Chapter 9: Dinner at Lunaire
The waiter had quelled the bit of storm in the table for a little bit when he noticed the arrival of someone new, but just as important, in Michiru's table. The elder female Tenoh took the menu from his waiting hand and let her go back to eating in silence, looking down at the menu in the meantime.
Michiru couldn't help, but wonder where this was going to go and kind of crushed the fear that it wasn't going to go real well. If anything, she could stand her own against the tomboy's mother…if she were here to state her utter disgust on what her opinions were of her and her daughter's past relationship. But as she looked at the imposing figure of the wizened CEO and saw the same sparkling emerald eyes and crown of blonde hair, she couldn't help, but think that to be in the gracious side of the older woman was where she wanted to be in the most. Haruka had stated out loud that her mother and her were close, and if only for that fact did the violinist want to get to know the young CEO's mother as well.
Not sure on how to start off what she was thinking would be a pretty long night of conversations for the both of them, she stated, "I trust your company's meet and greet went finely last night without Haruka?"
Dark green eyes looked up at her from the menu, a smile flittering across Yoshiko's face. "That girl…when she's already thought of doing something, nothing can stop her."
Michiru gave an outward smile at such a thing only a mother could say.
"But yes…it was highly successful. It should be the catalyst of many joint partnerships in the future." The elder Tenoh thumbed through the menu once again before continuing, "And I trust your galleria last night was also successful?"
The violinist nodded. "A lot of paintings were sold so yes, it was a pretty good night overall…business-wise."
The two of them locked eyes, the staring of familiar emerald pools making Michiru miss Haruka's presence more than before.
When the waiter finally came back, Yoshiko had merely pointed at Michiru's dinner and said she wanted that, as well as passing Jiro's almost uneaten plate back. He gave a small nod and left them alone again.
Looking out into the pristine waters of Tokyo, Yoshiko with her arms propped before her gave a smile of serenity before stating, "I've always taken a liking to classical music."
The sudden turn of conversation and the way she wasn't staring in scrutiny back made the violinist look at her that much easier. Hearing the familiar orchestra in the background and figuring that was the catalyst of the almost random statement, she asked politely, "Is that where Haruka got her curiosity from?"
The older woman chuckled at her memories. "When she turned seven, I forced piano lessons on her." Michiru smiled at the way the blonde's mother's eyes sparkled as she revisited her past. "By that time she was already so into boys' clothes…I didn't know what to do to make her girlier. My husband proposed some musical training with what he thought was the girliest instrument that could sway Haruka to the gender she was born with: the flute."
Michiru for the life of her, couldn't stop the chuckle from coming out as she pictured an arrogant Haruka now, playing a flute…
"Yes…very uncharacteristic isn't it?" Yoshiko asked as she smiled at the other woman's relaxed features. "So we started with the flute…and of course Haruka-chan simply gaped at it…and then at us and thought outright that we were crazy. We hired the best instructor in all of Japan to teach her, but she had such a knack of hiding in the best places in the estate, that the instructor basically gave up waiting on her after his fourth visit which would still be considered Haruka-chan's first lesson.
"So he left…and she never picked up the flute unless she wanted to play with it like a sword…and after a while we thought, let her pick something she would be a little curious at…and then just smack her with it. Plan lesson after lesson that she'd grow tired and sick of the instrument just so that a once a week lesson with a flute sounded much better than a five days a week lesson with her decision." Yoshiko sighed as she shared a mirth of a smile with the violinist. "Well that goes to show that we can't underestimate our children.
"She picked the piano because I think in her eyes, she could play it looking like anything she wanted in the world and it would be okay, because it's an instrument that one can agree on that doesn't look as if it has a classified gender." Michiru merely nodded in agreement. "So…we crammed piano lesson after piano lesson in her mind and…about a month into it, we realized that we had fallen for our clever seven year old's trap."
The aqua haired woman smiled wider and asked, "She never complained about the lessons?"
Yoshiko sighed and shook her head. "Not once…And of course with that kind of schedule, she became rather good at the piano and before we knew it, we couldn't turn her back to the flute even if we forced it on her."
They shared a laugh at the table, the center of their conversation the first and foremost in both their minds. Silence encompassed them again, but this one surprisingly had an air of comfort in it.
