A/N: This last prompt is supposed to be about you own kink, but I don't think I have any. I do have plenty of guilty pleasures though. I guess I'll just write about something from that huge list :D.

Warnings: A Red Riding Hood story, woo! I love fairytale themed stories, and RRH is one of my faves. Pretty much weirdness and crack with some fluff. Happy reading!

Red Riding Hood

"Do you have everything put in you basket, honey?"

"Yes, mother. A big pan of pasta, a couple slices of pepperoni pizza, a bottle of wine, and for dessert my famous stroopwafels."

"Excellent. Your grandmother will be back to her feet in no time after eating all that."

"Otherwise that deep sleep that she will be in after finishing the entire bottle of wine will do the trick, hehe."

"Oh, Johanna, don't say that. Grandma doesn't drink that much."

"Right, and I bought this bitchin' red riding hood with my own money, instead of the money I got from bringing those empty glass bottles to the recycling plant." She said with a mischievous grin, dodging the smack her mother wanted to give her upside her head.

"You're definitely your grandmothers grandchild alright, good grief. Now hurry up, and remember…"

"I know, mother. Don't stray off the path, don't talk to strangers, don't punch people who try to tap my shoulders from behind to get my attention to ask me directions."

"Yes, good girl. Tell grandma I said hi."

"Will do. I love you, mother."

"I love you too, honey."

Johanna made her way down the road to her grandmother's house. Despite the jokes she made about her to her mother she did love her grandma very much. She was a very funny and caring person, if you looked past that grumpy façade and foul mouth. And she did become a hell of a lot nicer ever since she met that huntsman. Hopefully he would visit today too, she always loved making him uncomfortable by calling him grandpa and asking him when he would pop the question to grandma. Maybe she should visit his house first, so they could go together.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the person in front of her, and bumped into them, almost dropping her basket.

"Whoa, whoa! Oh, thank goodness, I saved the basket, grandma would have killed me otherwise. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't even check to see how you are doing. Everything alright?" She put the basket down before rushing over to the one still laying on the floor, carefully helping them sit up.

"Oww, my back," she heard him say as he got up, carefully rubbing it.

"I really am sorry, I was so lost in thought that I didn't see you."

"O-oh, that's quite alright. Not a lot of people notice me anyway," He said in a soft voice, pulling his red hoodie closer over his eyes.

"That's no excuse, I should have paid better attention. Hold on a sec." She rushed over to the basket, and grabbed a few stroopwafels. She then made her way back to the guy, putting the sweets into his hands.

"Here, take these as an apology, I made them myself."

"I, uh. Thank you, miss. What are these?"

"Stroopwafels. They were supposed to be for my grandma, but she won't notice a few missing ones."

"Are you sure it's alright? I don't want you getting in trouble." He asked, a slightly worried tone in his voice.

"I insist you take them. And seriously, don't worry about the sweets, I always eat a couple on my way over anyway, she won't notice."

"Oh. Well, if that's the case then I'll gladly dig in. Thank you, miss!" He smiled a genuine smile before shoving a stroopwafel into his mouth. A look of heavenly bliss suddenly adorned his face as he swallowed it down, and he grabbed Johanna's hands, pulling her close to him.

"By everything that is holy! Miss, that was the single most delicious thing I have ever tasted!" He said, his violet eyes beaming with pleasure.

"Glad to hear you like it," she replied with a smile. "I decided to mix things up and used maple syrup instead of regular syrup this time."

"Would it be a bother to you if I asked for a little more of that heavenly treat?" He pleaded. Johanna had wanted to refuse at first, because she wanted to keep some of it for her grandma. And okay, for herself too. But the guy had such an adorable, puppy like look in his eyes as he pleaded. She could not bring herself to refuse him. A little sigh escaped her.

"Sure, I'll go get you some more. But the rest is for my grandmother."

"Of course, miss, I understand." He said, a relieved smile on his face. "Thank you."

"No problem. Here you go." She handed him some more stroopwafels, picking up her basket and making her way over to her grandma. Before she walked away from the mysterious man though, she crouched down next to him, reaching out a hand.

"I just realized that we didn't even properly introduced ourselves. My name is Johanna."

"Goodness, how rude of me! My name is Matthew, miss Johanna. It was a real pleasure meeting you." He said, grabbing her hand and planting a kiss on the back of it, causing her to blush.

