

She felt inexplicably happy that she'd managed to impress him. She smiled. "Goodnight Hotch."

"Goodnight, Emily," he replied. "I had fun tonight."

"Me too," she agreed. "Thanks."

Then they'd gone their separate ways. Except he hadn't left her head. She went to her CD player, pulling her Christmas CD from the case she kept it in for the car. She went about the motions of putting it in, pressing play and allowing the music to float over her. She chewed on her lip, toying with an idea floating around in her head. He'd seemed so seriously surprised to see how many Christmas songs she'd had. She almost felt bad. But there was a quick and easy way to remedy that.

So she sat down at her computer and put a blank CD into the drive.