1.) Scenes in italics are flashbacks (mostly to the day of the Battle of Canary Wharf)
2.) I have no idea how to write as if I were angry and Scottish, so if I am offensive, please tell me. I know a few Scottish words of phrase and I just really hope that I used them properly. I am so sorry, but I really wanted to try.
3.) I refuse to believe that whole "France on a spaceship" thing I mean what France on a spaceship thing there was no France on a spaceship thing I am not in denial you are in denial hahahahahahahahahahaha that never happened I have no idea what you're talking about
4.) I tried to discretely (like, very super extremely with mighty and great caution) add in, erm, hints(?) as indications for Rose and the Doctor's, erm, relationship? Yeah..
5.) There are hints at suicidal thoughts, and definite mentions of mental illness.
As much as Rose Tyler prided herself on her ability to keep a cool exterior, she could rarely say the same about her interior; mostly the interior of her own mind.
The drive to the town meeting was mostly uneventful full dull loll toll pull, god if Rose's mind did not shut the fuck up… She knew ooh doo loo nine hundred and two that she was just trying to distract herself, but fuck at what cost frost lost- Okay. Okay, she's done. F- no, fuck that. Lost. She wondered if the Doctor ever thought of her as lost. Lost was easier than gone, like when someone dies. "We lost them," sounds better than, "They're gone." Gone? Gone where? And when will they be back? But lost? You never really knew with lost. And the Doctor hated not knowing. Yeah. Definitely never considered her lost. And why would he? Being lost implied that you could be found. And she couldn't be found.
Mental illness. Rose had a great deal of mental illness. Mental illness mental illness mental illness mental ill mental ill mental mental mental mental mental men men men men men men men men men men men men men men men MEN. Jesus, Rose, calm the FUCK down. But how the hell could she do that? Huh, hah, yeah, hmm, ah, mmm? SHE TOOK TWO BLOODY FUCKING PILLS TODAY WHY WAS SHE NOT CALM NOW. FUCK. FOR FUCK'S SAKE. FUCK.
Ugh.
"So how exactly do we go about this then?"
Oh. Yeah. That was bleeding bloody fucking WHY. She was going insane because she was stuck inside a small car (small compared to her team's big Torchwood issued van), sitting beside the man that looked like the long lost love of her life. No. Not lost. Being lost implied that you could be found. And the Doctor couldn't be found.
Rose cleared her throat and laced her fingers to crack her knuckles before responding in a deadpan voice, "You say what you would normally say, then you direct the attention to me, I introduce myself, and state that Torchwood is here to help and help, we will. Then we answer questions if needed and/or wanted and off we go back to the station where we part ways until the next morning unless someone has any valuable information worth sharing presently."
Maybe she should give him a break. No, no no no no no no no. The universe never gave her a damn break, so what the hell made him so special? Then again, god, she wasn't even angry at him and hell, fuck, shit, she wasn't even angry at the Doctor! She was angry at herself for taking this case without running her own background checks and letting it get to her head and IT HAD ONLY BEEN A FEW FUCKING HOURS. SHIT. Alec probably responded. Probably. Not that she heard. Not that she's paying attention.
Nope. No. You're fine. You're fucking fine. You keep swearing but you're fine. Deep breath. Close your eyes. Deep breath. Don't slam your head into the outer shell of the glove box. Deep breath. Open your eyes. Stare out your window. Watch the world go by, like you watched all of life and love go by as your grip slipped from that lever. Don't cry. There will be time for that later.
Stop acting like such a child, you're a Tyler woman, for goodness sake.
It was just a car ride. In close proximity. And then a town meeting. Sitting even closer, probably. Not that you couldn't handle it. You could handle anything. You'd live.
"It's been five and a half hours, Mickey. We have a great deal of work to do and it's just gotten five and a half times harder," Pete sighs.
"Yeah."
Rose's first few minutes after the walls closed were spent yelling empty threats at the wall. After a while, she quieted down and said nothing more. Jackie and Pete tried to persuade Rose to leave, but she curled up against the wall and silently refused to move. Eventually, Mickey told them to give her five and half hours. Five and half hours and not a second more and they'll go. Jackie and Pete did not understand the reference nor the request, but they allowed it. Jake stayed silent throughout the entire ordeal.
Still curled up on the floor, Rose kissed her fingers before stroking the wall. The gesture was one she often displayed for the TARDIS. She wouldn't get up. She wouldn't. They could could drag her if they wanted. She wouldn't fight them. All her fight was wasted on the wall.
