Light began poking through the blinds, stirring the bluenette from her deep slumber... She let out a long yawn. Then she recognized the light weight in her arms. She looked down to see a tiny figure clutching at her shirt, the result of which her clothes trapped in tiny fists. She squealed in delight, which resulted in him waking up. He looked around, completely forgetting the events of yesterday and freaking out.
That was until he got a glimpse of the woman holding him. He let out a breath he'd been holding and let out a small smile, causing Lana to grin and give him a kiss on the forehead. "Hiiii, sweetieeee~!" She sang happily. Harry, still adjusting, merely smiled, laying head on her chest as Lana smiled, rubbing his head. "Aw, you're so cuddly." She cooed into his ear. "So cute..." Harry blushed and giggled, hiding in her bust, giving her a good view of his horrible hair. It was SO gross... She grimaced and ran her fingers through his messy dark hair. She stuck her tongue out in disgust when she ended up brushing out a few lice and some specks of dirt. "Harry? You need a bath. Now maybe there's a cool spring nearby..." Lana mused to herself before she was cut off by Harry.
"Um...Miss Lana...?"
Lana looked down at him with a tilted head. "Yes, honey?" She cooed, kissing his head and grimacing when she remembered how dirty it was.
"W-We have a..bath tub.." Harry said, confusing her greatly. Bath tubs were for only the richest of people!
"A...A bath tub...?" She said, confused. "I don't know how to work a bathtub..." Harry tilted his head, confused, and pointed to the master bathroom. Lana picked him up and carried him over to the bathroom, entering and spinning, marvelling at it all. "Oh...my...GOSH, it's HUGE!" She exclaimed. "How can one house have so MUCH room?! It's unbelievable! It's amazing!"
Harry shrugged and pointed to the bathtub. He then flinched away. "B-but I don't get baths...not allowed..."
Lana frowned. "Oh, don't be silly. As long as you live in THIS house, you can have a bath any time you want!" She cooed softly.
Harry tilted his head, confused. "B-But I'm filthy...should stay that wa-"
"No...Harry No." She calmed him. "You ARE filthy...COVERED in dirt and other icky stuff. And that's EXACTLY why you need a bath." She explained gently.
"But but-"
"No buts honey-" She tried to say.
"It s-scares me..." He admitted softly
This got Lana's attention instantaneously. "...It scares you?" She asked softly, placing a hand on the little boy's cheek. "...Why?"
"B-Because...Uncle Vernon...He...He used to put me in the hot or cold water and just hold my head under it...It was so scary..."
Lana grew silent, FAST, before sitting on the porcelain thing and hugging her adopted son tightly and kissing his head. Harry whimpered at the lip contact before wrapping his arms around her TIGHTLY and burying his tiny face into her bosom, wanting to be comforted. And comforted he was, as Lana rocked him back and forth. He was in silence as Lana rubbed his back comfortingly, shushing him and kissing his head. "It's okay...You don't EVER have to worry about that with me." The sorceress cooed. "Do I look like someone who would do that to you?" She gave Harry her best smile as she stroked his cheek.
Harry, his lip still quivering, shook his head and made an "Uh Uh" sound, eliciting another hug from Lana.
"That's right." She cooed softly. "I won't do ANYTHING to hurt you. EVER. You're WAY to sweet to be put through anything like that, honey..."
"I am..?" the emotionally confused toddler asked, and Lana responded in a voice that probably meant she was babying him.
"Yes! Yes you are!" She gave him a kiss on the forehead and rubbed their noses together. "You're the sweetest thing in the whole wide world, and I don't care who says otherwise."
Harry blushed something fierce and made an Eep sound, hiding in his hands as Lana giggled and cuddled him more. "Awww, I just love you sooooo much!" She gushed, delighted. "You're so CUTE!" Harry giggled and Lana picked him up again, carrying him over to the tub, but becoming confused as to what she should do. "Um...Harry, sweetie, do you...know how this thing works, by any chance?"
"Um...you t-turn the thingies..." He said, pointing at the knobs. "B-blue is cold...red is hot..."
