A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)
Thanks to CieloFede for beta-ing!:)
BellaCullen931-Elsa IS more confident now.:) I'm glad you liked it!
johnpatgillespie-Thank you! 'Kay, I'll go check it out.:)
Guest-I don't give that info out online.:)
WarriorQueen 14-I see Elsa as being good with children if she's given the chance. Besides, part of Elsa is still a little girl. She knows how little kids think, even if she doesn't really realize it.:) I thought Daisy was as much good for Elsa as Elsa is for Daisy.:)
Protoestrella1-Yep, more self-confidence for Elsa!:) I agree; it's definitely good for Elsa to hear what her 'general public' thinks of her. I think Elsa needed to see a little girl like Daisy...I mean, Elsa has trouble seeing herself as others see her, so someone that reminds her of her own little self is good for her.:)
Fatten Saad-Yes she did! Yay for Elsa!:) No, no, no, NO true love for Elsa. *shudders* But I like to think Elsa might adopt a child eventually. I really really don't like pairing Elsa up with anyone, but I can totally see her adopting a child and loving him/her. Elsa would be a great mother, most likely.:) Thank you!:)
Dragonheart35-Lol, I thought I was terrible at feels!:P But thank you.:) I always go back and reread it, and then edit stuff because I think it sounds corny or blah. I don't like letting everyone around me know how I'm feeling in real life anyways (except I think some people figure out how I feel anyway...), so...:/ So sometimes I'm kinda like, 'Well, I think this is in in character for so-and-so, so I think this should stay' or something.:)
On to the story!:)
After a quick talk with the teacher, Elsa made a short announcement to the schoolchildren. "One of you wanted me to make s-snow for a snowball fight. You are all invited to the castle courtyard t-tomorrow morning, as it will be S-Saturday," Elsa announced. "But ask your parents for permission first, please. They are welcome t-to come as well if they like. Thank you for listening." There. I did it. I did stutter, but not too badly.
"Thank you, Queen Elsa!" "Will you freeze my sister? She takes my toys!" "Are you gonna come visit again?" "Can I touch your dress?" "Is it really made of ice?"
The chorus of voices and incessant questions made Elsa feel jumpy. She held up a hand, and the children quieted almost instantly. "Your teacher has given me only a c-certain amount of time to answer your questions. One at a t-time, please," Elsa said, smiling. "Each of you may ask one question."
"Are you going to come to school again? You're way more fun than Miss Pickle-Face," a freckle-faced little boy said.
Anna stifled a giggle, and Elsa sent her a big sister look that said Stop that or I'll take your chocolate. "I don't think your teacher l-likes to be called…that," Elsa said, refusing to repeat the 'Miss Pickle-Face' nickname herself. "I'm sure that could be arranged, but I d-don't want to disrupt your usual lessons. And yes, I am quite sure you wouldn't care," she added when the little boy scowled and opened his mouth to say something else.
"Will you freeze my sister?" the next child asked. "She always gets in my toys!"
Elsa's lightly freckled face went pale, too pale even for her. Get it together, Elsa. That child doesn't mean anything by saying that. She felt ice forming on her palms and glanced down, her blue eyes betraying her fearful emotions threatening to overwhelm her any moment. The memory of hugging frozen Anna on the fjord less than a month ago replayed in her mind, and Elsa realized Anna was kneeling next to her on the floor right there at the front of the schoolroom. I lost control in public. I lost control in public! What have I done?!
Anna had no idea what she should do; if they'd been at home, she would have simply held her sister on her lap and comforted her until she felt better. But here in public, Anna was sure Elsa would not want to be held. So Anna just kept one arm wrapped around her sister and waited for Elsa to calm down. Well, Elsa didn't have a full out panic attack…she just flashbacked to something, I think.
Elsa suddenly was aware of someone else next to her, and she looked up to see little Daisy standing beside her. "You d-don't gotta b-be embarrassed. W-we all l-like y-you anyways, Queen E-Elsa," the little girl stammered out.
"Please excuse Daisy, Queen Elsa," the teacher said. "Daisy, we do not meddle with the queen's personal affairs. Queen Elsa was nice enough to pay us a visit. Do behave." She turned back to Elsa to add, "Is there something I can help you with, Queen Elsa?"
