Hey guys, sorry it's been a while since I updated but for a bit I felt like I didn't really know what to do with this considering how what situation I've put it in, but due to my brilliance, I've come up with an idea that everyone will hopefully like, so here goes!

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this fanfiction.

Siesta still wasn't sure how to handle her situation. She looked at the other 2 girls in the room, Seras and Jessica, they seemed just as confused as she was. At that moment a tall man wearing a red coat phased through the wall, a mischievous grin on his face, as always. "Hello my 3 big titied servants, good to see your all handling the new situation well, If you have any questions, please feel free to ask..." the crimson fucker looked at all three of them "... I'll answer anything."

"Why did you turn us all into vampires?" Siesta asked. The vampire looked at her. "Because I figured 3 big titied vampire servants is far better than one."

(in Alucard's Voice)

Your probably wondering, how did all this come about? Well it all started one night during a midnight walk through the woo-

(record scratch)

No wait that's how I found the police girl back where I came from, fuck wrong story. OK lets forget that happened shall we?

Ok, well it all started the day after I kicked the shit out of that blond little shit (Who I decided to keep around just because I figured I might need a punching bag or "diversion" should I ever require one) and met the police girl. I met another girl who had equally big tits, and immediately named her French tits. After this she was rather disturbed and kept insisting her name was "Siesta" and of course I ignored her.

Anyway that hadn't been the focus of my afternoon. I went and found the blond shit and made him piss his pants again. Afterwards I went for an enthusiastic walk through the woods to visit the local church, repent my sins, shoot the shit out of all the priests, piss all over the cross, paint the walls with their blood, you know, the usual thing I do when I want to leave a good impression on the neighbours. Once I got back, I learnt that some old fuckbrick had taken the police girl and the maid girl.

I had gone to converse with my 'master' about the location of this Count Mott, who sounds like a right bott.

"Where have you been?" Louise asked the crimson fucker as he walked through the door, and by that I mean LITERALLY through the door. "taking an enthusiastic walk through the woods, what else do you expect me to do?"

"Obey my commands." Louise said simply.

"And I want to be the pope." Alucard declared. "Do you know where count Motts estate is?" he asked. "yes, why?" Louise asked. "it's just I figured I would pay him a visit, maybe pick up a few eggs and milk, and blow his house the fuck up."

Louise didn't catch the last part because he said it really quickly. "Wait what was that last part?" she asked.

"Nothing, now where's the house?" Alucard asked again. Louise looked at him, and just gave up trying to fight him. "His house is to the north, 20 miles."

"Thanks a lot flatsy!" Alucard shouted as he phased through the wall. Louise ran to the door and opened it, only to be greeted with the disorienting sight of all the paintings in the hall way tilted.

Alucard made his way across the landscape to the estate, and as he got to the gate (hey that rhymed, kind of) the guards stopped him. "Um excuse me sir, but no one's allowed in without a letter of permission from the count himse-" The guard was cut off as his head exploded, and his friend only had a moments comprehension before his head also exploded.

"Sorry chaps, but I'm in a bit of a rush, so if you don't mind, I'll just kill- oh wait their dead, woops." Alucard walked over the 2 corpses and kicked the gate down. All the guards ran at him at once yelling "intruder!"

"no it's the crimson fucker, and I'm here to save Christmas!" he started killing all the guards efficiently and without mercy. "This is fun, but it's boring how they run at my bullets and don't even try to DODGE!" he then blew another guards head off. "My murder boner ain't getting hard enough!" he then fired a bullet at the mansion door and blew it open, walking in surrounded by a pile of corpses.

When he saw count Mott he almost laughed at how stupid he looked. He was a total snob, for lack of better words, and he was shocked to see Alucard. "Who are you?" he demanded of the crimson fucker. "Me? Oh I'm just the post man, come to deliver some packages... of death." He then lifted his 2 guns and killed all the guards in the room, bathing the walls in blood. This shocked Mott, and Siesta who happened to be in the room. Mott saw her and grabbed her, using her as a human shield. "And I thought I had sexual issues, you take the grand prize, I do fucking say!" Alucard declared.

"If you use your weapons on me, she will die as well!" he declared with confidence, only to find he had a hole in his chest about 3 seconds later. "Makes my job easier." Alucard said simply. He walked over to siesta. "Well that should about wrap things up here. Oh sorry about the whole shooting you thing, but I'm sure if you look deep into your heart, which is currently all over that wall, you will find a way to forgive me."

Siesta was just looking at him with almost dead eyes, and Alucard just sighed. "All right fine, I'll also turn you into a vampire, but only because you have nice tits." So he turned her into a vampire, went downstairs, found Seras, did the same thing to her, and turned another big titied girl he found there called Jessica into a vampire.

"Why? Because I can." Alucard said.

Back to present.

"And also because you know, you all have nice tits." Alucard said in a matter of fact tone. All the girls would take time to get used to this. "For now, keep being servants here, I'd like to keep you close by. Anyway I have a 'master' I need to get back to in order to avoid being yelled at, so bye!" at that the crimson fucker phased through the wall and disappeared.

And that's that! I decided "why, instead of take seras out the story, just give him 3 big tited vampire servants?" I hope you guys all like my idea, and very soon, I will write a chapter that will hopefully be the greatest chapter ever, if you want a hint ill give it in the next chapter, if not, I wont give any hints away. For now, thanks for reading, you protestant bastards.