A/N: Would you look at that, I didn't make you wait months for an update :P Although I am going on holiday for a little more than a month so there won't be another update for a while – there's one part left…hopefully I'll have it done by the end of Feb!
Also, just a disclaimer – as an Aussie I know very little about the American college system and I feared that educating myself about it would ruin my plans for the story, so if something is wrong, (which I'm 100% sure it is), please ignore it…or if it really bothers you and you figure out a way around it that works with the story PM me or hit me up on tumblr and we'll figure it out :)
I've pretty much thrown my plan out the window and I'm sure it shows…but these characters have a mind of their own :P
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Santana thought that meeting Brittany's parents was going to be fucking awful and like every horrible meet-the-parents movie scene she'd ever seen. She knew she'd have to meet them eventually, because this thing with Brittany is serious, (Santana can hardly believe that they've been together almost six months now), and unlike herself Brittany actually has parents...but Santana was still fucking bricking it. She thought that they would be stuck up entitled assholes who wouldn't even want to breathe the same air as her Lima Heights ass. Every horrible scenario ran through her mind and haunted her dreams.
But in fact it wasn't awful at all. It actually went reasonably well.
(Of course that might be because she was introduced as Brittany's friend, not her girlfriend.)
That had been Brittany's idea, one Santana initially welcomed, but one that slowly and steadily bore itself into her insecurities. Brittany had gone to great pains to assure Santana that it wasn't for any reason other than to spare her girlfriend the third degree they were both certain to receive if her parents knew about them. And that was if her parents reacted to the news well. They would be in for a whole heap more shit if that revelation doesn't go down so well. Oh, and there was also the little fact that Brittany isn't exactly out to her family, which doesn't really surprise Santana because she knows that her girlfriend is pretty emotionally disconnected from her parents. And maybe just a little bit afraid of her dad and his disapproval. Or a lot.
(One night late at the dance studio they were sitting together, Santana with her back against the mirrored wall and Brittany lying with her head in her lap, and the blonde quietly told her girlfriend about how distant her relationship with her parents has been ever since the death of her older brother in a car accident five years ago. How she feels like her brother's death pushed them further apart instead of closer together. Santana gently brushed her fingers through soft blonde hair as Brittany tried to keep her voice from breaking while she poured her heart out about how she's only a cheerleader because it gives her something to talk about with her mum, and how now she avoids being alone with her dad because they have nothing to say to each other and all she can think about is her brother and how good he was at everything he did and how she's not.
Santana knows all about not feeling good enough and rejected by parents, and she'd pulled Brittany up and held her close and kissed her hair and whispered that she is perfect just the way she is and told her that she loves her.)
(It's the same thing Brittany did for her months ago when Santana laid out her entire sorry life story for her, telling Brittany all about her dad getting diagnosed and passing away. And how her mother became a shell of a person who drank too much and brought terrible boyfriends and their drugs home to beat them both up. And how she can still remember everything about the day her mum told her to pack up her backpack because they were going on a holiday, only to be dropped off at her aunt's house and never see her mother again.)
But hearing about Brittany's parents and actually meeting them were two very different things, as Santana discovered.
They were still intimidating as fuck, but meeting them in an informal way, (walking Brittany home after school and being asked by her mum to stay for dinner because she was eager to know this new friend her daughter kept mentioning), made it a lot easier. They were friendly and charming and interested and not at all condescending, which Santana found pleasantly surprising. She has been talked down to enough in her life by all sorts of douchebags in all sorts of ways that she's good at picking up even the most veiled insult thrown her way. But besides a few awkward pauses when Brittany's sister Leah made some unintentionally disparaging comments about things she'd heard about Lima Heights, (all true things though, which made Santana simultaneously embarrassed and amused), Brittany's parents didn't bat an eyelid at Santana's obvious proximity to the poverty line.
Brittany was pretty happy with how it all went and was glad that her parents seemed to approve of Santana. Santana felt like it couldn't have gone any better, except of course if Brittany's parents had have actually known that she was having sex with their daughter and still approved, but she was relieved nonetheless.
One unforeseen consequence of the dinner however, was that the more time Santana spent in Brittany's world, (in her house or with her friends or family), the more she realises that she can't be a Lima Loser if she wants to stay with Brittany. Brittany is going places and Santana wants to go with her, and not just on her coattails, dragging Brittany down. She wants Brittany to be as proud of her as Santana is of the blonde and she wants to be proud of herself and she knows that won't happen if she doesn't go to college.