Elsa frowned as she slowly stood up. "No thank you, Miss Petersen; and Daisy did nothing wrong. Don't scold her for s-simply trying to be nice to me," she said firmly. Elsa turned to the little girl and bent down to Daisy's height. "It's all right, Daisy. Thank you for being k-kind to me," Elsa said quietly.
Daisy practically jumped into the older girl's arms, much to the teacher's chagrin. Elsa winced at the pressure on her injured shoulder and quickly moved Daisy's hand away from it, but she didn't push the child away. Daisy didn't think anything bad of me because I messed up a little bit. The other kids didn't start talking and not paying attention, either…
"I…love…you…Queen…Elsa," Daisy said slowly but clearly.
Elsa bit her lip hard to keep happy tears from running down her cheeks. I can't remember the last time anyone except Anna told me that. I'm sure Gerda would have, but she probably always felt it wasn't her place to say something like that. But Daisy doesn't realize those stupid social lines everyone thinks no one is supposed to cross… Elsa had no idea what to say, but she hugged Daisy back. She still felt inept at socializing, and somehow she felt that saying the wrong thing to this little girl would be worse than saying the wrong thing to some adult from another country. Then Elsa realized something else-Daisy hadn't stuttered when she had said those five words to Elsa. "You can too talk without stuttering," she whispered in the little girl's ear. "Go on back and s-sit down now, Daisy. You can't know how much what you said m-means to me."
Daisy beamed as she ran back to her seat. She had gotten a hug from Queen Elsa. None of the other kids had gotten a hug. Just her. And she had gotten to make Queen Elsa happy, too.
When Elsa and Anna left the school and headed to the orphanage, Elsa felt much more confident and her heart was light. She had even messed up in public, and no one, not even the teacher, had thought bad of her for it. Miss Petersen had simply asked her if she wanted help with anything. "Anna, that wasn't nearly as…scary as I was afraid it w-would be," Elsa said happily. I think I'm a pessimist, and Anna is an optimist. And neither is exactly good. We need a happy medium.
"I told you you'd be fine!" Anna exclaimed. "Also you were so good with Daisy. You made that little girl so happy, Elsa."
"She reminded me of myself," Elsa said so quietly Anna could hardly hear her. I wonder if Gerda would be willing to help Daisy with her speech like she has been doing for me…I'm still not perfect at speaking properly, but I'm far better than I was before.
The second the two girls reached the orphanage and dismounted their horses, Anna gave her sister's hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm sure Daisy will probably be lots happier after today, sis. You gave her something important without even trying to."
"But I didn't really do anything," Elsa countered. "I made a fool of myself having a flashback like that…I know no one minded, but I m-mind!"
"Elsa, you stopped bullying. You gave Daisy a hug. You made her feel valuable and important. Not only are you an older girl a seven-year-old would look up to anyway, you're the queen. How would you feel if you were seven and the queen gave you a hug?" Anna asked.
Elsa gazed off into the distance in the direction of the North Mountain. I'd feel important and…loved. I'd think that queen was perfect and someone I'd want to be my friend, too.
Would you still think that if that queen had ice powers, Elsa? You're not perfect. You're just a freak. A useless, defective freak.
Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up. That isn't true. Of course I'm not perfect. No one is perfect. I am not a useless, defective freak. I saved Arendelle all on my own with that hurricane issue. I'm fine. I'm my own normal.
What would I think of Queen Elsa of Arendelle if I were an average citizen in my country? I don't even know… Elsa smiled and then scowled as she actually thought about it. I'd see a slender young girl with big blue eyes, too-light skin, and strange platinum hair. I'd think Queen Elsa's otherworldly powers were weird, but be grateful that she stopped the hurricane with them. I'd probably rather talk with Princess Anna because the queen is awkward when she tries to speak with anyone. I'd want to ask her how she controls her bizarre abilities. I might think Queen Elsa is a bit of a pitiful creature if I saw her lose control like I did at the school…and I'd hope she has someone older to help her take care of things. I don't think I'd really think bad of her, but I'd want to get to know her better before really deciding anything…
"Earth to Elsa!" Anna said for the third time, waving her hand in her sister's face. Elsa didn't really seem upset, but she was completely zoned out and absorbed in her thoughts.
"Yes, Anna?" Elsa snapped to attention.
"What were you thinking about?" Anna asked as the two of them knocked on the main door to the orphanage.
"What I might think of…well, me, if I were a random Arendelle c-citizen," Elsa explained, looking back at her sister shyly. That sounds stupid. Why was I doing that anyway?! Elsa winced as she used her left hand to knock on the door again. Just that small movement made her shoulder hurt.
