A/N: Hey! ;)

Back on updating. Thanks for waiting. Every comments, favorites and following, I loved them all.

Sorry for not updating for soooooo long. I have no excuse so don't burn down my home

.

Ninja or Civilian?

The single question that I still can't answer, even now.

I signed dramatically while I was eating dango with Shinku and our mother chatting in the back. Since our first meeting, I usually find him at the park, playing with sand. My friendship with Shinku grow like a sprout, slowly yet steady. Shinku is not really like active children, he would prefer to use his time molding sand, which suit me well. I'm not that enthusiastic about running around silly too. At least, I can say that we are friendly and have a healthy relationship, unlike the constant teasing from both our parents since they always said about love and all. It didn't bother me at all, but Shinku did turn bright red with his mother teasing. Recently Hikari, my own mother, is now turning her target to the little shy boy since she couldn't get a satisfied reaction from me.

Poor Shinku-kun, he really is an easy target in teasing because of his soft nature.

I later found out that his family's name is Masaki, completely normal civilian household. Both his parents don't have these eyes. Although, I think Shinku's unique eye come from his ancestor who is a ninja. To be honest, I'm a little relieved that his family isn't a ninja clan. The kid that has such a kind heart doesn't need to go out to experience those cruel world.

Today, Shinku shyly invites me to dango. I look around and find this place warm and welcoming. Many people, including the ninjas even, goes in and out of the shop. Sometime they are here to buy the dango back, others may wander around, waiting for someone. This store is popular to both civilian and shinobi. It's not impossible that it becomes everyone's meeting place.

I did catch a glimpse of purple here around Dango store sometime when I pass through while shopping with mother. I wonder if that is Anko.

"So Ayumu-chan's Oji-san is a ninja?"

I choke my dango. The sudden questioning make my voice shudder. "W-What?! Why do you want to know?"

"I'm just wondering?" Shinku question, blinking innocently.

"Well...he is, but he doesn't work anymore." I awkwardly answered.

Shinku blinked again and ask,"So will you become a ninja?"

"Dunno, maybe not." I shrugged my shoulder. Of course, the choice of being a civilian is appealing enough. "Why? Are you interested?"

"Well" He ducks his head shyly. "I just want to be stronger, like you"

"I don't think I can be anyone's role model" I smile dryly without looking at him. I don't want to be something other than 'dull' to anyone. It would be a pain in the ass to move around without somebody say 'Oh shit, that's the genius child' or 'Oh hell, what is that piece of trash doing here?'

Yep, being general is the key.

"No! You are cool. While everyone avoids me because of my eyes, you just become friend with me." He insisted. A sad look that comes across his mother face only a few second before vanishing couldn't escape my eyes.

The question that cross my mine awhile is the uniqueness of Shinku's eyes.

Is the color of the eyes are that scary? My curiosity pops out as I kept the wonder to myself. Maybe Shinku's family has some kind of hazy background. I not sure of this but seeing his mother twitch when someone mention about the eyes make me gain more question. I need to observed some more to confirm my suspicious though. And right now is not the time for it.

"Hey, there is no need to become a ninja to be cool. You can design a kimono pattern like Hiroko-baasan too. I think it will be great if you make them since you are good with that." I suggest while aunt Hiroko smile kindly when I mention her.

"But I want to-... I want to quickly grow up and..." His face become bright red as he duck as his, avoiding my glance.

I urged him to continued with pure curiosity."And...?"

Shinku still refuses to speak. He avoids my eye and timidly nibble his dango.

What the hell?

A soft snicker from both young mothers make me pout at them. "What are you laughing about Kaa-chan, Hiroko-baasan?"

"Oh, you will know when you have grown up Ayumu-chan." Hiroko, Shinku's mother, said with her gentle face.

I blink.

Oh, that phrase...they are talking like there is a love interest between me and Shinku! That's not right! How can it be that way when he is just five, not to mention his blushing habit too. It is his nature to blush and avoid eye contact, I swear! I mentally sighed. Does the mother in this world like matchmaking that much?

Maybe Narutoverse's social ideal is not the same...?

While in the world where I came from, our freedom and survival rate is greater than in the narutoverse. We could be able to choose to or not to marry. However, in the world, I am currently in, it may be that the danger from the environment is high, the people then tend to push the marriage in order to produce more child. It could be the cause of why the kids like Sakura and Ino is so obsessed with Sasuke.

Hmm, interesting.

I know that it is his own choice, but I can't stand a kind child like him becoming a shinobi when I could help. It's just too cruel to him, so I intend to influence him a little bit. "Shinku-kun, being ninja is hard. You should do something else. Maybe being kimono-designer like Hiroko-baasan is more suitable for you since you have such a taste in art."

