Author's Notes : OK,it's finally that time for our young heroes...that's right, people, LUNCH TIME! But when the group gets a little seperated, what will happen?
I refuse to use the word "hijinks" cuz although it's an entertaining word, it's also a little corny.
Chapter 15 : Stick With Me, Kid...
"EVERYBODY BACK IN THEIR SEATS, DOWN HERE, NOW!" Mr. Vernon hollered.
Connie, Daf, Sean and Kyle all scrambled to their feet and bolted down the stairs to the ground floor of the library.
Nick, however, sauntered calmly down the stairs behind the rest of them.
"He's fearless!" Connie whispered to Kyle, as they all waited for Nick at the bottom of the stairs.
"Nah, he's just Nick," Kyle replied.
"Harrison!" Vernon barked. "C'mon, get your ass in gear!"
Suddenly, Nick stopped and stared at their principal.
"Which gear, sir?" he asked. "First, second, or third?"
"What do you care?" Kyle asked,"you've never driven a stick in your life!"
Nick smirked.
"Well, I guess that all depends on your definition of - "
"HARRISON, NOW!"
So Nick gave the older man a small salute of obedience and finished his descent down the stairs.
"Alright," said Vernon,"now Harrison and Bender, come with me, the rest of you, glue your asses to your chairs and don't move."
"Glue them?" Daf asked. "But these jeans are brand new!"
Sean groaned and Kyle rolled his eyes.
"Just SIT DOWN, Miss Pearson!" Vernon ordered, he then pointed at Connie and Nick."and you two, come with me, now!"
"We're being punished just because I don't have sex and because Nick watches old school Disney movies?" Connie asked.
"What?" Vernon asked.
"Yeah, I don't think that's it, Connie," Nick muttered.
"And it shouldn't be either!" said Connie, walking out of the room, Nick following close behind. "I mean, hell, I should be admired...!"
"Just shut up and go sit in my office!" Vernon barked, standing in the doorway of the library, he then turned back toward the remaining three, who were now sitting back at their respective desks.
"And you three..." he growled,"I don't wanna hear one peep coming from this room or I swear to God, skulls will be cracked!"
"You got it, sir," said Kyle.
Vernon glared at him and Kyle put a hand over his mouth.
"Oh, sorry, does that count as a peep?" he asked.
Vernon said nothing, he just turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him.
He then went across the hall to his office, where Nick and Connie already were, Connie sitting in one of the chairs in front of Vernon's desk, and Nick sitting in the chair behind Vernon's desk.
"Not that chair, Harrison, THIS ONE!" Vernon seethed, pointing to the empty chair beside Connie.
"But I look scarier sitting in a spot of authority, don'tcha think?" Nick asked.
Connie nodded. "He looks downright frightening to me, sir."
"You can't scare me, Harrison, because it's my job to scare you, now get out of my chair!" Vernon roared.
Nick shrugged and complied to the older man's command, sitting down in the chair beside Connie.
"Uh, sir...?" Connnie spoke up. "If you don't mind me asking, why are Nick and I sitting in here, and the other three are still in the library?"
Vernon arched a bushy, silver eyebrow.
"Well, Miss Bender, you and Mr.Harrison are in here because I just know that whatever the hell it was that I walked in on was most likely the brainchild of the two of you," he replied, sharply.
"Well, y'know what they say sir," said Nick,"you put a boy and a girl in the same room together, and stuff like that is bound to happen!"
"I don't think that's the kind of child he was talking about, Nick," Connie told him.
"Ah, you're just jealous cuz the kid's probably gonna end up lookin' like me."
"Harrison, shut up!" Vernon snapped."As I was saying, I know that there have probably been even more shananighans going on then whatever the hell you were all doing on the second floor of the library, and I know that you two were probably the masterminds behind all of it."
"How do you figure that, sir?" Nick asked.
"Because, Harrison," Vernon hissed,"you've been making trouble ever since the day you set foot in this school, and Miss Bender here," he glanced over at Connie"...well,rebellion is in her blood, after all."
"Wow, rebellion, huh?" Nick asked. "Well, forgive me if I sound surprised, sir, it's just that, in Biology class, when Mrs. Thomson taught us about the makeup of blood...well, she mentioned cells and DNA and stuff, but she didn't say one thing about rebellion."
Connie said nothing, her mouth remained shut and her eyes stayed on Vernon.
"Harrison, I have had it up to here with that wise - ass mouth of yours!" Vernon snapped.
Nick suddenly looked puzzled.
