Magical Me
By Publicola

Published: 8-6-12
Updated: 6-9-13

Of Pensieve and Post

I was beginning to suspect that the imbecility of wizards was contagious.

When I'd first fomented my brilliant plan, I hadn't paused to think. Seven years of memory, however compressed by a pensieve, would still take a ridiculous amount of time to watch.

Each of the core classes were scheduled twice during the week: one single-period, one double-period. Each period was 45 minutes long. Thus, each week, students would spend two and a quarter hours in class. There are 52 weeks in a year. Subtract breaks for Christmas (3 weeks), Easter (1 week), finals (1 week) and summer (10 weeks), and you have 37 weeks of school. 37 weeks, times 2.25 hours, equals 83.25 hours of class per year.

Even with the ten-to-one time acceleration of a pensieve, that's still 8 hours 20 minutes of real time to observe a single year of classes.

Damn.

Of course, bless his tiny goblin soul, Filius had decided to go a step beyond my original request. As he copied and extracted the memories, he informed me that I would not only have memories of his classes, but of his interactions with staff and certain students outside of class.

It was a veritable gold mine of memories. But, as with any gold mine, it would take immense time and patience to fully pan out. There's a reason California gold miners were called 'squatters': that's how they spent most of their time.

As I watched Filius fill and label vial after vial of memory, I realized the immensity of my plan. Even if I were to drop everything but this, it would still take me another week at least. I hastily extended an invitation for Filius to rejoin me the next day, and however many days after that until we finished reviewing the memories.

I hardly dared imagine he'd accept, yet he did, to my sincere astonishment. It struck me: how much time was he willing to volunteer, to ensure I would be a competent teacher! Even the Lockhart side of me felt humbled by this.

As I had made a career out of memories, for better or worse, I had an impressive set of collector vials. However, at Filius' prodigious pace, I soon found myself running out. I reassured him that I'd send Glitzy to purchase more tomorrow, and he set the filled vials aside. Preparing the pensieve, he waved me inside.

I felt a twirling sense of disorientation, before I found myself standing in the Great Hall of Hogwarts, the tables lined with students and staff. As the massive front doors swung open with a bank, I realized that this was the Welcoming Feast, and Professor McGonagall was leading in first years.

Filius and I stood off to the side as the new students took their place near the front. As the Sorting Hat did its little song and dance, Filius pointed out a few familiar faces, and as Minerva called them up for Sorting I was able to match a few more.

James Potter carried himself like a little aristocrat, it was true. It could hardly be otherwise. His father Charlus was Head of House Potter, descended from the legendary Peverells, while his mother Dorea was the youngest daughter of the Head of House Black, Cygnus II. The Potter family was practically the definition of old money, and it showed.

And yet… even in the few hours he'd spent on the Hogwarts Express, he had already surrounded himself with a clique of outcasts. The first was his cousin Sirius, scion of House Black, who by eleven was already considered a disappointment to the family. When I saw his delighted grin at being sorted into Gryffindor, I knew it was only a matter of time before he would be blasted off the Family Tree entirely. Next among the Mauraders was Remus Lupin, sired by the werewolf Fenrir Greyback at the age of six. He looked so withdrawn it was hard to imagine he would later be best mates with the brash and impulsive Sirius, yet already he was standing by James' side. Finally there was the skittish half-blood Peter Pettigrew, middle child of a low-status low-income family, whose sorting into Gryffindor seemed inconceivable to me. He was frightened of practically everything! Yet these were the people James had surrounded himself with.

No, James knew he had status. But he genuinely cared for those who had none.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, and indeed standing as far away from James as possible, was the dour figure of Severus Snape. I was slightly surprised to see him standing apart from Lily Evans, before Filius explained what had happened on the train. James had seen Lily on the train and, instantly smitten, had tried to chat her up. Snape had tried to make him leave by insulting his family; Sirius defended his friend in his usual brash manner, and Snape had tossed out another insult, this time casting aspersions on Gryffindor. Lily, at this point disgusted with the lot of them, had left to find another compartment.

