CHAPTER 10
Hey everypony. I was meaning to get this up earlier, but something was wrong with the site that prevented me from doing so. It took me longer than usual to get this one typed out as well, seeing that it's over twice as long as most of the chapters in this story have been so far. But here it is finally, chapter ten, all for your reading pleasure. Enjoy, loyal readers, and please don't forget to drop me a review.
"You're making a big mistake here, just to let you know..." I groused as my sister and I were herded into the stone cell.
"Sorry sir, we're under orders." One of the guards stated. Two guards approached, and unfastened my saber belt, while another guard, a female, patted down Budder. She found the small dagger my sister had hidden under her dress, and divested her of the weapon.
"Hey!" Budder protested.
"S'alright...you'll get it back." I said to my sister. "When they let us go." The guards left the cell and shut the door of iron bars with a loud clang. "Hey! I need to speak with Princess Celestia." I called. "One of you tell the princess that..."
"Sorry sir," One of the guards interrupted. "We're under orders."
"Under orders..." I muttered under my breath as the guards marched away, down the hall. "Join the cavalry, boys! There's fewer asinine orders!" I called after them. I let out a loud sigh and dropped down onto the small bed/bench attached to the cell wall. Budder sat down on the stone floor, and leaned back against the iron bars.
"What's gonna happen?" She asked. "Drake?"
"Ugh...any minute now, all Hell's gonna break loose up there." I said. "Then...well, one of two things is gonna happen...one, the forest will attack, and Shining Armor will realize he was being an idiot and release us. Then, we'll do some combat landscaping. Maybe win...probably die...ugh..."
"What about...two?" My sister asked sadly.
"Two? The trees invade, and there's a huge battle. Maybe the combined forces up there can beat the trees...cause...you know...they're still just trees, or maybe the forest of the damned will come destroy Canterlot, the Gala, and this prison with us in it, and we all lose." I explained defeatedly. My sister whined forlornly. "Personally, angel...I don't like our odds. I'd just prefer not to be locked in a damned jail cell when those giant piles of firewood invade." My mind mulled over what I'd just said a few moments. Walking trees...firewood...that's how to beat them. I wondered how long it would take the guards to figure that one out. Then, another question popped into my head, one I'd been meaning to ask.
"So sis..." I began. "I'm assuming that unicorn I saw in the woods is the one who did the spell or whatever to...wake up the trees?"
"The tan unicorn? The one with the ketchup and mustard mane?" Budder asked. I nodded. "Yeah, she's the one that trapped me in the mud and made the trees all evil and crap."
"Mm." I mused, now wondering who the strange unicorn was. Fortunately, my sister had that one covered.
"She said she'd been Celestia's student once, and that she was getting paid to do all this. She was also going on about getting revenge on Princess Celesta, and on Dashie's friend Twilight."
"She said that?" I asked, now feeling concerned for Dashie, and for Ponyville.
"Yeah, when she wasn't being all bratty." Budder replied.
"Damnit...I wish Dashie was here..." I said forlornly, sounding almost like a pouting foal.
"Awww...me too. Budder said sadly. She stood and moved across the cell to the bed, where she sat beside me. I heard her whimper, and looked to see tears in her eyes.
"What?" I implored. "What's wrong?"
"You're hurt." She whined. My little sister bunched up part of her dress and used it to dab gently at my right cheek. When the material touched my wound, I hissed in pain, and Budder recoiled a moment and whimpered again.
"It's okay." I whispered. She dabbed at the scratches on my face a few more times, then kissed my cheek. "Thanks." I said with a small smile. I couldn't help but smile, despite my situation.
"For what?" Budder questioned.
"Heh...for always taking care of me." I shrugged. My sister hugged me.
"Somepony has to." She replied.
"Heheh." I chuckled lightly. "I love you, sis." I said.
"I love you too, bubby." She said gently. There was a thunderous boom from above us, then we felt the earth shake. From the Gala, we could hear the distant screams of panicked partiers, and more thuds that shook our cell. Budder hugged me tightly.
"Welp...it's started..." I sighed. "Ugh...this assignment's been a disaster."A loud boom shook our prison, and I could only assume that one of the trees had fallen over or had been knocked out of commission. It sounded like a full-on battle was raging above at the Gala, and here we were, unable to do anything but sit and wait.
