Disclaimer: As usual I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters

Chapter 17: Amanda

Today was the day the first day and perhaps the worst. I had tossed and turned for hours as I drifted in and out of sleep. I kept imagining the meeting with Amanda then I kept imagining a gun pointed at my chest. I could feel the cold metal of the barrel as it pressed against my chest. I could hear the click and the clack of her pumps as she strode forward her gaze colder than winter in Alaska. She never spoke not one single word she just titled her head to the side and smiled as her index finger pressed the trigger and the shot rang out vibrating through my head. I woke up each time the shot fired and it was always right before the bullet met my heart. Oliver's arms would come up from behind pressing me against his warm solid form attempting to shield me from my own inner thoughts and fears. I just leaned against him breathing heavily with my eyes screwed shut attempting to prevent the tears from falling. He would then rock me back and forth slowly whispering soft soothing words into my disheveled hair. By my third nightmare Oliver must have been concerned as my screams became louder and more tortured with each go round. Yet he never uttered a single word other than "shhh you're safe, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, it was just a dream."

Glancing in the mirrored surface of my microwave was enough to give anyone a shock. My eyes were red and slightly inflamed due to a combination of sleep deprivation and tears that had continued to fall. My skin that was always pale looked even paler against my very vivid blue eyes. Blonde tendrils fell around my face in varying directions as they had come loose from my ponytail the night before. Removing the elastic band I ran my still slightly shaking fingers through the hair attempting to tame the rat's nest before Oliver took one look and ran the other direction. Still so wrapped up in attempting to fix my sleep deprived appearance; I didn't even notice Oliver had come up from behind until I felt him wrapping his arms around my form as he reached for the freshly brewed coffee that I'd made during my self inspection.

"You're beautiful." His voice honest and clear sounding as he kissed the back of my head before removing his arms his hands firmly clasping the coffee pot as he moved towards the mugs. I hung my head in slight shame but mostly in an attempt to hide as he'd only seen the back of my head and had yet to see my actual face.

"Yes beautiful sure with about 2 hours of sleep and absolutely no make up to hide the deep dark bags currently setting up camp beneath my eyes." My voice was filled with sarcasm but hidden beneath it was a small amount of panic. Yes we'd woken up together before but then I'd slept, and I'd woken up about five minutes before him so I was able to prep before his handsome face awakened to see my own.

By this point he'd moved to sit down at the kitchen table he of course looked perfect, his deep blue eyes were clear showing no signs of the hours of sleep I'd compromised. His scruff was slightly longer than usual indicating that this morning he'd be trimming but otherwise he looked perfect. Not one hair out of place, his upper body still ridden with scar tissue remained one the most attractive sights in previous memory. "Felicity…Felicity…FELICITY!"

Startled from my daydream by the high tenor of his usually deep very masculine voice I sputtered out a weak "hmmm wh…what?" His eyes softened instantly as he chuckled sipping at his coffee as he did.

"What may I ask were you daydreaming about while standing there with your beautiful lips slightly parted and your eyes slightly glazed over?" He hadn't moved an inch from the table but I could still feel the invisible pull starting as I unclasped my hands from the kitchen counter and slowly started to walk towards him. I kept my eyes focused on his coming closer and closer my heart racing as I watched his chest rise and fall his own breathing becoming faster and more erratic. I watched him place the half empty mug on the table gently before extending his arms out reaching for my waist once I was within reach. My heart began pounding faster and faster once his hands came into to contact with the thin sliver of skin between my camisole and the boxers that I'd thrown on before padding out here to make the coffee. His fingers dug slightly into my waist pulling me down as I settled on his lap my legs spreading to either side as my chest came dangerously close to his own. He kept his fingers moving against my skin sending shivers of pleasure up my spine, his voice once again directing my ever so distracted mind to his mouth.

"So what we're you thinking about that was so blissful that I had to shout to get your attention?" His lips gliding over my neck as his teeth slowly dragged across the skin. I gulped loudly as my arms tightened around his neck my hands moving into his close cropped hair bringing his mouth closer to my heated skin.

