A/N: I felt inspired last night. So here you go, the second chapter.

In the first chapter, I had mentioned how Matteo hadn't been looking forwards to bearing a child. There was a guest comment on the first chapter addressing the fact that Matteo, in his previous life, felt that she had to bear children and mentioned that adoption, surrogacy, and not having a baby are all options as well. Well, I'm kind of writing on my behalf since this is a self-insert (meaning that the basis of this character is in fact built on my life, with wide deviations in personality later), but I myself want a child. I want to be able to bear a child, and since this character is essentially me, this character also wanted a child of her own. However, what I said in the last chapter was that the pain of childbirth was something that Matteo/I would not want to experience since I've heard so many horror stories about hormone changes and such, but I believe that it's a worthy exchange for bringing a life into the world. I understand that there are other options to having a birth child and that there's no obligation for any one woman to having one, but Matteo wanted one. He just wasn't looking forwards to the whole process in the future. There was another point that this review brought up: why having a dick and not minding be perverse? It mentioned that men and transgendered women do not find it so. Well, I didn't mean a perverted sense of humor to mean unusual, unnatural, or abnormal in any sense. Rather, I tried to make light of the situation that a gender swap would cause. I personally find it humorous that a character who had been a female all her life suddenly became a guy without warning, and the fact that she could find it fun and interesting is different than anothers' reactions, who might freak out and try to deny the sex change. That's all I meant by the "perverted sense of humor" comment. I don't think that having a penis is in any way perverse or unusual, since half of this world is male. This is a point of humor and something I mean to exploit to lift the mood of this fic a bit. I didn't mean to make anything sound odd or unfair, nor do I mean to offend anyone. I'm simply writing this as an experiment and for fun. If I do offend anyone, I'm sorry.

Please, if you have any more concerns about this fic, review so that I may respond to you directly and not in an author's note since I can't respond to a guest reviewer. I'd love to have a discussion about anything related to this fic with you, but the author's notes section is not the best place to do so, I think.

Anyways, please enjoy and review!

XxX

Giorgio Fava was my lifeline. The protective older brother I never had, the gentle presence that I could confess anything to. My parents (of my past life, of course, because I just knew that here, I had no mother, and my father was always busy, busy, busy) were loving, of course, but like many parents, wanted the best for me. Breaching that boundary of expectations was hard, and I'd never really had a close family figure.

I could ask Giorgio anything, tell him anything, show him anything. He entertained me, brought me to his tutoring sessions (which was how I found out that, while not filthy rich, we were relatively well of financially) and to his swords practices. Hah, who practiced swordplay in this day and age? Apparently my brother. It was humorous and endearing.

When asked what I would want to learn for a weapon, my first response was a dual swords. After all, it wasn't like I'd be killing anyone, and learning how to wield a sword was just a hobby of my brother's. Dual swords were so cool. If not dual swords, then maybe dual pistols? A greatsword! A lance? I laughed as I contemplated with my brother, who snickered as he heard some of my more absurd choices.

This probably wasn't a really serious question and wouldn't factor largely into my life.

(How naïve I was.)

Finally, I asked, "Why learn a weapon? I want to learn the piano."

And right then, right there, was the first hint that the world I was living in was not the same normal, comfortable life I lived as a college student.

Something flickered over his eyes, and his entire face darkened. His eyebrows pulled downwards before clearing quickly.

"Sure, you can learn the piano!" he replied cheerfully. I didn't notice that he hadn't said anything about not learning a weapon.

The next day, a magnificent baby grand appeared in our wing of the house, and delightedly, I ran up to the instrument, lifted the covers, and ran my fingers across the ivory keys.

I sat at the bench, legs too short to reach the floor and fingers too weak and clumsy to play running scales, but the pure, clear notes that drifted from the piano brought on a wave of nostalgia.

I would relearn the piano. It had been so important in my past life, how could I not play it here?

And thus I passed my days peacefully. Giorgio would practice his swordsmanship and I would practice the piano. We would spend our time together, laughing and talking.