Anna frowned as she watched her sister gingerly support her arm with her other hand. "Elsa, your shoulder is bothering you," she said simply. "You should have brought that sling with you."
"I'm fine," Elsa said a bit too quickly just as the door finally opened.
"It's the queen and the princess!" the man who'd opened the door called to someone behind him.
"They were knocking?" a second voice asked.
Elsa smiled a bit and nodded. "Yes, sir," she replied, knowing that man was at least twenty or thirty years older than she was. "I should like to s-speak with whomever is in charge, please. I have a bit of business t-to discuss that involves a large donation," Elsa explained. Slow down, Elsa. Pauses sound better than the actual stuttering. You know that.
"That would be me, Mr. Everstad, your majesty," the woman said. "Do come in. You can call me Aldrik."
Elsa slowly walked inside with Anna at her side. Everything seemed perfectly neat, if a bit sparse, but it was so quiet! Elsa found it hard to believe a bunch of children lived here. "Mr. Everstad, where are all the children?" Elsa asked. She gave a girl that walked by with a mop and dustpan a friendly smile, and the girl's eyes lit up for a split second before she disappeared down a hall rather abruptly. What was that all about?!
Elsa tilted her head to one side in puzzlement as she watched an entire line of children march up the stairs in silence. One boy whispered something to another, and then Elsa heard a voice telling them to be quiet or else. Elsa glared at Mr. Everstad. "What is the meaning of this?!" she demanded. "The kids are punished f-for talking?!"
Mr. Everstad looked at her apologetically. "My wife believes it will help the children learn to behave. I do not agree with it. It's only inside, though. They are allowed to be as noisy as they like outside in the backyard." He noticed Elsa awkwardly holding her arm, and added, "Queen Elsa, if you're hurt, I can summon someone to help you."
"I just wrenched my shoulder a few days ago, and it's still sore. I'm fine, thank you," Elsa replied. I don't want a stranger taking care of me anyway. No way. "I should like to see the backyard, if you please," she added.
"Certainly."
The second Elsa stepped outside, she had a sick feeling in her stomach. Not because of Mr. Everstad; she was a hundred percent sure he meant well. It was because there were about twenty kids in the backyard of varying ages, and Elsa knew none of them had parents. Just like me, she couldn't help thinking. Except I was eighteen. Some of these children can't be any older than four or five. Elsa couldn't decide if it was worse to lose your parents when you were tiny and not remember them very well, or lose them when you were older like she and Anna had been and have too many painful memories.
Anna watched as her sister's large blue eyes took in everything around her and finally zeroed in on a little girl with brown curls sitting alone against the far corner of the fence holding a small doll as she just stared straight in front of her. Elsa's going to go talk to that little girl, I bet. I know she will.
Sure enough, Elsa headed straight for the little girl, ignoring all the curious eyes staring at her. Elsa knelt next to the little girl and smiled at her, but the child didn't respond. She must be around five…maybe six? I'm not sure. "What is your doll's name?" Elsa asked softly. She moved a bit closer to the child and gently touched her shoulder.
The little girl jerked back at Elsa's touch and made a face that clearly said Don't touch me, although she didn't look at Elsa and she didn't say anything.
Elsa instantly clasped her hands together close against her chest, afraid that she had hurt the child somehow. But I didn't lose control…I haven't made any ice or snow at all. "I'm sorry. I won't touch you unless you say I can," Elsa said quietly.
"My sister doesn't talk, so don't make her," Elsa heard a boy's voice say. Elsa looked up to see a boy that she guessed was about ten.
"I'm Timothy, and that's Anikka. She hasn't said anything since our parents died a year ago," the boy went on. "Anikka, show her how old you are," Timothy told his sister.
Anikka held up five fingers, still clutching her doll with her other hand. She seemed to suddenly notice Elsa's sparkling blue dress and reached out to touch it. Then she jerked her hand back without actually touching the ice-fabric.
Elsa gave the little girl a reassuring smile. "It's okay, Anikka. You can touch it. I won't bite. Or freeze you," she told the child. Elsa held out one hand to Anikka, silently asking if it was all right to touch her. What do I say to her? She must be really upset if she hasn't spoken for a year. I wish I could help.
Anikka said nothing and her expression didn't change, but she grabbed Elsa's outstretched hand and tried to yank the older girl closer to her.
