A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)
Thank you, CieloFede, for beta-ing:)
Optomistic-Yes, Anna's learning just how to help Elsa.:) I agree; now that they're together again, I think Anna wouldn't care what she has to do, just as long as it helps Elsa. Thanks for the review!:)
Fatten Saad-I agree. Gerda IS like a mother to Elsa (and really, Anna too, to a lesser extent). And here is the next chapter!;)
dmcreif-Glah, now that I have thoroughly mixed up probably EVERYONE on this, let me explain anyway...those comments the duke made in chapter 29 of Secret Passages apply to the sequel to Adventures of Elsa & Anna, NOT this story.:P I'm very, very sorry for the mixup. Guess that's what I get for planning a bunch of stories that are all technically connected. Sorry.:/ (I complicate things way too much sometimes...stupid, I suppose...:P)
Frozen789-Of course Elsa's speech will turn out. She's Elsa!:) Just...she's not doing it yet.:P
BellaCullen-I just didn't think Elsa would be insta-happy, that's all.:P And it sounds like you agree.;) Thanks for the review:)
mctiffanygamingmc-Thank you:)
On to the story!:)
Late that evening, Anna followed Elsa into her room and flopped down on the bed. "Y'know, I think I'm going to stay in here with you no matter what you say. Your goofy little sister will try to ward off the icky nightmares," Anna announced.
Elsa figuratively froze for a moment before saying, "Anna…I'm too dependent on y-you. I need to learn how t-to…do things on my own." On my own without losing control, stuttering, or getting upset… She gently pushed Anna out of the way and climbed under the covers. And I don't want to get one of those horrible…panic attack things, whatever they were, during the night and hurt Anna. I'll have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I barely knew what was going on at all when that happened earlier.
Anna made a face. "You 'did things on your own' for thirteen years. You don't have to do that anymore…Elsa, does this have anything to do with that little episode earlier when you freaked out?"
Elsa turned over and didn't reply. Partly.
So it is that then, Anna decided. "Elsa, I didn't mind taking care of you when that happened. So you needed help. Big deal. I am not going to just leave you alone when you need help. Ever." She put one hand on her sister's shoulder, and Elsa turned back over to face Anna.
"It's not that…I don't want you t-to leave me alone. It's just…" Elsa paused, trying to figure out how to express what she meant. Elsa, just tell her. And take a deep breath before you continue. It helps a little bit. "Anna, I physically can't function very well right now without y-you right with me all the t-time. That isn't good." Pause. "One example is what happened when I talked t-to Hans in the Great Hall the other d-day after the Great Thaw. All he did was s-say…certain things to me, and I c-completely lost it. I don't know what w-would have happened if you hadn't c-come in when you did." Elsa clasped her hands together and stopped talking.
"That Prince Creep was playing mind games with you, Elsa! That wasn't your fault!"
"The nightmares? What about those?" Elsa demanded. "It's so…lame! I'm twenty-one years old a-and I can't even get through the night on my own without y-your help to calm me down and t-tell me it's not real!" Elsa, calm down. Quit your almost-shouting. Now.
"Good grief, Elsa, what do you expect?! You were hurt inside for thirteen freaking years for goodness sakes! Give yourself a break!" Anna shouted. Then, in a normal volume, "You go to sleep and quit picking on yourself and think about something that makes you happy before you fall asleep. I'm staying in here with you tonight. Really, I think you're too hard on yourself. I think I understand what you really mean, but it doesn't matter. You're perfect just like you are to me." I think Elsa just wants to quit having to rely on me to help her, and just be choosing to spend time together instead.
No one wants a girl who's way too dependent on her younger sister in charge of their kingdom. I know Anna's just trying to help me, and she is; but I'm too…I don't know what the right word is…too needy, too reliant, something. Elsa just said nothing. She appreciated Anna being willing to help her so much, but she did not like needing so much help in the first place. I'd love it if I could just be…like I was when I was little, and then I could still spend lots of time with Anna. But I wouldn't be making her have to help and take care of me all the time. I should be taking care of her.
"Elsa, what did you mean when you kept saying 'it hurt' earlier?" Anna asked suddenly. "Andpleasedon'tfreakoutIjustwanttoknowsoIcanhelpnexttime," she added, all her words running together.
