A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)
johnpatgillespie-Thank you!:)
Lindstrom-I PROMISE Elsa will get rid of them.:) She just has to figure out how.:P
BellaCullen931-Your guess you told me via PM was correct.;)
FanGirlJen-Thanks! Here is more:)
IcyeyesBright99-Thank you.:) Glah, I'm starting to regret Elsa's stuttering a little, even if I do have full intentions of having it disappear by the end of this story.:P It just kind of happened...y'know how a character sort of just does something sometimes? Well, Elsa told me she stutters at this point, but that she doesn't like it. Good grief, I sound like I'm crazy...NVM...:P I'll just say I promise Elsa will stop somewhat soon.:)
princessdianaofparadiseisland-Yes, they are jerks, and yes, they're freaking Elsa out. But give Elsa a chance to do something.:)
Fatten Saad-Yay! That means my plot is engaging.:)
On to the story!:)
After dinner that night (Elsa nearly burned her tongue, forgetting that her food was hot), Elsa decided to take a nice warm bath. Maybe it would help her relax a little. I haven't had a real bath since I was little. Just sponge baths because I always froze the water otherwise. She eagerly filled the tub with warm water and climbed in, making sure her bathroom door was locked and frozen shut, just for good measure. The absolute last thing I want is someone finding me in the bath. I'd be mortified and probably completely lose control and who knows what else.
Elsa just lay back in the water and closed her eyes. Warm water feels so nice. It makes me ache less too. Elsa's back and shoulders were still sore, but she felt much better than earlier. On impulse, she glanced at the bruise on her arm and immediately wished she hadn't. My pale skin just makes that bruise stand out worse than it would anyways. Terrific. Elsa dropped her arm back under the water, ignoring the water that splashed on the floor. I should get out of here and go to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe everything will be better tomorrow.
Wait a minute…that man knew about my panic attack things, or freakouts, as Anna likes to call them. That means that he, or one of his followers, was eavesdropping on me. At least one of those usurpers follows me around! Now I have a clue. If I see someone in Arendelle guard uniform subtly following me around directly, he's probably one of them. The guards leave me alone for the most part unless I say otherwise, so…And that one man Erik…is he part of that plot, or is he just clumsy? I don't know, but I'm going to keep an eye on him. Happy with her deductions, Elsa quickly hopped out of the bath and drained the tub. I forgot my nightgown…it's still in my dresser. Oops. Elsa dried herself off before securely wrapping her towel around herself and thawing the ice on the door. She peeked out to see if her room's door was shut (it was) and ran over to her dresser.
"Elsa, what happened?!" Anna asked. She sounded absolutely horrified.
Elsa jumped at the sound of Anna's voice. "What? I just forgot my n-nightgown, that's all…" She quickly pulled it out of a drawer and started back for the bathroom.
"Come here, Elsa," Anna said firmly.
Elsa frowned. "Just give me a m-minute. I'll be right back," she replied. Elsa didn't care if it was just her sister or not; she felt very self-conscious with just her towel wrapped around her.
Anna hopped off the bed, ran over to Elsa, and gently turned her around so her back faced Anna. "Elsa, you have bruises all over your back and shoulders. Really bad ones. Who did this to you?" Elsa couldn't have done this to herself…it's impossible. Someone hurt her. Anna just stared indignantly at the dark bruises all over Elsa's fair skin. She was outright angry that someone dared to hurt her sister like that. Who on earth would do that to Elsa?! And WHY?!
Elsa tensed up and ran into the bathroom. I should have known. I hadn't even thought that there might be bruises all over me…that means the ones on my shoulders probably showed all afternoon and I didn't even know it. Then again, they're probably darker now, so maybe they didn't show too bad earlier. Elsa pulled on her nightgown before brushing her hair and going back into her room, bracing herself for Anna's questions.
Sure enough, the moment after Elsa had settled herself on her tummy under the covers, Anna started in on her questions. "Who hurt you, Elsa?" Anna asked quietly. "You don't get bruises like that any old way…"
Elsa just scrunched her eyes shut and didn't reply. I don't even know exactly who did it. I couldn't see his face. I wish I had; that would give me more information to go on.