"I was thinking about you, all I ever do is think…about…you." My voice became weaker and lighter as his mouth moved higher along my neck reaching the lobe of my ear and then biting down eliciting a low hiss from my throat. I smiled as he kissed his way slowly along my jawbone before trailing upwards placing one final kiss to my mouth as he pulled back smiling as well.

"Glad to hear it." His voice had become harder but in my mind he sounded perfect. I moved to stand but he just tightened his grip around my waist controlling my movements as he did. Looking up I asked in the gentlest voice possible "Oliver why won't you let me stand up?" Not that I minded straddling my boyfriend at 7 something in the morning but we both still had to shower and get dressed before meeting Rose at her office downtown by 9. That meant separate showers and me applying about a pound of make-up to hide not only the evidence of stress and fear but to hide the evidence his mouth had left all over my small neck.

He tilted his head to the side so I matched his movement keeping our eyes together attempting to will his answer forward knowing that our time was running short. "Out with it we only have so much time to do the soul baring staring contest that now ends with you taking me against any hard surface available." I loved the sounds he made when he lightly laughed they were innocent and carefree which was such a stark contrast to his other side the darker more tormented soul that laid beneath.

"You were trying to hide from me." My head shot up from the tilted position as my body became stiff in his strong embrace.

"What when did I hide from you?" I knew when hell I was slightly embarrassed that we were this close now but he just had this pull once I was in his gravity I was done for.

"You're beautiful why is that so hard for you to see?" Now I was completely lost. I knew I was pretty and sure I had some amazing eyes but I wasn't like gorgeous Laurel whom he held on an imaginary pedestal for 5 long years.

"Oh baby you're so much more than Laurel will ever be what am I going to have to say or do to make you see that?" I blinked rapidly realizing that once again my inner monologue had been in fact an out loud one. "Damnit, once just once I'd like to have a private thought that wasn't broadcasted to the entire listening area." My head slammed forward straight into his chest as I sighed mostly in sad defeat.

"Fine yes we when woke up together the other day I'd freshened up a bit, and yes today I was hoping that you hadn't seen my face since I look as if death warmed over about two days prior. I just…I don't know…I want you to think I'm…"

"You want me to think what that you're perfect, stunning, beautiful, smart, funny, intelligent, wonderful, caring, kind, gorgeous what more do you want I could go for hours." His voice wasn't hard or angry it was filled with genuine awe and a small amount of annoyance that I was still doubting his feelings in this regard. I kept my head down against his chest as I sighed loudly knowing that sooner or later I'd have to answer his question I frankly would have preferred later.

"This…what's between you and I well this is new to me. I just...I don't want to disappoint you, I don't want to hurt you, but I'm just me Felicity who talks to much, loves computers, and is always going to wear glasses. I'm a IT nerd who loves what she does and yes it scares me given your past that you might one day realize that you'd prefer the gorgeous, smart, talented, funny, and oh yeah possible love of your life Laurel rather than me." My head was reeling I had just spilled my guts to this wonderful beautiful man who had never once given me any reason to doubt his feelings towards me. My breathes continued in their unsteady rapid fire pace waiting for him to do well anything. His fingers had continued to slowly and softly knead at the skin of my waist as I spoke and then released my inner most demons. His breathing had remained even, level and steady through everything never once changing so I waited with my forehead still pressed to his skin.

"I could have gone back to Laurel and I ran away, I had a relationship with a woman named Helena that was based out of mutual loneliness and shared needs for vengeance…Felicity…damnit baby just look at me because I'm only going to say this once." His voice became harder on that last point filling with a slight bit of anger over having to explain his feelings towards me once again. I lifted my head up leveling his heated gazed with my own. As a silent apology I moved my hands to rest aside his chiseled jawline using my thumbs to lightly caress against his scruffy but still perfect skin.