So Santana stayed up most of that night looking through the stack of college brochures Miss P had given her and made a shortlist of schools she liked and that she could possibly get a scholarship, because this whole thing might be a shot in the fucking dark but she knows that even if she does get in there's no way she could go without a scholarship. She also knows that Brittany is going to New York, (Julliard has pretty much been waiting for her to graduate for two years), so really, Santana's choices of schools are pretty narrowed down if she wants to be near her girlfriend.
But she's going to try. Now that Brittany's in her life she's going to fucking try because she has too much to lose if she doesn't.
-x-
"Santana honey, I want to tell you that your boobs look amazing in that shirt. They almost look fake. You could be working at Hooters rather than this place."
If that comment had come from anyone other than a moderately intoxicated April Rhodes she probably would have messed with their food or drinks like she's done countless times, but it's April Rhodes, so Santana just chuckles and rolls her eyes with a playfully sarcastic "thanks".
She's spending her short break at work keeping April company and starts to flip through the bunch of headshots that the older woman had thrust into her hands a moment ago asking her to pick the one that looks the best. Apparently April is once again attempting to kick start her singing/acting career but from the photos Santana is looking at she could be mistaken for assuming the woman is applying for Playboy.
"Um April, I don't think these are technically headshots."
She discreetly holds up one of the photos, April in a rather provocative pose and scantily clad in lingerie.
"Sweet baby Jesus I gave you the wrong envelope."
Santana shakes her head with a smile, offering the pile of photos back.
"Those are a sneaky little surprise for my husband," April adds with a wink as she reaches out to collect them. "Gotta keep things exciting. But speaking of breasts, how's your girl doing?"
Santana scoffs at the random change in subject, even if she is used to it with April, but in the next second she's thinking of Brittany and a huge grin is blooming across her face. She can actually feel herself soften at the thought of her girlfriend and she wants to roll her eyes at herself for being such a love struck dope, but she doesn't because fuck it, Brittany Pierce loves her and it's pretty fucking awesome.
So she tells April just that and is about to tell her about the meeting of the parents when her phone beeps with a message in her pocket. She finishes her sentence and slides the phone out, surprised to find that there are actually four missed calls and two texts that her phone neglected to buzz for, all from Puck and Mike.
Her thoughts instantly go to Brittany, wondering if something happened to her girlfriend, but the panic only lasts until she opens the last text from Boy Chang.
Quinn broke up with Puck and he's pretty fucked. Come to the field asap.
-x-
"I'm going to fucking kill her."
Santana paces in front of Brittany's car, her arms crossed tight across her chest, but she doesn't miss the conflicted look on her girlfriend's face.
"Look, I know she's your friend but fuck her. She broke up with him for no reason. He's fucking shattered Brittany. She ripped his fucking heart out."
Santana thinks back to last night when she'd gotten April to drop her off at the old baseball field behind the elementary school. Mike and Puck had been sitting on the bleachers, Puck with a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels and a bloodied fist. She'd stayed out there with them for an hour or so while Puck slowly and incoherently recalled for her what had happened. Then she'd driven both boys home, (Mike felt like he should be drinking in sympathy), leaving Puck's car at his house and then walking home. She hasn't heard from him since. Hopefully he's still sleeping it off.
"I've never seen him like this."
Brittany nods, and when she speaks her voice is soothing and reasonable, in stark contrast to Santana's.
"I know he's upset San, they both are, Quinn was crying all night. But it's not for no reason."
"No good fucking reason," Santana mutters. "All to please her stupid fuckface dad."
As Santana had made her way to the old field last night, she'd felt panicked and jittery but kept telling herself that it was fucking stupid because obviously Mike's texts were bullshit. Maybe Puck and Quinn had had a bad fight or something and Mike had just misunderstood but there was no way they had broken up…they were Puck and Quinn, and as revolted by their love as she'd always been, she'd come to believe that it was real and that it was the kind that lasts forever.
And then she'd taken one look at her best friend and known immediately that it was true, feeling something in herself deflate and extinguish. Something that felt a little like hope. Because she'd always thought that if Puck and Quinn could make it then so could she and Brittany. Then maybe she could get into college and they could live happily ever after like those fucking Disney movies.
But Puck and Quinn didn't make it.
