I'm so glad you like this fic, your comments always make me smile.
Amanda wanted nothing more than to get out of the bar and be alone with Nick, she nodded and he kissed her cheek, caressing the other one with his fingers. Amanda closed her eyes again, it felt so good to be next to him, to be touched by him.
He leaned his forehead against hers "come on" his voice was low and he kissed her lips again.
Amanda got off of the stool feeling a little lightheaded, she only had one drink so it definitely wasn't the alcohol's doing, it was the way Nick made her feel. She allowed herself to get lost in that, ignore everything that's been keeping them apart - the miles – they were mere inches now, and when her lips touched his – there was no distance at all.
Nick entwined his fingers with hers and they walked outside, greeted by the evening air. He didn't let her go and she moved closer to him as they walked towards the car. He smiled at her before taking the driver's seat. But he didn't turn the engine on, he needed to kiss her first, taste her. Nick pulled her into him, kissing her with urgency and desperation, like she might disappear into thin air if he lets her go. Amanda pushed him backwards so his body was pressed against the seat, his fingers entangled in her hair, ruffling it up. He had to let her go when his lungs were screaming for oxygen, she was breathing heavily too but in between inhaling and exhaling she managed to tell him to start the car.
The drive seemed to last forever and the glances they kept throwing at each over did nothing to help, causing Nick to almost miss the turn to his street.
"This is it" he parked the car and she looked at the small house "it's pretty old and a little far, but I don't think it's such a bad thing"
"It looks nice" she smiled.
"Come on" Nick opened the car's door and waited for her to walk towards him so he could put his hand on the small of her back as he guided her inside the house.
Nick found the light switch and the room lit up, revealing a decent sized kitchen and a nice living room.
"It's not very big but it's enough, the kids don't sleep here too often so their room is probably the tidiest"
"I'm sure you could eat from the floor in every room" she smirked "I know you"
"I'm not gonna make you do that" he moved closer to her "you want anything?"
Amanda shook her head, she wasn't hungry any longer, but her throat was dry "maybe something to drink?"
Nick walked to the kitchen and opened his fridge "I have orange juice" he looked up at her, leaving the door open "or water"
"What, no Explosivo?" she made a disgusted face and walked to him, glancing inside the fridge. There were still two cans back at the SVU squad room, somewhere in the back of the fridge. It was silly but Amanda couldn't bring herself to get rid of them, as if she kept them there for him. Like one day he'd walk to the fridge and grab one, as if he had never left.
"I can't believe Nick Amaro doesn't have his signature drink" she exclaimed "or are you just out?"
"For your information" he took out the juice and closed the door "I don't drink that stuff anymore" he poured her a glass, ignoring the doubtful look on her face "I get enough sleep so I don't need it to keep me up"
"Unfortunately I still drink a lot of coffee" she admitted and took a couple of sips.
"Not much has changed then" he grinned.
Actually there was a big change, but Amanda didn't want to ruin the moment, she wanted to keep staring into these playful eyes of his. He was so serious most of the time that it was easy to forget this joyful and daring expression of his. When he was away from work and allowed himself to calm down, that Nick had such an influence on her, it was actually almost like coffee, only much, much better. He woke her up, as if something was spreading in her blood system, in her nerves. That smile and her brain would send a signal to every part of her body that something was going on, from her head to her toes, she was alert.
Amanda licked her lower lip, tasting the remains of the juice but really wanting to taste his lips again, what was she waiting for?
Nick recognized her expression, the twinkle in her eyes, it sent shivers down his spine and god, how he wanted to touch hers, feel her arch her back, see her eyes shut because she couldn't control them.
They were inches apart, eyes glued on each other, trying to vanish the little thoughts about how wrong this could be, about how she was returning to New York tomorrow, how…
They both managed to silence the nagging voices and allowed their lips to connect. It was like a jolt of electricity but they didn't pull away, she let him take control and welcomed his tongue, enjoying the sensation. Her whole body was on fire when Nick's hands joined in, pulling her to him and traveling down her back. Amanda was unaware of her actions, she wasn't sure whether her hands were on the nape of his neck, on his back or on his hips. The feeling of Nick's mouth, tongue, arms on her was incredible and she didn't care about anything else.