At a stoplight, Alec rubbed his eyes and sighed.
Valiant. It meant determined. Well, it meant more than that, but that was the basis. And courage. Rose Tyler seemed to be the type of person with a rare knack of courage and determination. What the hell does that even have to do with someone dying in some battle, though? Was it that alien she loved and that battle that separate them? He was dead, wasn't he? That alien? Blimey, how could anyone be in love with an alien?
Slowly, so as to be discrete, Alec shifted his eyes sideways to catch a glimpse of this Rose Tyler.
She probably liked pretty boys; that was probably what he was.
Not that it mattered.
God, shut it. She only mattered when it came tae the case. Ha! Oh. Aye. She's just nothin, you bloody well fuckin think, as she touches yer arm and tells ye to sit and ye go ever so willingly. Or, or, or, oh, when ye backed the hell down from her starring like she, she, she frightens ye. Don't be a damn wuss. Ye dinnae give up that easily, especially not tae some effin' lady. OH, HELL, SHUT IT. Nae, but really, she tore ye the fuck apart the moment she first opened those damned big lips.
Ye glaikit fuckin' bastart, Alec. Ye fucker. Alec Hardy int one to get wrapped up over some woman. Not anymore.
He turned to his proudly angry Scottish blood when he was, well, angry.
AND DAMN WELL RIGHT, YA BAST-
Jus talk- think, whatever- in normal tone.
Nae, dinnae tell me whatta do.
But yer talkin' to yerself.
Ah, shut it.
This was even worse than the first time working with Ellie, where he tried everything not to let himself be pushed around. Hell, he admited, if anything, Alec used to (okay, aye, and maybe still did, definitely, shut up) push her around.
Alec Hardy dinnae get pushed around. Especially not by some, some- oh dinnae- some alien lover and crime fighter 20-something-year old with a need for dominance as a sense of security. And that's what it is, int it? Security. It was why Alec was such a hard arse. Demanding dominance protects ye from yerself and gives ye security over eeryone else. And when the hell did he start comparing himself to her? She was obvious just a stubborn, spoiled-
"Blimey, should've known you'd be an insistent one."
Argh.
Just say something. Anything. Anything, something, just so long as it is out loud and not in yer bleeding fuckin head.
"So how exactly do we go about this then?"
What? No. What the hell. Well. Wait, no. Yer headed to the meeting, with no idea about her position in all this. So there ye go.
"You say what you would normally say, then you direct the attention to me, I introduce myself, and state that Torchwood is here to help and help, we will. Then we answer questions if needed and/or wanted and off we go back to the station where we part ways until the next morning unless someone has any valuable information worth sharing presently."
God, this woman is a right fuckin-
Holy shite, lips are moving, was that said out loud? The hell's even going on?
He snook another sidelong glance in her direction to find her eyes closed. Probably sleeping; never ever heard ye at all. Alright, all in the clear.
God, no need to argue with yerself like a bloody adolescent. Ye stopped doing that the first hundredth time your damn ex-wife told you off for it, dinnae ye?
I'was just a car ride. In close proximity. And then a town meeting. Sitting even closer, probably. Not that ye couldn't handle it. Ye could handle anything. Ye'd live.
Jake understood the reference. Five and a half hours; Mickey told him about that adventure. His first adventure. They had ended up on a spaceship; an empty spaceship, at that. His first adventure and it was boring. They walked around and found nothing on this ship. Sure, it smelt like BBQ and there were mirrors that were designed to look like windows, but there was nothing special about them. They were just mirrors. Mirrors that were designed to look like windows. Bit boring, but the Doctor and Rose have a rule. Well, sort of. Five and half hours. If they find themselves in a particularly boring setting, they still wander for at least five and a half hours. Mostly, the rule is used if they get separated: wait five and half hours and if they aren't reunited, go searching for the other. But sometimes, the five and half hour rule is just applied to wandering around bore before finding somewhere more exciting to go.
There was a lot that Jake knew about the Doctor and Rose, as Mickey had vented it all throughout his time in this world. It had been two, nearly three years that Mickey had been there and throughout those years, he and Jake has become best friends. It wasn't a quick friendship, but it wasn't a slow friendship, either. They worked their way up to the strong bond they have now, and now, they know all about not only each other, but also the Doctor, Rose and Rickey. Admittedly, it wasn't easy, but Jake was eventually able to accept the loss of Rickey and the gain of Mickey.
