A/N: Title says it all, really. They're goofing around outdoors.

Warnings: Non-descriptive nudity, and more fem!Ned.

Outdoors

"When you said we were going to the beach, this was not what I had in mind, Joey."

"I know right? This is much better!"

"But the people, I can't just-" he stammered.

"Tough luck, Canuck. Rules are rules, so you're gonna have to." Joey said with a mischievous grin, winking at him before crossing over to the specified area. Matt let out a sigh.

"Lord, give me strength."

Matthew was standing in front of the tape, separating him from his girlfriend and possibly, maybe, definitely his dignity. He never should have agreed on letting her decide on what to do on sunny days. But then again, he knew she rarely had any sunny days to enjoy at her place to begin with, so he felt bad for her. Stupid empathy always getting in the way. Said girlfriend had found them a nice place on a reasonable distance from both the sea and the snack bar in the meantime, and was setting up everything before calling him over.

"Come on Matt, don't be shy. It'll be fun, trust me!" She was jumping up and down, waving at him. She looked so happy and excited. Matthew mentally slapped himself, straightening his back and tossing his duffel bag over his shoulder before crossing over as well.

'It will be okay.' He reassured himself. 'Everybody else here is the same, so we won't stand out. Oh, what the hell am I saying, I'm Matthew Williams! People wouldn't notice me if I was made from diamonds and handed out cold hard cash! I'll be fine!' And with that he lost all his nervousness, greeting Joey with a genuine smile when he got to her.

"Now that's more like it! You set up your things as well, and I'll get changed, okay?"

"Gotcha."

He turned around and put his own towel next to Joey's. He then rummaged around in his bag and grabbed two cans of beer and a book he planned on reading later. After putting everything in place he turned around, offering one of the cans to her.

"Wanna have a drink first or do you feel like-sweet mother of God."

"What? I'm not showing any tan lines, am I?" A slightly worried look crept on her face as she looked down on her body. Matt's face meanwhile was getting redder by the second. He's seen this sight so many times, but damn it if it still doesn't get him all fired up every single time.

"I…."

"Well?"

"Uh… no. No, you don't have tan lines." He finally managed to bring out.

"Oh, good. I hate tan lines. They look so tacky. And if it's alright with you I'd like to go for a quick swim first. Wanna join me?"

"Gee, I don't know. We ate before we came here, and you know what they say about eating and swimming."

"Matt, we ate at breakfast, and that was two hours ago." She said, giggling at his excuses. "But I won't force you. I'll be back in about fifteen minutes, and you'd better be in a more appropriate getup by then, you hear?" She gave him a quick peck on his cheek before running off towards the sea.

Matthew watched her go, enjoying the view of her well-proportioned, if a bit flat, derrière. Just thinking about the things he would, could and did do to said derrière was making his swim shorts tighten. He quickly covered his growing problem with his book, even though he knew no one was paying attention to him. Better safe than sorry and all that. He wondered if he should indeed slip out of his trunks and join her for a swim. And who knows, maybe they could do something besides swimming. He felt his trunks tighten again.

"Guess it can't be helped then," he sighed, getting up. He took another glance around him, and after once again making sure no one was looking at his direction, he dropped his trunks, shoved it to the side and quickly dashed his way across the beach towards the sea, where Joey was already at. Biting back a few curses because of the cold water hitting him he decided to completely go under for a few seconds to get used to the water temperature. When he rose up again and got his hair out of his face he was greeted by the smiling face of his girlfriend.

"Glad to see you joining me," she said, splashing some water at him.

"Yeah, I'd rather be here splashing at you than have a beer by myself." He said, splashing back.

"Plus, it's much easier to hide your boner this way too, right?"

"You know me too well."

"Haha, that I do. And if you want, I know this little hidden cavern for us to visit so we can take care of that problem."

A/N: They took care of that problem, played some volleyball, rubbed some sunblock on each other, ate junk food, enjoyed the sunset and then went home. The end :D.

God, if I wasn't such a hopeless hack you'd get some outdoorsy sex on the beach right now. One of these days I'll get drunk for real and then write it down.

In my headcanon Ned has no tanlines because (s)he tans completely nekkid in the backyard whenever the sun decides to show up. Aint nobody got time to be paying money to go to a tanningsalon anyway :P.

Hope you had fun reading, and reviews are always appreciated :D.