Anna sighed and carefully put one arm around Elsa, trying her best not to put any pressure on her sister's bruised back. "If you can't tell me who did it, then could you tell me what happened?"
"I got…s-slammed up…against…a wall," Elsa whispered. Even Anna's gentle touch made her flinch, but she still didn't pull away. At least I can have Anna with me now. And it's okay to tell Anna just that, isn't it? I mean, she already knows I couldn't have done that to myself. Elsa's eyes filled with tears as she remembered that man telling her that she had too many problems to take care of Arendelle and that she was broken. Those words hurt her far more than her bruises did. Elsa, you are not broken. Anna is right here with you. She makes it so you aren't. And you do have problems, but not too many to take care of Arendelle. So there.
Someone slammed her against a wall?! Elsa could have gotten seriously hurt! Those bruises are bad enough… "Elsa, why didn't you just defend yourself?" Anna asked. Oh, Elsa. I wish I'd come upstairs sooner and seen whoever did this to you. I know you could have just used your powers to defend yourself; I'm positive. Who in the world would want to slam Elsa against a wall and hurt her like that? I could see that Prince Creep doing that, but he's not here. I KNOW that.
Elsa slowly turned her head so she could see Anna. "I…couldn't…I just…" Shut up, Elsa. You've said too much already. What if someone is eavesdropping on you right now? "Never mind."
Anna could tell her sister was growing scared-she could see it in Elsa's eyes-so she dropped the topic. The last thing Elsa needs is thinking about this right before she goes to sleep. I don't want her to get a nightmare about this. "It's all right, Elsa. Let's not talk about it anymore…can I just ask one more question?"
"You just did," Elsa replied, giving Anna a tiny half-smile.
Anna felt encouraged by Elsa's response, and went ahead and asked her question. "Do your bruises hurt a lot? 'Cause maybe we can find something to put on them to make 'em feel better."
Elsa shrugged one shoulder slightly. "I'm okay. It's not too bad," she said honestly. I'm just achy. I don't want to sleep on my back and lay on them, but other than that, I feel almost normal.
I just used the word 'normal' to refer to myself…wow, Elsa, Anna would be proud of you. Elsa smiled and let her eyes drift shut; then blinked them open again a moment later. "Anna…could I have my gloves please? I f-forgot them on the…on the nightstand…never mind…" She quickly reached for them herself and slipped them on before sliding back under the covers, still lying on her tummy. "G'night, Anna."
"I was hoping those stupid gloves would stay forgotten," Anna informed her sleepy sister. At least Elsa isn't in a ton of pain, I suppose? Maybe her bruises look worse than they really are. I hate knowing my sweet sister got slammed against a wall and I wasn't there to help her. "Elsa, I'm sorry I wasn't there with you earlier…"
"'S okay…not your fault," Elsa mumbled sleepily. I will figure the problem out, and I will not let anyone hurt Anna.
The next morning, Elsa put on one of her regular dresses instead of her ice-dress because she didn't want the bruises on her shoulders to show. Elsa still fixed her hair in her always-favorite single braid and let the tiny sparkly ice snowflakes stay. And she still wore those ice shoes she had made. Elsa frowned at her reflection in the mirror in the bathroom. She had succeeded in hiding the evidence that someone had assaulted her the day before (Wow, I must like dramatic words, Elsa thought); but she also felt too much like that scared and repressed girl from before. I'm hiding something, just like before. Elsa, you should just put your ice-dress on and tough luck that some of the bruises show. Elsa wasn't sure what to do…it wasn't so much that she was embarrassed to be seen with her shoulders all bruised up like that as it was that she didn't want to have to deal with anyone asking her about it. I'll ask Anna when she wakes up. She will tell me honestly what she thinks I should do.
So the second Anna woke up (reluctantly after Elsa had shaken her several times and telling her it was close to breakfast time), Elsa started to ask her sister, but was promptly interrupted.
"Elsa why are you wearing that?" Anna asked, glancing at Elsa's dark blue dress. "I mean, you look fine, but not very…happy, I guess, I don't know…"
"My bruises show with m-my ice-dress…" Elsa's voice trailed off and she didn't explain further. And I don't want to talk about it every time someone sees me.