"I-I, uhm. N-nice to meet you too, Matthew." She wanted to get up and continue her journey, but found that Matthew was still holding her hand. "Matthew? Would you mind letting my hand go? I need to hurry to my grandmother."

"My apologies, miss Johanna. I couldn't bring myself to release these beautiful, skillful hands just yet. I didn't mean to keep you from your visit." He let go of her hand, and took a step back.

"Uh, right. I'm off then. I guess I'll see you around, Matthew. Have a nice day!" Johanna continued on her way, turning around one final time to wave goodbye before she disappeared into the woods. When Matthew saw her enter the woods he immediately dashed in after her. He couldn't let her go anymore, not after finding something... no. After finding someone so sweet.

After another twenty minutes of walking and pondering about the strange guy she met Johanna had finally arrived at her grandmas cottage. She quickly fixed her hood and dusted a little dirt of her dress before knocking on the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, grandma! Your favorite granddaughter in the world!"

"Johanna, my dear! Come in, come in!"

Johanna opened the door and entered the cottage, closing the door behind her. She then took of her red hood, putting it away. After quickly running her hands through her ash brown hair and fixing it up a bit she took the basket into her hands again, walking into the kitchen to prepare her grandma her meal.

"I hope you're hungry, grams. Mom made your favorite dish, and I brought your favorite dessert, with a little twist of my own."

"A twist, huh? What might that be?"

"You'll find out soon enough, and I promise you'll love it."

"Sounds exciting, I can't wait."

She put the final touches on the food, before taking the tray to her grandmas room. It was a bit darker than she remembered it, but then again, the curtains were closed, so that explained that. At least she had a lit candle next to her bed. But what was up with that light making grams look so weird?

"Do you want me to open the curtains, grams?"

"Oh no, dear, thank you. I have a little headache, I prefer it dark for now."

"Sure. And here you go, one homemade meal with lots of love in it so you can get better again. Bon appetite!"

"Thank you, dear. Care to join me?"

"Nah, I'm good. I already ate a little of that dessert on my way here. And I hope you don't mind, but I also gave some of it to a guy I bumped into as an apology."

"I don't mind at all, dear. How was he like?"

"He was nice. A little bit weird, but nice."

"W-weird? How so?"

"He wasn't weird in a weird way. Not at first anyway. He kissed my hand as he thanked me for the sweets."

"That sounds romantic."

"It was, I didn't mind that. But when I wanted to leave he said that he didn't want to let go of my beautiful and skillful hands. It creeped me out a little, to be honest."

"O-oh. I'm sure he didn't mean it like that, dear."

"You think so, grams?"

"I'm sure. He was probably enchanted by your kind nature and beautiful eyes. And why shouldn't he be?"

"You know, you might be on to something, grams. I wish I could see him again to ask him myself if he indeed feels that way."

"R-really now? What would you say then, exactly?"

"Well," she said, as she leaned closer, "first I'd ask him what the hell he was thinking when he broke into grams' house and impersonated her."

"W-what?"

"And then I'd tell him that he has exactly ten seconds to tell me what he did to her before I skin him and wear his skin as my new hood."

"W-wait a sec, I did-urk!" He found himself with the sharp end of a knife against his throat, preventing him from speaking. Johanna seemed to notice that too, but before she removed the knife she jumped onto the bed, putting her legs on either side of his arms and sitting on his stomach, preventing him from any movements.

"Ten seconds, scumbag." She hissed.

"There was no-one here when I came! Your grams left a note that the huntsman came and took her to some sort of spa for a week! Please don't skin me!"

"Where is the note?"

"Under the pillow!"

Johanna quickly checked, and did indeed find a note in her grandmas handwriting, describing what Matthew had just said. She let out an annoyed sigh. Of course that idiot huntsman forgot to inform her and her mother, she could have spent the rest of the day in the garden instead of coming here!

"Your story checks out so far. But that still doesn't explain why you did what you did. If you did indeed find me so beautiful, why didn't you just tell me before I left? We could have planned for a date and then you wouldn't have to be stuck in this mess!"

"Well, if I'm perfectly honest I don't really mind the position I'm in right now," he said, trying to break the tension with a little joke. Johanna was having none of it, though.

"Don't be a smartass, smartass. What if grams was home? What is the huntsman was here? He would have killed you were you stand!"