"My mouth has an ass?" he asked.
Connie watched as Vernon's eyes turned nearly as red as his face, and the vein in his forehead throbbed, taking on an extremely unhealthy appearance.
"SHUT UP!" he roared, practically jumping up from his chair, coming around the desk to stand in front of Nick and Connie.
"You know what I'm gonna do with the two of you?" he said.
"Does it involve a midevil dungeon and a stretching rack?" Nick asked.
"Only in my sweetest dreams, Harrison," Vernon replied."No, what I am going to do with the two of you, is I am going to put you back to work. Gus isn't here anymore today, so that means that even more work will have to be done on beautifying this school until it gleams."
"But we didn't actually do anything bad!" Connie suddenly protested."I mean, hell, all I did was lend my cellphone out - "
Nick's eyes went wide and he suddenly broke out into a coughing fit.
" - Your cellphone?" Vernon cut in, crossing his arms over his chest.
"To order the pizza!" Nick answered. "Seeing as it is close to lunchtime sir, and we growing adolescents need proper nourishment."
"Ah yes, lunchtime..." Mr. Vernon grumbled,"well,cancel that pizza and go get your own lunches instead,that you brought from home. You two will be eating in here."
"Well, sir," said Connie,"would it actually be alright if Nick and I just shared his lunch...?"
"Forget it!" said Nick. "My Fritos are my Fritos!"
"But my mother made my lunch!" Connie explained. "And if I didn't know she loved me so much, by the taste of her homecooked meals, I'd think she was tryin'to kill me!"
"Well, suck it up and choke it down!" Vernon ordered.
Nick and Connie both paused for a moment, gazing up at their principal.
"Wow,"said Nick,"that sure sounds kinda...unpleasant,slash graphic."
Vernon just pointed at his office door.
"I will escort the two of you back to the library," he told them,"you will grab your lunches, without ANY dawdling, and you will come back here and eat, then I will put you two work...do you understand me?"
"Parlez - vous francais?"
"HARRISON!"
When Mr. Vernon escorted Nick and Connie back to the library, he opened the door to reveal Sean, sleeping with his head on his desk, Kyle, once again reading a National Geographic and chuckling to himself, and Daf, talking to one of her friends on her cellphone.
Mr. Vernon walked into the room and walked over to Daf, snatching the cellphone out of her hand and snapping it shut.
"I'll take that, Miss Pearson," he said, pocketing the phone.
"But isn't she allowed one three - minute phone call?" Kyle asked, still flipping through his magazine."I mean, that's usually how it works when somebody gets arrested!"
"You, shut up," Mr. Vernon growled, then he walked over to Sean's sleeping form. "And you...wake up!"
But Sean didn't budge, and didn't open his eyes.
"Why don't you try calling his cellphone, sir? It's on vibrate," Daf told him.
"Wow, dirty underhanded - ness doesn't look that bad on you, y'know," said Kyle.
Daf smirked.
"It's all because of me, my underhanded and mischevious tendencies rub off on every person within my age group that I come in contact with," said Nick.
"What about people outside of your age group?" Daf asked.
"Oh, the older ones just get an excuse...or three, to yell at me," Nick replied,"so,everybody has some fun."
"You're very full of yourself, have I ever told you that?" Connie asked.
"I am aware that I am indeed, up to my neck in me," Nick replied.
"His head's filling up nicely, too, seeing as there's plenty of vacant room up there," Kyle muttered.
"Lick some onions!"
"Chomp on a pickle!"
"Is it lunchtime?" Sean asked,suddenly lifting his head off the desk.
"Yes, Mr. Dawson, it is," said Vernon. "And the only reason I brought Mr.Harrison and Miss Bender back here is so they can quickly retrieve their lunches and come back to my office to eat," he then glared at Nick,"and I believe I mentioned no dawdling."
"I wasn't the one who started the dawdling!" Nick protested. "Blame Kyle, he was the one who started the dawdling!"
"I wasn't aware of the rules that had been previously set down outside of the library,because I wasn't there! I was in here, like I was supposed to be, because here is where I was told to stay, so really I was only innocently making conversation!" Kyle explained.
"Have you ever considered being a lawyer?" Connie asked him. "Cuz you're very good at the arguing and the babbling with the big words."
"Nah, I'm too pure - of - heart to be a lawyer, we decided that would be Nick's profession," Kyle explained.
"I've been told I could do very well in that profession," Nick added.