Somehow he'd managed to pull her even closer, pressing her body against his. They cursed the need to breath but didn't delve much on it as their lips met again, this time with more force and passion. Nick's hands moved lower until he reached her butt so he could pick her up. Amanda responded by wrapping her legs around him and he moved towards the bedroom, trying very hard not to bump into anything and not to part from her sweet mouth for too long.
He turned on the light in the bedroom which forced him to remove his left hand from her body and Amanda clung tighter to his neck.
Nick lowered her to the bed and let his eyes move up and down her form. Seeing her in his bedroom reminded him how much he's been missing her, the better times they'd shared. It wasn't just the sex, it was being close to her, knowing he could talk to her and that she would offer solace by just being there. He hated how it had been ruined, how a few bad decisions ended up with them being in a perpetual state of limbo, wanting so much to return to what once was, but how could they – when neither knew exactly what it had been or how to get there.
She looked so beautiful, staring at him with flushed cheeks, messy hair, lips curved into a sexy smile. Every last bit of hesitation was erased by this smile, they were both adults, they weren't breaking any rules. They were no longer Rollins and Amaro – they were Amanda and Nick, two people who wanted this, even if this was just for now.
He sat down next to her and kissed her again, softer this time, wanting to make it last. But Amanda parted from his lips "it works better with our clothes off" she hissed.
"Yeah? I must have forgotten" he captured her lips again for a quick kiss "I'll let you remind me" with his body he pushed her down on the bed and his lips traveled to her neck, while his fingers moved to her blouse, working on the buttons.
When their little affair started all that time ago, they were almost fighting for control, each wanted to be in charge, to set the pace. But right now Amanda couldn't care less about that, she happily let Nick take the reins. She closed her eyes, letting her hands fall on the bed. The slow movement felt so good she wasn't going to prod him to hurry up even though she wanted more.
Nick could feel her chest heaving under his mouth and fingers, he was half way done with the buttons, struggling a bit with a few of them, the taste of her skin was distracting. But he made it to the last one and focused his attention on her belly button, eliciting a soft giggle from her.
"Nick" she muttered and he moved lower, unzipping her pants and pulling them down slowly, caressing her smooth legs. She still had her shoes on and he sat down on the floor next to her to take them off and rid her of the pants completely. Once her legs were bare Nick worked on his shoes giving Amanda time to sit up and realize he was completely dressed. She removed her blouse, throwing it on the floor and got off the bed so she could straddle him, capturing his lips with her own. Nick reached behind her and unhooked her bra, removing it quickly. She let go of his mouth and he raised his arms to help her take off his shirt. She smiled looking at his chest, he was clearly still going to the gym. Amanda ran her hands up and down the bare skin, feeling his strong muscles under her palms. She let her mouth connect with his neck while her fingers moved between them to his belt.
Nick really wanted to move this back to the bed but he wasn't sure he could stand up with her mouth and hands all over him. Her need to remove his pants ended up solving the dilemma when she moved a little to pull them down. She struggled a little and removed her hands from the fly.
"You said something about no clothes, right?" he said playfully unzipping and taking his pants off, standing up once he was freed of them "come here" he extended a hand to pull her up.
They stood in front of each other with goofy grins on their faces "I don't mind standing here staring at you" she leaned into him "but what I really want…" instead of finishing the sentence she let her hand sneak into his boxers rubbing against him and using her other hand to take them off. Nick helped her out with the task and once he was completely naked her hand was on him again.
Nick was so aroused everything seemed fuzzy, but he got the hint and pushed her down on the bed, moving on top of her. He knew what she craved for but decided she'd have to be patient a little while longer. She let out a frustrated groan when his mouth once again slowly worked its way down her body, stopping to tease her breasts using his fingers and lips.
She pulled him up to her mouth and turned them around, not wanting to wait anymore. She gave him a peck and removed her underwear before getting on top of him.
He thought she looked so beautiful straddling him his heart skipped a beat, or maybe it was the fact she guided him inside of her, letting a deep sigh escape her lips. She leaned forward and kissed him, moving slowly up and down. It was Nick's turn to switch positions and she didn't protest, panting as he thrust harder into her. The sound drove Nick crazy and he almost lost control, lust has taken over him completely. He was pretty sure there was nothing but the two of them in the entire universe and he couldn't care less, he wanted them to stay like this, their bodies connected, pleasure running through them.