Reaching for a glass of water their waiter had handed her earlier, the elder Tenoh gave an even look at the violinist before her before stating, "I'm not here to chastise you about anything Michiru-chan…so stop worrying about something like that happening."
Sapphire orbs widened a bit at the show of bluntness that could only be directly correlated to the Tenoh name and gave a small smile back. "Haruka has told you about us then?"
Yoshiko nodded and took a sip of her water. "Nh, she told me about your casual relationship."
Michiru looked away from the older woman and chose to use the time to sip some of her wine as well. Regardless of what she thought though, the elder Tenoh did come to her just to have a little dinner and to talk. She wanted to see if Michiru was as every bit worth it as Haruka had made her out to be. She'd seen her public persona before and of course she didn't want that, but her truer side…a side that her daughter must've already seen and became comfortable with.
"How do you feel about it? The ending to your relationship."
The violinist looked away from the serious look Yoshiko was giving her and instead picked up her glass of wine again. "I…felt it was an inevitable event."
The elder Tenoh nodded. "That it had to happen?"
"Yes. Sooner or later…We were hurting people that didn't deserve it…at least I was and Haruka had made it a point that when I said the relationship was over, it was over," Michiru explained quietly and took another sip from her wine glass.
"Do you regret it?"
The question kind of took the aqua haired woman aback for a moment. "Our relationship or that it had to end?"
Yoshiko only smiled. "Both?"
Feeling the familiar aches her body had begun sprouting since last night it took all of her willpower not to put her hand over her heart in a physical attempt to squash that painful feeling. Instead, her grip of the glass tightened and her frown settled itself over her face once again. "Yes, I do."
They locked eyes then, as Michiru's honest words rang out and the honesty of regret, pain, and sadness was obvious in the violinist's sapphire eyes—feelings that she didn't try to mask or quell because she was speaking to the blonde's mother…someone she desperately wanted to know that she was a good, if not wonderful woman, regardless of the circumstances.
Unbeknownst to anyone, but herself, Yoshiko had made it clear a long time ago that she would not butt in her daughter's businesses…that although she was somewhat a part of it, she would not be a catalyst for the major changes. And if her feelings served her right, what she saw now coming out of Michiru was that she loved her daughter as much as her daughter loved her…and the fact that they weren't together even after the fact, broke her heart.
As Michiru swished her wine glass, she focused her eyes on her unfinished plate and stated lowly, "At times I regret the fact that I agreed to a casual relationship with her. I regret that I was going ahead too blindly with whatever that came to mind and didn't see that she and I could've been very good friends and then maybe stem from that…It's because I'm too scared of what might happen to my side…it's always me. I'm selfish."
A bit of hollow laughter came out of her that made Yoshiko remember all too familiarly of her own daughter's anger and depression coming out only that morning in her office. And it hit her how such a perfect relationship that was obviously already beyond the realm of being friends with benefits, could end in such tragedy.
Michiru could feel her eyes beginning to sting and she hated that she probably looked so weak in Yoshiko's eyes, but she only looked down upon herself in an attempt to mask it. "But at the same time that I regret some of it, I can honestly say that I don't regret most of it at all," she continued and looked up at the elder Tenoh with a pained, but smiling expression. "Haruka…I looked forward to seeing her every single week. So much so that I didn't care whether or not I was hurting anyone because of it. Every single week I was tired and stressed and all of it just disappeared the moment I stepped in her beach house and she was inside it, already cooking or waiting for me so we can start cooking. I can call that place my home, in the last three months, more than I can call my condo or my estate my home just because she made me feel more welcome there than anywhere else I've been. She has that power over me…and I can safely say that I definitely love her more than I ever will feel an ounce of it for Jiro…"
Yoshiko swallowed hard at the painfully honest expression of the violinist before her and reached out with a motherly hand and stroked her cheeks. Michiru, although a little surprise at the show of endearment almost automatically leaned in to her touch as she stated a simple, "I see."
The waiter finally came with her food as well as an extra wine glass in which he splashed a good amount of Romanee Conti in as well. He bowed to them before leaving as Yoshiko took the wine glass and distributed some to Michiru's good naturedly.