Lily would soon be reconciled with Snape: they had been best friends for several years, and she had a lot of sympathy for the boy who'd been raised in an abusive home. It was this loyalty to her friend that made her less forgiving and more eager to contend with the snobbish Potter boy. It would be many years before James could overcome that first impression.

Lily herself was standing in rapt attention beside another girl, an Alice Fortescue who was sorted to Hufflepuff. I didn't take much note of this, until Filius explained that she was the future Mrs. Longbottom, Neville's mother. I kept my eye out for Frank, Neville's father, but didn't find him until near the end of the memory, when I spotted him sitting among the Gryffindor Second Years.

Filius also pointed out where Snape had sat at the Slytherin table upon being Sorted. Being an unknown half-blood, he was for the moment on the outside looking in. But what he was 'looking in' towards was a conversation between Evan Rosier, Wilfred Avery, and Vincent Mulciber. Those three were the sons of Dillus Rosier, Caddoc Avery, and Weyland Mulciber, respectively – the earliest supporters of Tom Riddle, and founding members of the Knights of Walpurgis long before they became known as Death Eaters. Those three first years were born into families that belonged to Lord Voldemort, and they knew they would follow their fathers' leads.

I could already tell where this was going. Such cohesion and unity of purpose would be incredibly attractive to a child like Snape, who had grown up abused and largely friendless. Sure enough, by the end of the conversation it was clear Snape was looking at them as role models. He was already starting to mimic their behavior! The results of this, especially as it would affect his friendship with Lily, would not be seen until Fifth Year, but it was clear the die was already cast.

Filius also pointed out the members of the staff. Minerva, Pomona, Hagrid, Slughorn, and Filius' memory-self were all there, as was Dumbledore on his golden throne. The rest I didn't recognize. A few of them remained on the staff to the present day, such as Silvanus Kettleburn (Care of Magical Creatures), Bathsheda Babbling (Ancient Runes), and Aurora Sinistra (Astronomy). But most of the unknowns had long since retired. Lauren Wakefield had Arithmancy, Blenheim Stalk taught Muggle Studies, Friedrich Savage taught Defense Against the Dark Arts (he would return to the Auror Force the next year, where his son would later follow) and the celebrated Cassandra Vablatsky was teaching Divination, though she would retire in 1980, in time for that damnable prophecy from Sybil Trelawny.

Filius had decided that it'd be best to adjourn for the night, and get some sleep before tackling the entirety of First Year the next day. He simply wanted to introduce me to the various students and staff that would feature strongly in his memories. So, after nearly four hours within the pensieve (though less than half-hour of real time) we exited and I bade him farewell as he left by the Floo.

The first thing I did the next morning was to check the post, and sure enough I had received several letters of note.

Gilderoy,

Thought to drop you a quick note after meeting with the goblins. As expected, they're stonewalling on the Potter account. However, the managers I met would almost certainly fold if pressured by one of the stronger clans. Ragnok's is one of the strongest, and from what you told me about meeting with him, he should be easily persuaded to cooperate. Goblins hate to have debts weighing over them.

I'll contact you again after meeting with Crouch, and if I learn anything new on this front.

Cresswell

Amelia also sent me a brief update, saying she'd met with Hestia yesterday evening. The junior Auror had been quite shaken by what she'd seen, but recovered enough to put together a course of action. Amelia had been impressed. She drafted a memo for Thicknesse reassigning Jones to report directly to her. I responded.

Amelia,

Thank you for informing me of your conversation with Ms. Jones. I hope to meet with her shortly, and with your permission will discuss her plans for addressing the situation.

There is another concern I must raise. If indeed Harry Potter is being abused, then one wonders why no adult at Hogwarts brought the issue forward. More specifically, such a failure to report would mean that Madame Pompfrey is in direct violation of her oaths as Healer.

I think we need to involve someone from St. Mungo's, a healer we can trust to document the abuse as well as deal with the forsworn Pompfrey. If the school nurse is removed, then she will need to be replaced, and who better than by a healer already in our confidence?