Brittany slides off the bonnet of her car and reaches out for Santana's hand, bringing a halt to her pacing, waiting until the brunette finally meets her eye.
Santana feels herself calm down slightly now that she's staring into her girlfriend's eyes, but she's still got so much anger surging through her she can feel her hands shaking, no doubt Brittany can too.
"I know you're upset for your friend but Quinn is my friend and she didn't make this decision on a whim, San. She's been thinking about it for a while, even before she decided she wanted to go to Yale."
Santana takes a step back, pulling her hand out of Brittany's grasp.
"So what, you knew she was going to do this?"
"No, I mean she'd talked to me about it but–"
"Oh, and you just didn't feel like telling me that she was going to break my best friend's heart?"
"It's not for me to tell –"
Santana scoffs and turns away. She doesn't want this to turn into a fight between her and Brittany but she just can't fucking believe any of this. And if she's being honest she's a little shocked with how upset she is about this whole thing. Fuck, she doesn't even like Quinn. Although that's not really true anymore. And she kind of feels like she's been duped. It took a long time for her to believe that Quinn had actually changed and was no longer the stuck up bitch she used to be, but now Santana knows she was fooled and it was all bullshit, because in a few months Quinn is going off to the same college her Dad went to and she's going to follow the perfect little path her parents planned out and paid for and she'll leave Puck and everyone else in her rear-view mirror and never fucking look back. Fuck that.
But just as her anger is about to bubble over she feels fingers brush her own again and exhales a long breath, some of her rage finally dissipating at the gentle touch. She doesn't want to push Brittany away over something that has nothing to do with them.
(Although in some ways it feels like it has everything to do with them.)
(Which is really fucking scary.)
She laces their fingers together and turns back to face the girl she loves, the girl she is so scared of losing.
"I just don't see how any of this makes sense, Britt. Quinn's not leaving for months. And just because she's leaving doesn't mean they have to break up. We both know Puck would follow her to China if that's where she wanted to go."
"She doesn't want him to follow her," Brittany says sadly.
Santana shakes her head, trying to understand and really fucking trying not to freak out about there being a deeper level to Brittany's understanding of Quinn's motives.
"Quinn feels…" Brittany trails off, searching for the right word. "Lost. She feels like she's been lost for a really long time. Her family puts her under a lot of pressure, you know that. She wants to find the person she's supposed to be and she thinks she needs to do that by herself at college…not with Puck."
"She's going to avoid her family's pressure by going to the college they were planning to send her to since before she was born?"
"Yale is a really good school. And it's far enough away from her parents that they won't really be in her life, breathing down her neck all the time."
Santana nods. She understands this when Brittany says it so calmly and rationally. And she knows that Quinn didn't really break up with Puck in as many words, (but telling someone that you've decided where you're going for college and that you don't want a long-distance relationship or for them to come with you has pretty much the same result as telling them to get fucked).
Brittany tugs on their joined hands and pulls Santana into her body, strong arms wrapping around her middle and holding her close. Santana feels herself melt into the embrace, just like every time Brittany holds her.
"That's not going to happen to us. I don't ever want to leave you behind."
Of course Brittany knows exactly why Santana is so upset and scared, and of course she whispers the most perfect fucking thing into her ear.
But they're just words, and a lot has to go right for them to be true, more than has ever gone right for Santana. So even though Brittany is holding her and saying perfect things, Santana can't quite make herself believe that everything is going to be okay.
(But she does know that she's still going to try like fuck to make it okay.)
-x-
"This is some fucked up shit when an Asian is copying my maths homework. You're a disgrace to your race Mikey."
Mike just rolls his eyes and continues to copy Santana's work, scribbling furiously in his own notebook, while Puck lets out a low chuckle at Santana's side. She's glad to see him smile. It's been a month or so since he and Quinn ended things and he's still pretty messed up but he's getting through it.
Apparently Quinn is still pretty cut up about it too, at least according to Brittany. Not that Santana asks, because she's ridiculously stubborn and loyal to a fault and still super fucking pissed at Quinn. But Brittany is Brittany, lovely and thoughtful and kind, and she asks how Puck is doing and tells Santana how Quinn is doing because she knows that Santana is a little bit secretly worried about her old enemy since somewhere along the way they actually became friends. Not that she'll ever admit that.
"Hey Santana, I didn't know you wanted to be a doctor."
Santana's head snaps up from her lunch at Mike's comment. Nobody knows about that except for Brittany. Not even Puck.