"As for the ending of our relationship, I definitely regret it…" the aqua haired woman said with a drink of her wine. "But only because I won't have any reason to see her anymore. To her, our relationship might've been just…all the fun with no strings attached to it, but for me it became so much more a long time ago. And if she can get over it rather quickly, then I have no choice, but to go on as well."
Her words left Yoshiko baffled for a moment. The Haruka in her office this morning…definitely wasn't "over it." If anything, she was in mourning… But to say so out loud to the violinist would make her become the catalyst to the big change she didn't want to be and for this relationship to be as strong as she felt it could be, she wanted only Haruka and Michiru to fix it…all of it.
She sighed as she took a drink from her wine glass as well, liking the taste of it immediately. "So, what do you plan on doing now?"
Michiru gave a questioning look to the tall blonde's question. "I…feel like…Haruka and I should at least be friends after this ordeal… She means a lot more to me more than she's ever known and I really can't see myself in the future without her being at least a small part of it. We don't have to be running off somewhere in the weekend all the time…I just want us to at least be friends…"
Inside, Yoshiko was caught in between strangling the two kids, laughing at them, or completely joining them in their secret agony. They both loved each other with equal tenacity and yet, both feel as if their relationship was over and nothing in the world could bring it back. Maybe…the strategy to make them become friends…was a good idea… She could already feel the defiance from the violinist and she definitely knew her daughter was the most stubborn woman in the face of the planet…so…
"Hmm, friends huh?" Michiru looked up at Yoshiko's questioning eyes, noticing her in deep thought from the way it sparkled. "How do you plan on doing that?"
The violinist gave a helpless look and shrugged unsurely. "I'm…not entirely sure…"
"You love Haruka…there's no doubt in your mind about this fact right?"
The question seemed like a trick, but the aqua haired woman's eyes only widened slightly before nodding in agreement. "Yes—
"And you'll be more than alright with being only friends with her while marrying a man you don't have similar feelings for?"
Michiru gave a shadow of a cheerless smile. "I'll probably get used to the idea that she'll always be paramount in my mind regardless of who I marry. The main thing would be she won't have to worry about me getting hurt when I see her with other people…I'm a good enough actor for the job."
"And so is she…"
The retort of the older woman sent an asking frown on the violinist's face. Before she could ask what she meant though, a looming figure stood beside their table forcing both Michiru and Yoshiko to look up to a perplexed young CEO. Sapphire eyes widened at her sudden presence, causing her heart to leap out of her chest uncontrollably; she could literally feel her heart skip a few beats.
"I…'ll go eat with the board members…"
But before Haruka could leave, Yoshiko had already encompassed her wrist with her fingers. "Stay…have dinner with me…us…"
Michiru could feel the irritation bounding off of the tomboy's figure as her emerald eyes refused to meet hers. She stood there for a moment, her frown getting heavier by the second before another tug from her mother finally forced her to sit down in front of the violinist, her attention anywhere except the other woman.
It was a realization that the smaller woman had difficulty swallowing: it was the first dinner both of them would have trouble battling with the silence. But she inwardly thanked whoever was working with the faiths today to have such a random event fly graciously on her lap. She had missed the blonde since last night and here she was, in the flesh sitting before her.
She wore a business casual tan blazer and slacks with a white dress shirt devoid of any tie, the two top buttons popped off to reveal her usual white shirt inside. Her hair seemed wilder than usual, reflecting the look in her eyes just as properly. Michiru wondered why her day hadn't been as great as she had previously thought.
"What would you like to eat?"
Haruka gave a little shrug as the violinist looked silently on at her annoyed demeanor. Why she was acting that way was a complete mystery to the smaller woman. She hadn't really thought what the blonde would be like if they were to meet again in other circumstances after the events of last night passed, but she definitely wasn't expecting such an…angry stance. In fact, she would've thought Haruka would have more of a condescending manner! She had just slept with another girl and acted as if Michiru was the one between the two of them that had gone home with someone else last night…like a jealous lover…
A frown settled itself in her beautiful features as she continued to look on at a still avoiding Haruka.
The waiter came over once again as he noticed yet another new person in Michiru's table. Haruka immediately waved the menu away and just gave a curt nod at whatever her mother was eating as her order.
