Day 7 of Winter 2015 Swan Queen Week.
Emma stared at the closed door and huffed. She really wasn't in the mood to put on her, "I'll be a good citizen," smile when meeting her Probation Officer, but what other choice did she have? She was lucky the judge didn't serve her any time with the string of car thefts she had under her belt. Of course, he was only aware of a handful of them, not the dozens she had nabbed over the last few years across several states.
Emma straightened her blouse and slacks one last time then held up her fist to knock.
"It's open," the voice on the other end hollered before her hand even had a chance to reach the door. How long had her P.O. known she was on the other end? Emma shrugged it off and inched the door open immediately recognizing the top of the persons head.
"Emma Stills," the female Probation Officer announced without glancing up. Emma froze; the voice she knew even better. She told her feet to turn and run, but her body never listened to her mind when it came to her ex's, especially this one.
"Ms. Stills," The officer continued still ruffling through papers on her desk. "I don't have time for shy criminals, you were brave enough to steal a few cars, you can certainly greet me," she finished with a sharp look in her eye until she met Emma's. "Swan?" She yelped. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Regina," Emma said placing her hands up defensively. "I think there was a mess up with your paper work."
Regina huffed as she stormed across the desk toward the door. She peeked around the corner to make sure no one had heard them then locked it before turning back to face Emma. "You can not be here," she whispered angrily. Seeing how worked up Regina was though only made Emma smile. "Don't do that," Regina snapped getting more flustered.
Emma watched as Regina wiped away at her anxious brow while pacing in tight circles in front of the door.
"You do realize I didn't do this right? You told me we couldn't be together after you got accepted into the academy a few years back and I left you alone. I wasn't happy about it, but how they hell was I supposed to know you would follow me out west?" Emma almost regretted the smirk she added afterwards until she remembered how much fun she used to have with a worked up Regina.
"Followed you? I specifically asked for a transfer to avoid this very thing."
"Aw," Emma replied, no longer bothered by their situation in the slightest.
"Do not do that. There's no way I can be your Probation Officer."
"No offense, but what are you going to tell the higher ups? I'm sorry, the car thief you assigned to me used to give me mind-shattering orgasms in the cars she used to steal."
Regina snagged Emma's arm and pulled her as far away from the door as possible. "You can not be serious?"
"Oh come on Regina, I'm not a guy. I know when I make a woman…"
"Not about that," Regina growled digging her nails into Emma's arm.
Emma glanced at Regina's face and held her other comments, although she was enjoying them silently. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. Listen, you don't have to say or do anything. I'll be on my best behavior. They'll even want to promote you after they see what a great influence you had on me."
Regina let out a sigh as she removed her grasp leaving imprints of her nails behind. "But what if they find out?"
"Regina," Emma started gently. "If they didn't find out about me during your background check, what makes you think they'll put it together now? No one knows about me right?"
"No."
"Are you sure?" Emma questioned. "You really didn't tell anyone about your wild phase? Cause I have to say, it was pretty memorable to me...well it was until you broke my heart."
"Emma," Regina tried to intervene, but now Emma was the one to turn away as memories of their hurtful breakup floored her mind. Regina was the first person she ever loved, the first person to believe that she could do something more with her life then steal cars. Of course, after Regina mangled her heart Emma didn't see her potential anymore. All she saw, was that she wasn't good enough. It was so difficult to live without this woman in front of her that she moved out west, not to help Regina thrive in her new career, but to flee from all the heartache she had caused.
Now Emma was the angry one. Why should she care if Regina's dirty laundry spread like wild fire? Regina was always one to put up a front for all to see and it used to infuriate her. But behind closed doors, Emma knew what a free and imaginative person she was. No matter how angry she was, Emma's heart refused to hurt her.
"Let's just get this year over with ok? I'll do my checks like a good little criminal and your secrets will remain secrets."
Emma went for the door, but Regina snagged her arm again; this time with care. "Wait."
"I don't think I want to."
"Please," Regina begged. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Emma asked unable to turn around as tears began to build.
"For what I did… for why I did it."
