Pepper dreamed of silence. The deep and dark silence that filled Tony's mansion while he was gone. The kind of silence she refused to acknowledge or interrupt with tears after the first month. The silence that made sleeping alone a torture.

She awoke on the couch to the sound of a woman laughing. This confused her deeply. Pepper checked the wall, expecting to see the movie she'd been watching whirring on, but the screen was blank, meaning her dozing had been longer then she'd expected. She squinted her eyes at the man who entered the living room. "James?"

"Pepper, I want you to know that I tried to stop him. I did and…"

"What are you talking about?" Pepper checked the clock, worried that it was past two.

James looked tired, and his clothes were crumpled, jacket nowhere to be seen. "I was dancing, distracted you know, and he started to talk to people, which at first I thought was a good thing. Then we ordered champagne and…"

She stood, putting her hair into a ponytail. "James, I don't understand."

"Don't blame me. And don't kill me. But whatever you want to do to Tony is fine, because that man dug this hole himself."

"Wait, I…"

"And this is the living room!" Tony's voice trumpeted before he came around the corner.

Pepper's mouth hung open a little, she couldn't help it. Her boss was plastered, disheveled, and grasping a young blonde. To be accurate, her boss was plastered, disheveled, and grasping a young blonde again. But this was the first time he had done such things since returning, and a small part of Pepper's mind had hoped she would never see this sort of thing again, hence her mouth opening. She shut her lips, teeth clanking together then settling into a grind.

"Well hello Miss Potts," Tony leered at her then turned to his companion, speaking loudly and directly into her ear. "She's my assistant."

The young woman giggled. "Awesome. What does she do?"

"That's a good question." Tony looked back at Pepper in a way that made her believe he was a bit more lucid than she first thought. Maybe his hunched body and slightly slurred speech was more of an act than reality. "What is it that you do for me Miss Potts?"

Pepper gave him the evilest look she could manage.

"Is she always so angry looking?" the blonde asked, petting her hair like a nervous twelve year old.

"Sometimes." Tony said quietly.

"Maybe it's that…you know time of the…"

Pepper could hear James snort as she squeezed her eyes shut and waved a hand to indicate the need for silence. "Please, please don't finish that statement."

Mimi looked Pepper up and down with mock concern. "Maybe you should go and eat some chocolate or something."

"Okay," Rhodes clapped his hands together, a smirk that made Pepper's stomach churn playing across his face, "I think…"

Tony pointed at his friend in an effort to silence him, but continued to stare at his assistant. Small strands of hair were sticking to the sweat on his forehead. "I asked Miss Potts a question. What do you do for me?"

Pepper cleared her throat. "I'm not having this conversation with her around."

"Who?"

"The surprisingly chatty tumor on your arm." Pepper didn't move her eyes from Tony's.

He pointed at his companion. "She has a name."

"Do you know it?"

"Kate." His attention swiveled back to the girl. "It's Kate, right?"

"It's Mimi. But you know what, that's cool, because this house is cool and you're cool." She poked his chest, her fake nail making a muffled clinking sound on the arc through his shirts, which made her laugh hysterically.

"See, she thinks I'm cool. And funny."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "That's because she's a moron, you moron."

"Look you bitch," Mimi took a teetering step forward and then threw up in a potted plant. "Ewww, not cool."

Rhodes gently took the woman by the arm. "I think it's about time I took Mimi home."

The young woman looked up at him. "Aww, but Tony said I could see his hot tub. He said it was big and hot, but I would like it."

Rhodes shot his friend a dirty look. "I'm sure he did."

"Doesn't matter, I didn't have a suit anyway." With a little coaxing and reassurance, James led her from the room, leaning past the door jamb to mouth 'call me' to Pepper.

Tony and Pepper stared at each other in stony silence for a full minute before Tony spoke up, taking off his tie. "Must you ruin all my fun?"

She was immediately indignant. "Do you really consider that fun?"

The grin on his face was almost lecherous and by no means sexy. "It might have been if you hadn't ruined it. Since when do you care? Maybe you should have more," he licked his chapped lips, "fun."

Pepper tried to remain unemotional. "Goodnight Mr. Stark. I'm sure you'd rather be playing your video game than talking to me."

Tony turned a bit pale but tried to act like nothing was wrong, tossing his tie onto a chair. "What video game?"

