Disclaimer: See chapter 1
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Reid exited the elevator on the sixth floor. As he pushed the glass doors open and entered the bullpen, Morgan saw him and said, "Hey man, you're back. How did it go with your dad?"
"The bypass surgery was successful and he did well in the postoperative phase so he's being transferred back to the infirmary at Leavenworth where he'll stay until he's completely recovered and then the doctor's ordered that he be given only light duty so no more textile factory for him."
"That's good but did you talk?"
"He talked mostly, saying he'd been a lousy father but he couldn't change the past. He wants me to let him prove he can be a good grandfather to Joanna. That's the agreement we came to anyway." He shrugged as he sat at his desk.
Morgan leaned forward in his chair resting his muscular forearms on his thighs, his hands clasped together. When he spoke it was much more quietly. "Reid man, your dad, he's living in a dangerous place. His life could be snuffed out like that," the profiler snapped his fingers. "I think this heart attack was a warning and I don't mean that he has clogged arteries. It was a warning that life is short. You can't deny that your father exists just because you don't want to deal with the issues between you. It's never going to be over for you or your dad until one of you is in the grave and take it from someone who knows, that's not the way you want it to be over."
"It's not that easy to just forgive and trust Morgan."
"Hey, I never said it was easy. Look at me, Hotch told me point blank in New York that I don't trust anyone. That's why I'm always doing these crazy things. He's right, because you have to give something of yourself when you trust. That makes you vulnerable and Derek Morgan doesn't ever want to appear vulnerable. But you, you know all about hard. You've never taken the easy way. It takes a big man to forgive and you're one of the biggest men I know." He grabbed his coffee cup and stood up. "I think I need a refill."
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Allie had Joanna dressed in a pair of mauve pants and a mauve tee shirt with white bunnies on it. She covered that with a little mauve hoodie so she could put the hood up if it was too sunny and also protect her from the cool breeze that often came up in September. "You'll be four months old tomorrow," Allie told her daughter as she buckled her into her carrier.
Allie, dressed in a pair of black Chinos combined with a grey tank and a black blazer, slung the diaper bag over her shoulder and picked up her purse. "Now my little sweetheart, it's time for you to learn one of the things that embodies your place as a female in our society. Are you ready to go shopping?" She picked up the baby carrier and headed out to her car. After strapping Joanna in the back seat and getting in the driver's seat, they were off. Allie didn't notice the blue Firefly that followed her red Nissan Altima.
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Reid sat at his desk, pen in hand. Morgan, Emily and JJ had gone to a nearby eatery for lunch but Reid had chosen to stay behind telling them he had things to catch up on that had accumulated over his four day absence. He pointed to his overflowing IN box as an example. He'd grabbed a sandwich and a chocolate bar from the vending machines which he munched on while he stared at the blank piece of paper in front of him. What he wrote would change lives. He had to think of the right thing to say. I guess you just start at the beginning he told himself as he put the pen to the paper.
Dear Dad,
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Allie and Joanna wound their way up and down the aisles of the grocery store. Allie talked to her little girl as she pulled out a box of cereal, "Cinnamon Toast Crunch, we need to get this," she said, "it's Daddy's favorite." Joanna clapped her tiny hands together when Allie said the word "daddy." She moved down another aisle, "Oh, we need some of this," she said as she consulted her list and put a box of rice into the cart. She paid no mind to the shoppers around her so she failed to notice the blonde woman some distance behind her who picked things off the shelf and looked at them but put nothing in her cart.
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I've been thinking a lot about the talk we had while you were in the hospital. I suffered greatly because of your desertion and had to deal with things as a child that many adults would find daunting. The lack of guidance still affects me today. As advanced as I am intellectually, I am still very inept socially. It's a hard thing to learn as an adult. Thank God I have Allie. She gets me through those awkward situations and my team has just come to accept it as a facet of my personality.
All my life I have sworn that I would never forgive you for leaving us and what I endured because of it. My decision had remained resolute. Jason Gideon, my mentor and a father figure to me for four years at the bureau, is having estrangement issues with his own son and I recently wrote him and told him I hoped his son had forgiven him.
I have, in the past, done things that have hurt the members of my team who are friends, really more like family, to me. Each one has forgiven me and our bonds have become stronger so I know the immense release one feels when that happens.
Lately, I've found I think of most things in life in terms of Joanna. I remember the guidance that I missed as a child so I know better where I need to guide my own child. I hope I never do anything to hurt her badly enough that she would be estranged from me but if I did, I would pray that she would find it in her heart to forgive me.
My friend Morgan told me today that when you trust, you give a part of yourself. You will have to earn that part of me. The one thing I am willing to give you today is my forgiveness. Dad, I know deep down I've always loved you. I forgive you.
Spencer
He folded the letter, put it in an envelope and addressed it to Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary. He placed it in his OUT box, sighed with relief and began to look at his mail.
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Allie pulled into the driveway and got out of the vehicle. She opened the back door, leaning over to undo the belt that held Joanna's carrier in place. She'd just take Joanna in and then come back out and lug in the groceries. Then she'd have to put them all away. Grocery shopping, unlike other shopping, Allie found, was a chore. She was about to lift Joanna's carrier out when she felt the car's back door being shoved against her. The metal cut into her legs throwing her off balance. As quickly as the door closed, it opened again and a woman Allie got only a slight glimpse of out of the corner of her eye, swung at her with something metal. Allie's breath was knocked out of her. She stumbled away from the car as the woman swung again. She had to get this woman away from her baby, Allie thought as she put her arms up to defend herself as the woman swung again and the object she now saw was a tire iron hit her on the left forearm. Allie felt the bone crack as she screamed out in pain. The woman swung again before Allie could recover and got her in the legs sending her sprawling to the ground. Allie screamed for help as the woman swung again this time hitting Allie on the head. Blood spurted from the gash and Allie screamed no more. Sharon Webb ran to the Altima, grabbed the baby carrier, hurried to the Firefly and drove away.