I await your reply,

Gilderoy Lockhart

Finally, I received a response from Mrs. Abbott on behalf of herself and Mrs. Finch-Fletchley. They thanked me profusely for my suggestion of a Hogwarts Parent-Teacher Alliance, and invited me to meet with them and a few other parents they knew. I hastened to reply, suggested that we meet on the 13th, the day after Slughorn's dinner party.

After breakfast, Filius stepped through the Floo and we began our whirlwind tour of First Year.

Filius was… phenomenal. Lockhart hadn't paid much attention during his Hogwarts years, but now I could definitively say Filius was easily the best teacher I'd ever seen in action. His instruction in Charms was unmatched, and it seemed that every moment of silence in the memory was filled by the running commentary of his current self. I might have been annoyed had I not been scrambling to keep track of everything I was learning.

I could easily see why Lily Evans was a favorite among the staff. She reminded me a little of Hermione, though she had better social skills and thus managed to surround herself with equally enthusiastic learners like Alice. She and her study group were a genuine delight to watch. Several times Filius remarked how their incisive questions had actually helped him better understand the concept he was presenting.

I was rather stunned to discover that the Mauraders were nearly as studious as she was. It turns out the group was not primarily oriented around pranks. That was Sirius' passion, and he dragged the others along for the ride. Rather, it was school-work that was their raison d'etre. I should have guessed. Anyone capable of becoming animagi while still in their teens, or able to enchant an object like the Marauder's Map, was clearly more than a little gifted.

I found it quite amusing to watch Lily as she was constantly stymied by James' demonstrated intelligence in class.

Of course, it was even more amusing to see their interactions out of class. James had clearly been pampered as a child, though he was nowhere near the level of someone like Draco Malfoy. But anytime he got too big for his britches, Lily would swoop in to deflate his ego. Poor kid – James wasn't exactly unarmed in a battle of wits, but pitted against such a girl, he didn't stand a chance. And that's not even to mention his obvious infatuation with her.

From those not-class memories I noticed that Dumbledore paid considerable attention to the Prewett brothers, Fabian and Gideon, mentioning them or awarding special points during various Feasts throughout the year. I wondered what games he was playing with their lives – Harry couldn't have been the first – and considered the cost the Prewett twins had ultimately paid. It was a sobering thought.

After the first two weeks of class we withdrew from the pensieve for a breather. We had been viewing nearly five hours of memory, though not even a half-hour had elapsed of real time. This was a considerable relief to me. By rights I should have been tired and hungry, yet my body was hardly troubled. I had worried that I'd need to eat and relieve myself according to time spent inside the pensieve. This was not the case: only my mind was affected by the time acceleration.

We got into a pattern. Every two weeks we'd withdraw. Filius would remove, label and store the memory we'd just watched, while I practiced the charms he had covered. I had to explain that I wanted to refresh my muscle memory for each one; after that, he kept his silence on my practice. Then back into the memories.

As for academics, First Year Charms began and ended with an overview of basic wand movements: the well-known swish, the well-loved flick, and other notables like the twirl, whirl, dash, slash, jab, tap, and dip. The initial progression of charms that were taught was primarily a function of their complexity. The first charm taught, for instance (Lumos), required only a single wand movement, while Wingardium Leviosa (introduced six weeks later, around Halloween) required two. Thus, each discrete movement was applied by practicing various simple charms.

We took brief breaks for lunch and dinner, but at last it was time for Filius to depart.

Before retiring to bed, I placed my wand at my temple and enhanced my memories of the day.

"Tempus." The time was 9:22pm.

I had more post awaiting me the next morning.

Mr. Lockhart,

I had no sooner returned home from my meeting with Madame Bones than I saw your note asking me about that meeting. It would be a pleasure to meet with you: perhaps you'd like to join me for tea sometime next week? Let me know a day that will work for you.

Hestia

I dashed off a quick reply suggesting we meet on the afternoon of Saturday the 15th.

Amelia also wrote me, listing the names of a few respected healers at St. Mungo's. One in particular caught my eye.

Amelia,

I'd suggest Andromeda Tonks. I understand her husband is a muggleborn lawyer, and her daughter is one of your Auror Trainees. If they are trustworthy, all of them would be most helpful.