"Same wine, sir?" the waiter asked respectfully.
Her mother gave the barest hint of a smile before Michiru stated as a matter of factly, "Haruka's a woman…"
Sapphires met emeralds finally, the blonde's lips turning upward into a tiny irritated smirk that disappeared all too soon. She looked away from askance orbs of blue again before looking up at the already apologizing waiter with the same livid frown in her sculpted features. "Do you have anything harder? Liquor?"
"Haruka-chan, didn't you drive here?"
A loud sigh escaped the young CEO's mouth as Michiru gave a small, amused smile herself.
"Fine," the blonde grunted. "Water. Just…water… But if you can spike it with gin without me or my mother's knowledge, I'd certainly appreciate it…"
The waiter gave an amused laugh before nodding and skittering away at Yoshiko's obvious look of disagreement.
The table had gone silent again, Haruka obviously busying herself with the activities going on in the other tables, not appearing as if she cared what went on in theirs.
"Did you finish the packet regarding our next partnership with Storm Inc?" The elder female Tenoh started, dispelling the heavy silence that had wafted itself on their table.
The blonde only nodded, still eyeing the other end of the restaurant. "I thought we were going to talk more about it here? Wasn't that the dinner plan?"
Her mother nodded as Michiru could only look on between the stifle mother-daughter conversation. "I rescheduled it to tomorrow because I happened to see Michiru-chan here eating alone. It was a nice opportunity to talk to her about her latest album."
Everyone in the table knew it was a huge lie, but no one fessed up to it.
"How is that going Michiru-chan? My sources say you're going to release another one soon?" Yoshiko continued on nonetheless in the same, mother-like manner as if there hadn't been any interruptions at all.
Michiru only gave a small smile coupled with the dissipating frown in her face. "I was actually thinking about redoing it…all of it." Two pairs of emerald eyes stared in confusion at her then forcing her to look away at their too strong, unspoken question. "I've listened to the entire thing recently and it's been more than a year since my last album came out and…things change…so I've come to the conclusion that I want to change the majority of it and put more of my recent compositions in."
This was certainly surprising news to the two blondes in front of her which made her smile all the more.
Looking at Haruka's scrutinizing face, she focused her attention to her and gave the same kind smile they've both gotten used to in the time span of their relationship. "And if you want to drink Haruka go ahead. Satoshi-san and I can give you a ride back to your beach house…condo…or wherever."
Confusion marred the blonde's face even more as her mother only gave a wide knowing smile beside her. Her food finally arrived as well as the water which the waiter fully insisted did not have gin inside.
"Is it possible to order a screwdriver here?" Michiru asked. As her peripherals caught Haruka shaking her head, she only smiled knowingly and stated, "Bring three. I'm sure all of us could use a little bit of hard liquor in our system."
The waiter nodded in assent and disappeared once more after placing the utensils Haruka needed beside her plate.
"I am going to check on the board of directors for a moment," Yoshiko suddenly stated, making her daughter scoot out of the way at her sudden and random decision. "I'll be back so save my spot Haruka-chan."
The young CEO gave her a suspicious look as Michiru only smiled widely at the blonde's mother's brashness. Haruka sat back down and without another word or look at the violinist, she began her dinner.
Michiru hadn't noticed that a couple hours had passed by until she looked towards the sparkling pristine waters of Tokyo Bay and then up at the star littered sky. Even if their relationship had ended, she thought the two of them in front of one another in a restaurant's dinner table, somewhat eating together, looked romantic and normal to a passing stranger's eye. She smiled sadly at the thought that it was furthest from the truth.
"Why the sudden decision to change your music?"
She looked back down to Haruka who looked as if she didn't say anything because she still seemed so engrossed in her meal, but nevertheless heard the question softly asked.
"I wasn't lying about how I answered earlier."
"Yeah, but that was the half-assed version," the blonde stated crassly, looking at her in between bites of her meal. "I want to hear the version you're thinking about."
Michiru smiled at the way the other woman just uttered her sentence—with an obviously challenging air. "Alright," she assented and gave a small nod. "Let's play 'I'll tell you if you tell me' then."
Haruka smirked and only nodded in agreement to the other's outspoken challenge.