XxX

The thing is, people grow up. It's an inevitable part of life. Personalities shift, a result of hormones as the body underwent change. I wasn't particularly surprised when my brother started spending less and less time with me, but it still hurt. I was left more and more lonely, with books and my piano to occupy my time.

Instead of seeing Giorgio constantly throughout my day, his visits decreased to only one or two a day, and unless I actively sought him out (something I didn't do often, because insecurity had always been one of my faults, and if he didn't want to spend time with me, why impose myself on him?), he didn't see me as often.

Other responsibilities, I reasoned. He was twelve, and I was seven. Homework, training, studies, they all occupied his time more and more. I sometimes saw unfamiliar faces wandering around, faces that never had appeared before. Something was up.

There were things not hard to notice. Perhaps if the age I was physically was actually my mental age, I would have chalked everything up to the simple life process of growing up. But I was not.

It concerned me that, whenever I saw him, Giorgio had more and more bruises, and he walked more gingerly than before. He told me that father was calling upon him more and more often, asking about his training and studies. More and more pressure was put on him, and he seemed to be crumbling under it. As a former pre-med student and double major, pressure was not unfamiliar to me. However, as a twelve year old boy, well, it made me wonder what, exactly, was so important that Giorgio was slowly wilting away from it all.

"Brother," I said, touched a small hand to his tanned arm covered in bruises. He winced and shifted it away subtly. It was one of the rare days that we had to ourselves. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm fine, little brother," he answered, ruffling my hair. I huffed and brushed the dark brown strands out of my eyes. I was due for a haircut, but I wanted for my hair to grow out longer. My hair had always been long when I'd been a girl, straight and highlighted a dark red. Perhaps I wouldn't be dying my hair in this life, but having air against the back of my neck was unusual and uncomfortable.

"You're not," I insisted after the momentary distraction. I narrowed my eyes and poked him harshly directly on a bruise. Okay, I also had a slight sadistic streak, so sue me. "Father has been asking about you so often, and you've been studying and training so hard lately. What's going on? Is something going to happen?"

He turned his head slightly so the sun shadowed his face and I couldn't see his expression clearly.

"Nothing you have to worry about," he replied before reaching out and, despite his injuries, pulled me onto his lap and laid his chin atop my head.

I closed my eyes, accepting for now. He was my precious person in this world. I would protect him because, despite all appearances, I really was the older one. I could shoulder the mental responsibility.

As I lazed in the warm sunlight and started dozing off, I heard, half-asleep, a whisper.

"I'll keep you away from them, little brother. I'll succeed, so you don't have to."

XxX

My first fight with Giorgio happened not long after. I shouldn't have been surprised. The rift between us, no matter how shallow, was deepening and growing, born from our time apart.

I'd asked him, once, why he trained so hard. What was he doing this for? To me, who had only occasionally run or biked as exercise, this was ludicrous. What danger was there, in this world, that would threaten my brother? We seemed like an ordinary, if not somewhat kind of very rich, family, with the stereotypical absent other and the Grade A+ parenting that came from our father. I knew that he was shouldering some kind of responsibility, but what exactly would cause a mere child, not even in his teen years yet, to work so hard?

I hadn't been going to his practices much anymore, but one day, he invited me.

"You'll see why I'm training so hard," he said, winking as he led me to the training room for the first time in a very long time.

The training was brutal, harsher than it used to be. Before, the instructor had always been careful to not push my brother past his limit, to pace the training carefully. Now however, it wasn't hard to see where all of the bruises came from. Even a practice sword could produce dark blue welts and pound my brother into the ground.

But this wasn't what my brother wanted me to see.

Midway through the practice, the doors to the training room opened, and in walked a rather handsome man with dark hair and sharp brown eyes, dressed in an impeccably pressed suit and flanked by bodyguards. I could appreciate the sight as a former female, but what I witnessed after soon erased all admiration of physical attributes with an uneasy, suspicious feeling.

"Ah, Giorgio, hard at training again, I see," the man greeted, smirking.

Giorgio's eyes immediately were drawn towards him. He smiled superficially and nodded deferentially.

