It had taken a while for Sam and Rhodey to calm Wanda down, both men startled when Clint ushered her into the kitchen.
The story behind Wanda's injury was even more appalling.
"Wait, so, tell me again?" Sam said for the millionth time as he helped Wanda slip her arms into a matching set of slings. The Ace bandages were wrapped snug around her hands, careful not to damage her bones anymore than they already were. A sheen of sweat broke out on her skin, Clint rubbing her back as he cleared his throat to explain once more.
"There were some intruders," he coughed, "Some guy with his pet raccoon-"
"I resent that, asshole!"
The four of them turned to see Thor and Natasha hauling in said man and animal, both of which didn't look too happy about being manhandled. The raccoon was snarling angrily, claws swiping at the air as he made an attempt to break free.
"Hey!" the man shouted at him, "You got knocked out!"
"So?!" the animal sneered, "I ain't takin' lightly to no jarheads! Put me down or so help me-!"
Rhodey blinked, exchanging an uneasy look with Sam. There was no way an animal was talking. They watched as Thor held it gingerly by the scruff of its neck, an orange jumpsuit dangling on its skinny frame. A bushy tail poked out of the back, wagging left and right.
"Please tell me I'm dreaming," Sam deadpanned.
"Dude, if you're knocked out you have no say, so shut up already!" the man shouted back at his companion, jerking his arm away from Natasha, who had a stern glare on her face. Straightening out his leather jacket, the man turned to her, "And if you were not a hot lady I so would punch you in the gut right now! This is expensive leather right here!" Natasha rolled her eyes, sashaying over to the counter where a plate of cookies sat. Picking one up, she sniffed it before taking a bite, chocolate chips and flakes of baked dough spewing crumbs everywhere.
"Asshole," Wanda cursed under her breath, receiving a look of shock from everyone else. Furrowing her brow, she asked innocently, "What?"
"Asshole is right!" the animal yelled at his friend, "You should learn to listen once in a while!"
"Drax was the one who broke her hands, not me!" he shot back.
Drax? Sam thought. It sounded like something from a comic book or a video game. Then again, with his job he basically worked as a comic book, little kids reading about the adventures of The Avengers and such in newspaper clippings and magazines. It unnerved him a little to be put in the same boat as someone named Drax, of all things.
"So, this Drax guy is basically the Hulk?" Rhodey chimed in, catching the man's attention.
"Are we talking Ed Norton Hulk or Mark Ruffalo Hulk because those are two very different things, my friend," Peter pondered, licking his lips. Sam rubbed his temples.
This was so not happening.
As if to add to the mess, the door banged open and in walked a woman- a green-skinned woman at that- looking angrier than Nick Fury without his morning coffee. And that was pretty scary. Before anyone could say anything, she withdrew a gun and held it out in front of her, waving it at each individual.
"Release my friends at once!" she demanded, throwing back her shoulders to exude an air of confidence.
"Looks like Hulk has a hot date, huh?" Rhodey whispered in Sam's ear, trying to suppress his laughter. He was immediately silenced from her glare.
"Gamora!" the man cried happily, his eyes lit up like a child opening presents at Christmas, "You came to save us! Yes!" The woman- Gamora- rolled her eyes at him.
"Star-Lord, you idiot!" she snapped at him, her skin turning a darker shade of green with anger, "I only came to get you because Drax is impatient when kept waiting!"
Sam noticed Natasha cock her head in confusion, a gleam of recognition in her eyes. Cautiously, she ran her fingers along her gun, approaching Gamora with wary.
"Did you say Star-Lord?" she asked. Gamora raised an eyebrow at her.
"That is his name, no?" she replied, "aside from Quill? What do you call it- secret identity?"
Once the name was said, it clicked. Turning ferociously, Natasha pulled her gun free from its holster, pointing it at Quill. In return, he raised his hands in defense, eyes widening as he grimaced.
"Okay why does everyone want to shoot me?!" he asked, his voice cracking. Natasha jutted her chin at him.
"State your business," she demanded coldly. The intruder looked at her with bewilderment. What did he do to cause such a mess?!
"What the fuck is wrong with you people?!" Star-Lord- Sam swore that was not his actual codename- whined, "I just came back to Terra because I found some of your shit in my galaxy! Like c' mon!" He was greeted by silence from all parties, Natasha lowering her weapon. Sam watched the scene lay out before him- never had he seen her lower a gun while on defense. Even in battle, if the opposing force was calm and polite, she kept an eye on them. She was a tough cookie and everyone knew it.