"Amanda…" he murmured, not sure what he wanted to say, not sure what he was feeling. He just had to call her name.
Amanda wasn't thinking straight herself, he was moving faster and she was on the brink of ecstasy "you feel so good Nick" she mumbled, barely able to breathe "don't stop"
He wasn't going to, at this point his body was in charge and he knew he wouldn't last much longer, being inside of her, her legs wrapped around him, her fingers digging into his back, it was too incredible. Her body convulsed underneath him and Nick pushed himself into her with every last bit of force he had left, bringing them both to a climax.
He rolled off her after what could have been a minute or an hour, his mind went blank after the orgasm and he couldn't tell, it took him a moment to remember his own name. Nick was on his back, waiting for the room to stop spinning, he had one hand resting on Amanda's abdomen, moving up and down as she breathed heavily.
He tried to decide whether mind blowing was the right description, but mind blowing didn't even begin to describe whatever just occurred between them. She placed her palm over his and he turned to her, finally regaining control of his body.
He caressed her cheek and moved a few stray strands of hair away from her face, her eyes were closed but she smiled when his fingers grazed her skin.
"Mmmm…" she mumbled "I'm…so..."
He waited for her to continue but she turned her head a little and remained silent. Nick chuckled a few seconds later, realizing she has fallen asleep. It has been a long day for her and Nick liked the fact he helped her end it on a high note. He covered Amanda with the blanket and softly kissed her forehead, not wanting to wake her up but needing to touch her skin again. Nick rested his head on the pillow and looked at her face, her features were so soft, relaxed. She looked like she belonged there, like this bed belonged to her too, like this was their bedroom. He wanted it to be.
He closed his eyes, hoping sleep will ease this craving.
Amanda stretched a little in the bed, rubbing her eyes before letting them flutter open. Nick was asleep next to her and she smiled remembering the previous night. She always liked waking up next to him, even though he was usually the first to get up so she rarely got the opportunity to see him like this.
She felt well rested, Nick's bed was comfortable, or maybe it was the fact he was there. She banished the thought of waking up next to him again, she was returning to New York later today and he was staying in California. He had a good life here, he was close to his kids, where he belonged.
When she kissed him at the bar she knew it would only be one night. She couldn't waste time thinking about missing him, she could do that when she's back home, right now they were next to each other. Amanda moved closer to him, he was lying perfectly still on his back and she pressed her lips to his shoulder. She was about to get up when he stirred and opened his eyes.
"Hey" he said softly and smiled at her.
"I Didn't mean to wake you up" she said and rested her head back on the bed, looking at him.
He turned to check the small clock on the bedside table "it's five a.m." he let her know, but decided not to add anything about the time difference, they could pretend New York wasn't real for a while longer.
"You look good" she said after a few seconds of lying in front of each other quietly.
"Are you calling me handsome?" he raised his brows.
"No" she sounded absolutely serious.
"No?" he acted insulted.
"That's not what I'm talking about" she chuckled "I'm saying that you look happy, here I mean"
Nick didn't respond, yes, he was happy in Los Angeles but he could be happier. He was feeling pretty good now, with her next to him.
"You want to go back to sleep?" he asked but she shook her head.
"If I'm already up maybe it's best if I get ready, I have a long day ahead"
They had to make the best of the time they had left together and Nick wasn't ready to say goodbye yet "how about breakfast then? I'll make you something" he offered.
"Is that another one of your new hobbies?" he shrugged slightly "you don't mind if I take a shower first, right?" her lips curved into a devilish grin "you can join me if you want, I'll need a tour of the shower anyway…"
He wasn't going to decline "only if you promise no to fall asleep afterwards" he winked and she blushed a little.
"So should I expect something really fancy?" Amanda was leaning against one of the kitchen counters, she was already dressed, her hair up in a pony tale, still damp from their very pleasant shower.
"Don't get overly excited" he warned, taking out eggs and vegetables from the fridge "you get an omelet"
"That's still better than what I'd have at home" she shrugged.