"Y-you are thinking that I'm not suited to be one?"

"Well, everything has its reason, isn't it? What is your reason to become a ninja? I really don't think 'strong' is the answer." I munch my dango absently. Even Sasuke wants to become strong to kill that 'man'. If anyone wants to become a ninja, I doubt that with weak ambition, they will not survive in that cruel world. I pick up another stick of dango and add. "I know that everyone seek to be strong and such, but what is the real reason for you to become 'strong', becoming strong is futile when you don't have any goal."

I do get that feeling when I join the college. Since I really doesn't have any interest in study anything special, I end-up not satisfying with my current life. Everything I do seems annoying, and I quickly ended my college life without experiencing them.

"I do have a goal."

I was caught off guard by his soft yet firm answer. I stared at him and ask for confirmation. "Huh? Really?"

"I want to protect my family, of course, and well...you too, Ayumu-chan." He smiles innocently, unaware of the fact that there will be something that working hard isn't enough to protect our family.

"My, my, Shinku-kun is growing so fast." The chuckle of our parents didn't enter my mind when Shinku's words took me by surprise. I start to question my resolve in choosing the way of life with the event that with occurred in the future.

Orochimaru's invasion...

Pein's attack...

Do I have any guarantee that those situations won't harm my family?

No, I have none.

If I am a civilian, will I be able to protect them?

No, I can't, being a civilian is powerless against ninjas.

Damn, I wish that I reborn without memory. The decision will be easier to choose.

I always think of myself as a coward person. I tend to avoid the difficult road or dangerous one and simply choose another path that I am comfortable with. Maybe that's part of mine is pulling myself from choosing dangerous path and secure in becoming civilian. Not to mention I need to avoid the rookies.

But...being a civilian will not be safe anymore because of the upcoming danger.

Shit, making the decision is harder than I thought. I felt like my head is going to explode.

Hikari is really confused with her daughter.

She already knows that Ayumu is a unique child, there is no others like her. She can crawl after just three months old and Play the old man game with Oji-san when she is almost one year old instead of building blocks like other kids. Her intelligence and insight could be compatible to Nara, and as her mother, Hikari is proud of it.

But sometimes, she cannot help difference in her attitude and personality, even the maturity that the child couldn't possess, definitely didn't pass down from neither Hikari or Masao.

But recently, Ayumu becomes weird. No, that's not the right word since her daughter is weird from the beginning. Ayumu becomes weirder. She often daydreams, like she is in deep thought which is wrong. Her daughter isn't at the age where she would have to stress herself, she should instead run around like what other child Hikari brought Ayumu along to the outside, her daughter would always avoid. Every time, Hikari has to literary drag Ayumu to go out. Her daughter paranoid would eventually perk up. Ayumu would cling to Hikari with a strange nervousness. Her confidence daughter seems to scare of the crowed or other people. Other than the little cutie Shinku-kun, her daughter never seem to interact with another kid. Or, didn't see any purpose of approaching other children.

Children cannot just sit in the house, they need sunshine! And LOTS of friends!

She did catch her daughter staring at certain 'something' sometime when she was busy picking out groceries though. Yet, Hikari still can't get a grip of what she is staring.

Her daughter's abnormality personality causes her to worried. What if her lovely daughter, lack of friends and decided to become some insensitive brat, walk into the dark path, become a gang member of dark organization and killing-off people like ants?!

OH HELL NO! That will not happen to her child, ever.

That's what the young mother thinks when she finally reach her conclusion.

Even her daughter cry to tear from this, she will cure her daughter social awkwardness.

And she knows who would help.

"Kaa-chan, where are we going? Is there somewhere you need to go after this?" Her tiny duaghter asked when Hikari suddenly changed her destination.

"Well, I need to get something and meet with someone. You don't mind a quick detour, right?"

"I don't but..." Ayumu eyed Hikari suspiciously. Hikari, afraid of being found out, quickly turn away, grabbing her daughter's hand and proceed to drag the four year old along.

"Alright! Let's go, there is no time to waste!"

Maybe she should take Ayumu away from Otou-san for a while. She is too smart for her own good!

I knew my mother is plotting something...I should have taken the escape route when I have the chances.

With the thing happening, I can't go anywhere.

"Hey! Tell me your name already!" The blond hair brat continued to pursue me with a loud voice. Her accent is a bit weak, but is still quite good for four years old. Her face is still chubby from baby fat.

Is that the demand I heard?

"..." I didn't answer. Yes, I know I am acting rude here, but this is unavoidable.

Damn! Damn! The future mind reader kunoichi is talking to ME.

Kami, I really want to cry, hard. So much for the fucking 'Avoiding The Canon-Character' plan. My mother is ruining it all.

I have no problem with the canon character, really, some of them I do admire their ability. However, it does not mean that I would like to be friend with them.