"Quit that, Anikka. You're yanking on the queen's hand," Timothy scolded. "Queen Elsa, please don't get mad at her. She doesn't know any better."
Elsa smiled and moved closer to Anikka. "Timothy, it is perfectly fine. I don't mind." She watched as Timothy ran off to play ball with some of the other kids. He loves his little sister, and he's trusting me with her. I can't mess up. And Anikka is hurting inside. That's why she won't talk. "Anikka, is it all right to give you a hug?" Elsa asked.
Anikka stared at her, appearing not to respond at all; but Elsa caught a slight change in the little girl's eyes. She looks like she's hoping I will, but that she's not actually believing it. Elsa gently pulled Anikka close, making sure not to put any pressure on her sore shoulder. "Your brother loves you very much, I can tell," Elsa said softly.
The little girl snuggled closer to Elsa as tears ran down her cheeks. She stuck out one small hand and touched Elsa's face and then her thick platinum braid. Elsa just watched and stayed stock still, her blue eyes wide, unsure what to do, as Anikka slowly mouthed something…she wasn't sure what. And then Elsa knew. Mama. That's what Anikka is trying to say. To me?! Why would I remind her of her mother? Elsa hugged Anikka tightly, ignoring the pain in her shoulder. "It'll be okay, Anikka. Maybe not right now, but…but it will be," she said quietly, her own eyes starting to well up now.
"Never be…okay! Anikka miss Mommy!" Anikka wailed.
Elsa was shocked. She had gotten the little girl to talk…not pleasantly, to be sure, but Anikka had spoken clear as day. And everyone had heard it, including Mr. Everstad and Anna by the door leading back inside. Elsa knew everyone's eyes were on her now, but she didn't move. "You're supposed to miss your mommy," she told the child. "That's okay. But you…you can't not live properly. Do y-you know what an orphan is?"
Anikka nodded and pointed to herself and then the rest of the children outside. "No mommy. No daddy."
"Well, I'm an orphan t-too," Elsa said softly so only Anikka could hear her. "It still hurts, but we have to k-keep them close here and here," she added pointing at Anikka's head and then her heart. If Anikka's parents actually…loved and took care of her, it's actually probably worse for her than for me. I don't think my parents loved me very much…especially Dad. "Does that make sense?" At least make sense a little bit?
Anikka nodded but clung to Elsa, her brown eyes locked on Elsa's blue ones. She wanted this girl to stay here with her. Somehow her five-year-old brain knew Elsa was way too young to be her mother, but Elsa reminded her of her mother so much she could hardly stand it. And it certainly wasn't because Elsa looked like her; Elsa looked about as different from Anikka's mother as she could be. Anikka pointed at herself, hugged herself, and then pointed at Elsa. I love you, Elsa.
Elsa immediately knew what Anikka's signing meant. I love you too, Anikka. And that's the truth. "I love you too," she replied simply. Elsa loved all those children, actually. Every single one. She wished there was something she could do as queen that would give them all their parents back.
"Anikka," Anikka said, pointing to herself. "Elsa," she said, pointing at Elsa.
Elsa didn't correct the little girl for referring to her sans official title. "That's right. My name is Elsa, and your name is Anikka," Elsa said, smiling. Anikka is actually talking to me. Not much, but a little!
Anikka scrambled off Elsa's lap when Elsa flinched at Anikka's gentle touch on her sore shoulder. "Hurt," she said, pointing at Elsa's shoulder. Anikka kissed Elsa's shoulder as gently as a five-year-old could and added happily, "All better!"
Quite honestly the little girl was just making Elsa's shoulder hurt worse, but Elsa wasn't about to let Anikka know that. I didn't tell Anikka I hurt my shoulder. She figured it out on her own…and did she really just give me a feel-better kiss? I can't remember the last time someone did that for me, even when I was little before the accident. Anna yes, but not me… "Thank you, Anikka," Elsa said finally.
Anikka acted out giving her doll a piggyback ride and then looked hopefully at Elsa.
Elsa bit her lip and looked across the backyard to Anna for help. My shoulder is not going to tolerate me giving Anikka a piggyback ride. I know it won't…
Anna came running over to Elsa, and Anikka hid behind Elsa. "What d'you want me for, sis?" Anna asked.
"Anikka wants a piggyback ride," Elsa said, hoping Anna would get the point.