"If they were here then I would have waited until you'd leave and meet you at the same place as this afternoon. And then I would have told you about how I feel about you. I can't bring myself to be without you anymore. I need you."

Johanna let out a sigh at hearing that. "Aren't you being a little dramatic, Matthew? We only talked for like five minutes and I gave you sweets, that's it. How is that a strong enough base for a happily ever after?" Sure, it was kind of sweet that she left such a strong impression on him, but it was definitely not enough for a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

"Well, they do say that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and trust me, you got that part in the bag already."

"Are you sure you aren't just in love with my baking?"

"That may be what started it, but your kind heart is what sealed the deal. I knew it the moment I kissed your hand."

"Exactly. You knew it. Not me. Who says I feel the same way?"

"Only you can say that in the end, of course. And I would be really happy if you did feel that way. But I know I can't force you. And I deeply apologize for breaking into your grandmother's house and scaring you. I know I have no right to be even asking you this now, but if you could find it in your heart to forgive me let me make it up to you I would really appreciate it. Please, Johanna."

He was sincere, she could tell. She closed her eyes for a bit, thinking it over. After an agonizingly long time (in Matthews opinion, anyway) she finally opened her eyes and removed herself from him. Matthew was strangely disappointed by that. She reached out her hand, and Matthew gladly took it.

"I don't know if I can forgive you just yet. Breaking and entering is a pretty serious offence." She started, and Matthew felt his heart drop. "But I am willing to give you a chance to redeem yourself and make it up to me. Starting by helping me clean the mess in here up." She finished with a smile, and just like that Matthews spirit was lifted. He pulled Johanna into a hug.

"Thank you, Johanna. I won't betray your trust."

After they were done cleaning the cottage and finished the rest of the goodies in the basket Johanna stood up to leave for home again. Matthew walked her part of way.

"May I ask you something, Johanna? How did you know I wasn't your grandma?"

"You were way too nice, really," she said with a chuckle. "Grams can't say anything nice without calling me a bratty little kid, haha. Oh, no need to look so shocked, it's just how she is. And I wouldn't have her any other way."

"I-I see. And who taught you how to handle a knife like that?"

"The huntsman. He would've been my grandpa already, but I think grams has commitment issues. But she did go to that spa with him, so maybe she finally changed her mind."

"Maybe." He said, smiling. "Does he make her happy?"

"Happier than I've seen her in a long time." Johanna mused.

They continued their walk until they reached a fork in the road.

"You know, I never even asked about your situation. Where do you live? Do you have a family too? What do you do when you're not bumping into me?"

"I… don't really live anywhere. And I may have had a family once, but I've been alone for such a long time that I don't remember anything about them. Also people tend to overlook me for some reason, so I take advantage of that and I, uh, well…"

"Yes?"

"I pretty much steal my food together, and sneak into houses and stables at nights to sleep."

"Matthew, I had no idea, I'm so sorry." Johanna said, putting a hand on Matthews shoulder and squeezing it. He put her hand on top of hers, squeezing back.

"Hey, it's not like you knew. But thank you for your concern."

"Will you be sneaking into someone's house again tonight?"

"That was the plan, yes."

"I won't allow it. Who knows where you'll end up? What if they find and catch you?"

"That won't happen. If I don't want to be found, I can't be found." He stated, a slightly proud tone in his voice.

"Maybe so," Johanna huffed, choosing to ignore that, "but I'd rather not risk it. You're staying with me tonight."

"So you changed your mind?"

"No. I just don't want your capture on my conscience. And I don't particularly like the idea of you stealing everything together either."

"There isn't much else I can do."

"Sure you can. My family owns a bakery. You can be our apprentice and become a productive member of society and make your own money, so you won't have to steal that of others." She stated matter-of-factly.

"I…"

"Consider that your way of making it up to me. With you at the bakery I'll have more time to spend in the garden, and mom won't have to keep dragging me away. What do you say?"

Matthew didn't know what to say, so he did the only thing he could at that moment. He pulled her into another hug, holding her close to his body.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

A/N: At first I wanted to make a RRH parody, and then it turned serious. And so long! What the hell. But I kinda like it. Sorry if it's a bit random. Matt was supposed to be a wolf before he decided to be an orphan. And I'm too lazy too change it. I'm a lousy author TT_TT.

Well, that was it for this NedCan thingie. I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you all had just as much fun reading it. Leave a review if your so inclined, and I'll see you all for the next story :D.