Gilderoy

Finally, I received a note from Arthur, asking if I'd made any progress on the cursed item Malfoy had slipped into Ginny's school things.

Arthur,

As you probably know your daughter had not yet unpacked her school things, which is most fortunate as the object in question seems to radiate dark magic. I have not yet diagnosed the curses placed on it, though at least one is a compulsion. I believe it would be best to involve a professional curse breaker on this matter. If you don't mind, I understand your eldest son works for Gringotts in that capacity. What is the best way of contacting him for assistance?

Gilderoy

Filius rejoined me and we moved to the room containing my pensieve.

The previous day I had sent Glitzy out to purchase a new cabinet to store memories. He had returned with a marvel. It was a black-and-gold lacquer cabinet with glass doors in front. However, when I swung them open for the first time, they became opaque, and I saw on the back side of each a catalog of the nearly hundred separate shelves the cabinet contained. Each shelf could be labeled and magically selected, at which point the shelves would move up or down until the selected one was in the center. I wasn't sure of the physics of it, but I'm pretty sure it involved an undetectable extension charm on the top and bottom panels.

At any rate, we stored the previous day's memories on a shelf of their own (labeled "1971"). This completed, we reentered the pensieve.

The second year proved much the same as the first. Filius remained excellent, Lily remained studious, the Marauders remained delightful, the Prewett twins remained favored. I did notice a few subtle shifts, however.

Sirius had finally recruited his friends to join him in a series of innocuous but extremely clever school-wide pranks. It was at Halloween that the Marauders first made their presence known to the school, though they had not yet assumed their animagus-names. Their pranking career debuted to applause by the students and hidden smiles by the staff. Filius confided that it hadn't taken long for any of the staff to connect the anonymous pranksters to the four Gryffindor boys.

I also noticed that Lily had begun to warm up to James and his friends, if only because they were the only other Gryffindors to take their homework seriously. She even sat beside Remus on occasion, considering him the least offensive of the group, though I wondered if she'd began to put the pieces together on Lupin's condition. The détente may not have extended outside the classroom, but James took it as a sign of hope.

As for the the class itself, by Second Year most students' repertoire of wand movements were sufficiently developed to begin learning charms by category: for instance, by area of effect.

The first type of charm is exemplified by Lumos: the effect is tied to the wand itself. Simple enough, except how many would realize that the shield charm Protego, or Dumbledore's awesome fire-whip in Half-Blood Prince, would fall into the same category?

A second category involves those charms that produce effects in a straight line from the tip of the wand. These include most jinxes and hexes, as well as any charm that requires careful aiming, though the precise area of effect depends on the spell.

The third category involves those charms that do not require careful pointing. These are permitted a much more generous area of effect, though still usually contingent on either the direction of the wand-tip or of the caster's line-of-sight.

Of course, Flitwick couldn't make it easy for everyone and just explain this from the beginning. Instead, he emphasized the commonalities and differences of each charm in their respective lessons, so that his students could draw the requisite connections themselves, usually by mid-Spring of their second year.

Flitwick helpfully informed me that this simpler outline prepared students for another on a far grander scale, with details that wouldn't be fully fleshed out until near the time of their OWLs.

After nearly 9 hours of real time, and countless hours of memories, we withdrew for the last time and Filius returned to his Hogwarts quarters. I was mentally and physical exhausted, even with the time difference. I changed quickly and collapsed into bed. It had been a fantastically productive day, but this was not a schedule I was looking forward to keeping.

The next morning found me slightly stymied. It was a Sunday: where do wizards go to church?

I wasn't sure about the purebloods – I wouldn't have been surprised if they followed the old pagan rites – but surely the muggleborn would retain some attachment to their families' faith. Roughly 30% of British citizens went through the motions of belonging to the church of England, attending Christmas Eve and Easter Sunday services at least. A little over 2% were regular attendees. Britain did not have nearly as religious a population as one would find in America, but nothing to sneeze at.

So where are the churchs? Were there religious services offered at Hogwarts or Hogsmeade – and if not, why not?