Pepper stalked over to the player and winged a disk at him. "How about this one?"

He inspected the disk. "What? So you're spying on me now? What did Jarvis tell you?" Tony pointed at the ceiling unsteadily. "Community college for you, my friend, no exceptions."

"Jarvis told me nothing. Maybe if you hadn't been tired and careless you wouldn't have left it in the machine."

Tony tossed the game near his tie. "Gee imagine that, a person leaving their possessions around in their own home. What a shock."

Pepper crossed her arms, finding it increasingly difficult to leave her emotions out of the tone of her voice. "Why are you playing that game?"

Tony put his hands in his pockets but his voice was defiant. "Because I want to. Because it's fun."

"You think," Pepper took a few steps toward him, the finger she pointed shaking, "that pretending to kill people is fun?"

"Did I say that?"

"Well, it's what people do when they play, isn't it?"

He took a step forward. "That is one of the top selling games around Miss Potts. If I'm some sort of monster for liking it then feel free to berate half of America as well."

"But it's different for you."

The hands jumped from his pockets into the air in frustration. "How? How is it different?"

"Gee I don't know Tony," Her eyes narrowed. "Maybe because you've actually killed people?"

Tony straightened. "That was in self defense."

They were very close to one another now, close enough to feel each other's body heat, but there was no intimacy. Pepper nodded her head toward the game. "So why do you play then?"

"Nothing more than a diversion."

"Bullshit."

"Why don't you enlighten me, Miss Potts? Huh. Break into my brain, since you seem to be so adept at investigation, and tell me what exactly it is then."

Pepper's own hands waved in the air. "I don't know what it is."

"Then why are you so angry?"

"It's just that…" Pepper looked into his eyes and noticed how big they were, almost straining with tension. She tried softening her voice, hoping reason would work. "You've been through a lot. No one would blame you for…"

"Yeah sure, blah blah blah. But that's over now."

"I don't think that it is."

Tony counted on his fingers. "I'm here, not in Afghanistan. The people who captured me are dead. And I've taken precautions to make sure nothing like that ever happens again. I think logically that it's over, yes?"

"No."

Tony snorted. "Oh come on, be rational."

"If it's so over then why do you keep playing that game which just makes you relive all that crap again and again?"

Tony broke eye contact, but stayed on message. "I don't need to explain what I like to you or anyone else."

Pepper had had just about enough. "Oh yes, the great untouchable Tony Stark that no one can hope to ever understand. Mislead yourself however you want, but that game does you no good."

"Says who? You?"

She wanted to reach out and shake him. "Yes!"

"What, you're the moral police now? That's rich!" Tony got right up in her face, but didn't touch her. "How are the renovations on your apartment coming?" Pepper flinched. "Ah ha, what a twisted web we…"

"What did James tell you?"

"Don't worry, your snuggle bunny didn't reveal any secrets."

"He's not…How did you…"

"I looked up your checking account online. At least I know my own birthday."

Now it was Pepper's turn to be indignant. "You looked at my personal bank statement! Where in the hell do you get off?"

He pulled her close to whisper in her ear, hands firmly on her hips, "If you were naked, I'd show you exactly how that works."

Without hesitation Pepper put both of her hands on Tony's chest and shoved as hard as she could. Her boss tumbled back to the floor roughly and began to laugh. Pepper stood, still shocked, as he sat on the ground with his elbows on his knees, whiping fake tears from his eyes.

"When I hired you and I saw that red hair I thought you were going to be a feisty one, and you don't disappoint."

"When I accepted this job I thought you were an asshole. Way to succeed, Mr. Stark."

"See, you make my point for me! Thank you!" He began to clap, the sounds echoing off the walls like shock waves.

Pepper stared at him as he stopped his applause. "I thought…"

"I don't pay you to think."

She ignored the comment. "I thought you had changed."

"Look at me. I'm fine."

Pepper shook her head. "No, you're not."

"Why did I have to change? What was wrong with me before?"

"It's…complicated."

"I'm fine," he repeated, as if saying it enough might change her mind. Pepper shook her head, so Tony continued. "What do you want me to say? 'Oh Miss Potts, I'm hurt, I'm hurt!'" He clutched the arc reactor buried next to his heart and lay prone on the carpet. "'Oh please Ms. Potts, save me, save me!'" Tony shook his head, propping himself up on an elbow, his face serious. "Are you delusional? I'm fine."