Lana nodded. "Okay, I think I got that...But...You don't want cold or hot...How do I get it warm?" Harry shrugged, not sure. Lana sat back down and thought this over, rubbing her chin as she thought. Then an Idea came back to her. "Ah! Maybe you turn both!" She turned both knobs and immediately stuck her hand in the water, yelping when it was too hot at first and drawing her hand back. "Ouch..." She mumbled. "Stupid thing..." She tried again, experimenting, turning the red one down, and the blue one again, water spilling into the tub. She put her hand in and sighed. "Looks and feels just right!" She turned to the little boy with a smile. "What do you think, sweetie? Is this good enough for your bath?" She gently took his tiny hand and placed it in the warm water. Harry, flinching at first but relaxing, sighed happily and Lana grinned, stripping off his clothes and setting him down in the water. "There." She cooed. "Now let's get all this icky stuff off of you so you can be nice and clean, okay honey?" Harry nodded, obediently sitting in the water as Lana inspected the stuff around the tub. "Sh- Shampoo? What's that?" Harry shrugged. Lana held the bottle up to her face and opened it. She was looking through the top of the bottle with her eye, resulting in the shampoo pouring out from the bottle and directly into her open eye. She let out a yelp of pain. "Owieowieowie..." She stumbled around in pain, clutching her eye, then slipped on a bar of soap, resulting in her falling headfirst into the toilet. Harry jumped and grew scared, worried that his caretaker had hurt herself, but she pulled her head out a moment later. "Why is the chair filled with water?!" She crinkled her nose. "And...Why does it smell and taste so...AWFUL?"
"I-It's a toilet, Miss Lana..." Harry told her timidly.
"Toilet...?"
Harry grew red in the face. "It's where...you...um..." He tried to tell her, not sure how to say it.
Lana, however, caught on, and grimaced. "Oh...It's a good thing nobody...went, then."
Jul 13Meanwhile in Skyworld...
Hylia sat on her throne, her face red and her eyes shut. She was in a permanent cringe after having witnessed Lana's failure. A green haired goddess appeared off to the side and stepped in. "Hello there Hylia! What are you looking at?"
"...Well, Palutena, I do believe one of my people is in for a series of unfortunate events in the other world I sent her to..."
"Oh thank Us! I needed a laugh." Palutena said, grinning, as she conjured up a throne of her own, along with Popcorn and took a seat, watching with interest.
Back on Earth...
Lana had read the bottle carefully, and learned how to use the shampoo. She was happily lathering the cleaning product in Harry's hair, and he was delighted that the icky stuff was getting out of his hair...But now Lana needed to find a way to get the shampoo out of Harry's hair. Trying to figure it out, she ended up noticing the shower head, which was detachable. Curious, she picked it up and held it to her face. She subconsciously leaned against the tap...and ended up accidentally turning on the shower head, spraying herself with the shower head. With a yelp, she stumbled back before slipping on the same bar of soap and once again falling headfirst into the toilet, this time her entire upper torso becoming obscured by the bowl, her legs sticking straight up in the air before going limp, her feet facing in opposite directions as her knees touched.
"M-Miss Lana!" Harry exclaimed as age thrashed about, short of air. She finally managed to thrash herself loose enough to grab onto something , hitting the Toilet flusher and dousing herself.
"Ooooooooh noooooooooo!" Lana moaned as the toilet water splashed all over her. In Skyworld, Hylia had been joined by Pit and Viridi, who were dying of laughter right alongside Palutena. Lana let out a loud growl . "Why me?" She said softly. She glared at the toilet. "I hate you!" She said before giving it a swift kick...and was promptly rewarded with a faceful of toilet water for her efforts.
She decided the toilet was her number one enemy. "M-Miss Lana...?" Harry asked, worried at her angry demeanour, scared she'd blame him. Lana, sopping wet, turned back to him.
She sighed in defeat. "...Mommy does NOT like toilets, sweetie..." Lana mumbled softl
"I'm sorry mo-Miss Lana..." he said, catching himself and dipping his head under the water, getting some suds out. Lana was a little unsure as to what he tried to say.
However, she shrugged it off. "Okay, I think I have the...spray-ey...thingy figured out...I'm gonna get all that gunk out of your hair, kay sweetie?" Harry nodded and Lana giggled, covering his eyes to keep the soap out, and spraying his head, all the whiteness just leaking away. "Hooray! I did it!" She cheered. She was celebrating her accomplishment when she noticed the small rubber ducky sitting on the tub. "Hmm? Awww, what's this adorable little thing?" She cooed, picking it up, accidentally squeezing it, causing it to squeak. "It's alive!" She screamed, dropping the object and kicking it, causing it to rebound off the wall and hit her in the eye, causing her to stumble back and slip on the wet floor, making her fall in the toilet once again. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She screamed. The rubber duck landed perfectly in the tub next to Harry, who picked it up curiously. He squeezed the toy, it squeaked, and he let out a giggle.