Elsa scrunched her eyes shut and pressed one hand to her chest. You're okay right now, Elsa. Anna just wants to know, that's all. "I think…when I get c-completely freaked out like that…the ice j-just keeps building up inside me so m-much I feel l-like I'm going to explode. It makes m-my chest hurt the worst, a-and it just gets worse and w-worse and spreads until I'm hurting all o-over, and I think that j-just scares me more…I don't know how t-to explain it, but it's awful…" It isn't happening now, Elsa. It isn't happening now. You're fine. And you forgot to take a deep breath before you started talking that time, too.
That's what happened before at the ice palace. Elsa really did explode, probably because she was trying too hard to hold all the ice in. Anna abruptly tossed one arm around Elsa and pulled her close. "I'm gonna try to make sure that doesn't happen to you again, Elsa. If you start feeling that pain in your chest, even a little teeny bit, you have to tell me right away so's we can make you happy again before you have another freakout. Do you mind if we call whatever happened that?" I gotta stay with Elsa as much as possible…I don't want that to happen to her and then I'm not there to help her.
"Sounds fine," Elsa said sleepily. "I will…tell my baby sister…if I'm feeling…like that again…g'night, Anna…" I feel safe right now.
Elsa jerked awake a few hours later to Anna flailing about in her sleep and accidentally hitting her in the face. "Ow! Anna! You stop that! Stay still!" Elsa remembered her little sister moving about a lot in her sleep when she was little, but this seemed too much, even for Anna. Wait a second… She reached to turn on the kerosene lamp on the nightstand; then balled her hands into angry fists when the lamp crashed loudly on the floor. I am so clumsy…really, Elsa? How did you manage to knock the whole lamp on the floor?!
"Elsa?" Anna mumbled. "What's going on? Wait, my big sister's ok! She's ok!" She abruptly sat up and threw her arms around Elsa, hugging her tightly, as if assuring herself that yes, Elsa was indeed safe and sound. "I froze before I could get to you but I could still see you somehow and that horrible creep-"
"Not real," Elsa interrupted. "I'm right here and I'm s-safe with my very alive l-little sister." Anna's dream wasn't even so much about her as it was about me…because she couldn't get to me on time…
"Um, Elsa, what was that crashing noise that woke me up?" Anna asked a minute later.
Elsa pulled off one glove and carefully made the sparkling blue glow her powers could create. Then she stuck her hand out and held it over the broken lamp on the floor. "That," she said simply. "I knocked it over…"
Anna peeked over Elsa's shoulder at the floor and started giggling. "My always-perfectly-coordinated sister broke a lamp?!"
Elsa made a face. "My fingers are still overly s-sensitive, but after a few days of n-not wearing gloves all the t-time, I guess they just m-made me clumsy…I don't know…"
"You could've just taken 'em off, you silly!" Anna pointed out.
"I'm not ready t-to try sleeping without them," Elsa said softly. I made it through about half a night a couple nights ago when I ran down to Anna's room in the middle of the night, though…
"Well…just take them off whenever you're ready," Anna replied, the half-teasing tone in her voice having completely disappeared. "And by the way, your little sparkly blue glow thing makes a pretty lamp."
Elsa smiled a bit and just stared at the sparkling blue light hovering over her palm. "It really does, doesn't it?" Anna's right. It is pretty. Useful, too. She let the glow dissolve and pulled her glove back on before curling back up under the covers. "I know you don't n-need my help like I need y-yours, but…I'll be right here if y-you have a bad dream again." Anna just immediately went back to her usual giggly happy self right after she woke up, but I'll try to be there for her, just in case.
"We'll be here for each other, you mean," Anna said sleepily.
"'Kay…thank you Anna…I love you," came Elsa's mumbled half-asleep reply.
Elsa wasn't sure why she woke up again hours later, so early in the morning it was still dark. Anna was half-dangling off the bed, but she was fast asleep and she wasn't kicking Elsa or moving about in her sleep. What's going on? I do not wake up for no reason. Something disturbed me enough to wake me up, and it wasn't Anna kicking me and it wasn't a nightmare…wait a minute, I haven't had any bad dreams tonight at all! Good, Elsa. Elsa clapped one hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp when she thought she spotted a dim light from out in the hall under her door. Who would be up at this hour?! She carefully slid off the end of the bed, remembering that there was a broken lamp on the floor next to the side of the bed.