Anna thought for a moment. That makes sense. Elsa didn't even want to talk to me about it. "Maybe they've faded some and aren't as noticeable anymore. Can I see?"
Elsa frowned but started undoing the buttons on the back of her dress, something she had become good at from all those years when nobody could help her do up buttons that were hard to reach. Anna, bruises don't fade overnight, especially on someone with skin as light as mine…at least I'm pretty sure of that. "They're probably still really d-dark, Anna. I'm so light they'll stay n-noticeable until they're completely gone."
"Well, let's look first," Anna said firmly. In the morning light, Elsa's bruises were more obvious than ever, and Anna felt awful. Oh, Elsa. I don't understand why anyone would do that to her. I know Elsa's still healing inside from before, and now somebody went and physically hurt her. Why?! Without a word, Anna just hugged her sister close. "Elsa, I don't know who did that or why, but please just remember there are people around that care about you. Me, Gerda, Kai, and about 99.9999% of the rest of the Arendelle population. 'Kay?"
"Still looks pretty bad, huh?" Elsa asked ruefully. She pulled herself away from Anna and quickly redid all the buttons. "I think that can j-just stay out of sight…thank you a-anyways, though, Anna."
Anna just stared. "Tell me I didn't see you do a whole bunch of buttons on the back of your own dress that quickly…"
Elsa gave Anna a small smile. "There's some things you have to learn when you c-can't let anyone near you for years a-and years."
"Oh." Anna made a face and didn't say anything more about it. "And about whatever dress you're wearing today, I think you should wear whatever you're most comfortable in, whether it's your ice-dress or the dark blue one you're wearing now. I will say you might unnerve whoever hurt you if you wear your ice-dress. Whoever did it probably expects you to cover up the evidence of what happened."
Anna is probably right. If I act like nothing happened, that will be really confusing to whoever those people are since the last they saw of me was a crying mess on the floor…it's just I doubt I'd be very convincing at pretending not to be affected at all if anyone questions me about what happened. Elsa mulled it over for a long minute; then asked, "Could you maybe…ward off q-questions? I'm all in on y-your idea, but…you know me…"
Anna grinned. Awesome, Elsa likes the idea of unnerving whoever hurt her. She's just concerned she won't be able to follow through with faking I-don't-care-ness. "Sure. I am an expert at rambling, so I'll just start blathering and everyone'll leave you alone. 'Kay?"
"Okay."
Ten minutes later, Elsa, now wearing her ice-dress, strode down the hall with Anna to breakfast.
"Y'know, Elsa, it doesn't really look that bad anyways," Anna commented, glancing at her sister's bare shoulders. "It just looks like…like…" Like someone hurt her on purpose, that's what…
"Like I got s-slammed against a wall," Elsa finished, shaking her head. Thanks for trying to make me feel more confident, Anna, but I'm quite certain it probably looks awful. Oh well.
Anna frowned. "Well…yeah. But it doesn't look that bad. Your ice-dress still covers up some of the owies."
"Owies?" Elsa inexplicably started giggling at that. Anna liked saying that when she was little, too. I'm not going to worry about it. It's not like most people are going to be looking for bruises on me anyway. Maybe no one will notice at all. "You're funny, Anna."
"That's my special talent!"
At breakfast, Elsa kept her eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary or suspicious. I need more clues before I try to come up with a solid plan. And I can't tell Anna anything else. She already knows something is up simply because she knows someone slammed me against a wall. I can't do anything hasty…I don't want to get caught again. Elsa spotted a guard by the entrance to the dining hall; that in of itself was not odd, but what was odd was that he matched the physique of one of the two men from the day before exactly. The taller, larger one. I'm almost positive he's the one that pinned me against the wall. Not a hundred percent sure, but almost. Suddenly struck with a plan to confirm her suspicions, Elsa excused herself from the table, telling Anna she would be right back. "I'm just getting a book f-from the library," she added in a louder voice.