Nick smiled to himself thinking about Amanda's terrible breakfast habits "make yourself useful" he handed her a cutting board "you might learn something"
"Very funny" she took out a knife and grabbed a tomato "is this how you treat all of your guests? Make them help you out in the kitchen?"
"I'm a terrible host" he placed a pan on the stove and glanced at her, he couldn't keep away the thought of how right this scene was, spending the morning together, making breakfast. But they both knew this was a one night thing and the night was over, so why pretend this was going to last?
"You need me to drive you back to the hotel later?" he kept his attention on the pan, watching the eggs coagulate.
"I'm not going back there right now, first I need to rent a car and drive to the prison" she finished cutting the vegetables.
"So why the delay?" he asked "I thought you were supposed to talk to your witness yesterday"
"On the way there we got a call from the captain, she was stabbed" he gave her a questioning look "I don't know what's going on, something doesn't feel right"
"Someone being stubbed is never a good sign" Nick took out two plates for them.
"And with the timing…makes me wonder if it has anything to do with our case…"
"SVU cases are never simple" he placed the food on the plates and handed her one, following her to the table "always complicated and messy"
"Yeah" she nodded, grabbing a fork.
"The most dramatic thing that happened to me at work was being in charge of the fire drill" he smiled at her "it went very well"
"So now all those people will know what to do if that happens" she said "they are lucky to have you"
He shrugged "it's a good place, my boss doesn't want to get rid of me so that's an improvement…"
Amanda took another bite of the food, there was something she had to tell him about work, she didn't want him to hear it from someone else and last night…last night she wanted something else to happen.
"Nick" she placed the fork on the plate after it was empty.
"The omelet's wasn't that bad, right?" he asked.
"No, it was really good" she nodded "I have to tell you something…it has something to do with the department…" she bit her lower lip. It wasn't bad news, why was she nervous about telling him?
"What is it?"
"I…took your advice" Amanda started and he wasn't sure what she was referring to "I took the sergeant exam"
"You took the exam?" he repeated.
"Well…I passed it"
Nick wasn't sure what to say, she was reluctant to take it when he mentioned it to her "congratulations, I'm not surprised you passed…you'll be great at it" he was about to get up "what changed your mind?"
"I realized I do want to get ahead, change things, so…I took it, I got the results just a few days ago…"
"That's great" he got up "it's the NYPD's gain"
She wondered if he was upset hearing about it and followed him to the sink with the plates. She placed them on the counter and waited for him to react.
Nick turned to her with a genuine smile on his face "I'm really happy for you, you deserve this" he surprised her with a hug.
"Thank you" she wrapped her arms around him, tightening her hold.
He was truly happy for her, Amanda was a good detective and there was no reason for her not to move up the ranks…in New York. Last night was all they were going to get. Nick rested his head on her shoulder, breathing her in as if that would keep a part of her with him.
After she told him about the exam he washed the dishes and showed her the rest of the house. The other bedroom was Gil and Zara's and there was a small backyard.
"Where are the power tools? For the renovations you mentioned yesterday?"
"I mostly meant paint jobs" he confessed.
"So no chainsaw then?" she raised her brow mockingly.
"I have a drill, but it's only for hanging things on the walls" he smiled at her. It was the last stop on the tour which meant it was time for her to leave.
Nick parked close to the rental car agency "so this is it" he took a deep breath.
"Listen Nick, last night…"
He didn't let her finish "last night was…we don't have to talk about it" even though I hate the fact you're leaving he kept that part to himself.
"Alright then…goodbye" she smiled and opened the car's door.
"Amanda" she turned to him "let me know how the investigation goes, ok?" I want to hear from you soon he didn't say that to her too.
"I will" she nodded and kissed his cheek before stepping out of the car.
Nick followed her with his eyes as she walked inside, a part of him wanted to run after her, but what would he say? She was flying away in a few hours and they'd be back to talking on the phone once in a while, at least he had the memory of the previous night.
The drive to the prison took a long time, not only because of the distance and traffic. She was alone with her thoughts and they revolved around Nick, the connection they shared. It was useless to deny there's been something between them for a long time, even before they acted upon it, even after things got complicated.