While Harry was playing with his toy, which he had named Yellow, and Lana was once again struggling with the Porcelain Torture Weapon, Hylia was now surrounded by a mob of Gods and Goddesses. Din, Nayru and Farore were in a heap on the floor, Naga Ws doing that silent laugh and Phosphora was probably laughing the loudest.
Lana, for some reason, was feeling incredibly judged at the moment... But she managed to pull her head out of the toilet, slamming it closed. Lana decided SHE needed a bath now. She grabbed multiple towels, drying herself with them before lifting up Harry and scrubbing him down, effectively drying him. She smiled softly as he continued to happily squeak his little ducky. So he had befriended the monster...That was good. She smiled lovingly and carried him back to her room and set him on the bed, realising he had no clothes. "Um...Uh oh..." She looked thoughtful. "Oh dear...What will I do now? I can't put you back in those horrible rags..." She mused. She looked through all the nooks and crannies that the room had, finding a closet filled with clothes that were designed to fit her quite obviously.
*Skyworld*
"You didn't make the kid clothes?" Phosphora asked the Embarrassed Hylia who shrugged.
"I guess I didn't."
Lana frowned. "Oh dear..." She mumbled. "Well, there must be something in here you can wear until I can get you some clothes of your own..."
So she pulled out a nice blue shirt and slipped it over Harry's frame, making his arms appear tinier than before. She had room to swaddle him! Clapping her hands gleefully, she began wrapping him up in the blanket until he resembled a cuddly blue cocoon, his sweet little face poking out, looking at her curiously. "Mo-Miss Lana? Why...?" He was shushed by Lana cuddling him and carrrying him like a baby down to the kitchen.
Harry giggled and snuggled closer to her, still clutching tightly to his ducky. Lana turned in a circle, examine all the shiny, interesting things. She had NO idea how to do ANYTHING a in this room. She pouted. "How am I gonna get us breakfast? Where's the cauldron to make soup in?"
"Miss Lana...y-you want me to make b-breakfast...?" Harry asked the caretaker who turned in confusion.
"Huh? Harry, sweetie, baby, angel..." She cooed out various pet names as she knelt down and placed her hands on his cheeks. "You're too little to be making breakfast." She gave him a kiss on the nose.
"But..no I...it's..." Harry was once again, terribly confused. Lana gave him a hug.
"It has fire! And that could hurt." She giggled. "Lana doesn't want her baby boy getting any owies!" She said gently, wagging her finger playfully. Harry got a sad face, then his lip started quivering, and tears leaked out of his eyes. He had always hated cooking, and his caretaker was doing it herself. Lana frowned and she pulled her little cocoon into a tight hug, accidentally squeaking Yellow in the process. "Aw, don't be sad, honey. I'm taking care of you now. It's mommy's job to cook for you. Not the other way around."
"M-Mommy...?" He asked her, having heard her say it before.
"Yes. You don't have to call me it yet, but-" she was cut off.
"MOMMY!" Harry cheered, hugging her tightly. Lana's mouth opened in shock as his tears wet her outfit. She hugged the distraught child was so happy...So he didn't understand why he was crying in Miss Lana-no...his new mommy's arms... "Mommy mommy..." he whispered as Lana rocked him back and forth.
"Shh...honey, it's alright my little soul..."
"I can't believe it...I have a mommy...I really have a mommy..." Harry whispered as he was rocked gently.
"And I'll always...ALWAYS...be here for you..." She whispered, snuggling the child, still cocooned.
He sniffled and rested his head on her chest. "...I love you...mommy..."
Internally squeeling, she hugged him tighter. "And I love you Harry..."
*Skyworld*
The Goddesses and Pit watched with teary eyes at the sight of the interaction. "IT'S SO BEAUTIFUUUUUUUUUL!" Pit sobbed.
Palutena giggled, "Feeling a little emotional today Pit?"
Pit nodded sadly, and Palutena gave him a hug and let him cry it out. Viridi giggled, "Ha! Oh Pit. What're we gonna do with you?"
Lana held her child close, delighted he had so eagerly accepted her role as mother. Maybe she could do this well...and just the thought of it made her the happiest woman ever. 'Thank you, Hylia...' She thought warmly.
'You're welcome my child...' She responded, Lana deciding to cuddle him for a little while longer...