"When I heard what was produced in my album recently, I noticed how mainstream it sounded. At first I wondered if my producers tweaked anything because all the compositions seemed so lifeless…like they were created for the sole reason of pleasing the majority of my fan base, but I realized that I was the problem. I'd been creating, as you'd like to call it, 'half-assed compositions'."
The blonde nodded and put some more food in her mouth. "What're you planning on putting in then?"
Michiru merely shook her head. "Did you go to work today?"
Haruka chuckled lowly, the smile not reaching her eyes as she stared outside in the waiting darkness. Slowly she nodded. "Yeah, I did go to work today."
"Why?"
"What're you planning on putting in your album?"
They hadn't gone outside the boundaries of their game which was fine with Michiru. Ask one question, answer the question, and ask another. It was comfortable…something both of them can do to dispel the awkwardness that would appear again if they were to just abruptly stop.
"Definitely some of my more recent works. Works that haven't gone to the recording process because they're more personal for me than the compositions I could string together given a time of day. Why'd you go to work today?"
"I felt like it. What kind of works are the more personal ones?"
Michiru outwardly sighed at the way Haruka was answering her questions in a one word fashion, although in reality it was more like four. Nevertheless she eyed the blonde who gave her the same, still challenging look back and stated, "Feelings regarding my personal life. Isn't Saturday your day off?"
The young CEO smirked. "Yeah, it is. What parts of your life do you consider personal that you've actually composed about?"
"My parents' situation for one. Then why did you go to work today if it was your day off?"
"I felt like it—
"You can't use the same answer twice Haruka…it's part of the rules."
The blonde laughed and drank some of her water down. "I wanted to stop my mind from thinking about other things so I delved into something I knew would temporarily shut it," Haruka stated easily, the laughter dissipating from her voice altogether. "What does that one sound like…your parents' situation?"
"You should know…I composed it the afternoon I came back from our first night together." They stared evenly at one another, the lumps in their throats coming back in full force. Haruka was the first to break their staring contest, looked back down at her food, and began picking at it with her fork.
The two of them felt the rough and painful beating of their hearts that served to make that lump bigger and both wished the other couldn't hear just how fast and loud they reverberated together.
Michiru took some more of her wine in her system before starting their challenge once more. "Did you properly shut the problems your mind was incessantly feeding you or will you work again tomorrow?"
Feeling sick to her stomach, the blonde shoved the half eaten plate aside and wiped the corners of her mouth roughly. "Probably'll work again tomorrow. What other personal compositions are there?"
"Most of them are byproducts of events from the past three months…so you'll probably have the most intimate knowledge about how and why the titles fit the compositions when I release the album and you or your mother buys it…Although if you want I can send you a personal copy with a signed autograph…seeing as you were my muse for most of it."
Haruka smirked. "Glad I could be of use…"
The dull pain in her heart flared momentarily at the other woman's use of words as she swallowed it down. "It was a joke…"
"I figured just as much," the blonde shrugged and put on a crass smile. "I was as well if you didn't get it."
Michiru could only give a pained smile at how difficult and excruciating it was to talk to Haruka this way. She tried swallowing the pain down with a bit of wine again, but it was no use. She was never one for alcohol to begin with, and second she wasn't one to lose control over herself by drinking…although the thought of dulling the pain to the point of numbness seemed as if it was the best option for her right then.
She didn't even realize their screwdrivers had arrived until she noticed Haruka take a swig at her drink in one fell swoop. She graced her cocktail glass with a small look before looking back down at the table. She sighed softly at the inward conflicts her body, heart, mind, and soul were delivering to one another shortly and just wanted to disappear from the face of this table…in front of a Haruka that was nothing and at the same time everything she remembered her being.
"Are we done with this game?"
She nodded at a question that had more than one meaning to her as Haruka got up from the table just in time for Yoshiko to come back as well.
"You're done already Haruka-chan?" she asked as she noticed the foul and obviously hurting dispositions the two "kids" were currently sporting.
The tomboy merely nodded. "I'm going home. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow."
"I'll take you home—
"I'm fine!"
Angry emeralds stared deeply into sapphires that only defiantly stared back. "I said I would drive you if you drank and you did Haruka…so therefore I will take you home."