After tiptoeing over to the door, Elsa pressed her ear against it, trying to detect any noises from out in the hall. A board creaking. Heavy footsteps attempting to be quiet. What's going on out there?! All of Elsa's safety instincts told her whatever she did, she should not open that door. She had already made that mistake once when she had peeked outside to investigate at the ice palace. All that had gotten her were two assassins after her. Never again. It's probably nothing, but… Elsa's hand slid up to the doorknob and she locked the door, something she hadn't done since before the Great Thaw.
Click.
Elsa winced at the seemingly loud noise of the lock clicking in the night almost-silence. Well, I've given away that I'm awake, so… "Who's there?" she called through the door.
"Just guard patrol," Elsa heard someone say.
What? "I did not order a g-guard patrol," Elsa answered. Give me an explanation. Now. This is creeping me out.
Elsa frowned when all she heard were footsteps fading away down the hall. On impulse, she opened the door and peeked down the hall. There were two male figures wearing guard uniforms holding candles, but one of them was limping, and Elsa was almost certain he was not wearing shoes. Elsa's eyes went wide, and she immediately eased the door shut silently without saying a word. I think someone was in my room. That's what woke me up. She leaned against the door, breathing hard and trying her best not to freak herself out. Elsa, you're probably overreacting. You always do. So why not now?
THERE WAS SOMEONE IN MY ROOM! That's why! In the middle of the night! Struck by an idea, Elsa climbed back on her bed, tore off her gloves, and formed that sparkling blue glow with both hands this time so it would be brighter. She squinted at the shattered lamp on the floor. It seems like it's in a different position than before, but I can't be certain… Just in case, Elsa froze her door shut. Now if someone tried to break in, they would have to make a lot of noise to break it down. Okay, Anna and I are safe now. Last time I froze my door shut, I was all alone and I couldn't even thaw it if I wanted to. This time, Anna is with me and I can easily get out when I want to. Elsa slept soundly the rest of the night, despite the disturbing interruption.
As Elsa and Anna headed out of Elsa's room into the hall the next morning for breakfast, Elsa was positive she saw a shadow disappear into a room farther down the hall. That was a person; I know it was…Someone that didn't want to be seen. "Did you see that?" Elsa whispered.
"See what?" Anna asked. "I didn't see anything."
"Maybe it's nothing then…" Elsa's voice trailed off as she scanned the hall for anything remotely suspicious. Nothing. Wait a second… Elsa thought she detected a quiet rustling sound and gestured for Anna to be quiet. "Stay here," she mouthed.
Anna nodded and watched her sister tiptoe down the hall. Elsa's gotta be just hearing things, 'cause I didn't see or hear ANYTHING.
Elsa hesitantly peeked inside the guest room where she'd thought the rustling had come from. There's no one in here. I must have been being paranoid. I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry though, right? "I guess it's nothing," she called back down the hall to Anna.
"Thought so!" Anna ran to meet Elsa. "What was it you heard anyhow?"
"I could have sworn I s-saw a shadow and then heard rustling of some k-kind," Elsa replied, still wondering just what had happened. My ears are hardly ever wrong. It could have just been…what? I can't think of a thing… Elsa yelped in surprise when something ran into her and nearly knocked her over. Now what?!
"Well, excuse you!" Anna exclaimed. "Don't you think you might want to apologize to my sister?" I don't recognize this guy…he's dressed as a castle guard, but… Anna prided herself on knowing everyone who worked in the castle now, so it surprised her that there was someone she didn't know.
"Sorry, your majesty," he said quickly, and started to speed-walk away.
Elsa frowned. Something's…off here. I'm not mad he ran into me; that could easily just be an accident. But I don't know…something is odd, and I don't know what. After what happened last night, I'm suspicious. "Forgiven. Name please?" she asked. Not only did she not recognize this guard and so she wanted to know his name, she wanted his name just in case something was awry.
"Erik, Queen Elsa."