When she told him to move to California to be with his kids, it came out of nowhere and he was surprised by her suggesting it. Amanda avoided him for a few days after that but decided she had to clear the air, Benson had a little get together to celebrate the adoption and the last thing Amanda wanted was for things between her and Nick be awkward in front of everyone, not again.
He opened the door and smiled at her "you came to kick me all the way to California?"
"I Don't think I'm strong enough for that" she walked inside "but I do owe you an apology, I shouldn't have said it just like that"
"It was a little confusing" he nodded and made his way to the couch "what happened?"
"I didn't tell you this, but the day I drove Gil from the hospital" she sat next to him "he was so scared about losing you and I know he's not talking about it, he's so much like you, keeps things inside… but he needs you, and you need him, and Zara" she regretted not practicing this little speech.
"What did he say?" Ever since the shooting he's been concerned about his son and wanted to know exactly what he told Amanda that made her tell him to move.
"That he's afraid of something happening to you, that he wouldn't get a chance to say goodbye…he just started crying, he was really afraid of that, he knows the job's dangerous"
"Thanks for telling me, but he doesn't have to worry about that anymore" Nick's voice was a tad bitter.
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the fact that I'm not staying in the NYPD, they are not…interested in my services" he shrugged "my delegate told me that they are going to use my knee as an excuse, and you were right, what do I have here?" he didn't mean it as a rhetorical question, he wanted her to answer, to tell him if there was anything there for him. If she was there for him.
But Nick knew she would never admit it, and even if she did, she'd never want him to choose her over his kids.
"So I'm going to retire" he continued when she didn't reply "start over in California, it's not how I expected things to go but…you know what they say about plans"
"Nick, I'm sorry" she felt bad for him being passed over for a promotion, but now he was being let go all together.
"Me too, after all the years in the force…but I brought it on myself. I messed things up, specially these last years"
"The last couple of years weren't easy for any of us"
"Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I would have never transferred to SVU" he had a bright future then, now he had no idea where he was heading, except for the general direction - west.
"I get it" Nick knew she's been through a lot too, if anyone could understand it was her. Amanda asked herself the same question more than once, she thought things would be better in New York before she left Atlanta and yeah, sometimes they were but too frequently that wasn't the case.
"I'm sure things will work out for you in California, sometimes a fresh start is exactly what you need"
"Yeah" he nodded half heartedly, not sure if he believed that "I'm gonna stay here for a while to continue the physiotherapy and then…"
"You'll be gone" she said almost to herself. Leaving may have been the right thing for him but she never wanted it to be like that, with him being forced out, making him feel like he'd failed.
She wasn't sure what else to say, and truth was she wanted to get out of his house. There was an ache in her heart and sitting there by Nick just made it worse.
Nick's phone buzzed and he had to answer, it was his delegate. Amanda took that as her cue to leave and promised to come by and pick him up the next day.
She walked out of the door feeling numb. He deserved better and she hoped he would get that in California. But even though she brought up the idea, even though she thought it was the right thing to do, it still hurt.
Amanda parked the car and walked to the security guard. She took out her badge and ID "I'm detective Rollins, I'm here to speak to one of the inmates"
He got calls on the radio every couple of seconds and when he saw her name on the list Amanda thought he seemed a little nervous.
"Wait here detective" he called someone on the phone and let them know she was there.
"What's going on?" Amanda asked, they knew she was coming in to talk to Kate this morning, he should have let her go in.
"Just wait" he looked at her without offering an explanation.
A few minutes later two men walked towards the guard, one of them was wearing a suit and Amanda guessed he was the warden while the other one seemed to be another guard. She walked through the metal detector and the guard opened the door for her.
"Detective Rollins" the man in the suit said "I'm warden Wilson"
"Nice to meet you" she shook his hand "is everything ok? I'm not usually greeted by the warden for a simple interview"
"I'm afraid not" he said "why don't we talk in my office"
"What's going on?" she didn't like this "is Kate Caron alright?"
"Kate Caron is gone" the warden replied.
"Gone?" Amanda stopped "I thought her wounds weren't serious…what happened?"
"Not that kind of gone" he clarified "Kate Caron has escaped earlier today"
Looks like Amanda might be staying in LA a little longer…