"Stop acting as if you care about my wellbeing!" Haruka yelled, causing some of the patrons to look at their direction. "The sex is over Michiru…We don't have to act like we know each other anymore…so stop acting as if you know me."
Haruka angrily strode out, leaving Michiru and Yoshiko standing at the foot of their table. Without another word or look to the blonde's mother, the violinist left as well, taking her cell phone out of her purse simultaneously. Only Yoshiko remained…with the most helpless look in her aging features. She sat back down at the empty table morosely, taking the wine glass to her lips and drinking some more of it in quiet and saddening contemplation.
O--O
She didn't know what she was doing here…just that she had to be. Ever since she left the restaurant her mind had been incessantly going a hundred miles a minute with rash words and statements that she felt her heart had finally shrunk in defeat. She had felt this way before, but had Haruka to cushion her once. Now she knew the blonde wouldn't be here beside her to help ease the pain a bit, but she hoped…really hoped that being in the presence of the only place she called her sanctuary could stop the pain emanating from her body all at once.
Satoshi looked at her worriedly from the rearview mirror and she completely hated the face he sported…a kind of mixed anguish and pity. Without looking at him, she uttered a word of thanks before going out of the car with her purse and violin case in tow and stared at the lifeless form of the beach house, the harsh winds sending her hair flying in all directions. Her face turned to the restless thrashing of the waters, the waves crashing to the shore roughly before she started taking small steps towards the door.
She reached for the familiar keychain in her purse, a keychain which consisted of only three keys to three doors: her condo, her parents' estate, and this beach house. She thumbed at the coolness of the surface of the key before inserting it into the lock and twisting it, hearing the familiar mechanics echo in her arrival.
Immediately she could almost see a smirking Haruka greeting her from the kitchen, the smell of what could only be their dinner wafting all around them as if an invitation to come in and rest from the world outside. Flickering the switch for the small chandelier in the dining room, the light came in quickly to chase the pervading darkness away.
She stood next to the dining room table for a second, taking in the familiar sights of what she had called her home in the past three months. She glanced at the sofa where they had shared innumerable nights just sitting on and talking, at the small baby grand piano in the corner where they had fooled around and tried some compositions that were never serious enough to merit her to ask for a duet, but real and loving enough that she would be more than willing to wait for the next time they could. And then at the kitchen, where the last things she washed consisting of the plates, utensils, and glasses they ate curry with still rested on the drying portion of the counter.
As her eyes began to brim with tears at the thought of never being able to come inside this sanctuary again, she bent down to her violin case and clicked it open. She pulled the chair that she had called hers in the allotted time she's spent there and took out a folder inside the case with unfinished compositions that only needed revisiting, the proper thought process, and environment to become finished.
She first settled on "Haven" a piece dedicated solely on her feelings for this beach house and began playing the notes she had already memorized by heart. The notes came out of her violin perfectly, her emotions making the piece more meaningful than any of the tracks she had heard that previous morning in regards to her new album. She closed her eyes and just simply felt with her senses.
She again saw Haruka's smiling face greeting her as she passed through the door, asking her how her week had been like, fully knowing that it had only gotten better now that the weekend was here. She could hear the rolling sound of the waves, always gentle and luring with the accompanying sounds of seabirds in the distance…smell the frying chicken breast that would be an adjunct to the fettuccini they'd be having that night for dinner.
And here, in the rising climax of her composition in which she only played what she felt in her heart and soul, she smiled and cried at the same time. She smiled at the fact that she had these memories…that she had an actual place to call home after all the hustle and bustle that was her work week. She smiled at the simple memory that Haruka was hers for the time being, not for an entire day, but at least for several hours where she didn't need to play the part of a sophisticated young woman who looked as if she had the most carefree lifestyle when in reality her entire world was falling apart.
She hadn't needed to act.
Feeling the warm tears encompass her cheeks, her heart grieved at the fact that she would never be able to go back here again…that she would never be able to see the side Haruka had shown her and not to anyone else…even the ones she had been intimate with before. As the music grew to a close, she gave a small smile of melancholy and let the note dwindle before she came to a complete stop. Smiling at a certain tear that tickled her cheek a little, she wrote the finishing touches on the "Haven" piece and pulled a few more blank music sheets from the folder before making her way upstairs to the bedroom, her violin and bow still grasped with one hand.