"Thank you." Elsa watched as Erik went off down the stairs, her mind flitting from one crazy idea to the next. She finally decided maybe he was just clumsy. That was the most logical, right? The only thing is, that doesn't explain the shadow and rustling from earlier…or someone being in my room last night.
After breakfast, Anna suggested that maybe Elsa could just practice reading aloud from a book. "Besides, I always liked listening to you read to me when we were little," Anna said.
But I didn't stutter when I was little. You don't want to listen to me read now… Elsa frowned, but she agreed. Maybe reading aloud would help her. It couldn't hurt, anyways. "Let's read in the parlor. I'll get a book and c-come right back."
"'Kay!"
Elsa ran upstairs and headed for the library. I'll find one of those fairy tale books Anna likes. If she has to listen to me reading aloud and stuttering, then at least it'll be a story she likes. She stopped in her tracks in the hallway when she heard that same rustling sound again. That isn't nothing. I know it isn't… Staying wary of her surroundings, Elsa tiptoed silently toward the sound. It seemed to be coming from one of the little-used guest rooms. Elsa hesitantly peeked inside and saw nothing out of the ordinary, so she slowly walked inside. Stay watchful, Elsa. Don't let down your guard. Just in case. Elsa was just starting to look at a small pile of papers on a table-why were there papers in here?-when she clearly heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. She frantically glanced around the room and jumped behind a large chair. There were no entrances into the secret passages in this room. If you're coming in here, whoever you are, please don't see me…please don't see me…And calm down, Elsa!
"The fire should be ready to take the ice soon," Elsa heard a man's voice say.
"Can't do that-ice is suspicious now," another voice said. "It may be broken, but it still has the power at the moment.
What? That doesn't make any sense. How can ice be suspicious? Then it hit her like a brick. Elsa glanced down at her hands in horror. Ice…Snow Queen…Elsa…me…They're talking about me! Take the ice? What does that mean? And I am not broken!
"Fire is strong but naïve. It won't be a problem. Get rid of it too for all I care," the first voice said.
Elsa scrunched herself down smaller behind the chair. Please don't find me. Please… Fire? Is that Anna? She doesn't have fire powers…but wait, she does have reddish hair. And a fiery personality when she's mad. The ice is me and the fire is Anna. I know it is. Code words for…for some kind of plot? Those people want to get rid of me and my sister! Why?! What am I going to do? She clasped her hands together tightly, knowing she was starting to make the temperature drop in the room. Elsa, stop it! You're going to get discovered in here!
"Is it just me or is it getting cold in here?" the second voice asked suspiciously. "Wait a minute…I bet she's in here. Listening."
"It doesn't matter," the first voice responded. "Put your mask on."
Elsa was still debating whether to reveal herself or not when she suddenly felt herself being roughly yanked by one arm from her hiding place. Why?! Why is this happening? Anna, please just come upstairs. Please.
Elsa, freeze those people and escape. You know you can.
I can't! I can't risk killing people…
You won't. You know how to control it now, at least mostly. Just freeze their feet to the floor and run away. Elsa bit her lip and started to hold her free hand out to use her powers.
"Ah, before you try that" the man nonchalantly pushed Elsa's hand down "you just listen for a minute. You expose one word of what you just heard and your precious little sister will get it. Got that?"
Elsa's eyes began filling with tears, and she tried to blink them away. Wait a minute… "I'm not stupid. There are t-two of you here, and if I expose b-both of you, then Princess Anna w-will be perfectly safe," she answered. Elsa quickly etched the two men's physiques into her mind. They may have been wearing masks that hid their faces, but at least she would have a little something to identify them by. One was short and thin; the other was tall and large, but not fat.
"You think there are only two of us? There are several within the castle staff," the man announced.
"Prove it." Elsa's blue eyes flashed as she delivered her simple reply. Anna, please be safe. I can deal with two, but not several…
"I doubt you'd want to risk your sister's life on a suspicion, would you? I will not 'prove' anything to you."
What do I do? Elsa slowly lifted her hand again, figuring she could always escape and not expose this…for now. Please let me go. Why are you trying to undermine me? I haven't ruined Arendelle's economy or anything. I did freeze the kingdom, but Anna helped me fix that.