It had been a hard struggle for Mickey. He did not want to fill the shoes of the man he looked like, nor did he want to replace him. Mickey wanted to make anew, become the person he wanted to be and find out exactly who he wanted to be was. But he still struggled. Rose Tyler is not an easy woman to get over, but he did it. Jake helped a load, but he did it. Sure, he would always feel some unnamable sense of love towards Rose Tyler, but that was okay. He would be glad to call her his friend again. But as he watched Rose Tyler cry over a wall for five and a half hours… Well..
Nothing spectacular happened at the town meeting. Not that she expected anything spectacular; she'd done this job long enough. Alec tried his best to reassure the frightful town and Rose tried to reassure them that, though, yes, Torchwood is a very emahem, specialem organization, that did not mean that this case was so special that panic should break out. They answered few questions as extra insurance for reassurance, much to Alec's chagrin. Those who attended the meeting did not seem to be in any better a state than before the meeting started. But they did not seem to be too much worse, which Rose supposed couldn't be too bad. Unless they were still processing the given information, only to cause an outbreak of mass hysteria later. Rose hoped this was not the case and would later only disclose this thought to her Torchwood team. As much as she liked Ellie, she seemed far too empathetic about the town and Rose did not wish to worry her further. Any distress that could possibly take place, Roe and her boys would be able to handle. And if Alec's not-so-tough demeanor was anything to go by, Rose was sure that underneath it all, Alec was invested enough in the town to catch any warning signs early.
"You've got to pick her up, Mickey," Jackie sniffed. "Don't think she'll be able to do it on her own."
It was like a metaphor. A really shitty metaphor. Of course she wouldn't be able to pick her self up on her own. When Pete died, Jackie had Rose and her family and friends. When Jackie died, Pete had Mickey and Jake and other people that Mickey and Jake only briefly heard of and rarely met. When Rickey died, Jake had Mickey and Pete. When Mickey stayed with Jake and Pete, well he had Jake and Pete. And now, here lies Rose Tyler, and all she wants is the Doctor. She doesn't just want the Doctor because she loves him, but because she knows that the Doctor has no one. Rose will have Jackie and Pete and Mickey and Jake and whoever the hell else but the Doctor has no one. How is he going to pick himself up on his own? Well, he's done it before. But he shouldn't have to. And that's the point. He. Shouldn't. Have. To.
But the Doctor isn't here. Rose is. So are Jackie, Pete, Mickey, and Jake. Four people, and only one of them is going to pick up Rose and carry her to the Torchwood van.
The remainder of day had passed in a blur for Rose.
Eventually, they made it back to the station where brief updates were exchanged. Some time later, Rose remembered eating at the hotel. Maybe she had a beer? No, no, she wanted a beer. Hell, she wanted the strongest thing the hotel had to offer. But she doesn't do that. Not when it was the first day of a new mission. She was sure she and the boys talked a bit. Rose remembered mostly caring about getting back to her hotel room.
Once in her hotel room, Rose let herself break.
A deep breath was quickly taken in, only to be shortly cut off by a choking sob that ripples through her whole body like an earthquake. What a shite metaphor. What a shite world she was forced to live in. She didn't even want to live in it; it was a decision, not a thought, but she never acted on it. Never. Ever. It was not what the Doctor would have wanted for her, so she didn't. It was her last gift to him. A gift, a promise; the only one she may ever be able to keep. Not that he would know, anyways, and oh, there is so much he didn't know.
A crackling noise left her throat as her eyes burned with unshed tears and her throat constricted. It was her body's way to prevent the screams. Rose buried her face in a pillow, just in case. No need to cause a fright.
She had no idea how long she was curled up, barely breathing, but it felt short of forever.
And then it was over. Quick to come and then quick to leave. The Doctor did that sometimes.
Rose did not cry.
She laughed silently, her throat tight as she once was and again is. It was all because of him.
This reaction would not happen again. Not in Broadchurch.
When she slept, her dreams were not starless. Not at first. Every star was there and slowly, they all burned. She wanted to burn with them. Soon enough, they all disappeared, one by one. She wanted to go with them.
Rose would greet the next morning with a blank face, but she would greet everything else with a smile.
She only ever wanted what she couldn't have, and right now she sort of kind of maybe wanted to be dead. And it had only been a day. Or about one thousand and several hundred days. Not that she counted. Not anymore. Without her Time Lord, Rose found it hard to keep track. To this day, she still found many things hard to do without him.
