Chapter 7:

Kotomi's guardian was standing very still in the living room directly under her room, an occasional blink being his only sign of movement.

My words to Kotomi spoke a lot more confidence than I felt about the plan. I mean, how exactly were we supposed to convince a tight-lipped, intimidating man with a suspicious looking trench coat to spill his guts? He was probably trained to keep his mouth shut about things like this.

Still, Kotomi was right about one thing.

We had to try.

I glanced over to my right side. Kotomi was also keeping perfect posture, her mouth visibly straining to keep itself closed.

After allowing guilt to fill me at allowing this to happen, I returned my gaze to the man in front of me. His solemn expression hadn't changed in the slightest. He seemed to be fully prepared for me to be nervous.

And that was what scared me.

"Um, senpai?"
Her guardian momentarily lost his stare. He shifted his posture to face our direction.

"Ah, Ichinose, Okazaki-san, what I can do for you?"

"We, well, we actually had something to say."
He sat himself down on the couch behind me. For whatever reason, he frowned. "Go on,"

"Well, I remember you telling me that my parents' death happened because of a mechanical failure. Is that right?"
"Yes," He nonchalantly adjusted his hat. "That is the description on the official report."
"Well, I wanted to ask you, well, you see…" She tightened her fists to calm her blood flow. "What do you know about the nature of the accident?"
Without context, such a question would sound confusing. If he only knew what was on the report, Kotomi's guardian would react rather incredulously to such a question.

Instead, he blinked.
"I can see you understand what the official report said," He lifted his hat to show his eyes again. "What more could you possibly want to know?"
"Don't try to hide it from us!" I yelled, prompting Kotomi to give me an angry glare. "I know you're hiding something from us! Don't you realize how much the accident is hurting her? Doesn't she deserve to know what happened?"
Her guardian lurched forward. "The plane crash was an accident."
His sureness stopped me from speaking. Kotomi, however, kept going.

"Senpai, I have arrived at the conclusion that this was far from an accident. Although I have no concrete evidence, various details I have found have lead me to believe that a person or a group may have conspired to have them killed."

I was kind of surprised to see her guardian this intense. After his relatively friendly greeting at the door, seeing him look so grim terrified me.

"If after the research you conducted, you have found no solid evidence to support your theory, then I'm afraid you should dismiss it."
I restrained a gasp in my throat. I should've realized after Kotomi's last statement he would've arrived at that conclusion. Still, hearing those words straight from his mouth filled me with unrestrained fear.

And after a few seconds, into anger.

"You're lying!" I slammed my hands on the table. "There's something else you know, isn't there? You've been using exact words just so you have an excuse to hide the truth. What really happened?!"
I threw my hands on the table again.
"What I have said is all I am allowed to say,"

He finished, causing me to take a step backwards in surprise. He cleared his throat before he continued. "I had suspected the nature Kotomi-san's research endeavors ever since hearing the speculation she made after reading a letter from her parents. Visiting her in her room not long ago confirmed my suspicions."

I don't know how Kotomi was keeping her composure. Yet, through everything he said, she kept the same posture, and the same expression planted on her face.

"Now, I won't deny the information I noticed while in there pertained to the concluding investigation. However, I would think it best if you do not pursue it any further."
"Why not?" Kotomi had lost her standing then. There was an edge to her voice, and tears were forming in the corners of her eyes.
"Your recovery was occurring at a steady rate until you started this investigation." He started to stand up. "Kotomi, per the request of your parents' will, I am obligated to protect you. And allowing you to continue an investigation that has only caused you to re-visit the emotional trauma you felt that day is not beneficial to your recovery."

A firm, sympathetic sigh left his mouth.

"If there was more compelling evidence to your theory, I might consider letting this go on. However, there is none. Thus, I need to prioritize your well-being above that. Do you understand?"
I was shocked to see how effortlessly he dodged and evaded the questions we threw at him. Thinking back, he must have been under some sort of obligation to keep secrets from us. With his words, he'd solidified the idea in our minds that we wouldn't know what actions he'd be taking next.

Even though he hinted he cared for Kotomi with those words, I wanted to be sure.

"Senpai," I followed Kotomi's tone of respect. "You don't have to answer this. However, I would like to know the answer.

I looked into his eyes. "How can I know that I can trust you to protect her?

He paused for a moment as he considered his answer. When he finally spoke, I shivered at the abruptness. "When I was young, sometime around your age, I was adopted by Kotomi's grandfather. My mother had died long ago from an illness, and my father, just that year, had died in a car accident. Even though they could've let child benefit services sort out my living arrangements, he decided to take me in instead. Although I didn't know it at the time, he'd owed my father a life debt that until then, he'd thought he could never re pay."

His eyes drifted to the ceiling. "I should have been thankful for what he had done. However, it wasn't that simple of a transition. Although I continued to excel at school, I despised him for a long time after my father had died. I felt he was trying to replace something in my heart that he could never hope to be. No matter what happened, he could never be my father."

He forced his eyes opened. "So I rebelled. I fought against him. I disobeyed every order he gave me, I'd speak rudely to him, and rebel against his attempts to be kind. I just saw them as a foolish attempt at making me happy. All those years, even by the time I started attending college, I never realized how much he cared for me."
"It all came crashing down when I was eighteen years old. I received a phone call telling me my father was on his death bed."