"You don't want to do that, ice girl."
Elsa dropped her hand, but she couldn't help the ice spreading under her feet. Calm down, Elsa! Calm down calm down calm down. "Why are you d-doing this?" she asked finally.
"You're denser than I thought if you really have to ask that."
Elsa made a pained noise when she was suddenly slammed hard against the wall. "Please…I…can't…breathe," she gasped out, uselessly trying to pry the hand pinning her by the throat away from her. Why is this happening to me? I've tried to fix everything, and it's still…not good enough.
"Too bad. And you really want to know? You're a twenty-one-year-old girl. You have unnatural ice powers. You can't even talk properly. You have these…episodes, shall we say, and then your sister has to go try to fix you. You have too many problems to take care of this country properly. You're broken."
The man released Elsa, and she crumpled to the floor in a crying heap, coughing and gasping for breath. I'm not broken…am I? Anna said I wasn't. I'm not broken! I am not broken. Elsa lifted her face toward the two men and managed to say just one thing. "I am…n-not…broken."
"Really. You just listen. Do not say one word of this to anyone-your sister included-or she gets it. Got that?"
Elsa slowly nodded from her spot on the floor, her desire to fight back gone at the threat to Anna. Please just leave Arendelle and don't come back. I know I'm not perfect, but I know I can take care of my country as long as Anna helps me…
"We will be in touch. You know, work out some signatures for certain papers and such."
Elsa sighed in relief when the two men left her alone there on the floor. She scrambled to her feet and hightailed it down the hall, and ran into Anna halfway to the library. "I'm s-sorry," she said quietly, and made as if to run off.
Anna grabbed her sister's arm. "Wait. Elsa, what on earth happened? I was waiting for you to come back with a book, and I thought maybe you'd decided to stay in the library, so I came up here, and now I find you all upset, and…Elsa, are you hurt? You look like you're wincing…"
"I'm fine…I'm fine…" Elsa collapsed against her sister's shoulder and began sobbing all over again. I can't even tell you what's wrong, Anna. There are people in this castle trying to undermine the both of us and they'll kill you if I tell you or anyone else anything. 'You have too many problems to take care of this country properly. You're broken.'
Elsa, you are not broken. They were just…saying things. Right?
Anna frowned. "You don't sound fine. You aren't acting fine, either…c'mon, Elsa. I'll take you to the library." What happened? Did someone hurt her? Well, duh, someone hurt Elsa; she wouldn't be acting like this otherwise, right? She quickly scooped Elsa up and stumbled down the hall to the library.
This is just proving those horrible people were partly right. Anna's…carrying me down the hall.
You're broken.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are. Look at you. You're pathetic. You can't even walk down the hall by yourself. You just started bawling instead. Broken.
I am not! Am I? Elsa's thoughts kept arguing back and forth as Anna gently laid her down on a sofa in the library. Well, Anna loves and cares about me, so if I am broken, it doesn't matter. She can fix me if I need it then.
Anna knelt next to Elsa and held her hand tightly. "Can you please tell me what's wrong? Are you in pain? Did someone hurt you, or what? What happened?"
I can't tell you… Elsa bit her lip, wondering what to say. "Am I…am I broken?" she blurted finally. Shut up, Elsa. Why did you ask Anna that? You know what she's going to say. No.
"Of course not! Where did that come from?!" Anna's expression suddenly darkened, and she demanded, "Who told you that, Elsa? Who hurt you?"
Elsa's hand flew to her neck, wondering if there were bruises visible or something. It doesn't matter. I don't have an explanation for that or anything else. Please don't figure it out, Anna…please… Elsa's breathing grew shallow and rapid, and she scrunched her eyes shut, willing herself to calm down. I promised Anna I would tell her if I started feeling that ice building up explosion thing again… "Anna…it's happening…again…" Breathe, Elsa. Take deep breaths like last time. Slow.