Elsa pretended to trip by the dining hall entrance, figuring whether the guard was loyal or not, he would 'help' her simply to stay in character at the very least. Bingo. That worked. Up close, Elsa was even more certain this was the same man, so she went ahead with the next part of her plan. "Thank you." She paused for a split second; then added, "For the present yesterday." Elsa put one hand to her bruised back and stared him right in the face. If he wasn't the same man, he would look confused, not angry. He knows exactly what I'm talking about. Elsa gave him a pleasant smile, purposely turned her back on him, and went on her way. I've done it. I have identified one of them. Now I just need to find the others, and foil their plan before it goes any further.
If my hunch is correct, that man will now assume I'm going to the library alone and follow me there. Elsa ran as fast as she could go to the library and quickly scribbled down a note. Hurry up, Elsa. This could turn out very badly if your timing isn't exactly right. She left it on top of the piano for the man to find and disappeared into the hidden entrance into the secret passages in the library just in time. I made it! Perfect. Elsa smiled and pressed her ear against the secret entrance, listening for anything the man might say in reaction to her note.
"That little-" Elsa heard a string of words she had no interest in hearing ever again. Then, "Where are you, you brazen little witch?! You're going to pay for that! I know you're hidden in here somewhere! There wasn't enough time for you to escape!"
Elsa wasn't sure whether to collapse on the floor laughing or to be utterly terrified. Probably both. I sure am hidden in here somewhere…there wasn't any time to escape! But I'm safe in here. I know I am. And I'm brazen?! Seriously? I think those usurpers are brazen for trying whatever their plan is right under my nose. And I am not a witch. So there. Although I think he just meant the 'unpleasant woman' meaning anyway. Whatever. The only thing is…he means it when he said I was going to pay for that. And they will do that by hurting Anna somehow. I have to get back to Anna! Immediately. Elsa closed her eyes, picturing the secret passages in her head. Then she hightailed it as fast as she could through the passages, letting herself out behind one of the suits of armor at the bottom of the staircase. She slipped back into the dining hall without incident.
All Elsa's note had said was, 'I am on to you. You will not hurt Anna. You will not take my kingdom. Queen Elsa of Arendelle.'
After breakfast, Elsa told Anna she had something she wanted Anna to do.
"What can I do to help?" Anna asked excitedly.
"You are going to get Kai t-to teach you how to shoot a gun," Elsa said in that deathly calm voice she had sometimes. My sister is going to know how to defend herself. With who knows what going on right in our own home, I think that's important.
Anna looked puzzled. Sweet Elsa, who had spent most of her life terrified of hurting people, wanted her little sister to learn how to fire a gun? There's something dangerous going on that Elsa thinks is connected with me, then. Maybe she thinks whoever hurt her will hurt me, too. "Well, if that's what you want, then that's what I shall do," Anna said. "Besides, it might be fun…I have just one request. I want you to learn with me." Elsa may have built-in defenses, but somehow I think she would be more likely to use a gun to defend herself than her powers.
Elsa just shrank back and crossed her arms around her middle, hugging herself. "I can't," she replied quietly. I don't know what I would do if I hurt someone again. What if I just got scared and my hands shook and I accidentally shot Anna or something instead of the target? I know I should learn though anyways…
Anna quickly hugged Elsa close. "Yes, you can. And I think you should. And-"
Elsa flinched when her sister's hand pressed against some of her bruises, but she didn't pull away. Ow. I wish those would go away. Not only do they look horrible, but they hurt at the slightest touch. They're all right otherwise, though, I think. "Anna, I'm just concerned what happens t-to you," she interrupted.
"Did I hurt you?" Anna asked. Elsa flinched again, and it wasn't because she was scared of being touched this time… "And if you wanna be that way, I care what happens to you!"
"I'm all right," Elsa said firmly. I'm fine. At least it's safe for me to let Anna hug me at all. That makes me happy. "I'd like to maybe try l-later on, but for now, I just want you t-to learn. Okay?"
Anna frowned, but she agreed. I did promise to follow any instructions Elsa gives me to the letter. So I will. And I'm going to ask Gerda if there's something that can be put on Elsa's back and shoulders to make her feel better. Elsa says she's fine, but somehow I don't really believe her.
After lunch, Elsa sent Anna out to the courtyard with Kai to learn how to use a gun; and Elsa headed to the parlor with Gerda to have her 'speech lessons', as Elsa liked to call them now.
