Epilogue: Charade

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Hackett's words swirled around her, enveloping her. The Alliance offered protection. A ship like the Normandy, cruising on its own without a flag… There could be serious consequences. They were prepared to offer guarantees, security – anything they wanted. "One last job," he had said. "We need someone with your skills."

She was not used to working alone, but that didn't deter her. She needed something other than the occasional drinking game with Jack to numb the empty space in her chest. It hadn't been about loving Jacob. "Love" was not the right word. But "hope" had been. She had felt that for once, things could go right without having to sacrifice something.

Oh, the irony, she thought, staring at the image of the bloody Reaper that had appeared in front of her. Talk about sacrifice. A whole star system forever lost in time and space, thanks to another indoctrinated loon. As she ran for the Normandy, she wondered if they would be prepared for the Arrival that Harbinger had talked about. She had the vague suspicion that she wouldn't be let off the hook so easily.

Seeing Hackett in person only confirmed that.

"I'm sorry those batarians lost their lives, but someone has to make-"

"-the difficult decisions that get people killed," she muttered. He wasn't there just to debrief her in person. Her fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. She gripped the edges of the exam table, fighting back the nausea. "They're outside, aren't they? Your men."

"Yes," Hackett replied gently.

"Let my guys go," she commanded. No, not before him. Him, she couldn't command. To him, she had to ask. "Please."

"The Normandy will be impounded and thoroughly checked. Mr. Moreau will fly her to the port of Omega, and that's where your squad can stay – should stay." Hackett sighed. "What you've done… I would have done the same damned thing. But someone has to face the music, otherwise we are looking at the prospect of open war with the batarians."

"So what about me?" she asked.

"Back to Earth, with your dress blues on."

"Earth… And still no wine for me." She chucked bitterly and then she raised her eyes. He was staring at her. "Never mind."

"Here." He gave her back the datapad. "I don't need to see this to know you've done the right thing. You always do." He shook her hand and before she could withdraw it, he patted it in a fatherly way.

Parents. Always messing with your life.

She stood there, waiting for them. They would surely come. She hoped that Jack would not attack anyone before talking to her. Shit, she'd probably punch her. She'd told her that she shouldn't get involved with the Alliance again. And Grunt… He'd go back to his clan, surely. Miranda would be fine. Tali and Mordin would go back to their people. Garrus would say something like "what the hell, Shepard?" She wanted to laugh, but the image of Thane appeared before her eyes. How long would he have before he…?

She heard their footsteps rushing towards her. She clenched her jaw and put a smile on her face. "This isn't over yet…" she muttered to herself.

And for the first time in a long, long time, she believed her own lies.

...

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