"What the fuck are you talking about Boy Chang?"
Mike picks up a piece of paper from Santana's folder and it's then that she realises that she left a draft of one of her college application essays in there. Which is exactly what Mike is now holding up.
"Your college essay is really good."
In an instant Santana is reaching across the cafeteria table and snatching it from between his fingers, scrunching it up in her hands and putting it in the pocket of her jeans.
Mike and Puck just stare, not sure what to make of any of it.
"College essays? What the fuck? Since when do you want to go to college?"
Santana winces, sensing the edge in Puck's tone. There's a bunch of reasons why she never said anything about this before, (the biggest one being her own pride because she doesn't know how the fuck she's going to deal with it if she doesn't get in), but it's also now a bit of a touchy subject with him given the whole Quinn situation. She doesn't want him to feel like she's planning on leaving him too…even though in reality that's exactly what she's doing.
So she slips back into her usual nonchalant demeanour and shrugs.
"I figured I'd give it a shot."
Puck considers her answer with a nod of his head, but she knows he can see right through her.
"Which schools are you applying for?"
Santana pretends to think about it, like she can't remember their names, when really there are only two colleges she's looking at, (Columbia and NYU), and she has everything about their pre-med programs memorised.
"A bunch. Some on the east coast and some out west."
Puck nods again and it makes Santana more than a little nervous, trying to gauge how he's going to react, while Mike picks up on the tension and gives them a bullshit excuse about needing the library and leaves them alone. Like Mike has ever been in the library.
"Is this about Brittany?"
Santana feels her heartbeat pick up and her muscles tense. She's not sure how to answer that because it kind of is but it also kind of isn't. It's about making a life for herself, but she wouldn't be doing it if not for Brittany.
Puck shakes his head at her silence, rubbing the back of his neck.
"You know she's just going to fuck you over in the end, San."
That helps Santana find her voice quick fucking smart, because she won't let anyone talk shit about Brittany and their relationship. Not even Puck.
"Fuck off Puck, you don't know anything about it."
But he just laughs, and it's so condescending that Santana wants to punch him.
"What? You think you're any different from me? That Brittany is any different from Quinn? You think that you can just go to a fancy college and become a doctor and suddenly you'll be like her? You'll belong with her?
"Shut your fucking mouth Puck."
"You can't be that fucking stupid to plan your life around someone like Brittany. I was and look what happened to me. And is Brittany changing her plans to be with you? No. She's still. fucking. going. San, whether you go with her or not."
Santana stands, not wanting to have any more of her worst fears thrown in her face, telling Puck to go fuck himself as she storms out of the cafeteria, avoiding the eyes of her peers who noticed the disturbance.
She heads outside, needing some fresh air, a chance to breathe and calm down her thumping heart to ease some of the tension tightening her muscles.
It's one thing for all of those doubts and fears she has to swirl through her own head, keeping her up at night, but having them said aloud by someone else, by her best friend, just makes them feel insurmountable and leaves her feeling ten times as shit.
(Because really, deep down, she thinks that maybe everything Puck said is true.)
-x-
"I really like your sweet lady kisses," Brittany breathes out before capturing Santana's lips in another passionate kiss, their bodies pressing together in the most wonderful way.
Santana groans her agreement, sliding her hand down to Brittany's ass and squeezing while she pulls her girlfriend's hips into her own.
They're in the tree house again, still fully clothed because Brittany's parents are due home soon and while the blonde seems to enjoy the thrill of almost being caught, Santana most definitely doesn't. She's become more comfortable being in the Pierce's house and in their presence, but she doesn't even want to think about how fast her ass would probably be chased out of there if Brittany's parents caught her on top of their daughter.
(Although really, it'd most likely be Brittany on top of her.)
But either way, despite Brittany's many attempts to get Santana's clothes off, they've both had to settle for some PG-13 action this afternoon.
Santana threads her fingers into blonde hair as Brittany trails hot open-mouthed kisses down her neck and across her chest, her thigh tensing as her girlfriend presses down against it.
She can't think when she gets to have Brittany like this, all she can do is feel. Brittany's smooth soft skin under her fingertips. Brittany's warm and delicious mouth claiming every inch of Santana she can get to. Brittany's heartbeat thumping against her chest in time to her own heart that feels so full sometimes she worries it's going to burst.
(She knows that's not possible but still, being with Brittany makes her feel that way.)