"It's true," Kyle agreed,"he was told by his mother, his grandmother, myself, the telemarketers, the mailman, Mrs Mackenzie, the English teacher, Mr. Gilmore, the Science teacher, all of his dates, Nick's dates, not Mr.Gimore's - "
"ENOUGH!" Mr. Vernon roared.
So Kyle didn't say another word, but he noticed Daf watching him, and knowing that she'd enjoyed the show, he winked at her.
She bit her lip and quickly turned back around in her seat, then took her lunch bag out from underneath her desk and placed it in front of her.
When Nick, Connie and Mr. Vernon came back into his office, Nick and Connie plopped down in their chairs and Mr. Vernon went to sit back in his seat behind his desk.
"OK," said Vernon,"eat up."
"First, I wanna see what Connie's got," said Nick,"cuz if it's as bad as she's letting on, well, first I'll feel sorry for her, and then I'll probably laugh, and if I laugh with sandwich meat in my mouth, I'll choke."
"So nice to know you've got my back, Nick," Connie told him.
Nick just shrugged, and smirked in reply.
Connie then stared down at her own paper bag and grimaced.
She then turned to Nick.
"You sure you can't share?" she asked.
Nick rolled his eyes.
"I told you Bender," he said,"my Fritos, are my Fritos."
"So, I won't take the Fritos!" she promised. "I'll just have something else, like an apple or a granola bar or something!"
"Bender, just eat your own damn lunch!" Mr. Vernon barked.
"Sorry, Connie," said Nick,"but you won't find apples or granola bars or anything of any real nutritional value in my lunch."
"Why not?" Connie asked.
"Cuz I make my own lunch," he told her.
Despite herself, Connie smiled.
"C'mon, Bender, it can't be that bad," Nick told her "...can it?"
In response, Connie looked down at the brown paper bag in her lap, and let out a small, terrified squeak.
Nick groaned and snatched the lunch bag out of her lap, he then opened it and raised an eyebrow at what he saw.
"So," said Kyle,"what did you get?"
In the seat beside him, Sean shrugged and started pulling items out of his lunch bag.
"...Apple pie?" Kyle observed, staring at all the food the other boy was laying out in front of him. "Dude, you get apple pie?"
"His mother likes to spoil him," Daf told him, from her desk across the aisle.
"She does not spoil me!" Sean argued.
"Oh, but she does," said Daf,"she really, really does."
Sean rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Kyle.
"So, what did you get?" he asked.
Kyle looked into his lunch bag and smirked.
"Same as always," he said,as he started pulling the food out the brown paper bag.
"...Apple juice, an orange, bread, sugar, and Frosted Flakes."
"Ye gads," Daf muttered, grimacing.
"Does your mother...hate you?" Sean asked.
Kyle grinned as he put a handful of Frosted Flakes onto a piece of bread, then put another piece of bread on top.
"Nah," he replied, taking a bite of his sandwich,"she's just a little nuts."
"...A sandwich, looks like corn - beef to me, an apple, ooh, an ice pack, that must be there to keep the soda cold..." Nick observed,looking in Connie's lunch bag.
"What? That can't be right!" said Connie, snatching the bag away from him and looking through it.
"This is what you call a scary lunch, huh?" Nick asked.
"No, not at all! It's just,for my lunch, my mom always tries out some new recipe of hers, which usually means I have to land up eating lasagna that tastes like dog shit - "
"Watch your mouth, Bender!" Vernon barked.
" - Or some kinda three bean salad that smells like dog shit - "
"BENDER!"
"Sorry, sir," Connie mumbled, continuing to look through her lunch bag. Nick had been right, there was a corn - beef sanwich in a plastic Ziploc bag, an apple, a tin of Coke(that was being kept cold, thanks to the ice pack),some chocolate chip cookies wrapped in cellophane...and what looked like a small note.
Still dumbfounded, Connie took the note out and read it.
Dear Connie,
You didn't really think I was gonna let my own child go to Saturday detention with lasagna that tastes like dog crap, did ya? I just told your mother that i would make your lunch, in honor of this special occasion.
After all, we Benders have to boast our supremacy, otherwise, we wouldn't be Benders, and there'd also be no point in having supremacy.Anyway,say hi to Vernon for me. Love,
Dad
Connie grinned, and put the note back in her lunch bag.
"My dad says 'hi'," she told Vernon.
Mr. Vernon scowled and Nick burst out laughing.
"OK, it's settled," said Nick,"I have to meet this guy."
"You should," said Connie, grinning to herself. "You really should."
