Disclaimer : I own absolutely positively nothing!...except a whole whack of CDs…. and a lot of pictures of Jesse McCartney. (Which, I should probably mention now, is kind of who you should picture when you picture Nick. :P)
Chapter Eight : The Trouble With Boys And Girls
RECAP!
"My dad," she said.
"What?" he asked.
Connie smiled.
"The stories your dad told you about my dad," she said," I wanna hear them, too."
Nick thought about this for a moment.
"OK," he said," I can tell you some of those. Where should we start, ninth grade, I guess?"
Connie's eyes widened.
"It started in ninth grade?" she asked.
"Well, no," said Nick. " Apparently, it started much earlier, but my dad only just met your dad in ninth grade, so he's only got about four years worth of stories."
Connie chuckled. "OK," she said, "continue."
No attorneys
To plead my case
No orbits
To send me into outer space
And my fingers
Are bejeweled
With diamonds and gold
But that ain't gonna help me now
I'm trouble
"Well," Nick began, "in ninth grade, John Bender snored the loudest in class."
"Which class?" Kyle asked.
"EVERY class, apparently," Nick replied, then he continued. "He would also ride his skateboard down the hallways and mark the walls, the lockers, and the Boys' bathrooms with red spray paint. When Vernon caught him, your dad would just say that he was simply marking his territory, to separate it from Vernon's territory."
"In tenth grade," Nick continued, "he pulled a record of three, sometimes four fire alarms every week, and once, when he went to detention and had to write an essay, he just wrote 'Dick' a thousand times, and at the bottom of the page he wrote 'Dick Vernon' then put the initials 'D.V' right under that, and swapped them around."
"Swapped them around?" Connie asked.
"But when you swap 'D.V' around," Kyle muttered, "you get – "
" 'V.D'!" Daf exclaimed.
They all thought about this for a moment, then burst out laughing. A/N : For those of you who don't know, VD is a Sexually Transmitted Disease)
"Which would explain why, the week after, the words 'D.V has VD' were spray painted all over the walls in the hallways," Nick explained.
"Now, in his junior year, John Bender didn't actually end up in detention as much," he continued.
"Because he hardly ever got caught?" Kyle asked.
"No, because he hardly ever did anything," Nick replied.
"But he sounds like he was at the top of his game," said Sean, "why quit so soon?"
"He didn't quit, Sporty Spice, he just didn't cause as much trouble," Nick told him.
"My mother," Connie muttered.
Nick gave her a puzzled glance.
"What?" he asked.
"My dad had detention with my mom for the first time in March of 1984," Connie answered, "just before the end of their sophomore year."
"So she brought him down just as he had reached the top…" Kyle muttered.
"Just like a woman…" Sean added.
Daf and Connie glared at the two of them.
"OK," said Daf, "which one of you idiots wants to get hit first?"
"I recommend the dumb jock," said Connie, gesturing to Sean, "he bruises quite easily."
"What a coincidence, so does Kyle!" said Nick.
"I'm sorry, weren't you in the middle of a story?" Kyle asked, obviously hinting that Nick should get back to it.
"Yeah, yeah, don't get your nuts in a knot," said Nick. "Anyway, John Bender's biggest and only pranks that year mostly had to do with cars, my dad called it his Greased Lightning Year."
"Catchy," quipped Connie.
Nick smirked. "The first day of school, my dad and your dad cut their last two classes to go out to the parking lot and paint the principal's car hot pink. On the hood they wrote 'Pepto – Bismobile' in bright orange spray paint."
"Whoa, that woulda gone down in Pimp My Ride history," said Connie.
"Pink and orange?" Daf asked, appalled. "Good God, what were they thinking?"
"They were teenage boys, they weren't," Connie told her.
"Hey!" said all three boys.
"Hey, you diss my gender, I diss yours," Connie explained. "So, what else happened?"
"Well, I don't know if I wanna tell you now that you've offended me," said Nick
"Well, how 'bout I buy you a cookie after detention's over?" suggested Connie, mimicking Nick's promise to Kyle.
"How 'bout ya just agree to sleep with me and we call it even?" Nick suggested, smiling.
"How bout I just beat you to death with my bare hands?" Connie fired back, with a sarcastic smile.
"Wow, detention really brings out the evilness in girls," said Kyle.
"Actually," said Sean, glancing over at Daf, "bad hair days bring out the evilness in girls, as well as the wrong shade of red nail polish, lip gloss that dries too fast, and when another girl has the same purse, only hers is more expensive."
"Ooh," murmered Kyle, also glancing at Daf, "sounds like somebody swims at theshallow end."
"I amnot shallow!" Daf argued.
"You're right," said Sean," you're also bitchy, bratty and conceited."
"But they don't have a Conceited End in swimming pools, so we have to go with shallow," said Nick.
"Fuck every single one of you!" Daf practically screeched, then she hopped off the desk and went back to her previous seat at the front.
"And you think I'M horrible just cuz I wanna get with you!" Nick told Connie, as he gestured to Daf, "when SHE seems to want everybody!"
"That's not what I said!" Daf yelled at him, turning in her seat, "you're twisting my words around!"
"Am I, really?" Nick asked.
But they didn't have any time to continue the argument, because the library door opened and Gus the janitor walked into the room. Gus was slightly heavy – set, with blonde hair that was slowly turning gray, and whiskers that were faring the same way.
The five teenagers just stared blankly back at him.
"OK," Gus began, "I assume you've all been briefed on what kind of hard labor I have the pleasure of putting you through today, so let's begin, shall we? The first job I have to offer is cleaning up the Boys bathrooms…all of them. So that means you," he pointed to Nick, "and you," he pointed at Sean, "get to come with me."
Nick and Sean glanced at each other, and everyone else glanced at Nick and Sean. So, both letting out pitiful sighs, the two boys got up and walked to the front of the library, where Gus stepped back and ushered them out of the room first, closing the door behind him.
YES! I'm back!
I am terribly sorry for the lengthy hiatus, but I'm approaching the end of my school year, and exams are coming up, so I'm really busy right now, so ya just gotta be patient for me OK?
Now, review, my pretties, review!
- Ace's Buddy