We heard and felt a couple more concussions, and the door at the end of the hall sounded like it had been violently torn off of its hinges. The battle was getting closer. I hugged my little sister close, wondering what was going to be coming down the hall. What we saw next made us both do a double-take. A young sapling, maybe four or five feet tall was moving at a comical, fast hobbling gait past our cell, running as fast as its small roots could carry it, all the while making a high-pitched chittering sound. Suddenly, a burst of energy shot past the bars of our prison cell, and the sapling was burned to charcoal. It fell to the floor a black, smoldering twig.
"Drake!" A familiar voice called.
"Here!" I called back. "We're in here!" Seconds later, Shining Armor was standing on the other side of the bars.
"Stand clear, you two." He stated, charging his horn. A small blast of energy destroyed the lock, and Shining threw open the cell door. "Come on, I need your help." He said. "And I don't want to hear it, Drake."
"Hear what?" I asked, playing dumb. He rolled his eyes.
"Ugh...that I overreacted..." He replied in a low tone.
"Hum..." I voiced, siting down in the middle of the small cell's floor. He growled.
"Okay...that I was a bit foalish and maybe I was a little too hard on you."
"Oh." I simply stated with indifference, pretending to examine my right hoof for imperfections. Shining Armor sighed, and tossed my saber belt and my sister's dagger into the cell.
"Fine. You were right and I was wrong. And...I was being an intolerable jackass, and I'm sorry, okay?"
"Good enough for me." I shrugged, putting on my beloved saber as my sister slid her dagger back into place. "Alright, we're with you. Let's go."
The three of us quickly made our way down the hall, ready to do battle against Sunset Shimmer's army of walking trees. We passed by the door to the armory, and I stopped. Shining Armor gave me a puzzled look as I dashed into the room of weapons. I quickly returned, laden with new instruments of destruction.
"Drake, what in Equestria..." Shining began. I cut him off by tossing him a great broad axe. I handed my sister another, smaller axe and a quiver of arrows. Over my shoulder, I slung another quiver full of arrows and in my right hoof was a longbow I had requisitioned from the room. I took off toward the stairs with my sister and the Captain of the Guard close behind. We galloped up the stairs, and down the short hall toward the exit, and burst out into the open, and into the middle of what, in my opinion, was the strangest battle in history.
Trees, like the ones that had attacked my sister and I, were stomping around the courtyard, swatting at partygoers and soldiers, or battering their limbs and trunks into the stone buildings. Eve more bizarre were the smaller trees, bushes and saplings running around clumsily, chasing wealthy ponies, being chased by guards, or being burnt to embers by unicorn soldiers. A small bush dove onto a well-dressed mare, who promptly fainted, fell backwards, and turned over the dessert table. A small daisy ran up to us on its tiny roots, and I brought a hoof down onto the flower, crushing it. Wonderbolts flew in dynamic formations around the larger trees, who swatted at them like flies. In a word...chaos.
"Well Drake?" Shining Armor sighed. "Plan?" I flashed him a grin
"Heh. While you were learning how to properly serve tea, I was in the wilderness cuttin' firewood.." I said.
"Whatever, Drake..." He groaned. "What are we going to do?"
"Like I said...we're gonna cut firewood. Trust me." I said enthusiastically. I charged into the thick of battle with Budder close behind. "Shining! Have at 'em!" I called back. Shining Armor growled and dove onto the bush that had attacked the mare earlier, hacking away with his axe.
A three-meter tall poplar tree ran at Budder. It took a swing at my sister, but she dodged the branches, and swung her axe. The branchy arm of the tree snapped off and fell to the ground. She then swung the axe again, and the tree fell to the ground. Pulling her weapon from the tree, she walked to just under its face-holes, and brought the axe down again and again until she had cut through the trunk.
"Whoo!" She exclaimed proudly. "Uh-huh! I'm the B to the U to the D-D-E-R, ain't no other pony cut you down like Budder!"
"SIS!" I called. "Now's not the time to use that!" She grinned sheepishly, and we ran through the melee, past a dumbfounded waiter, and dove behind a table just as a dogwood threw a chair at us. Panting, I took stock of our surroundings. On the table above us were a dozen metal canisters stacked into a pyramid. Eyeing them with a sudden hopeful idea, I grabbed one of the cans and held it up.