Anna gave the cold hand she was holding a reassuring squeeze. Well, Elsa's not too cold to touch, so that freakout thing isn't going to get that far again. "It's all right, Elsa. Breathe deep and slow like last time. In…hoooold it…now let it out. Now again…"
Elsa already felt better, but she kept doing the deep breaths thing for a few minutes anyway, just in case. "Thank you, Anna," she said finally. I can't tell Anna what happened, but there has to be a way to get those usurpers out of Arendelle castle. I just have to think. They are not going to break me. I do have problems, I admit that, but I do not have 'too many problems to take care of this country'. So there.
"You're welcome. See, you got out of your upset mode loads quicker this time," Anna said, giving Elsa an encouraging smile. Anna's smile disappeared as she added, "Elsa…I know there's something you aren't telling me about why you got upset this time. Who hurt you?"
"It's not important," Elsa whispered. The only important thing is that I keep Anna safe. I can't tell her.
On a sudden suspicion, Anna gently laid her hand on Elsa's arm in the same spot where she had grabbed her in the hall.
Elsa flinched slightly since her arm was still tender from that man grabbing her. There's probably a bruise there. It's a good thing my dress covers it up.
Thought so. "Elsa, I don't care what you say. You're hurt. I barely touched your arm, and you flinched. I repeat…WHO HURT YOU? And why?!" Anna paused; then said, "And don't tell me you ran into something or fell. Because that might have gotten you hurt, but it wouldn't have made you upset."
Elsa just shook her head. Why does Anna have to read me so well? Please stop asking me, Anna. It's just a bruise; I'm fine. You're the one that's in danger. I have to keep you safe. "I'm all right, Anna…it's j-just a bruise. No big deal. Please just l-leave me alone about it…please…"
Anna made a face and balled her hands into angry fists. Someone hurt Elsa; I just know it! I know she didn't get a bruise on her arm on her own. Who would hurt her like that?! "Are you hurt anywhere else?" she asked.
"I'm fine." Elsa just evaded the question. How was she supposed to explain that her neck was sore and her shoulders and back ached from being slammed up against a wall? No way am I telling Anna that. I'll be fine. I'm more concerned about figuring out what to do. I feel helpless. I don't even know exactly who's loyal and who isn't.
Anna bit her lip, but she didn't press the issue. Obviously Elsa was not going to say any more about it.
"Anna," Elsa said suddenly, her voice easily getting the point across that what she was about to say was very important. "Anna…promise me something. If I give y-you any instructions, you must f-follow them immediately. To the letter. This is very, very i-important, all right?" She gazed intently at Anna, hoping her sister got the message that she was not just getting freaked out over nothing or something. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but there has to be something. I'm not going down without a fight. Not this time. If all else fails, I will send Anna out of the country to…to Corona or something and deal with this myself. Then whoever the usurpers are will not have any hold on me other than breaking me inside or threatening me. If Anna is safe elsewhere, I will defend myself and have those people banished from Arendelle or sent to the dungeon or something. I'm not helpless. If I moved quick enough, they wouldn't have time to try to break me inside like they were trying to do to me earlier. Elsa felt much better now that she had the beginnings of a plan. The only issue was that deep inside Elsa knew she wouldn't be able to hold it together on her own long enough to carry her plan out. She wasn't helpless, but she needed Anna with her when she became upset. And if anyone caught on to why she was sending Anna out of the country, they could very well just follow her or something. That wouldn't help. Still, it's better than nothing.
"I promise, Elsa." Anna met her sister's intense gaze unwaveringly. Elsa knows something, and she won't talk about it. Someone hurt her, and she thinks we're both in danger. I'm almost positive.
Elsa relaxed as she sighed and slowly got to her feet. "Thank you. I knew I could c-count on you." She was sure she could come up with a plan; the trouble was whether she would be able to carry it out or not. Smarts in my head are not going to make the rest of me suddenly strong as a brick wall. Elsa thought a grown-up version of her happy eight-year-old self might have been able to concoct a complicated plan and carry it out successfully; but her present-day real-life self might very well concoct that same complicated plan and it would get no further than her mind before falling to pieces because she lost control and got upset too easily and couldn't talk right. I will come up with something that will work for the person I am today.
I will not fail.
A/N: Annnddd...the plot is now underway.:P
Yes, Elsa did technically have the ability to get away from the two men on her own before they threatened her, but she's still not quite on top of her game at this point. You have to move faster, Elsa!:/
Next chapter coming soon!:)