"Enrico," he bowed. Sweating and tired, I watched as my brother respectfully catered to this man, this Enrico. Was this what my brother wanted to see? He was training for this guy I'd never seen before? It was strange. Why would my brother need to do something like that?

"I'm glad you're training. Can't guard me if you aren't strong, right?" Enrico asked happily, clapping a hand onto Giorgio's sweating shoulder. My brother winced but let out a strained laugh.

"Of course. Only the best for the Vongola heir," Giorgio responded.

At that moment, several pieces clicked together.

Giorgio was training to protect this Enrico. Enrico was the heir to something important, something that needed constant guarding. So this is what Giorgio was doing?

"And who's this?"

I looked up, startled as a shadow fell over my smaller frame. A hand was held out to me, and I automatically grasped it.

"My brother. Matteo, say hello," Giorgio commanded, his brotherly presence gone to be replaced with a blank mask. He nodded at me and jerked his head subtly to the other man.

"Hello, Enrico. My name is Matteo Fava, Giorgio's younger brother," I introduced myself.

Enrico hummed, good humor in his eyes. This man wasn't a bad person per se, but dangerous. His face was lined with sharp intelligence and a commanding aura, a natural born leader.

"Well, it's good to meet you, Matteo," the Vongola heir greeted and knelt down to take my hand in his, shaking it gently. "It's good to see that Giorgio has good company. He's always so obsessed with training these days, you know? Distract him sometimes, it's not so good to be serious all the time."

"Y-yeah," I stuttered, withdrawing my hand.

The man stood and nodded his head towards my older brother.

"I'll see you again later. You'll officially be guarding me in a year, yes?"

"Yes, sir," Giorgio responded.

Enrico hummed before nodding.

"It's a large responsibility, but I have faith in your family and you," the heir said before departing. "I'll see you later!"

The large doors to the training room swung shut, and I was left with questions answered and more questions in their place.

XxX

"Brother."

Giorgio grunted in acknowledgement as he rolled over onto his side lazily. We were sprawled in my bed. I held a book in front of me as he attempted to doze off. Another lazy day, becoming rarer and rarer. This day, I resolved to get some answers.

"Giorgio," I said, calling his attention with my use of his name. "Enrico, he's the heir to something, right? Can you…please, you've been really busy lately. I just want to know. I'm…" I mulled over my words. I'd never been eloquent with speeches but rather with writing. I wrote in my free time and bantered better with written words rather than vocal ones. But here, I couldn't run behind an electronic screen. "I need to know why you've been training so hard. Why you? Who is he exactly?"

There was an exhale before Giorgio turned and looked me in the eye. His eyes were serious, green and solemn.

"…I'm going to tell you a story."

I sighed and scooted upwards until my back rested against the headboard. "All right then."

"Once upon a time, there was a small town. Crime ran rampant in this town, and poverty was everywhere you could see. The strong stole from the weak, and the corrupt carelessly squandered the townspeople's money. It was in this small town that a vigilante group was born.

"It was formed by a group of misfits, to be honest. The leader was a carefree young man, but very strong of heart. His right hand man was his best friend since childhood, impulsive and easily angered but loyal to a fault. Then there was a carefree musician, friendly and easy going but valuing friendship above all else. There was a spoiled son of a Lord, careless and lazy but determined when need be. A priest had also joined the group, a former boxer who turned his passion to helping others. And to add to the interesting group, there was a head a secret intelligence agency, a lone wolf who nonetheless ferociously protected his comrades. Finally, there was an aristocrat, ruthless and merciless to his enemies to build this vigilante group up with strength.

"And yet, despite their differences, they were loyal to each other and always came to each other's aid. And the leader was always protected by his comrades. However, they could not always be by their leader's side, and if the leader fell, the bonds between each other would surely dissolve as well. So they entrusted another man with a duty to always remain by the leader's side and protect him with his own life."

He paused for a while, scanning my face to see if I'd understood. I had a feeling I knew where this was going, but I swallowed harshly and nodded for him to continue.