"Laurel and I are done we are in the past and that's where we belong. Our relationship was toxic from the start. She's with Tommy now and frankly he's a good fit for her. I'm with you, I'm about to risk my life for you, I've told you more than anyone about my time away…." My face scrunched up at that because he had in fact told me almost nothing on that particular subject. "I see that expression and I know I've said very little but you still know more than I ever intended for you to." I nodded in understanding remaining quiet as he continued. "I trusted you with my secret and I let you into my life. Physically well baby we've had sex, we've fucked and we've made love so I do believe that base has been covered." I nodded eagerly in agreement as giant smile appeared on my face. "I've also seen you while you've slept. I've seen the small line of drool that escapes your slightly open mouth when you're in a deep sleep. I've seen the bags that form underneath your eyes when you haven't slept more than a few hours due to either worry or unspoken fears. I've seen your eyes as you sobbed heavily against me turning puffy and red from the tears that refused to stop falling. Now one last time for the record you're beautiful in every single form. Now do you need any further clarification of how I feel towards you because I've told you I'm in love, I've told you how much so, I've showed you how much I want you even when I'm thrusting deeply into your core…"I gulped he was right he'd done nothing but tell me and show me how much he felt for me so before he could finish his monologue I clamped my lips down on his stilling the words in his throat as I moved my tongue roughly against his own.

"Oliver we have to leave… let me rephrase that we should have left 10 minutes ago." Yeah my whole separate showers idea well that idea died the moment I shoved my tongue down his throat after he once again declared his love for me. After that well we kind of got a bit too carried away in minutes he'd had me naked in my shower with his cock firmly sheaved pounding into me with a frenzied energy that left me breathless and quite sore. Needless to say we'd taken a bit too long in the shower which left us very little time to dry off separately I might add and prepare for the day ahead.

"Relax we'll make it on time." His tall still breathtaking form appeared from my bedroom dressed in a charcoal grey suit that made my mouth water. He was adjusting his tie as he moved towards me kissing my cheek lightly as he passed by grapping the discarded mug from the table and bringing it to the sink. I smiled at this small gesture of domestic living. I had gone for a less is more look I'd chosen a blue and white patterned sleeveless dress with matching shoes. I had been able to keep the make-up light for the most part and thankfully Oliver's little marks of affection had been easier to cover than I had anticipated. Once my hair was up in its usual ponytail I grabbed the white coat from the hanger and my purse reaching for the door. I was about to pull my car keys out when Oliver placed his hand on mine stilling my actions as I looked towards him questions filling my gaze. "Oliver what are you doing we have to go and as far as I know you don't own a car so you'll just have to be uncomfortable for 20 minutes. He just smiled at me as he produced a pair of keys that certainly weren't to a car of any make or model.

"Oliver you're out of your mind there is no way in hell that I'm getting on that deathtrap you call a motorcycle dressed like this." I moved my hands up and down my body to illuminate my point. He just chuckled as he grabbed the helmet from the back of the bike shoving it forward into my hands.

"Felicity car's have to obey traffic laws I however on this do not. We have 15 minutes to get across town. At this time of day it's going to take at least 45 minutes in your car. So chose be tardy or ride with your chest pressed to my back and your arms around my waist." I glared as he smiled in smug assuredness. He knew based on this morning's shower that I indeed had a thing for his back and his waist. So huffing I moved climbing rather unsteadily onto the back of the back pining his hips between my knees as I shoved the helmet over my head and leaned forward. "See at least my way you get to have your hands all over me." I used my index finger and thumb to pinch at his stomach eliciting a light hiss as the engine roared to life. I closed my eyes and leaned even closer resting my head against his back and prayed that my dress would remain put during the ride there.

He had us to Rose's office building in 15 minutes as promised. My heart was still in my throat as I climbed off the back of the bike his hands steadying me as I went. My legs felt jittery from the constant motion of the bikes powerful roaring engine. Frankly I was a little turned on the bikes motions reminding me of Oliver's when he was moving in and out of me rapidly bringing me closer and closer to my organism. I flushed at my private thoughts as I removed the helmet but once I saw my hair those thoughts were gone as sheer horror sunk in. "Felicity you're beautiful stop and move forward." I nodded but still kept moving my hands over the loose strands attempting to fix the matted mess without having to re-do it completely. Grasping my hand he pulled me forward with an exasperated and slightly amused look befalling his face. He pulled me through the lobby my shoes clicking as we went his stride growing longer with each rapid step. Finally we we're in the elevator so I pushed the button for Rose's floor and sighed as the doors slammed shut.

