It was one thing after another. My life was never boring before but this was taking the biscuit. I hadn't experienced this much drama, ever. In a few months, more has ever happened to me than I expected.

Had I done something wrong? I pondered as I lay on my bed, staring at the cracks on my ceiling. Becki was flirting, I was just going along with it a bit. We hadn't kissed or anything. Where was the harm? I had to work through this before I going to see Olivia, or did I? I was certain that I had done nothing wrong.

Let's jump in the deep end. I got up, then started walking towards Olivia's dorm. It had been about two hours since the incident, was I too late? Or maybe to early? Should I let her be? God, why was this so complicated. I didn't care anymore. I got to her door and knocked, placing my hand on the peep hole. I heard feet shuffle towards the door, then it opened slowly.

Olivia was still wearing her clothes from last night. I couldn't read her expression, but I was pleased that I didn't see any remnants of tears. Or was it bad that she wasn't crying?

"Nothing happened between Becki and I." I launched right in, stepped around her before she had the chance to slam the door in my face, then paced her room. "It was harmless flirting, then she got a little too comfortable when she put her arms around me. I wasn't going to do anything. Even if Duke hadn't barged in, nothing would have happened. I'm sorry for the flirting, that wasn't cool - at all - but it won't ever happen again. I'll tell her firmly but nicely to 'fuck off' if it happens again. I'm sorry."

I took a breath, stopped and looked Olivia.

"I loved it when you held me last night." She whispered, I frowned at the change of subject but then smiled at the memory.

"I loved holding you."

"The game is this weekend isn't it?" Olivia asked, I nodded. "Then you're gone."

I didn't know what to say to that.

"I don't care about Becki," Olivia asserted halfheartedly, "That's overstating. I care that you think it's ok to behave that way with another girl when you claim your into me."

I tried to argue but Olivia held up her hand and the words died on my lips by the serious look on her face.

"I don't want to argue, I'm sick of arguing with you." Shaking her head, she sat down her bed. "It's like being on rollercoaster when I'm with you, we're happy and then your lies and deception sink us back down. I'm tired Viola. How could we possibly have a healthy relationship with our beginnings? It's impossible."

She paused.

"I'm just glad your leaving soon, the rollercoaster ride will finally end and I can stop feeling nauseous. Everything will be back to normal." Olivia let out a humourless laugh. "Well after the uproar your going to cause when you reveal who you really are. People will think I'm idiot, but I'll get over it. It'll settle down."

She looked at me now, with a sad smile on her face.

"I guess this is goodbye."

My emotions were all over the place; I was angry and upset at the same time - not a good combination. I took a breath to control myself.

"Nothing's impossible. We were entirely possible. That scares you. I can understand that."

Olivia attempted to interrupt, but I shook my head, "You've had your say, let me have mine."

I sat down opposite her by her desk, so she had no choice but to look at me.

"Don't you think I was scared when I realised my feelings for you? I was terrified. Yet, I couldn't stay away from you." I said, Olivia had tears in her eyes. "It will go back to normal, but you were never happy when it was normal before. What's so good about normal? Fuck being normal! What we could have is extraordinary. Yes, our beginnings we're a unethical and bumpy but despite all that bullshit, when you simply strip that away, it's just us. We still have our fire, my feelings blaze for you and I know you feel the same way. Running away is easier though."

"I'm not running away." Olivia said weakly, her tears falling.

I ignored the words and tears.

"I came here to apologise about the Becki incident because I was scared that you would be angry with me. I didn't expect this." I sighed, standing up. "After I was done here at Illyria, I was going to suggest that we stay in contact, perhaps go on a date, as myself - not Sebastian. What you've just told me suggests you want anything but that, so we're not going to fight for what this may be, which is completely unlike me and you. Yes, well, I guess this goodbye."

I stepped towards Olivia, bending down and placing a soft kiss on her tear stained cheek. Then I walked out. Once outside, I realised that I had my own tears in my eyes.