"Mick?" came a voice from above him.
While Rose was curled up on the floor; Jackie and Pete took to sitting by a window, Mickey sat in the middle of the room, and Jake sat against another wall, though at one point he stood up./em
Looking up, Mickey saw Jake standing beside him, offering a hand. Mickey took it and stood up but he moved no further, as Jake had placed a hand on his chest and gave him a stern look. Not like Mickey would have been able to move, anyways. And so he watched as his current best friend walked over to the wall and picked up his previous best friend; bridal style. And they let him. No fuss, no fight. Jake began to walk towards a hall with Rose in his arms, and by some unspoken agreement, Mickey and the two Tyler's followed.
His skin was itching with anger. Itching with anger? What the hell kind of expression was that? Next he'd be thinking in the voice of an angry ole Scotsman again an' oh, int that just a delight.
Argh.
Shut it.
He shouldn't continue the case like this; course he woule, though. Death is a severe thing here. Aight, death was a big thing everywhere, but here.. He solved the first and previous death case, he cannae just give this one up because he's, he's, bah, he's frustrated. He's always frustrated. Some high class, high powered lady shouldn't put him off.
"Hot shower or cold shower," he mumbled to himself in his empty house. "Ah, fuck it."
He decided to change into his jim jams and bury himself in his bed.
It had only been a day working beside Torchwood, but Alec and Ellie had been working on this case for five days now with no leads, no hints, just absolutely nothing. Unless Torchwood could find something or the interrogations give way to any clues tomorrow, the case looked blearily hopeless right now.
Oh, and then, there was the matter of the interrogations.. How was he supposed to work side-by-side with this good-cop-and-bad-cop-all-in-one-and-on-her-own-bloody-fuckin-R-O-S-E-T-Y-L-E-R? How exactly is that going to happen? What does that even mean? And what the hell could that possibly even be like? Should he be scared? Why would he be scared? Threatened? Intimidated? No… NO. BLOODY NO. This, this, this- THIS blasted woman has driven him barmy all day. Who the hell did she think she was? Coming in and taking his investigation but claiming it as a partnership? And you just WENT with it? Really Hardy, I thought you had more class than that to fall to the whims and charms of- and HELL IT'S NOT EVEN THAT SHE TRIES AND GIVES OFF A CHARM SO WELL FUCK! DOES SHE EVEN HAVE ANY?
Rose Tyler Rose Tyler Rose Tyler there was bound to be plenty said about Rose Tyler.
And so, Alec got out his laptop and conducted a thorough web search on one Rose Tyler. He didn't look for her age because she was too young for him to care, or so he told himself. But let's see; no reported documents on her since before three or so years ago. Vitex heiress, claimed to be daughter to Pete Tyler and Jackie Tyler. Or so the blood tests said. Jackie supposedly died via Cybermen invasion, only to turn up a few years later with her long lost daughter, Rose Tyler. Jackie claimed to have had a midlife crisis (Alec snorted at that) after seeing the Cybermen that caused her to want to seek out the daughter she gave up long ago. There were no claims as to why she gave her daughter up in the first place, although there were rumors that Alec preferred not to think too heavily on.
Before three years ago, Rose Tyler was a nobody. Her life could have gone any which way, but somehow along the way, she fell in love with an alien, only to lose him. And now she and her team are working alongside Alec and Ellie to catch some killers and possibly bust a drug ring. An alien drug ring. Possibly. And possibly some alien killers. And he's just accepted it.
What the hell had happened to him?
The things was… Rose didn't really have Jake. Rose had Jackie and Pete and Mickey, but not Jake. They didn't know each other, though Jake knew a great deal about Rose. Otherwise, they were strangers. And that just wouldn't do for Jake. Jake knew what it was like to no longer have the love of your life in your life anymore, and if Rose and the Doctor loved each other even half as much as Mickey had always said, then Rose was going to need as much support as she could get.
And if Jake really thought about it- and he did- Jackie and Pete would more than likely be spending a great deal of time with each other while Mickey spent his time struggling over this new, erm, development. So where did that leave Rose and Jake? Either alone or together, and there was no way that Jake was going to let anyone do this- whatever the hell this wa- on their own.
So if Rose would have him, Jake would do all he could to help her. And anyone and everyone else.
"I've got you now."