"I'm not."

"What does that matter to me?"

In a quiet voice she said, "I told you about my mother."

Tony's voice was dead. "And?"

Inside her chest, Pepper felt her heart shatter and splinter into her lungs, making breathing difficult. "I thought you had changed," she whispered.

Tony ran a hand through his greasy hair. "We all make mistakes."

"Some more than others."

"Excuse me? I think that I…"

"Shut up! I was talking about myself, you egotistical bastard!" She walked over to him so she was looming over his head. "This one time a reporter caught me when I was out shopping and asked me what I thought your best trait was. I told him that I admired your potential above all else. You once said you'd hired me for the same reason. But here we are Mr. Stark, with all this potential, and what happens? Nothing." Tony looked away from her. "I'm tired of making the same mistakes over and over. Aren't you?" It was all she could manage before leaving the room.

"Goodnight Miss Potts." Tony called and waved airily. No response. "Goodnight, Miss Potts." Nothing.

It was the first time they had parted ways at night and not wished each other well.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I'm going to kick his ass."

"James…"

"Oh no, I'm being literal here." His words were a bit garbled. "I'm going to kick his ass until he can open his mouth to shine my boot."

She sighed. "Well, somehow that might actually be an appropriate cap to tonight's events."

"True." Pepper stood on the balcony outside the guest bedroom she was staying in. The sea was in turmoil from high winds and strands of hair whipped across her face. She could hear Rhodes brushing his teeth on speaker phone. "I hope that you're packing your stuff to leave."

"Not exactly."

"Pepper…"

The sky was absent of stars, a blanket of pitch black clouds. "It's late and I'm tired. I'm not going anywhere tonight."

"And tomorrow?"

A crack of lightning on the horizon temporarily brightened the night sky. "Let's wait and see."

"I don't know how you can keep supporting his behavior."

Anger crept into her voice as Pepper gripped the railing tight. "I'm supporting his behavior? When exactly did I help him drink alcohol and talk to women tonight?"

"I'll admit that was a mistake."

"Damn right."

There was a pause as James spit and shut off the tap. "Do you think we, you know…enable him or something?"

The night was cool and Pepper rubbed her arm unconsciously trying to erase her goose bumps. "I think our names are pretty much in the dictionary."

"Why do we do it?" She could hear Rhodes sigh disappointedly. "How long can we keep this up?"

Pepper saw a raindrop splatter next to her finger. "I don't know, but I think I might be almost done."

"Why do you stay with him?"

There was a long pause as Pepper stood in the rain, feeling each chilled drop on her shoulders and head. "Why indeed."

"I'm sorry Pepper. That question was inappropriate."

"No no, it's alright to ask. I just don't have an answer, you know? I mean, why do you stay friends with him?"

There was a short pause. "Because when I need him to be, he's a good friend to me."

"And that's enough?"

Pepper could almost hear the shrug. "It used to be. Until tonight I never really considered if I was lowering my friendship standards or not by being his buddy."

"It shouldn't hurt this much to care about someone else."

"I know."

The rain was falling steadily now, the lightning dangerously close, and logically she knew she should be safe and away. But the storm was so beautiful, she couldn't help but watch. "One more day. I'll give trying to help him one more day, and then I'm done."

"All right. You know I'll support you no matter what."

"I know. Goodnight James."

"Goodnight."

Pepper stayed outside watching the clouds roll in and the sea boil, unconscious of how wet she'd become. She didn't cry, didn't want to. She cried when she felt angry or alone. But after tonight, Pepper only felt defeated. And tears didn't fix loss, a fact she knew intimately well. Only time. And time was running out.

Going inside Pepper dried off, cleaned up, and climbed into bed, switching on a lamp to read in hopes it would make her fall asleep faster. Almost immediately she felt an uncomfortable lump under her legs which she tugged at until her stuffed pony popped out from under the covers. Pepper stared at it, one hand gripping its body so its legs swung in the air. How was it, she considered, that Tony Stark could one night be so kind and buy her a thoughtful gift like this, and the next act like an careless jerk?

Pepper stared at the pony harshly, anger suddenly pumping through her system. "Why do you have to act like such an ass?" The stuffed animal didn't respond, but the stitching on his mouth did curve up a little like a smile. She flung it across the room, the pony's legs flailing until it softly smacked against the door to the bedroom and slid helplessly to the ground. And despite being a good person at heart, Pepper had to admit she liked hearing the animal's impact. It was almost a victory, and she could settle into bed to try to get to sleep a little better.