(And she knows she's not always good with words and feelings so sometimes she just takes Brittany's hand and presses it against the skin over her heart and watches the smile bloom across the blonde's face. Because sometimes just saying I love you doesn't even seem like it even comes close to describing what she feels for Brittany.)
Their kisses and movements eventually slow until they're just laying together, Santana's head on Brittany's chest and her fingers playing with the hem of the blonde's shirt, slipping under the material to the soft skin of her stomach every so often. Brittany has one arm around Santana's back with her hand settled on her hip, holding her close.
Her girlfriend hasn't said anything in a while and Santana assumes she's fallen asleep, (Brittany has the amazing/frustrating talent of being able to fall asleep almost anywhere at any time), but she's proved wrong when the blonde sighs rather dreamily.
"You're my French Angelfish, Santana Lopez."
Santana quirks an eyebrow and flips over so that she's on her stomach, propped up on her elbows.
"Am I supposed to know what that means? Or is this one of those times where you show off how much smarter than me you are?"
Brittany grins and sticks her tongue out, then bops the brunette on her scrunched up nose.
"It's not my fault you weren't paying attention to David Attenborough."
"I'm from Lima Heights, Britt Britt, there's only so much nature doco I can take."
"That's almost enough for me to break up with you, San."
That makes Santana laugh. "Yeah right. You, Brittany Susan Pierce, can't live without me."
"That's totally true," Brittany says so earnestly that Santana just has to press their lips together again.
"So, what's this about Dutch Devilfish?"
"French Angelfish," Brittany corrects her while Santana continues to smirk. "They mate for life and they swim around the reef together all the time, always together, to protect each other."
Santana's smirk eases into a soft smile, her heart on the verge of blowing up again.
"So, like penguins and swans?"
Brittany rolls her eyes playfully. "Well yeah. But everyone always talks about those animals so they're like, less unique, you know? Plus, penguins just mate together if they can but the rest of the time it's very casual. French Angelfish are totally in love and totally make babies but they're also a team, cruising around the reef and watching each other's backs."
Santana leans down and presses another lingering kiss to Brittany's lips.
"Is this your way of asking me to be your baby mama?"
Brittany grins, "totally," then lifts her head up to steal another quick kiss. "But I mean…I just want you to know that no matter what happens with colleges and stuff next year, we'll find a way to be together. You know that right?"
Santana searches Brittany's eyes and finds all the love and adoration and kindness that she knows she'll ever need. And with Brittany looking at her like this and saying perfect things Santana starts to believe in happy endings and love conquering all because fuck, she's an orphan from Lima Heights and somehow the most wonderful girl in the world fell in love with her and she might be going to college and they could be that couple who lives happily ever after.
-x-
Santana believes Brittany's words until six weeks later when she finds out that the only school she got into on the east coast was NYU…but no scholarship. Even with financial aid and all the rest of it there's still no fucking way she'd be able to survive in New York and actually have time to go to the classes that she'd be working two jobs to pay for. She didn't get scholarships for the other two out of state colleges she got into either.
She's never hated being poor quite as much as she does then, because it's not that she's not good enough or not smart enough. There's nothing standing in her way other than the fact that she's poor. And that's not her fucking fault.
It's almost harder to tell Brittany than it was to open the letters, and even though Brittany holds her close and tells her that she's still her Angelfish and that they'll figure it out, Santana can't help but let all those doubts come rushing back to the fore again. She can't help but fixate on the fact that Brittany hasn't once mentioned not going to New York in a few months. She can't help but remember that look in Puck's eyes the night Quinn broke his heart because she was doing what was best for herself.
She can't help but think that maybe Brittany is wrong, and maybe things just aren't going to work out.
-x-
Santana is having a bad night at work, which is a bit of an understatement really because she'd rather kiss that potato sack Finn Hudson than take another order for these entitled, condescending assholes.
(Her hatred for this place has always been at a premium, but since learning her college fate it's fucking skyrocketed.)
She's been messing up orders and spilling drinks and she's barely made anything in tips, (she's pretty sure that the little she has made was garnered by fear and intimidation).
And her mood only gets worse as soon as she spots Mrs Pierce taking a seat in her section. She looks as polished as Santana knows she always does, and although Mrs Pierce has always been pleasant and welcoming to her, something about this soon to be encounter sends a shiver up her spine.