"I dropped the phone, and ran to where he was as fast as I could. When I saw him in his room, I had never seen anyone look so fragile. He was being sustained by inhalers, and his body looked weaker than I had ever seen it before. His eyes, however, were as strong as ever. He looked at me with a warm smile, blinking happily at the thought I came to see him."
"Restraining tears, I sat on the stool next to him. For a while, I didn't say anything. He spoke first."
"'I understand now that I could never have been a replacement for your father. Maybe all this time… I was trying too hard to be someone I could never be. I thought, I thought that would be the best way to pay off my debt to him. To continue the legacy as a father he had started before he died. But, now I realize that I caused you nothing but pain in my attempts.'"

"His smile grew weak. He lifted his hand up to my face, and gently stroked my cheek. "'And I'm sorry… I am just grateful that after everything that happened, you turned into a fine young man.'"

"'No,'"

"I rebuked him harsher than I expected myself to.

"'You're wrong. I was the one who made all the mistakes. I never grew up past being a grumpy kid without his father… I'm the one who caused all the pain you felt. The pain I felt was pain I caused on my own!'"

"I purposefully let tears run out of my eyes."

"'You only tried your best for me! And I disregarded everything; your authority, your love for me, everything that ever signified you as my father, I denied. I… I'm the one who should be sorry."

"He didn't say anything at first. Instead, he squeezed my arm as hard as he could, and smiled."
"'I guess… we're even then.'"
"The doctor dashed to the side of the bed, and tried to give him the inhaler. My tears didn't stop as I realized time was running out."

"'I promise, father… I promise I'll never forget my duties again. Someday, somehow, I'll pay you back for all the pain I caused you… I'll re-pay you for being a father to me all this time.'"

"He closed his eyes, and opened his mouth. The words never left him, but I knew what he wanted to say."

"'Thank you,'"

"That was the last I ever heard from him."

The atmosphere had grown dark around us. I felt like I couldn't move. In all the times I'd seen him, I had never thought he could say something so genuine.

But he did. He'd told us his deepest fears because of something like this.

There was no doubt he cared.
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't be telling you these things. I… I don't want you to feel any sympathy for me. I just…"
He took two slow steps towards the kitchen.
"I just… Wanted to show you I cared."
He let out a deep sigh. He then concluded by referring back to the original subject.

"I suggest you stop this research. I understand you want to be sure you know the whole truth about your parents' death, but I don't think it's healthy to follow rumors. If there is any sort of research into the matter, then…"
He stayed quiet. "Never mind, good afternoon,"
He walked away, his lumbering footsteps echoing through the house. We were left alone.

The housekeeper glanced over at Kotomi's guardian as he walked past, and glared at both of us before walking to the other door out of the living room.

We weren't sure what to think about everything that had just happened. I tried to convince myself I should be angry at him for not telling us what we wanted to know.

But how was I supposed to be angry after hearing something like that?
We walked upstairs back to her room. Just like before, she closed the door behind us.

For a long time, we sat in silence, waiting desperately for the other to speak. Finally, she spoke up first.
"I want to continue the investigation,"
I glared at her, shock prevalent on my face.

"I know, I know, I was affected by what he said too. And I'm not continuing this because I don't trust him,"
The intensity in my stare eased somewhat.

"I'm continuing this because after what we've uncovered, I don't believe I should stop this investigation just because we haven't found enough in a short time. After all… wouldn't a killer do his best to cover his tracks? Especially if he's a high class individual? I can't give up until I know for sure either way what happened."
I know she wasn't, but Kotomi started to almost feel unapproachable. Like she'd closed off her emotional self to me, and replaced it with a cold, investigative side. I was probably jumping to conclusions.

But if she could still say that after her guardian's story, I was sure my theory couldn't be farther from the truth.

"Do what you want,"
I jumped up from the bed, and stormed towards the door.

"Tomoya-kun, wait!"
I stopped at the door. She hadn't meant to convey a hidden message, but from that, I realized there was something I needed to tell her.

"You're doing this even after everything that was just said. Do you realize how dangerous this could all be?'

She blinked, her pupils widening at each and every word. I quickly realized I needed to stop.
"You can do this if you want." I sighed, and then continued with further determination. "But don't lose sight of who you really are!"
I dashed out the door before I could see her face.

Her guardian reacted with slight surprise as he heard footsteps down the stairs, and out the door.

I realized I was out late. My dad would probably be too drunk to care, but I needed some sleep. I needed some time to think.

I opened the door to my house, and surprisingly, my father was standing up next to the counter top, his eyebrows furrowed. Two surprises in one day. My father was actually awake, and he seemed upset with me. The sight was so shocking; I almost forgot why I was here.

The uneasy aura he gave off reminded me.

"You didn't call me to let me know you'd be coming home late." His voice was still raspy, but dead serious.

"I'm sorry," I ran up the stairs.
"That's not enough!" He yelled up to me. "What if you'd been hit by a car while wandering around? How would I know you'd ever gone out?!"
"Don't try to pretend you cared!"
I spat out angrily down to where he was.

"You're a jerk and a loser who cares more about a bottle than he cares about me!"

This wasn't an unusual occurrence. I'd spoken this harshly to him, and he'd spoken this harshly to me.

So why did I feel like these words were harsher than before?

"Tomoya, that's not true! I wouldn't say these things if I didn't-"
The door crashed behind me.

I jumped on my bed, realizing the night sky was unusually quiet. I took a quick glance out the window, and the fierceness of my words began to dawn upon me. It wasn't unusual for us to fight. We fought all the time, exchanging even fiercer words than the ones we had exchanged downstairs. However, after seeing Kotomi and remembering our promise, the words I uncaringly threw at my old man seemed to carry a deeper pain than before. As I wept, I leaned my head against the window.

"Why? Why can't I do anything right? Why…."