As she pushed the door open with her forearm, she smelled in the musky and familiar scent that she could only describe as Haruka and made towards the bed after switching on the lights. She loved this room, from its perfect sunrise view to the fact that she had shared it with Haruka countless times. Briefly she wondered if the blonde ever took any of the women she's slept with here before and completely crushed the thought as soon as it came. She would not taint her haven by simply going off and making her mind run amok. This was hers and Haruka's place…and regardless of the fact that the blonde had, had women here before didn't matter.
She briefly glanced at the high ceilings, the white curtains covering the two balcony doors to the side and the doorway to the bathroom that was halfway open. She knew Haruka would not be coming here tonight…her instincts told her so, so lastly she looked at the small closet to the side of the bedroom and walked to it as well after depositing the blank music sheets and her Stradivarius on the clean, made bed.
She flipped through the blonde's dress shirts with a smile, swiping at the drying tears that were making it hard for her to see properly. Deciding on a white cottony dress shirt, she pulled it out of its hanger and embraced it for a second, smelling the fabric with a small smile.
There were times when Haruka chose to wear cologne and although she didn't bathe in it like some men did, Michiru always thought that her natural smell made the best aphrodisiac. It served as the thing that drove her needy and made her calm all at the same time. Taking off her sundress, she folded it properly at the foot of the bed before settling in the comfortable dress shirt, feeling as if the tomboy herself was hugging her due to her smell that encompassed her entire being. Buttoning it up to the last two buttons, she gave her evening attire a once over before smiling to herself and going into the bathroom.
A hint of a blush covered her cheeks then as she remembered all the intimate moments they shared in there, from taking showers together to brushing their teeth at night. Looking to the right side of the sink, she saw two cups sitting there, one with a yellow and marine blue toothbrush and the other, a rinsing cup.
"Ne, Michiru? What's your favorite color?"
The question took her aback at first before answering with only an asking glance, "Marine blue?"
Haruka laughed brashly. "Not just any blue, but marine blue huh?"
She gave the tomboy a chastising look. "You asked and I answered and you still have the nerve to make fun?"
The blonde only laughed some more. "Yeah, and mine's…sparkly gold!"
"Sarcasm is your only friend Haruka…"
"Aww that kind of hurts…"
She had wondered why Haruka asked the question, but didn't ask about it anymore because the blonde had pouted after that little playful banter and it had been too much for her to just sit there and take it. The next week however, it came back to mind when she entered the bathroom to freshen up and noticed the little addition of a manual marine blue colored toothbrush right beside the tomboy's yellow ones. The blonde made it a point to change them every month with the same brand and the same color and neither ever said anything about it, but it was one of the things that was the catalyst for making Michiru feel at home and welcome in her beach house.
She picked up the toothbrush and looked at her morose and depressed figure in the mirror. Her cheeks were red, eyes puffy and it took all she could to realize that if she were to be a stranger looking at her, she would feel pity as well. Shaking her head to dispel the thought, she reached for the toothpaste and brushed her teeth thoroughly, making sure to clean up after herself in the process.
When she got back to the bedroom, she pulled the sheets off their tidy positions and settled in, grabbing a pencil beside the lamp on the bedside table and for the blank music sheets and her violin resting at the foot of the bed as well.
The title for her next composition would be easy enough… 'Distant'. It would be in English lest it'd be called Haruka and ruin the secret behind it. Not that she minded calling it Haruka since it would be about the sandy haired woman, but if Haruka were to ever hear it…she would know it was for her unlike a stranger who would hear it and just hear…the best piece of music the violinist has ever composed in her entire life.
Out of anger, frustration, or maybe even honesty, Haruka had bluntly stated only a couple hours back that she didn't know her…but even there is where Michiru needed to draw the line.
If anyone in the world knew her, it was the violinist who knew her best. Maybe her mother came to a close second…but Michiru definitely held that number one spot. She was more aware of it as she tested out tune after tune, crossing out music note after music note to find the song that didn't exactly say who Haruka was to Michiru, but came strikingly similar.