XXXXXXXXXX

After the fight, Tony got up from the floor immediately and got a drink, looking outside briefly to notice a storm was rolling in. Why hadn't he made a robot that made him drinks? It seemed only logical that he should have one. Yes, that was what he should do! So excited by this idea he almost fell down the stairs to his work room, its harsh overhead lights humming.

For a while he worked steadily, transitioning between diagramming at a computer and gathering pieces to put together. But every once in a while he'd glance up at the staircase. After the first few times Tony became concerned that there was something in his eye, but upon looking in a mirror he found nothing, and went back to work. Yet he still kept glancing up at his own reflection in the glass door over and over.

At four, when he stopped to finally strip down to his undershirt, the power went out with a great boom. In a brief moment of humanity Tony was frightened. But then there was a low blue light on the wall, one he'd never noticed before when he experiments had blown out the grid. He turned to see where the light was coming from, and it moved with him to the next wall. Tony walked forward, and the blue became more concentrated. The arc, he realized. "Jarvis."

"Back up systems will be on shortly."

"What happened?"

The lights and machines began to blink and return. "I believe we were struck by lightning."

"What are the chances of that?"

"Well, considering we live next to a very large body of water…"

"Enough."

"Yes sir."

Tony walked over to a mirror and pulled off his undershirt. The arc burned brightly, and he traced its edge with his finger. He'd grown used to its presence, no longer pausing when he buttoned a shirt and brushed the cool metal with a knuckle. It really was a marvel. And a miracle that Yinsen was able to create the electromagnet that came before this current version out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by thugs. The innate skill the man possessed, it was staggering. Tony pressed a palm over the covering, trying to understand how Yinsen had had the balls to even think of making enough room in his chest to put a soup can sized machine. He pressed down a little, feeling the cylinder tug a bit at his skin. Though it was highly improbable, Tony knew that if someone hit him hard enough in the middle of the arc, the device could come out through his back and sever his spine. He'd dreamed of this once, a giant hand hitting him in the chest, his heart stopping, paralyzed, a woman screaming.

Suddenly, Tony swore there was movement on the stair case, and he turned his head toward the door, but there was no one there on the sleek steps so meet his gaze.

He chuckled a bit to offset his unease, glancing over his tools to double check they were all still there from five minutes ago. Inspiration struck when he saw the hammer. Picking up the rough handle Tony returned to stand in front of the mirror again. With absolute precision he hit the arc dead center. Nothing. He swung several more times, each blow becoming harder and harder. But the arc didn't budge and all Tony could feel was some minor vibrations in his arms. The fine metal didn't even dent, a fact his fingers confirmed after every thump. Maybe as a younger man this fact would have made Tony's lip curl in a sneer and he would have inwardly complimented his own genius. Instead he simply swung the hammer down again, but the movement was too quick, and Tony caught his side with one of the hammer's hooks scratching himself badly.

The tool clattered to the floor and Tony hissed at the puffy line he felt on his side. As he moved his digits around a finger brushed the other scar on his side. His back straightened unconsciously, almost embarrassed that someone might see. Looking into the mirror he moved his hand away slowly, comparing the images before him. There was the arc, sleek and bright, a sign of innovation and promise. Then there was the shrapnel scar, a jagged trench on his side. Tony decided he liked the arc better, that it defined him best. And he believed that Pepper, in her great misunderstanding of what made him work, probably believed the exact opposite.

Pepper. He was proud that this was the first time he'd thought of her since coming downstairs. But then something occurred to Tony. It had been her. He'd been looking for her on the stairs. She'd always come in the past, feet steady, eyes trained inside the work studio, searching him out. Pepper always eventually came down, relented to whatever bad behavior he participated in, and talked to him, preferably with a coffee in her hand. But tonight there was no clack of heels, no hot cup, no soft look and short bantering conversation that always seemed to put a band aid over their issues. Tony wasn't sure if he was angry or curious that she hadn't come to him and certainly he couldn't admit that he liked it when he could look up and see Pepper's slender fingers punching in a rote code. He liked the balance of their relationship in this interaction. Not so much that it made Pepper seem subservient or that she 'knew her place.' More that it meant that at least one person in this world showed up without the need for something in return.