Dressing in one of the few muggle outfits in my attire – and yes, being muggleborn I knew not to dress in the parody of muggle clothing worn by certain witless wizards – I ate a quick breakfast and Flooed to the Leaky Cauldron. I knew I had a bit of money left over from my earlier jaunt to Vauxhall Road, so I called down a cab and asked him where the nearest Catholic Church was.

He gave me directions to the Corpus Christi on Maiden Lane, easily within walking distance.

I returned around lunchtime, and grabbed a bite at the Leaky Cauldron. It was rather obnoxious, getting stared at by elderly witches, but it was good to be out of doors again.

I had received several letters since yesterday. Mrs. Abbott wrote to confirm the time and date of our meeting, as did Miss Hestia Jones. Arthur responded and said that the best way to reach Bill was through the goblins, as you never knew when he might be in the midst of a project. I scribbled a quick reply, then wrote a longer note for Cresswell.

Dirk,

I find myself in need of a curse breaker – I'll tell you the story later. Could you write to Ragnok and set up a meeting between myself and one of their Egyptian curse breakers, a Bill Weasley? If he asks, you can inform him that concerns my last words to him after our meeting.

I'm much obliged to you; unlike the goblins, I don't mind so much.

Gilderoy

For the rest of the day I relaxed, enjoying a few books out of my collection. I knew I wouldn't have much time to study the Muggle side of things, but ignorance was weakness and my curiosity was piqued, so I flipped through a few of the texts I'd picked up on my trip to Winstanley's Bookstore.

I resumed the frenetic pace the next morning. Cresswell had written back:

Mr. Lockhart,

I met with Crouch, and he seemed quite enthusiastic about our restructuring proposal. His read on the politics of it were much the same as yours: no doubt the Blood Purists would object strenuously, but the Chief Warlock's pro-sentient stance would more than compensate. When I left his office he was already setting up meetings with various Ministry officials. As for Mockridge, it is no secret that he is nearing retirement, so Crouch was amenable to your idea of moving him to a ceremonial position while I take the helm of this office. I will continue to work with him, but do you have any suggestions for other allies who might help push this through?

I have passed along your request to Ragnok to meet with their Curse Breaker, along with our request for assistance regarding the Potter will. I made sure to make mention of the potential restructuring, emphasizing your role particularly. By presenting the requests in the context of additional favors done, I am confident Ragnok will feel his debt to you not yet repaid. This is perhaps the only way to develop a working relationship with the goblins, by leveraging favors to ensure they remain amenable, and develop sufficient familiarity to overcome their contempt for wizard-kind.

I will pass along their response when I receive it.

Cresswell

I responded with my thanks and encouragement, and let him know I'd ask around to see who else might be willing to work with us.

Amelia had also written, informing me that she would be meeting with Mrs. Tonks that evening. I replied thanking her for the update. I also informed her of my work with Cresswell on the potential restructuring, asking for her support and suggestions of others who might work for such a proposal.

Filius arrived around mid-morning, and we entered the pensieve together. Immediately it was clear to me that something had changed. The very atmosphere felt different, somehow more weighted.

Filius soon explained: their previous Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Caradoc Dearborn, had disappeared during a Death Eater raid over the summer, and his body was never recovered. Dearborn had been one of the frontline fighters in the Order of the Phoenix, and his loss was keenly felt by all. His disappearance had driven home the reality of war to many students, especially James Potter.

Yet, as the memories continued, it was clear that even that was not a sufficient explanation. Even after the Marauders had regained their usual energy and enthusiasm, they have grown more directed, focused, and cohesive of a group.

Then I remembered: it was during third year that the others had discovered Lupin's lycanthropy, and made the decision to become animagi so he wouldn't have to suffer alone. The sheer intensity of their work in class was astonishing. They were already some of the most driven and resourceful students of their age, but with the added incentive of looking after a friend, they really took it to another level. Even Lily seemed to notice, and began to seat beside Lupin more regularly. She had almost certainly figured it out before the rest, but wanted to ensure that the werewolf felt welcomed by others.