But to have this stranger make her do something like that? Surrender with the snap of his fingers? He couldn't believe he was witnessing it. It wasn't like the guy was important, right? He felt James nudge him, jutting his chin at the one called "Star-Lord."
"Dude, he say his name was Quill or something like that?" James asked. Sam shrugged. It's what the green girl had called him. He told him so.
"I remember reading something about him from an old newspaper," Rhodey explained, "way back from the eighties or seventies or something."
"Seventies?" Sam crinkled his nose, "Dude, this is the twenty-first century, there's no way he would be that young-"
"Living in space for most of your life does wonders, believe it or not," Quill interjected, receiving a slap upside the head from Gamora, "OW! What was that for?!"
"For being an asshole!" the raccoon decided it was its turn to chime into the conversation, and Sam noticed out of the corner of his eye Wanda smirking at them, shaking her head as she tried suppressing chuckles. He heard them rumble from deep in her throat, her shoulders jerking with each sound.
"Ignore Rocket," Gamora said to Natasha, "They are all idiots. All of them."
"I can see that," Natasha agreed blatantly, chewing on her bottom lip. Running a hand through her red hair, she sighed, widening her stance, "So, Lord Of The Flies-"
"Star-Lord! Get it right!" Peter complained, but Natasha ignored him.
"-what did you find in space? Satellite debris?" she teased, a smirk dancing on her lips, "You know, it isn't uncommon to find pieces of it here and there in the cosmos."
"Listen, if you just put the gun down we can talk this out," Quill requested, his voice barely a squeak as Natasha tipped the barrel against his throat.
"And if I don't like what you have to say?" Natasha suggested, "I guess we'll have all of you torn apart by Banner, lest he get angry." There was a pause before she added low and sultry, "And you won't like him when he's angry."
Gamora crossed her arms, and Sam watched as she paced back and forth. Out of everyone, she seemed to be the most levelheaded, but considering that she was an alien, she wouldn't understand how humans did things. Did hanging around Peter help? Sam wasn't sure, and he might not want to know. Thankfully though, she no longer had her gun raised, cross in her arms impatiently.
"What was it that you found?" Wanda piped up, surprising everyone. If they were being honest, they had forgotten that she was there, eyeing everyone with such fierce intensity it could rival a lion's.
"In space?" Peter clarified. The witch nodded, and Peter cleared his throat, "Well, we were driven the ship out of Knowhere-"
"As in your ship just appeared?" Sam was trying to make sense of the whole situation. Peter rolled his eyes, scowling as he shot back, "No. AS in the planet Knowhere. Really, you guys need to update your solar system or something-"
"What did you find?" Natasha bore down on him, narrowing her eyes. A chill hung in the air as he cleared his throat, brushing non-existent dirt off his long leather coat.
"Right, well," he said meekly, "We may or may not ave heard of the little battle you guys had in Sacagawea or something-"
"Sokovia." Everyone turned to see Wanda glaring just as angrily, leaning back in her chair. Peter nodded, "Right, Sokovia. Well, we may or may not have been on the run from Yondu and his goons, and then we found some weird head made out of bluetooth pieces or something-"
"A head?" Rhodey cried out, "What the hell is someone's head doing in space? Thor? Did you have anything to do with it?" The god of thunder was silent, raising his hands defensively. Mljolnir hung limply from his wrist, the leather strap pushing back the red of his sleeve.
"Anyway," Peter groaned, "we found the head and since we heard it came from you guys we thought we'd bring it back before Rocket turned it into who knows what!"
"I needed that, Quill! Goddamnit!"
"Oh, shut up before I skin you for dinner!"
"Not before I claw out your eyes, yah sneaky bastard-!"
A slam caught there attention, ceasing their squabble. Gamora (that was her name, right?) had slammed her gun into the wall, creating a perfectly round, if not large, hole in the plaster. Dust settled in the air as she removed her fist, shaking off the material from her knuckles.
"Tony is going to so have a fit!" Sam heard Clint squeak, the man quieting when Gamora shot a gaze towards him.
"If you want the head, it's on our ship," the green-skinned woman offered, "Now that we have that settled, where can I get some food? I'm starving!"