Welcome to chapter 2! Glad everyone who read the first chapter was entertained, I will be keeping these chapters short, but may lengthen them later, anyway, let chapter 2 commence!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this Fan fiction and Alucard managed to get his twitter back.

Alucard was walking down the stairs. He had decided he needed to take an enthusiastic walk through the woods to better get acquainted with his new home, that way he could have something to do every night. As he was walking down he heard voices, one that sounded like it belonged to some pompous prick who thought his shit didn't stink, and that sounded like a girls. As Alucard got to the bottom of the stairs he saw them and then melted into the shadows to eavesdrop.

"Oh Katie, you have the most beautiful eyes." The blond prick said.

"Your so kind Guiche, you're the nicest guy here, everyone else just ignores me because I'm a first year, but you noticed me, and you're also the most handsome guy here." The girl said

"Anything for the most beautiful girl at this academy." Guiche replied.

"Oh you dirty bitch, work the shaft!" Alucard said, appearing right next to Guiche and Katie, who both promptly nearly had heart attacks. "W-What?" Guiche asked, confused at the vampires words.

"Oh sorry, it's just I like to dirty talk when I see someone getting their dick sucked." He grinned and looked at Katie. "Make sure to keep moving up and down, guys don't like it when they have to do all the work." Alucard then walked past them. "Oh I know you, your Louise the zero's familiar, some dirty commoner."

Alucard stopped when he heard those words and turned around. "Sorry, but I'm a fuckmothering vampire, I killed a lot of people to get this title, I deserve to be called as such, you little blond shit." These words confused Guiche even more, and Alucard just kept going down the tower.

Once he was outside he looked up to see 2 moons. "Oh my, well at least there is plenty of moonlight for my... shenanigans." Alucard grinned evilly, and then walked to the edge of the academy. He saw a forest off in the distance, and started walking. After about 30 minutes he reached the edge of the woods, and smiled "This is perfect, dark, plenty of trees, lots of clearings for moonlight to get in, oh It feels like I never left home, except I won't have any more arguments over the phone... or a 70 inch, plasma screen TV" Alucard looked sad, he liked his TV, it was probably the only inanimate object Alucard would think twice about shooting at.

Alucard then smiled, and walked into the wood. After about 10 minutes someone appeared in front of him, and Alucard stopped walking.

"Well well well, look what we have here, someone decided to go for a walk in the woods, shame you won't be leaving here alive." The voice was coming from a man who was standing about 15 meters from Alucard, he had a robe on, and was holding a wand, and he had messy brown hair and blue eyes.

"Excuse me, but I was enjoying a rather pleasant walk through the woods, now if you don't mind, you deranged fuck, could you please go die in a hole before I kill you myself." The man laughed. "I am a line mage, and everyone who's walked into this part of the woods has died by my hand! And soon you will join them." The crimson fucker just looked at the man, and he grinned his signature toothy grin.

The man laughed. "Why are you smiling at your own death?" He asked. "I'm not smiling, I'm laughing on the inside at your stupidity, clichéd threats, and the fact you aren't really... well intimidating as much as you try to be." The man stopped laughing and looked at Alucard. "You dare to mock me!?"

"Oh no no no no no." Alucard said with a smile. "Pff yeah." Suddenly the mages head exploded as a bullet ripped right through it. "Well that should about wrap things up here, certainly was a good evening, I should head back, but first..." He walked over to the man's corpse. "...snack time." He licked his lips.

Back at the academy, Louise was worried. Her familiar had wandered off, scared the shit out of Guiche, and then said some very strange things to him. She was lost in thought when her familiar seemed to just appear, like he walked through the wall. She screamed and jumped backwards, and her familiar looked at her.

"Are you scared of the boogie man? Don't worry, I'm a lot scarier." He grinned. Louise regained her composure. "W-where have you been?!" She demanded. Alucard sat down at the table and said very casually. "I took an enthusiastic walk through the woods, and I met some man claiming to be a "line mage". I then shot him; turns out he wasn't that tough after all, and he tasted horrible, he's dead now, in case you're wondering."

Louise's jaw hit the floor He killed a line mage?! "W-why?!" she asked, in total shock.

"He was disturbing my walk, and refused to leave me alone, so I had to teach him some proper manners." Alucard said, letting out a toothy grin. Louise just hung her head, she had given up. She then looked at him.

"So you went on a walk through the woods?"

"Yes."

"And while you were there you met a line mage?"

"Yep."

"And then you decided to kill him?

"Yes! Like I didn't just get through explaining this." Alucard said, sounding tired. Louise sighed. "I'm going to bed." She said, and then pulled the sheets over herself. Her familiar looked at her.

"Good, now if you don't mind, I've got things to do." Louise bolted upright. "Do things? What do you mean?" Alucard looked at her. "I Mean take enthusiastic walks through the woods, don't worry, I won't kill anyone or drink blood from anyone at this Hogwarts wannabe... yet." He grinned. "Drink blood?! Does that mean you're a vampire!?" Louise's eyes went wide, and Alucard sighed.

"I told you, I'm a fuckmothering vampire." Louise just slumped again. "Oh yeah, right." She hoped she was dreaming, maybe this was a nighmare and her familiar was something like a cat or dog or rat or microwave or dragon. Alucard turned away. "Now then where were we? Oh yes I'm going on an enthusiastic walk through the woods." He walked to the door when Louise stopped him.

"And you're going to kill anyone you come across?" She asked. The vampire turned his head and grinned at her.

"I'm going on a very enthusiastic walk."

There it is! Chapter 2, hope you guys enjoyed it. Please review or message me with ideas for the third chapter! Thanks for reading!