"Now before we do anything, let's go upstairs and put something on your bruises, Miss Elsa," Gerda told her.
Elsa made a face. I bet Anna said something about it to Gerda. "I'm fine…"
"Your sister didn't seem to think so, Miss Elsa. Besides, you have a bad track record of saying you're fine when you aren't. I can easily see you have bruises on your shoulders, even if Miss Anna hadn't said anything anyway. Please come upstairs."
Elsa sighed, but she followed Gerda upstairs. Maybe whatever Gerda planned to put on her would make her feel better. It couldn't hurt, anyways. She just didn't want to talk about how it happened. "I don't want to t-talk about it," Elsa said quietly. At all.
"Then you don't have to. Your sister already told me what she knew about it," Gerda replied, knowing Elsa would not discuss anything unless she was ready to. "Run and put on one of your dresses that has buttons up the back, Miss Elsa."
Elsa started to pull the dark blue dress she'd been wearing earlier out of her closet; then paused and said, "I want to keep my ice-dress on." I feel more like…me in it…
"You can put that ice-dress of yours back on in a few minutes, Miss Elsa. Put the dark blue dress you're holding on just long enough so we can take care of those bruises, all right?"
"Oh. Okay." Elsa quickly changed her dress in the bathroom and came back. "Maybe we could just l-leave it alone?" she asked hopefully. Now that she'd thought about this a bit more, she did not want anyone to see all those bruises on her again. Anna had already seen them, and that was quite enough. I think I'm just going to leave this dress on for now…
Gerda frowned. "Miss Elsa, come here and sit. I will not try to make you talk about it. All I'm going to do to put some lotion on the bruises for you."
Elsa hesitated. She trusted Gerda not to start bothering her about explaining what happened and who did it, but hadn't she already said too much by telling Anna what had happened? Now someone else would see all those marks on her, and those men might accuse her of telling on them and they would hurt Anna. "Will you promise not t-to tell anyone else about this?" she asked.
"I won't tell anyone at all unless you say I may," Gerda assured her.
Satisfied with that reply, Elsa quickly froze her door shut and then plopped herself down where Gerda had told her to sit. I wonder how Anna is doing with her shooting lessons…
"Queen Elsa. Who on earth is in this castle that you feel the need to freeze that door shut?!" Gerda asked. "You haven't done that for three years."
"I…it's nothing," Elsa amended quickly. I can't say the real reason for why I did that…I haven't done that since before Mom and Dad died…
"Miss Elsa, I know part of what happened. Your sister told me you told her someone slammed you against a wall. You could have been seriously hurt, a lot worse than these bruises. If someone did this to you once, they will try the same thing again, or worse, because they will think they can get away with it since you didn't do anything to them the last time. Please keep in mind what position you hold here. You are the queen. Being merciful, like you are, is a good trait to have, but it can be taken too far. Don't let anyone take advantage of you, Miss Elsa."
Elsa just sat quietly as Gerda rubbed the soothing lotion on her back and shoulders. I know all those things are true, but Gerda doesn't know why that man did that or that they're threatening to hurt Anna if I tell anyone anything…I have to figure this out on my own… "What if…what if someone is m-making threats that I'm sure would be carried out i-instantly?" she whispered.
Knowing that question was Elsa's subtle way of saying that was exactly what was going on, Gerda thought for a minute before replying, "Perhaps you should consider if this threat can really be carried out. Can you neutralize it somehow? Is it a threat to you, someone else, or an object of some kind? Or is it something intangible, like a reputation?"
Elsa flinched as Gerda touched a particularly tender spot. "It could be c-carried out easily," Elsa mumbled sadly. I don't know how many people, or even just who, are involved. I only have one person's identity known. Other than that, I have no idea. And I can't talk about this, even indirectly, anymore. I've already got a 'payback' coming from what I did earlier, figuring out the one man's identity…
"Miss Elsa, I'm no political expert, but you need to take the threat away from this person, or people, as the case may be. If whoever is doing this threatened to hurt you again for example, make it clear that you will not put up with that. You might be just a slight young girl, but you do have a built-in defense system. Use it," Gerda said firmly. "Whoever hurt you assaulted the queen of Arendelle. That's absolutely ridiculous. While I do not remember every single bit of Arendelle's history, I do know that many past monarchs would have had that person executed for that."