"Oh, that's exactly what should happen," muttered Vernon "...John Bender and Nick Harrison comparing notes on how to piss me off!"
"Oh, don't worry, sir," said Nick,"I like to piss everybody off, not just you. Personally, I don't believe in favoritism."
"Why do I believe that?" Connie muttered.
Nick smirked.
"OK..." he muttered, starting to look through his own lunch bag,"let's see what what I gave myself, here...HA HA, MY FRITOS! Hello, Mr. Frito, how are you today...?"
"Harrison, didn't your mother ever teach you any sort of manners at all?" Vernon growled, as he sipped his coffee."Like, not playing with your food?"
"Who's playing? I'm having a serious conversation here!" Nick insisted,gesturing to the chip he was holding.
"I wonder if his bedroom has padded walls, too," Connie mumbled.
"What did you say?" Nick asked.
"...Hmm? Me? Nothin'," she replied.
Suddenly, Vernon got up out of his chair.
"I have to go to the bathroom," he said.
"Putting that in memo form would've been just fine, sir," Nick told him.
"Harrison, can it!" Vernon snapped. "Now, I will be back in five minutes, and in those five minutes...you will have done nothing. You will not have said one word to eachother, you will not have gotten out of these chairs, and you will not have left this room, becuase if i found out that you have...the outcome will not be pleasant!"
With that, Vernon walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.
Connie then turned to Nick." '...Not be pleasant'?" she repeated.
"He's obviously running out of threats," said Nick."He gets that way around me."
Then Nick got up and walked behind Vernon's desk, then he looked over at Connie with a mischevious glint in his eye.
"Now, what do you say...we have a little fun?" he suggested.
"What kind of fun?" Connie asked.
" Looking - through - Vernon's - desk - kind - of - fun," Nick answered.
"But we can't do that!" Connie told him, as she got up and walked over him, behind the desk."Vernon said he'd be back in five minutes, that doesn't give us much time, now does it?"
Nick smirked."Oh, trust me," he said,"Vernon'll be a lot longer than five minutes."
"How do you know?" Connie asked.
Nick then pointed to the half - empty coffee cup on Vernon's desk.
"Cuz before detention started this morning, I snuck in here and slipped Ex - Lax into his coffee," he replied.
Sean,who was now bouncing his baseball up and down on the carpeted floor, unsuccessfully, walked over to Kyle, who was drawing something on his desk.
"That's called vandalism, y'know," Sean told him.
Kyle looked up at him and then watched as the baseball bounced pitifully on the carpeted floor.
"The reason your baseball isn't bouncing very well is because you're attempting to bounce it on a carpeted floor," he said "...that's called stupidity, y'know."
Sean glared at him for a moment, and then gazed at the desk.
"What're you drawing, anyway?" he asked.
"Well, there's no porn in this library, believe me, Nick and I have looked," said Kyle, still scratching his pen across the wood,"so I'm just going from memory."
Daf rolled her eyes, disgusted.
"So, what happened to your breakfast cereal - sandwich?" Sean asked.
"I ate it," Kyle replied, still drawing. "It was grrreat!"
Daf smirked.
"You're a strange individual, y'know - " Sean started.
" - Look, is there something you want, Your High - And - Mightiness?" Kyle asked.
Sean didn't say anything at first, he just took a chair from the desk in front of Kyle, brought it over to the side of his desk, and sat down on it, backwards.
"You've been here a few times, haven't you?" he asked.
Kyle stared at him.
"Yes...I have," he replied, slowly."I do go to this school, after all. What special school do you go to?"
"I meant saturday detention, moron!" Sean snapped."With a friend like Nick, I assume you've been here more than a few times, am I right?"
Kyle shrugged.
"I don't have much to do on saturdays, anyway," he replied.
"Don't you hang out with Nick?" Saf asked.
"Nick's always here!" Kyle replied.
"So you've definitely been here more than once?" Sean asked, wanting to make sure.
"Where Nick goes, he drags me along with him, now what do you want, Jocko?" Kyle asked.
"Simple," said Sean. "I wanna get outta here, and you're gonna help me."
OOOOH, so much mischief!
And yes, I know it's taken me a while to post this, I don't need reminding, you guys, I go as fast as I can.
But I'm going to England in two weeks for Spring break, so I've been busy trying to get myself together for that...as well as catching up on homework and stuff.
So PLEEEEASE, do 3 things for me...
1) Be patient
2) Know that I do love you
3) And review!
Muchos gracias.
- Ace's Buddy