"Hey!" I called to the frightened waiter, the same one who had supplied me with the teapot during the assassination attempt, "What's in these cans, Jeeves?"
"Um...oh...jelled fuel...for the soup warmers." He answered. I grinned.
"Good. Oh, pan that palm." I said.
"Pardon?" He replied. He looked back to see a small palm tree hobbling toward him. "Oh!" He gasped. He swung the serving tray he was holding, and knocked the palm flat, removing most of its leaves with the blow.
"Sis, grab those napkins." I ordered. Budder nodded and reached onto the table, grabbing a stack of cloth napkins, either ivory or antique white in color, and sat them down next to me. "And a spoon." I added, popping open the first can of jelled cooking fuel. This just might work. "Here angel," I said, handing the open containers to her. "Spoon some of this into each napkin, wrap it up and give it to me, quay?" She soon had the first bundle finished and handed it over to me. I promptly plunged an arrow through it. "Not gonna be too accurate, but those things are big as a house. It should work." I muttered. "Alright, make me some more, okay?"
"Kay." Budder replied, already finished with the second bundle of flammable goo. I nocked the arrow on the bowstring, took a deep breath and stood. A large maple was fifteen yards away, trying to wrench a pillar from the promenade floor. I stuck the bundle to a lit candle on the table, and it immediately ignited. I drew back the bow, took aim, and fired. The firebomb arrow struck the tree, the flaming fuel splattering on it's bark hide. I pulled another arrow, and speared a bundle of the fuel Budder had placed on the ground near me, lit it, nocked it, and let it fly.
With two gobs of burning liquid on its trunk, the tree began to catch fire. It groaned, and began to swat and bat at the air as the flames consumed it. I grinned at my work, waiting for the monster to collapse in a pile of kindling. Suddenly, the tree monster turned and spotted me. It stopped waving its branches, and the two eye-holes in its rough trunk narrowed balefully. The tree let out a trumpeting sound.
"Oh...shit..." I croaked. I quickly speared another firebomb, lit the bundle, and fired it from the bow, just as the tree began to stomp toward us. My arrow struck the tree in the middle of the depressions that formed its face. The rampaging maple stopped as its face was covered in fire. It groaned and pitched forward, falling to the ground in flames. Unfortunately, as it fell, it also knocked over the table, the candle rolling across the cobblestone floor before finally going out.
"How many bundles we have left?" I called, scanning the immediate area, my mind working on another plan.
"Uhhh...nine." Budder answered.
"Right. Grab 'em." I said. I turned to the waiter as we started to move. "You! Find a place to hide. Now!" He shook his head and galloped away. Suddenly, a pegasus in a blue and gold flight suit hit the ground nearby. We ran to help, just in time for the pegasus mare with a fiery orange mane and tail to stand and angrily shake off her fall.
"Gahh...haven't hit the ground in years..." She growled.
"You alright?" I pressed. She turned and looked me up and down.
"Yeah." She stated roughly. "No problem." I had an idea.
"Wait. Listen, uhhh..."
"Spitfire, Wonderbolt Commander," She said.
"Okay Spitfire, Lieutenant Drake, 12th Cavalry." I nodded. She nodded back. "Take these firebombs." I took the incendiaries from Budder and handed them to Spitfire. "Drop 'em on those leafy bastards, and I'll take care of the rest." I grinned. The Wonderbolt commander smiled evilly once she'd figured out my plan.
"Alright, just leave it to me! Light 'em up, Lieutenant!" Spitfire exclaimed energetically. She clutched the bombs as she shot off into the air.
"Bub...those were the only firestarters." Budder said apprehensively. "How are we gonna beat the trees now?" I chuckled.
"Spirits." I replied.
"Ghosts?" My sister asked in confusion.
"Nope...different kind of spirits." I answered, looking around for what I needed. Aha! A cart of adult beverages, just what the doctor ordered. I galloped over and grabbed a bottle of rum and two bottles of expensive and potent bourbon whiskey. "Come on, I'll show you." I explained. "Oh, and grab more napkins!" Budder took another stack of the fancy napkins and followed me a short distance across the Gala grounds, until I had to stop and behold a strange sight.
A stallion was sitting woozily beside a small pond at the edge of a building. He held a bottle of liquor in one hoof, purposefully throwing wooden folding chairs into the water with the other. Around him were two empty brandy bottles. In the heat of battle, I just had to stop and ask him the question that begged to be asked.