Emma rolled her eyes thinking of Regina's parents and their hold on her. Regina came from a long line of police officers, detectives, commissioners; basically everyone in her family had a job off some branch in the criminal justice system. Regina always wanted to sing, but her dreams were laughed at by everyone around her but Emma. Emma even thought she reached her at some point, pleading for Regina to come out west with her where she can sing and Emma would stop stealing cars and get one of those real jobs people talked about; maybe bartender at a club Regina could sing at. Emma closed her eyes and could still picture their old forbidden dream.
"I still see it too you know," Regina started. "You lying out on the beach, me humming a silly Metallica song just for you even though I can't stand them as I apply your sunscreen, then we walk home to our tiny cottage on the beach that we would joke was more like a walk-in closet than a house, but it didn't matter because we were happy."
Emma turned and smiled. She wanted to stay angry, but Regina voiced their dream, the same one she saw when she closed her eyes. They always had the same thoughts. "I guess that's what it will always be now huh?" Emma replied saddened, "a dream."
Regina's hand shook as she reached out and cupped Emma's face. "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough then?"
This made Emma's face scrunched up as she examined her words. "Then? Are you saying you're strong enough now?"
Regina jerked back her hand and let out an uncomfortable laugh. "This is crazy."
"What is?" Emma asked stepping in front of her, begging Regina to not close up and go on.
"This, you, here. Emma, I'm a Probation Officer. My mother was already going for detective at this point in her career, but me, I'm here, because I have no desire to go anywhere else. Every morning I wake up and ask myself, how much longer can I take this, but I never have the courage to do anything about it, but then you show up. Am I really supposed to think this is an accident?"
The Regina Emma knew was slowly beginning to surface. Everything happens for a reason, Regina always used to say, but when she left Emma stopped believing in that too. But maybe Regina needed to experience this life before figuring it out. Not that it excused the hurt she caused, but Emma was willing to hear her out.
"What are you trying to say Regina?"
"I'm ready," she said overly excited, but quickly dropped her head. "I'm sorry, here I am having a life changing moment and I just assumed you would run along side me, after everything I've done to you, after years of not seeing each other. Would you even want a life with me now?"
"Well," Emma started trying to sort out the chaos of the last ten minutes, "I'm still mad at you, and trusting you again will not be easy."
"I'll do whatever it takes," Regina replied stepping up to her with glistening eyes. "I mean it. My life has been so empty since I chose this life. Since I made you leave. I tried to tell myself that this life would eventually fit, but it doesn't and it never will. I need meaning Emma."
"What about your parents?"
Regina rolled her eyes, "oh please, I'm an embarrassment to them for choosing to relocate and for not trying to make my way up the chain. I haven't talk to my father in months, my mother in almost a year."
"Ok," Emma replied, still trying to digest what was happening, "there is one more issue."
"What?"
"I'm on probation genius."
"Oh right, that's why you were really here?"
Emma laughed. There really wasn't anything else to do but laugh. A half hour ago she was pulling up to the Probation Office, dreading this meeting and praying she could get through the year without slipping up. Then all of a sudden, one surprise happened after another. These things just didn't happen to her.
"I have an idea," Regina said taking another step up to her, their noses now grazing, "but first I need to know."
"Know what?"
Regina reached out with both hands this time, taking Emma's face and brushing over her soft cheeks. She began to lean in, but hesitated. Emma thought this was all a dream, was Regina really here? Or was she so alone these days she made this all up in her head. But when Regina began to fall back, afraid Emma wasn't going to take this leap with her, reality came jetting back in. Emma grabbed Regina's hips and yanked her body back into hers. "Oh no you don't. No more running."
Regina closed her eyes and let out the air she had stored away for years, finally able to release it all and become who she always wanted to be, her own person. Their mouths met for the first time in years and it took all the strength Emma had not to push her back on the desk and show Regina everything else she had been missing. They stayed in each others arms for awhile afterwards, afraid to let each other go, terrified that they would both evaporate into the air. But it was real. Their once forbidden romance was breaking free. However, they would have to wait for a few more months before actually be together. Regina put in her resignation, found Emma a suitable P.O. she trusted, then located the perfect one-room beach house in Venice Beach where they could finally be free together. It wasn't going to be easy, but as long as they had each other they would make it work.