Filius' instruction remained stellar, as usual, and I continued to learn my old Professor's running commentary, from both his past and present self.

The next morning I received my response from Amelia.

Gilderoy,

Though I do not fully see the benefits of the restructuring you outline, you have won yourself a bit of trust, so I will offer my support – contingent on a fuller explanation of the advantages than you provided in your last letter.

As for other supporters, I think Cresswell ought to speak with Elphias Doge and Tiberius Ogden on the Wizengamot. Doge is an old school-fellow of Dumbledore, and serves as his second-in-command and occasional proxy. He is responsible for ensuring the Traditionalist bloc shows up and votes in line with Dumbledore's suggestions. As for Ogden, he is a highly respected member who has on several occasions departed from Dumbledore's lead. He is the key to any neutral voters, and his support could throw the balance for the rest of the Wizengamot.

I met with Mrs. Tonks and shared the memory with her. She is determined to provide her support, though is unsure of the particulars. If you could speak with her, I'm sure she would be grateful for your help.

Amelia

I thanked her profusely, and drafted a quick note for Cresswell passing the information along. Doge apparently filled the same role as that of a "Party Whip" in the American political system, and in many cases it is the trusted second-in-command who moves the leader, just as the neck moves the head. I did add an emphatic side-note that in his meeting with Doge, Cresswell was not to mention my involvement in the proposal. I wanted to fly under Dumbledore's radar for the moment, and Doge was far too close for my liking. As for Ogden, if Amelia's information was correct he would be a cornerstone of any neutral faction I might foster, and for that reason alone would be indispensable.

As Amelia suggested, I also penned a quick note for Andromeda, suggesting we meet sometime later in the week.

Filius arrived and we settled in for another exhausting day in the pensieve.

If Third Year had felt slightly darker, Fourth Year felt positively ominous. Death Eater attacks had again ramped up over the summer, and the DADA post was again vacated by the loss of life.

It was also clear that something had shifted in the power structure at Hogwarts, as Flitwick bore witness to a number of bullying incidents that plagued the younger generation of 'mudbloods,' 'half-bloods,' and 'blood-traitors.' From several, it was clear that Snape was in fact the ringleader of the attacks, though it was unclear how he, a half-blood, had ascended to the top of the snake pit when his year-mates were the very definition of pureblood elite.

Needless to say, James and the other Marauders had noticed the rash of bullying, and their retaliatory pranking took on a new and darker edge. Several times Filius was obliged to punish them severely for a dangerous prank, even though he knew that their target had been a particularly vicious bully who had simply escaped notice or censure by the other staff.

It was this year that they debuted their animagus names: their studies had shown them their forms, though they were still working on manifesting them. While in past years, the debut of"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs" would have been an occasion for cheerful and colorful pranks, this year it was a practical necessity. Security through anonymity: the bullies can't retaliate if they don't know who they're up against.

As Snape's role as ringleader became clear, more and more of the Marauder's wrath was turned on him. It was a particularly humiliating prank involving ostensibly innocuous first year charms that led to Snape diving headlong into his Charms studies, determined to never be caught so unawares.

It struck me, as we neared the end of the evening, that in many ways Snape's path to power had mirrored Tom Riddle's. They both entered Hogwarts as relatively unknown half-bloods in a house of elitist purebloods. They were both friendless and abused (though Riddle's case is unclear), but let their suffering turn them into bullies. They had both fought their way to prominence by dominating their age-mates, and thereafter had a cadre of purebloods sworn to fight at their backs.

And to cinch the parallels, they had both constructed high-sounding pseudonyms out of their names: Riddle had become Lord Voldemort, while Snape became the Half-Blood Prince.

Had Voldemort not arisen that decade as the latest Dark Lord, it is entirely possible Snape would have taken that mantle for himself. That outcome might still result after Voldemort was defeated.

But at last the memories of Fourth Year had concluded, and the situation was clear to us both. Hogwarts had begun to resemble more and more the war that ravaged the country without.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Responses to selected reviews are posted on my forum. You can find the link on my profile, or type in:

fanfiction . net / forum / Stories-by-Publicola / 150993