Three weeks ago the older woman almost caught Santana and her daughter in a compromising position, and although what she walked in on could have been innocent enough, Santana felt the mood shift and saw the questioning look in Mrs Pierce's eyes. And she's seen it ever since. The way those slate blue eyes linger a little too long on the two of them, especially when they touch.
She knows this can't be good because she's not stupid. Mrs Pierce hasn't come here by herself just to see where she works or to say hello, she obviously wants to talk to her, and given Santana's life experience and street smarts she knows that she's not going to like whatever Mrs Pierce has to say. The thought that maybe Brittany finally told her mum that they were more than just friends makes her heart race even faster…but surely she would have told Santana about that sooner rather than later?
Steeling herself, she makes her way over to the table, plastering a smile on her face and greeting the older woman with as much warmth as she can. She can't lose her shit, especially if this all ends up being nothing and Mrs Pierce was just jonesing for a latte or a nice steak or something. Mrs Pierce greets her back just as warmly and politely as she always does and for a second Santana thinks that maybe she got it wrong. Maybe Mrs Pierce does just want to see where her daughter's 'friend' works or maybe one of her friends told her about this place or maybe she knows Mrs Berry from one of their charity galas or whatever the fuck events it is that rich ladies go to.
But of course Santana's instincts know better and before she has even asked for Mrs Pierce's order, the older woman is making her intentions clear.
"Santana, I was wondering if I could have a word?"
She gestures for Santana to sit on the seat opposite her but of course the brunette hesitates, chewing on the end of her pen and looking around the restaurant.
"Um, I can't really sit down and chat right now..."
Mrs Pierce just smiles and waves away Santana's hesitation.
"I've just spoken to the manager and told him I need a minute of your time. He doesn't mind."
Santana fights the urge to roll her eyes because of fucking course Mrs Pierce can wave her hand and make things happen. And she just knows she'll end up working late to make up for it anyway.
So she cautiously takes a seat, avoiding eye contact with the older woman until the last possible moment. Mrs Pierce is just studying her with that same warm smile and it's more than a little uncomfortable.
"You really are a very beautiful girl."
Santana's eyes widen comically, because that really wasn't what she had expected to hear.
"Uh, thanks."
"I bet working here you get hassled a lot by drunk lecherous businessmen?"
Santana nods, more than a little thrown but knowing that she needs to be polite for Brittany's sake, so if Mrs Pierce wants to make small talk, small talk it is.
"Yup. Hazard of the job."
Mrs Pierce gazes around the restaurant.
"Yes, I remember from when I was younger."
"You waitressed?"
"In a place much worse than this. I was nineteen and trying to put myself through college."
Santana shakes her head slightly, not sure what to make of this new information and how it changes the little story in her head that she'd made up about Mrs Pierce's background.
The older woman seems pleased, like she knows she's just challenged Santana's idea of her.
"I wasn't born wearing Chanel, Santana. My parents were Dutch immigrants and worked in factories their whole lives. They had to work hard for what we had."
Santana nods, still a little shocked. This isn't how she thought this conversation was going to go.
"And like my parents I've worked hard for everything I've got. Studied my ass off to get into college. Put myself through school and met Brett. Worked with him to make his business successful. Helped with his political career. I've fought hard for my family and my life and I'm going to do anything I can to protect it."
Santana nods once and sighs. This is more what she'd been expecting. A polite but firm fuck off and leave my daughter alone. She braces herself for the impact.
"So I hope you'll understand why I'm going to have to ask you to stay away from my daughter."
The brunette shakes her head slightly, an almost amused smile on her lips. "Brittany is eighteen. You can't pick her friends."
Mrs Pierce smiles knowingly. "You're not her friend, Santana."
Santana opens her mouth to lie, almost by instinct, but Mrs. Pierce beats her to it.
"I might be blonde but I'm not stupid, so please don't treat me like I am. I know my daughter and I aren't close and I understand why she wouldn't confide something like this in me, but even someone who took just one look at the two of you together would be able to tell that she's in love with you…"
Santana sits in a stunned silence, her stomach twisting with anxiety because she feels like she's been fucking ambushed and she doesn't want to be rude to this woman because Brittany…but she kinda feels like an animal that's been cornered and it's really hard not to lash out.
"…And it's pretty obvious that you love my daughter."
Mrs Pierce holds her eye and Santana doesn't have the heart to deny it, even if it would make all of this a lot easier.