"I can't believe I agreed to riding on that deathtrap, I look like a windstorm focused all its resources on my hair. God Amanda's going to have such a wonderful impression of me now." By this point I had taken the hair tie down as I ran my fingers through my disheveled hair attempting to remove the wind and helmet caused tangles. My hands froze when I felt Oliver's own hand sliding through my hair threading through the strands as he went. His body that was beside me when the elevator ride started was now firmly pressed against my back his breath lightly tickling my neck sending shivers throughout my body. "Oliver what…

"I prefer it when you leave your hair down. It reminds me of how you look as I'm moving above you, within you, and around you. You're so breathtaking in the moment before you come that my heart stills in my chest as you shatter around me. So leave it down… for me…please." I nodded as his lips descended to my neck kissing me softly until the doors pinged and burst open. Moving forward through the open doors he grabbed my hand one last time turning me around pressing a chaste kiss to my lips before asking one last question. "What did you really think of the bike ride?" I smiled softly leaning forward until my lips were at his ear. "It turned me on." With that I leaned away walking forward with Oliver trailing behind his smile going from ear to ear.

"You two really do like to keep things interesting don't you?" Rose met us outside her office looking perfect in her black and red body hugging dress. I just smiled lightly as I followed her in Oliver close behind me. She moved around her office in a flurry of hurried motions as we sat down in the two chairs opposite her immaculate desk. My nerves were beginning to rise as she pressed the speed dial. I kept wringing my hands together as my anxiety took hold my heart began to race as small trickles of sweat began to run down my back causing the thin material of my dress to stick and cling to my wet skin. Oliver looked over and grabbed my hand stilling my movements by rubbing his thumb across my knuckles. He too looked nervous but he unlike me wasn't sweating like a whore in church.

"Alright they're on the way up apparently Amanda saw you both enter on the security cameras so in less than two minutes four heavily armed men will waltz in here and take you both into custody. Remember to remain calm, be clear, and direct. Felicity…." I looked up my eyes filled with utter terror. "Don't speak let Oliver be your spokesman." I nodded and then remembered that we'd changed the original plan but since we'd had sex in the shower neither one of us had called her to inform her of the change. I was about to open my mouth to warn her when the sound of clicking heels caused my blood to run cold.

"Rose I'll take it from here. Please follow the two guards placed outside to base you'll be briefed on your new assignment in route." Rose's face went ashen as she stood slightly nodding in understanding before pining me with a gaze that was filled with remorse and pain. Amanda was separating us; Rose wouldn't be able to help me any further than today. I blanched at this realization. Without her it was just Oliver and I, she was our inside person the one inside ARGUS who could guide me when I ran into a road block. Oliver's grasp on my hand became tighter not in comfort but in warning. This didn't change anything we'd already walked into the lion's den and we had no escape route in play. I felt my world beginning to close up around me threatening to crush me as I fell into its wide open crevice.

"Felicity…." I looked up to Rose once again with tears threatening to fall. "Thank you for agreeing. Thank you for seeing me, for really seeing me." She turned without another word exiting the office just as she entered my life quickly and without warning.

"Well let's dry those eyes and get right down to business I hear through the grapevine that you've accomplished your mission…" Glancing down to our entwined hands she snickered her eyes becoming black and cold. "Based on this heartwarming display of affection I'd say you've done far better than any of us had dared hope." Oliver's hand became firm unmoving and un-detachable against my own as his eyes turned deadly and lethal. Gone was the man from the elevator or even the kitchen table this was Oliver Queen former assassin for ARGUS.