PLEASE, I like my life to be plain, quiet if possible.

She continued to poke me on the cheek to gain attention. 'Nosy brat,' I hiss mentally. I avoid every eye contact and proceed to stare intently to the flower vase in front of me as if it is so interesting. And yet, she just keeps getting on my nerve. "Are you dreaf? Tou-san, is she dreaf?"

"Now, now, don't point your finger at someone and called them dreaf. It is rude, Ino." Inoichi, who sit in the opposite side of the table sighed. His pale blue eyes without a trace of iris hold a warmth as he finally tears his daughter's finger from my face.

Thank goodness.

Although, if I may correct you, Inoichi-san. She didn't point, Inochi-san. She pokes me, poke me right on the cheek.

"But she doesn't answer my question!"

"Well, she might be shy. It is the first time you two have meet so don't be in rush okay?"

Inoichi eyed me with wearily eye. He may be curious of my isolated personality since I didn't show this kind of attitude when I was young.

I try to at least nod to him with a nervous smile as he describes my personality to be. I still don't want to be rude to the head of the Yamanaka clan after all. I inwardly cursed my mother for leaving me in this hell to join Ino's mother (I could careless about her name, not in that kind of mood to remembers name when a spawn from hell is poking my face like some kind of unidentified creature) in the kitchan, properly chatting about some rumors (such as 'Whoa, did you know who is the hottest ninja right now?').

Inoichi clear his throat and ask a question. "So how was your day, Ayumu-chan?"

"Oh! So your name is Ayumu." "I know the reason of why you don't want to tell me your name, you are embarrassed since your name sound soooo mas-...mas.."

"Masculine" I add, my eyebrow twitch in irritation.

"Yeah, that mascu-thingy." Ino snapped her finger, although it doesn't make a sound. Then she face-palms her face. "Oh man, now you sound like Shikamaru!"

Now, she has mentioned another cannon character name.

Shit.

I cursed inwardly. I don't wish to come any closer to another character soon if all of them are like the little Yamanka here.

"Last time I heard, Ayumu was a unisex name, and I am not embarrassed." I resort to her talking and quickly answer to Inoichi. "I'm fine Yamanaka-san. Although my arm will be sore from holding the grocery tomorrow, I think I will be fine."

Now, I sound like a robot. In Inoichi's presence, I really can't truly relax. I know that he is currently working in TI division. The mind reading jutsu is not what I too afraid of, it's his kind look that will let me lower my guard.

If I slipped, off I go.

So please, stop trying to talk to me...

"So you want to play? What are we going to play? Dolls? Hey, are you listening to me?" Ino puffed her cheek with such cuteness as she grabs my hand. "I want Shika to play doll with me, but he said that he is a boy! So you should play dolls with me since you are a girl."

Oh shit.

Ino grin as she proceeds to pull out of the chair to play with her. When I turn to Inoichi for help. He only smiles and mouth 'have fun'.

I paled as she pulls me toward her room.

Please-Make-Her-Stop!

I can only inwardly regret my trust toward my mother.

.

.

.

I am mentally and physically utterly- exhausted.

Playing with Yamanaka Ino is absolutely one thing that does not include in 'want to do' list. Trust me, playing doll with this girl - 'terrify' is the word.

Yamanaka Ino often describe as a charismatic, friendly and the worst gossiper ever. I do have to admit that some part of her have a little charisma. It clearly shows how she will grow into.

The loud and super bitchy kind of girl.

And no, I do not intend to be mean. I never really judge people based on their personality if they don't cause any harm to me. I like how she cares about Sakura's feeling and didn't express her affection toward Sasuke openly when she think it will affect Sakura (Which, in fact, happen afterward). Her royal to her friend is admirable, really, it's just hard when my personality and trait doesn't mix with her quite well.

"Ino-chan is exactly a duplicate of Etsuko. Cheerful, funny and above all, lovely." My mother hum happily, dragging my ragged body toward our home "You should get along with her just fine, Ayumu."

"I do not." I snapped head violently, disagree.

Hikari can only sighed. "Now, don't be like that. Ino-chan doesn't mean to hurt you."

"I really don't know, kaa-chan. My trust for that hers went to zero when she starts to cry just because I refuse to eat her sand food." I deadpan. "Not to mention the thing she throws at me because she is pissed." Super Accuratly, I add mentally, rubbing the bump on my head to soothe the pain.

Wonderful.

Truly Wonderful.

And you know what, I think I know the answer of my unanswered question.

"Kaa-chan, I want to become a ninja."

Hikari widens her eyes in shock and drop her groceries, making them hit the ground rather...hard.

Did I just hear the eggs we brought crack?

Hmm, guess we won't be having any egg soon.