"Which is why I'm hoping you'll take my advice and leave her alone. Brittany's life is about to change. She's heading off to school in New York next year and her father is about to campaign for office, running as a family values candidate."
Santana fights the urge to roll her eyes because despite what most people think she does have manners and some social graces. But she hates that fucking term family values. She especially hates how most of the people who use it are fucking hypocrites.
"So is it that I'm poor, Hispanic, an orphan and not going to college," Santana counts off on her fingers, "or just that I'm a girl."
Mrs Pierce sighs. "I'm not going to pretend that's not a concern, but that's not why I'm doing this. Honestly, I think we'd be having this same conversation if you were a boy."
Santana snorts, because she's really having trouble believing that's true, but there's also something about the way Mrs. Pierce looks almost pained that makes her second guess her doubt.
"Next year Brittany is going to be going to school in New York like she's dreamed about her whole life. She's going to attend one of the most prestigious performing arts universities in the world where she will meet talented and creative people who love the things she loves. Who share the same passions. Are you going to go with her Santana? Work some minimum wage job and live with four roommates in a shoebox apartment while Brittany lives in the dorms with her new friends? Watch as Brittany makes a life that won't include you? Or are you going to stay here and fool yourself into thinking that long-distance relationships can last?"
Wincing, Santana feels the words twist and shift within her and turn into doubts, reigniting fears that she's tried to ignore for too long. She thinks about Quinn and Puck and how fucked up everything is between them. How in the beginning she always used to tell him that it could never last because they were both so different, and how she fooled herself into thinking that she and Brittany could be the exception.
It must be all over her face, because Mrs Pierce sounds almost maternal and comforting when she continues.
"I know it sounds harsh, but these are the realities that you're going to face, and there's no point in sugar coating anything."
Santana sets her jaw, not wanting to hear anymore as she feels all of her hurt and disappointment spark into anger.
"So why don't you just talk to Brittany about this?"
Mrs Pierce sighs, and despite her anger Santana can't help but acknowledge that at least the woman is showing genuine emotion about the situation.
"I'm not proud to admit it, but it has been difficult for me to be close to my children since the death of my eldest son. It's been especially hard with Brittany. It's always been hard with Brittany. She's always been different. A free spirit. I'm sure you understand what I mean. It's not a bad thing, but I've just always struggled to relate to her, and especially the last few years. She doesn't get tethered down by the things most people do, the realities of life. Even as a child I could never stop her from doing anything she wanted, the only thing I could do is take things out of her way so she doesn't get hurt."
"I'd never hurt her."
Her response is immediate and she says it with all the conviction she's capable of. If she knows one thing in this world it's that she never wants to hurt Brittany.
"I believe that you don't want to. I can see that you love her. But that doesn't mean she won't get hurt. You both will. I'm sure you think that what I'm doing is horrible. Interfering like this and asking you to break my daughter's heart. I'm sure you think I'm a monster. I think Brittany already does."
Mrs Pierce's eyes find the table and Santana can see the hurt in the older woman's expression at that thought.
"I'm sure she's told you things about our relationship. But I love my daughter. And believe it or not I'm doing what's best for her. And for you, Santana. The two of you live in different worlds and you know it. You've probably known it since the first moment you met her. There have probably already been problems because of it. Your worlds will only grow further apart the older you get, and what the two of you have is only going to end one way. You and I both know that. You're old enough to know that I'm right. If it happens now Brittany will go off to New York and start her life and the two of you can get over each other and be happy. If it drags on any longer it's just going to hold her back. She might decide not to go to New York. She might give up on her dreams. Neither of us wants that."
Sitting in front of this woman, adrenaline pumping through her body, Santana wants to argue. She wants to yell fuck you, you don't know what you're talking about because you don't know me and you don't know how happy your daughter makes me or how I plan to spend the rest of my life making her feel the same way. She wants to scream and yell and hit things but she doesn't. She doesn't say a word. Because as much as she loves Brittany. As much as her heart swells whenever the blonde smiles at her. Or how safe she feels as long as she's with Brittany. Or how she never thought she had a future until she met Brittany. Santana knows that Mrs Pierce is right. She knows that Puck is right. She knows that life isn't a Disney movie and love isn't enough. She knows that the two of them are no different to Quinn and Puck, no matter how much she tries to convince herself otherwise. They are not the exception.
She knows that Brittany deserves better than whatever she can give her.
.
.
Dun Dun DUN! Shit really hit the fan in this one huh? One more part left…
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