"This vigilante group successfully defended their land, helping the impoverished and punishing the corrupt. They named themselves the Vongola. For generations, they protected their territory. However, when the first generation passed, changes were made. Sometimes the leader was kind and gentle, but sometimes they were cruel and hard. But whatever they did, there were always the guardians who carried out the leader's orders and the guard. And soon, the Vongola rose in both reputation and infamy. They grew and expanded into what is now one of the biggest mafia families in the world.

"And to this day, there is the leader of the Vongola, his Guardians, and his Paladin."

And it all came together.

"The Vongola, that's Enrico. And you're the Paladin. We're the family that protects the Vongola," I whispered in a shaky voice, raising my terrified eyes to meet his. He nodded gravely. "The Vongola is part of the mafia, you're supposed to guard him with your life! Enrico, you can't do this, do you know how dangerous this is?! He can hire tons of bodyguards, why do you have to-"

"Matteo," he interrupted, laying a hand on mine. I clenched his hand convulsively. I shouldn't let him go, I couldn't. Even in this world, this afterlife of mine, he had become someone I loved dearly. I wouldn't let him go. "Matteo, please, I'm doing this for you."

"For me? Why?! I don't need you to do anything like this for me, I don't care about them! They can burn for all I care, but you, I care about you, brother, don't do this!"

"It's my duty, Matteo!" he exclaimed, sitting up and leaning forwards, fire burning in his eyes. "I don't want to do this either, but if it's not me, it's you, and in this world, family and tradition is forever. Instead of me, you'd be out there, training until your hands bled and studying until you couldn't cram anything else into your head!"

"I can take it!" I'm twenty-seven, you moron. I'm more mature than you, let me take care of this. "This is so stupid, get the Vongola to take someone else!"

"I can't, what can't you understand about this?" he yelled at me, and I recoiled. He breathed heavily. "Matteo, listen to me. I'll train as hard as I can and protect Enrico. He's not a bad person, couldn't you tell? I wouldn't mind protecting him, and if I can do that successfully, you'll never have to be involved with the mafia world. I'll be protecting the both of you. So please, let this go."

I clutched at the sheets below me and lowered my head. Of all the irresponsible, over protective, moronic Neanderthals that I had to be brothers with, of course I'd be brothers with this one.

"Fine," I breathed, but I raised my head defiantly. "Fine, but I'll train with you."

"What…!"

"I'll train with you," I continued relentlessly. "I'll help you grow stronger, because even the greatest men fall sometimes, and when you do, I'll help you too. Being brothers isn't a one way street, you know."

He gaped at me, and I smirked smugly before picking my book back up.

"But you don't even have to!"

"Doesn't matter. I want to."

There was a huff before Giorgio fell backwards onto the bed. "…fine. Do whatever you want."

I hummed in agreement. If Giorgio was determined to protect me, then I'd help protect him too. And getting stronger was my first priority if I was going to help him protect the Vongola heir.

XxX

"Again! Archery is not only about precision and aim but also of mental fortitude! If your heart is not calm and your mind clear, you will miss your target, and even a millimeter may be the difference between life and death."

I obediently breathed out, centering my mind. There was only one more month before my brother would leave me to guard Enrico, and I'd be sent to a school to continue my studies. There, I was determined to gain allies and friends, to make connections. As a pre-med it'd been important, but here, in a world of the mafia, it'd be crucial. But first, I had to have talent and grow stronger to do so, and once I had connections, I'd have power to help Giorgio protect the Vongola.

I closed my eyes, feeling the string of the bow cutting into my fingers and the weight of the arrow, centered and ready. Three…two…one…

"Release!"

I let go of the arrow and watched in distaste when it landed several centimeters off of the center of the target.

"Better, but still lacking. That will be all for today," my instructor said before beginning to collect his equipment. I nodded as I gather my things as well.

"Thank you for the lesson," I bade farewell before leaving the training room. As I carried the equipment in slightly shaking arms, my brother emerged from his own training room, bathed in sweat. He grinned weakly at me, clearly exhausted.