Her mind recalled every memory they had spent together, fueled only by the surroundings in which they shared almost one hundred percent of their time together and transferred everything to her singing violin and into the already filling music sheets.
She felt full…content…just from the in between talks with herself that she knew someone this much—that she loved someone enough to know them this much, and continued on as if the realization wasn't the best thing to ever grace her mind when it was.
She didn't remember exactly what time she slept that night. She did remember going back downstairs to fetch more blank music sheets and coming back upstairs to lose herself in her work again. And as she worked, millions of memories flew to her mind making her laugh, making her heart wrench to the point where she cried, and making her wish that Haruka really was there with her that night.
She slept without really knowing it, her tears drying up by themselves as she covered herself with the comfortable goose down blanket. Haruka's familiar smell danced all around her making her heart twinge a little because of her missed presence and she slept with a small sad smile marred with a soft frown on her beautiful features, her violin to her left side and the music sheets strewn all over the empty portion of the huge bed.
O--O
She woke up just as dawn broke…because it was Sunday morning and it was the norm for her to be up before a Haruka that wasn't present in the beach house. She smiled ruefully at this unbroken habit and slipped out of the warm comforts of the bed. She slowly undressed herself and yearned at the lingering smell of Haruka's scent on the dress shirt she wore for the night before hanging it back in the closet. She was awake, but felt tired.
Reaching for her cell phone that read half past five, she dialed her manager's number as she went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. She expected it to go to a voicemail and wasn't at all surprised when it did.
"Shizuka-san, good morning," she greeted stoically. "I want to make…a lot of changes regarding my new album. Meet me at the studio when you can."
She turned her cell phone off and completely undressed herself before stepping into the already fogging shower stall.
A half an hour later, she came out of the bathroom wearing the same sundress she adorned yesterday. She figured she had to go home first to change as she gathered the music sheets on the bed and rearranged them to the order they had to be played in. She folded it all under her arm and grabbed her Stradivarius and bow before going back downstairs and depositing it all back in her violin case. Going back upstairs, she made the bed exactly how she saw it before sleeping on it and looked at the room she loved, the hues of the rising sun complementing well with the creamy color of the walls.
She stood there for a moment, looking at everything around her. She had cleaned everything up properly. If Haruka were to come here, she wouldn't ever have guessed that she had spent the night.
Michiru embraced herself with her arms and looked on with a melancholic smile. They had…the most perfect relationship. It was perfect because it was kept a secret just as she wanted since day one. It was as if she was never here. It was as if she had never shared a moment in here with Haruka…not a single laughter, not a single meal…not a single moment. The only indication that she had been here was the toothbrush…and in a matter of weeks, maybe less…Haruka would throw it away and all traces of their relationship would become the past. As if it never happened.
They had the most perfect relationship…
Swallowing quietly to herself, Michiru turned around and closed the door to the bedroom behind her. Going down the steps, she embraced herself tighter, feeling none too colder, but feeling the pricks of goose bumps going up her arms nonetheless. She felt her insides knot into complicated twists, but she merely wiped the expecting tears away with one dab of her fingers. Biting her bottom lip, she looked at her two belongings: her purse and violin case and swallowed the lump in her throat again as she dug through her purse and into the keychain.
She looked at the nondescript key of the beach house and felt more tears cascade out of her eyes.
"What's this?"
"An extra key," Haruka replied easily and with a shrug. "I always lock the doors and I might be in the bathroom the next time you come in. I wouldn't want you to wait outside for me so…"
She smiled widely and gave a peck to the blonde's cheeks. "Ara, I'm so flattered…"
Michiru closed her fingers tightly on the cold key as she cried in muted silence. Walking to a coffee table situated beside the sofa, she deposited it there, making a small tinkle of a noise. Turning away, she hurriedly got her purse and her violin case and made her way outside, making sure to lock the front doors as she did so.
Satoshi waited outside for her, standing just a few feet from the door and met her with a bow and a sad smile that she couldn't reciprocate back. It broke his heart to see such a proud and strong woman finally cry, but he knew it would be inevitable. Slowly, he gave her a reassuring smile and walked over to her to give her a warm hug. She merely rested her forehead in his small shoulders, her frame shaking uncontrollably and her knuckles turning white from the grip she had upon carrying her violin case.