"What the Hell are you doing?!" I exclaimed.
"Oh whaw I dooo..." He slurred, waving the half-empty bottle. "Thish ships gooooooin dowwwn!" He explained philosophically. "Goota goin a saaave da passengerrrrs..."
"Gimme that you drunkard!" I yelled, taking his liquid courage. I shoved a napkin down the neck of the glass bottle as I began to gallop for the larger trees. Above, I spotted Spitfire, and the Wonderbolt apparently noticed me, as she did a loop, then dove toward the nearest tree-beast. I watched as she loosed two of the firebombs before shooting upwards. Her aim was good, and the flammable gel spattered on the rampaging tree. Now was my chance. I held up the bottle I'd prepared and started to light the napkin, only to find that I had forgotten an important step in my plan...something to light it with.
"Here ya go, pardner." A voice said. I turned to see an older stallion wearing a western-style suit and expensive white cowpony hat standing beside me. He had a handlebar mustache, underneath which was a cocky grin. He held up a gold-plated lighter in his right hoof and lit it.
"Thanks, sir." I said gratefully, lighting the moltov on his lighter. I pulled back and threw the flaming rum onto the tree, where it promptly shattered, the combination of flammable substances causing the tree to erupt in a ball of fire.
"Yeeeehaaawww! I think I'll join ya!" The stallion exclaimed. He held up a bottle of his own, took a cloth from my sister, and made a firebomb of his own. Spitfire bombed another tree with gelled alcohol, and the stallion quickly lit his cocktail and hurled it at the monster. The bottle exploded, lighting the tree like kindling. "Hooo doggey! I ain't had this much fun since I's a foal back on the ranch! Name's Biiiiig Tex by the way."
"Drake." I replied. "Good to meet ya, Big Tex!" Finally a rich pony that broke the mold. Grinning widely at the flaming chaos, Budder handed us each a bottle of liquor with a rag stuffed down the neck. The two burning trees staggered into each other and fell, crushing and igniting several smaller trees and bushes beneath them. Another huge tree, a large angry fir tree shambled toward us.
"Well Sweet Gorgea Pine!" Big Tex hollered. "I got this 'un, Drake!" He lit his bomb. "Don't need no oil on that!" He threw his flaming bottle onto the fir. Fire quickly consumed the tree, spreading all over the coniferous creature. "Pine sap's the best fire starter there is!" He guffawed, enjoying the fracas way too much.
"Where you from, Big Tex?" I asked "Gravelston?"
"HECK no!" He shot back. "C'rallus! A big oak stomped in from our right, but Spitfire doused it with a couple satchels of alcohol. I lit my moltov on Tex's lighter. "You?"
"This uptight burg, and I got out soon as I could!" I returned with a big grin, hurling the bottle and igniting the oak.
"Yeehaaaw!" Big Tex whooped.
We had created a wall of fire on one entire side of the grounds, completed by Spitfire dropping the last of the bundles of gelled alcohol onto a poplar just as it reached the pile of burning wood. Trees and bushes attempting to get through were set ablaze and destroyed, only adding themselves to the protective wall of fire. Now for the other side.
"Gotta run. You got it from here?" I asked. Big Tex looked back at the rack of liquors.
"You betcha I do!" He grinned.
"Thanks for the help, Big Tex." I called, trotting away.
"Thanks fer a good party, Drake!" He hollered back. "Go git 'em boy! Go git 'em! Hahahaha!" I shook my head as Budder and I hurried to the battle on the east side of the Gala.
"That, sis...was the most awesome rich pony I've ever met." I said with a hearty grin.
"That would so be you if you were rich..." Budder commented.
"Heheh...one can hope, right?" I laughed. "Now let's go help Shining do some logging!" I stopped dead, and my smile faded. Ahead was a line of guards and soldiers. Beyond, from out of the forest, an army of trees were arriving at the Gala. "That's...not good..."
So now Drake, Budder, and the Royal Army of Equestria are facing down an insurmountable force of evil trees. This doesn't look good. How are they going to stop them? Are they going to stop them? Chapter eleven will be up later tonight probably, so keep checking in for more. Until I return with the next chapter, thanks for reading, everypony! -Drake