"Hey, little brother. How's training going?"

"Good, you?" I answered as we meandered back to our wing.

He hummed in answer. We walked in companionable silence, but as we were about to split to return to our separate rooms (and showers, thank god), he broke the silence.

"Father requested a meeting with me today. Tonight, actually."

I paused and furrowed my brows.

"Father? That guy who's supposed to be involved in our lives but actually isn't? That guy?" I asked jokingly as I shifted my weight.

"Yeah, that guy," Giorgio huffed. "I get to see him in the first time in forever, but it's probably going to be about being the Paladin and all, you know?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I paused, not quite sure what he was trying to say to me.

He closed his eyes and breathed out, long and slow. When he opened them, his green eyes held yearning and regret, sadness yet strength.

"I probably won't be seeing you much anymore. I just wanted to say, if I forget sometime this month, that…well, I'm glad you're my little brother. I love you, Matteo. And I'll do everything I can to protect you, alright? You'll always rank higher than anyone else in my life," he said, reaching forward and cupping my cheek with his hands. They were warm and clammy from gripping the sword, but I understood through that sibling bond I'd never had before.

I smiled cheekily even as I laid my own hand over his. "If you forget to say something so simple to me in the next month, I'm going to kick your ass. Better reserve a day before you leave especially for me before you leave to live in the big bad mansion, you hear me?"

He chuckled and pressed a kiss onto the top of my head. "Yeah, I hear you."

He released me and walked towards his room, and I folded my arms and shook my head exasperatedly.

Honestly. Like he would forget to say bye to me or something. How silly.

XxX

The last month rushed by in a whirl. I threw myself into my studies and training, playing the piano when I felt lonely and composing notes onto a page. I practiced everything, from the strength of my fingers as I gripped the bow to the strength of my mind as I learned all I could about the mafia world before I was thrown into a school.

And finally, the last week arrived, several days before Giorgio left to permanently serve in the Vongola mansion.

I waited as my brother rushed by me, learning tactics and guarding positions, practicing how predict bullet trajectories and identify suspicious people. I waited for a free day, a day he would spend especially with me, a day I could bask in this person who was my anchor in the new world.

It turned out, that day never came.

As he turned to leave, I grasped his wrist, right above a black bracelet that he'd never taken off after that meeting with our father. A signal of loyalty to the Vongola family, he'd explained quickly when I asked before rushing to meet with Enrico.

"Giorgio. I…" I began before I got a good look at his face.

It was hardened, serious and cutting when he swept his eyes over mine. He raised an eyebrow and tugged at his wrist.

"No, Matteo, I've really got to go. I'll see you sometime, alright?" he muttered distractedly.

"Giorgio!"

He turned his head to Enrico, and his whole face lit up, like a sun hiding behind clouds. I flinched at the drastic change. Why…had we grown apart so easily within a month? Only thirty days?

"I'll see you, Matteo," he said before rushing away, smiling and laughing as he greeted his new boss, the man he would be guarding for the rest of his life.

"…see you, brother," I whispered.

Alone again. Just like after I was born, thrust into a cold, bright world, I was alone. I closed my eyes and clenched my fists.

Alone.

XxX

I started school the next week, without the reassuring presence of my brother beside me. My heart beat crazily as I glanced around at those who had already gotten to know each other, and I felt those nerves from a previous life emerge again. That tentativeness as I met my new dorm mates, hoping that they would like me and we could be friends. That insecurity as my unfamiliarity with others got in the way of my awkward interactions with others.

But then I remembered that during college, I had made some of the best friends I'd ever made before. Men and women who would stay by my side for the next three years, and some even longer.

I raised my head and looked forwards.

Perhaps my older brother was gone, but I was a new person, no longer that eighteen year old girl beginning her first college experience. Here, I was eight, with an additional twenty years of experience under my belt and a maturity that could give these kids a run for their money. If I couldn't secure friends and allies here, then I was a failure.

I strode forwards and promptly got lost on the way to my classroom.

XxX

Sincerely yours,

haplessgrapefrut