Elsa shuddered. "I c-can't…do…that," she whispered. I nearly killed those two thugs when they attacked me at the ice palace. 'Don't be the monster they fear you are'…don't be the monster they fear you are… Elsa covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking as she tried to hold back tears. Calm down, Elsa! Calm down…I can't…
Gerda quickly did up all the buttons on the back of Elsa's dress, figuring Elsa could always just take it off later if she wanted to. Then she tried to get Elsa to stand up, but Elsa's legs just wouldn't hold her at the moment and she simply slid onto the floor. Gerda knelt next to Elsa and gently pulled her hands away from her face. "Miss Elsa, just listen. Breathe. Deep breaths. You're fine. You are safe at home. Concentrate on your breathing. Nice and slow…That's good, Miss Elsa. Keep going."
Elsa kept her eyes closed, but tears still trickled down her cheeks anyway. That's the past…take a deep breath…hold it in….Not the present…let it out. What would Mom and Dad think if they knew what I almost did? Elsa tried to be logical-she knew deep in her heart that defending herself was not wrong-but her distraught mind wouldn't let her. Just because she had forgiven her parents for everything they had done to her didn't mean it didn't still hurt her inside sometimes. The hurt was far less than it had been before, but it was still there. Nobody could truly replace her parents' missing love and care. It made Elsa feel incomplete inside. Not angry; just sad, like she still wasn't good enough. Elsa, you know you're fine. You have Anna now. And Gerda is like a mother to you. The past is in the past. You can't change that, but you can change the future. You're probably right-Mom and Dad would think bad of you for what happened, but it's not like they were right on much else regarding you. Just let it go and don't worry about it. You aren't mad at them anymore. You forgave them. Absolutely, truly. So now do the next step and stop breaking down and getting upset over the whole thing. Elsa sighed and finally opened her eyes a minute later. "I think I'm all right now," she said shyly. "I'm sorry I completely lost it…again."
"Miss Elsa, you didn't 'completely lose it'. All you did was make snowflakes while you were crying. Look around you now," Gerda said, giving Elsa a reassuring smile.
Elsa just blinked around her in surprise. There wasn't a single snowflake to be seen anywhere. No evidence that Elsa had gotten upset at all. I didn't have a full-blown panic attack freakout thing either! I think Gerda and Anna are helping me catch them before they actually start. A mischievous smile spread across Elsa's face as she glanced down at her dark blue dress. I know what will be completely, utterly confusing to those people. I will just alternate between my ice-dress and a regular one. They'll never know what I'm thinking, whether I'm so upset I can barely function or that I'm the Snow Queen that won't put up with any nonsense.
I'm somewhere in between. Probably closer to the 'so upset I can barely function' side. I think that needs to change…
Elsa scrambled to her feet and said, "May we please start my speech lesson now?"
"If you keep talking like that, Miss Elsa, you won't need any 'speech lessons'," Gerda pointed out.
"I didn't stutter that time! I really didn't!" Elsa said happily. "Or just n-now…okay, maybe not…" Oh, well. At least I said more without stuttering than usual anyhow.
"Shall we try a tongue twister today? Do you think you can do that, Miss Elsa?"
"I can try." Elsa's lopsided smile said she was game to try anything, but that she would probably mess up. And you know what? Today I don't care. My stuttering doesn't mean I can't think properly. I'm not going to worry about it. Besides, all the better if those people think I'm stupid. They'll be careless and probably drop clues right under my nose because they will think I'm so messed up I can't function. I can use that to my advantage…hah, I won't need any acting skills. All those problems I still have are quite enough to make them think I can't take care of things. Elsa stood tall and clasped her hands behind her back, waiting for Gerda to tell her what to do first.
A/N: So Elsa's started to figure things out a little bit.:)
Please let me know what you thought of Elsa's decision to leave that note in the library.;)
Next chapter coming soon!:)
P.S. If anyone wants their suspicions of who the bad guys are confirmed or not confirmed, please say so in a review or PM me.:)