For a second Tony thought that this was rather selfish on his part, but then decided that she wouldn't come unless she wanted to.

Which still left the question of why, hours later, there was no flash of red hair out of the corner of his eye to make his heart leap a little.

Tony pulled on a t-shirt he'd left lying around and shuffled up into the house. He paused outside Pepper's bedroom, fingering the hem of his shirt, listening. "Pepper?" No response but the steady drum of rain on his roof. As quietly as he could Tony opened the door. A bedside lamp was turned on and he could see Pepper sound asleep under the covers, an open book near her side. Tony took a step into the room and felt his foot slip on something, and looked down to discover the stuffed pony he'd given Pepper. He picked it up tenderly and looked it in its unblinking eye. A good gift, he decided.

Tucking the animal under his arm Tony went and knelt next to Pepper's side, preparing himself to see that she had cried, ashamed that making her cry somehow satisfied him. He examined her closely, stomach clenched, expecting to find her curled around a pillow, appearance twisted from emotion. But Pepper's cheeks were unblemished from tears. Tony supposed that it had been a while since they had parted, and she could have composed herself. But closer examination let him see that she had taken the time to wash off her make-up. If she were truly so upset to collapse into bed, she would not have taken the time stand in the bathroom with soap and water. Her cheeks were spotted with freckles, a quirky thing he'd commented about once.

It had been a hot day out in the sun early in their boss/assistant partnership. "Miss Potts, you have freckles."

She'd smiled softly. "How observant of you, Mr. Stark."

He'd wanted to say that they were nice, but instead blurted, "I thought only kids had those."

She'd covered them with make-up around him ever since.

He looked at Pepper. She wasn't tossing and turning, more shifting uncomfortably, eyebrows knitted together.

He'd never thought about the fact that she had nightmares too, but he couldn't even admit to himself that he was having his own nightmares. Immediately he stuck a hand out to wake her, but stopped to hover it above her shoulder. Instead, Tony gently placed the pony near Pepper's arms. She instinctively tucked the soft animal to her body and her turning stopped, bridging into a peaceful sleep. Tony shut off the table lamp and sat on the floor, facing away from Pepper so his back rested against the bed. Why would the pony calm her down? She wasn't a child, didn't need a stuffed animal to fight away the demons. In fact, Tony couldn't recall ever having his own comfort object, even when he was little. But he did have this one memory…

He was young, maybe six, flying at night with his parents. There was a big storm around them and he remembered being frightened. Suddenly a cool hand was in his hair and his mother pulled him close to her side, though he couldn't see her face. "It's okay to be scared of the storm, Anthony."

He looked out the small widow to see another strike. "I'm not scared. It's just some dumb clouds and precipitation. That's what you and Dad said."

His mother laughed. "Sure, sure it's those things, and I'm so proud that you know that. But storms, they're more then that too. Storms are elemental and large. We can't control them and we can't make them go away. I think it's alright to be scared of them."

"Someday, I'll build something to control the storms. So no one will be scared."

"Machines can't fix everything." His mother hugged him closer. "You can't stop people from being scared."

Little Tony closed his eyes, tired. "I can try."

"My beautiful boy," her voice faded, "the storm warrior."

Another lightning bolt ripped through the sky and window rattling thunder followed. "I'm not afraid." He didn't mean to say it out loud, the words escaping like a promise or prayer. And deep within himself Tony felt the need to prove to everyone that he wasn't. He stood and looked down at Pepper in the darkness, her features familiar in his mind, and said quietly, "I'm not afraid. You'll see."

The rest of the night, through till the morning light eradicated the storm, Tony worked on the suit, as if the world beyond the lab failed to exist. He looked on happily to see the armor shine.

By eight or so Tony settled into playing his video game in the basement, far from judgmental eyes. The phone rang, and he waited patiently for Pepper to pick up. After the tenth annoying ring Tony paused the game and made Jarvis connect him through. "Mr. Stark?"

"Yes."

"Good morning. This is Major Nelson over at the Air Force."

"What can I do for you?"

"I know this is short notice, but I was wondering if you would want to do some training exercises with some troops today."

Tony looked back at the game on his computer screen. He was about to blow up another convoy, but, he realized with little satisfaction, that his game had become boring. Tony turned and smiled at the Ironman suit. "Tell me more, Major."