Anikka began scowling as Elsa slowly got to her feet. She acted out the piggyback ride again and pointed at Elsa, giving Anna and everyone else outside an expression that said in no unclear terms that she wanted her piggyback ride from Elsa, not anyone else.
Elsa figured the only way out was to leave right this second. That way she wouldn't hurt the little girl's feelings; she could always come back another day. "Anikka, I have to go now. Another day, maybe?" Anikka, please don't get upset. Please.
Anikka's face fell, but then she hugged Elsa tightly. "Elsa Anikka's friend," she stated. Then she abruptly let go; went and sat against the fence again where she'd been when Elsa and Anna had arrived; and then waved at Elsa, giving her a smile before retreating into her own little world again.
Elsa just stood still as happy tears ran down her own cheeks. "She called m-me her friend," she whispered. Elsa had never had someone call her their friend in her life, unless it was Anna. Even before the accident, little Elsa hadn't really had any friends except for Anna. The other royal children she had met as a little girl hadn't been very nice to her. She remembered one boy a couple years older than herself had incessantly teased her, saying she wasn't a real princess because she looked weird, and that girls weren't supposed to be rulers and where was Elsa's brother so he could hang out with him instead. Elsa had finally completely lost it and gotten in a fight during which she accidentally iced the floor. The boy realized Elsa had done it and forced her to blame herself for the fight when the adults asked about it in lieu of him not ratting on her about the ice. (Elsa managed to convince the boy that she wasn't the source of the ice, but she knew her parents wouldn't buy any such thing.)
Anna hugged Elsa close and then steered her sister back inside. "Elsa, you were really nice to that little girl. Of course she says you're her friend," she said firmly. And I'm asking Mr. Everstad if he has a sling anywhere for Elsa. I can tell her shoulder is really hurting her, and she won't admit it.
Elsa quickly wiped her tears as she and Anna approached Mr. Everstad, and he promptly said, "Queen Elsa, I don't know what you did, but you must have a way with children. None of us have been able to get Anikka to speak at all, and I saw her talking to you outside."
Elsa smiled a bit and shrugged her good shoulder. "Thank you, sir, but I didn't r-really do anything. Anikka did it herself," she replied. And she made me happy, too…
"Mr. Everstad, do you maybe have a sling somewhere that my sister could use?" Anna asked quickly before Elsa could protest. "'Cause I can tell Elsa's shoulder is hurting her."
Elsa sighed and sent Anna a pointed glare, but said nothing as she followed Mr. Everstad and Anna down a hall.
"Our little nurse's office is in here," Mr. Everstad explained. "I'm sure my wife can help you."
Elsa bit her lip. From what she had heard, she didn't want to be anywhere near the man's wife. She was the one that wouldn't let the children talk indoors. Maybe that sort of thing was part of the reason why Anikka refused to speak. Be nice, Elsa. Maybe you're jumping to conclusions.
"Abegail, give Queen Elsa a sling for her left arm. She has an injured shoulder that has been bothering her," Mr. Everstad told his wife.
Abegail Everstad, an older woman with a pinched (sour, in Elsa's private opinion) expression, just opened and closed a few drawers, handed Elsa what she needed, and bustled out of the room with a simple, "I believe this will do, your majesty."
"What a sourpuss," Anna whispered in her sister's ear, and Elsa had to bite her lip hard to keep from giggling.
"I do apologize, Queen Elsa," Mr. Everstad said, shaking his head.
Elsa smiled and nodded. "Perfectly fine. This does help," she admitted, gesturing at her arm with her free hand. Elsa's shoulder had been paining her more than she wanted to admit; having the sling supporting her arm gave her shoulder almost instant relief. I hope it heals soon though, because it's really annoying…at least it's not my right one that got hurt anyways.
"I'm gonna take Elsa home now," Anna announced. "Thanks, Mr. Everstad."
Elsa took a deep breath, resisting the urge to say something not very nice to her sister. Anna makes me sound like a baby that has to be taken care of all the time! That doesn't leave a good impression. "Thank you for the t-time with little Anikka," she replied.
Mr. Everstad looked at her as if she had two heads. "No, my queen, I thank you for spending time with her. You didn't have to do that."
"No, I didn't have to. I wanted to," Elsa said quietly.
"Also thank you for that large donation!"
A/N: I'll be wrapping this story up in the next couple chapters.:)
Next chapter coming soon!