"Move it along Amanda you wanted me now you have me make your pitch before I use the various weapons in this office to end your pathetic existence." I was about to vomit from the stress of being in this room with now two cold blooded killers. I could hear the blood pounding in my eardrums as the room slowly began to spin, my head felt light, and my skin began to burn. Faster and faster that was the beat coming from my heart as the room continued to spin faster and faster as both Oliver's touch and Amanda's form became distant thoughts as the anxiety took full hold. " you look unwell…"

"No I'm fine what I'm not fine with is that fact that you sent Rose away, what I'm not fine with is the fact that you intend to drag this along until one of us breaks. So please you soulless ice cold bitch tell us what you want and then let us go home." I had surprised them both with my strong and very angry voice. However no one was more shocked than myself. I'd apparently found my backbone, I'd found what motivated me for these past 6 almost 7 months. First it was Oliver and my growing need to protect him from harm. This time it was not just Oliver but Rose, regardless of how we started or how we met she cared for me as I did her and Amanda had sent her away with no warning and no regard. My motivation was clear it was love and now Amanda was about to see a whole new side to Felicity Smoak because so was I.

"I'm sorry what did you just call me.." Her tone was icy and dead much like her soul I assumed so I released Oliver's hand and stood up coming face to face with my recruiter and my would be murderer. "You heard me so either accept our terms or we walk." I felt my legs shaking beneath me but I remained firm hoping my power play actually worked.

Smiling quite crudely she took a seat Rose's seat and motioned for me to sit with an outstretched uncaring wave. "Fine Felicity name your terms." I nodded while refusing to take a seat so I took yet another step forward sending shockwaves of fear throughout my entire body. Leaning forward I leveled her with my gaze of hatred and distain as I spoke leaving no room for misinterpretation.

"First off Rose is my handler so I'd bring her back now. Second Oliver and I we're a package deal he'll do the field work as the Hood and I'll be the voice in his ear ranging from recon to any and all cyber related jobs that come forward. Third and just so you don't attempt to use this against us later on yes we're involved, we live together, and we're soon to be engaged so remove any and all attempts to subvert our relationship for your devious means. Do I make myself clear?" My tone was cold and deadly but also slightly tense since I'd just announced that Oliver and I were engaged or about to be without us being anywhere close to that stage.

Amanda was hard to read and colder than any living or breathing person that I'd ever come into contact with. I took this moment to truly examine her. She was beautiful, with flawless ebony skin and those dark deep brown eyes that right now were filled with utter hate and loathing. Her face was perfect down to her full red lipstick stained lips. I glanced down lower her build was slight and petite but strong leaving no room for misunderstandings she must have been about 5'7 or 5'8 but was about 5'11 with her 2 or 3 inch black pumps. Remembering to breathe I waited for her to speak or hell even blink in response. Her legs draped one over the other moved as she stood up once again placing her hands palms down on the cold glass table. "Agreed I'll have Rose brought up to speed. Now Oliver you and I have business to attend to so would you rather have your almost fiancé in the room or out." She stumbled over those last words hardly believing them to be accurate. I too glanced towards him hoping that I hadn't just blown our entire plan and relationship apart.

"She's going to be my wife Amanda we have no secrets from one another so she stays." I gasped his tone was sure and confident whatever game he was playing he was in a league all his own. "After all you've already given her my ARGUS file, she knows about my year with your organization, she knows how you trained me to kill, torture, and destroy anyone who got in my way. So really what else is there to hide perhaps it's you who wants her gone but it most certainly isn't I." I was amazed he hadn't moved an inch; he was poised, calm, and confident. His body language giving nothing away in that moment I realized just how truly cold and calculating he could be. Amanda sized him up looking for any sign of weakness within his eyes and finding none. She sighed as she sat back down. "Fine she stays so let's get down to business shall we I have a lot riding on you two." Walking backwards I slumped down into the chair my legs thanking me for the break. Oliver's hand came towards mine his strong grasp pulling my entangled fingers apart as he ensnared one marking me as his for all the room to see. "So what's our mission?"