CHAPTER TWO-

The next day Bilbo woke me shortly after he had gotten up. I had been having dreams of the weekend that I married my wife when the hobbit shook me awake.

"What the fuck," I screamed as I sat up in the bed that was generally kept for guests, "Why the hell did you scare me like that!"

I saw the look on Bilbo's face and realized that I must have said and done something that frightened him. "Sorry 'bout that," I muttered, "Bad habit of my military days to come up ready for a fight." "Oh! It's quite alright my friend. I thought perhaps that you would like to accompany me to the 'Green Dragon' for second breakfast," he waved off my reaction to being shaken awake.

It didn't take me long before I was dressed, and we were on our way. Bilbo received a few "hellos" and "good mornings" while his greeters gave me many a wary, sideways glances. I can understand their misgivings about my being there, but it didn't make it any easier to think about. It was starting to get under my skin when we arrived at the 'Green Dragon.'

"Good morning lads," a pretty strawberry-blonde hobbit gal greeted us. "A very good morning to you too Miss Cotton," Bilbo blushed. "Your table is ready as always Bilbo...and please," the hobbit lass smiled, "Call me Pansy."

Bilbo turned a deep shade of red as we were seated at his table. I took the chance to look around while he ordered a hobbit sized breakfast for us.

The well-worn and scrubbed tables practically shone in the bright sunlight streaming through the windows. Rings of cobalt-colored smoke spun quietly above the heads of the hobbit men that sat there eyeing me suspiciously. The bar looked seamless, and showed that it had been built to withstand the forces of time. Wrought-iron chandeliers held candles (some of which were still smoking) that stood still, their dancing flames having been extinguished.

"Here we are lads," Pansy Cotton said as she placed what looked like enough food for six people on our table, "Enjoy!" Her cheerful tone pulled me from my observations. "Dig in," Bilbo said through a mouthful of hash browns, I want to show you the market next."

The breakfast was amazing, and I had to waddle out of the "Dragon" after a couple of half-pints of ale and a many course meal. The rest of the morning was spent perusing the market and smoking on my vape cig (a Sentinel Mod and Tobh Atty RDA-Rebuildable Dripping Atomizer). Our morning at the market ended with Bilbo buying me a fishing kit, parchment, quills, ink, and a journal to record my experiences here. That was three months ago (three months before I met the imposing being that was Gandalf the Grey).

CHAPTER THREE-

Three months after I had arrived in Hobbiton, I sat in front of Bag End with Bilbo, smoking. "...the next thing I knew," Bilbo laughed, "my poor mother was standing in the kitchen, caked in flour." I laughed so hard that I couldn't breathe. Bilbo had just told me a story about a prank he had played on his mother.

"If memory serves me correctly," an amused voice rumbled, "she didn't allow you to watch my fireworks on 'Midsummer's Eve' that year." We both looked up to find a tall, thin, basso-voiced, grey clad man.

"H-hello," Bilbo stuttered. Can I help you?" I pretended to be uninterested in their conversation and began to study the garden more intensely than I should have. Bilbo's "Good Mornings" to Gandalf, and the wizard's subsequent irritation was truly entertaining. Gandalf tried as hard as he could to get Bilbo to join him in an adventure, and the hobbit completely refused. Gandalf finally decided that It would be good for Bilbo to accompany him on this "adventure," and pretended to leave as I followed the hobbit inside for afternoon tea.

"Who does Gandalf think he is," Bilbo huffed, "trying to volunteer me for an adventure that I want no part of." "He is a wizard my friend," I replied, "He does as he pleases. I doubt that you will dissuade him from this." "Maybe so," the kettle over the fire drew the stressed hobbit's attention, "but I will be damned if I go on his blasted adventure!"

I pulled my Vape device out and filled it with as much juice as the cotton wick and juice well could hold. It was fascinating to me that my e-juice never ran out and battery was always as strong as it was brand new. This was a blessing I was glad for (especially since I only had one other mod and RDA on me that still worked).

"What kind of pipe is that," Bilbo finally asked me. After exhaling a massive cloud of vapor I said, "This is called a vape (short for vapor) or e-cigarette." The ensuing explanation of it all and about electricity was punctuated by questions from Bilbo. "...So after agreeing to quit smoking, I switched to devices similar to this one," I finished. "That is quite interesting. If it is alright, I should much like to try it," Bilbo finally gave away his intention for asking.

I handed Bilbo my backup and explained how to work it. With a dubious look, he handed me his back up pipe, and took a long draw off of my vape. The small hobbit's reaction was priceless. Bilbo coughed and sputtered as a cloud five times the size of what most "Cloud Chasers" could produce.

"Th-that was strong! It wasn't as strong as pipe weed, but enough to have an effect," he said as he took another lung hit. Now that he had gotten his hit and I had my fun he had me try some "Old Toby." I coughed, sputtered, sneezed, hiccoughed, and got light-headed.

All fun aside, Bilbo pulled some fish we'd bought at the market out and cooked us a quick meal. We'd just sat down when there was a knock at the door. "Who the devil could that be," Bilbo grumbled as he headed to the front door. I Made my way to the sitting room to watch the fun unfold as I heard a Scottish Brogue say, "Dwalin, at your service."

CHAPTER FOUR-

Bilbo watched Dwalin with a sour expression as he watched the hungry dwarf shove fist full after fist full of food in his gob. I was trying to remain inconspicuous and laughed quietly as I watched this scene.

The disgusted hobbit came in to talk to me, but by the time he got to the sitting room I said, "You might want to answer the door." He was confused, but decided to check the door. "Damn it all; another dwarf! What in the bloody..," the hobbit was cut off by the dwarf saying; "Balin, at your service master hobbit." Bilbo thundered through his home and stood in front of me sputtering, "How...you...dwarves...know..." "I heard him coming up the walk," I lied. He obviously didn't believe me, but decided to accept my answer anyway.

Having read Tolkien's books, I settled back into the comfortable chair by the fire, and drifted of to sleep (knowing what would soon transpire). I was beginning to dream about home, wondering how worried my wife must have been, and heard a woman's voice in my dream. "You will return home to your home and your wife, but now is not the time. It is Eru's will that you assist the dwarves on their journey. Once you have completed the task that Eru has set for you, you will be returned home. Stray even a little and you will never see your home again," the voice said.

Waking with a start, I saw a blurry shape before me and took a swing. A large hand caught me by the wrist and set it down calmly. "So," a voice deeper than Christopher Lee or James Earl Jones said, "You're the 'Other Worlder' that Gandalf told me about. You're needed in the next room." Finally coming into focus, the face of whom I assumed was Thorin Oakenshield was mere inches from my face. Grunting, I stood and followed him into the other room where the entire party of dwarves was arguing over how they could complete their mission with their small numbers.

"SILENCE! EVERYONE QUIET," Thorin bellowed. The room went as silent as the grave. "We must find a way to get inside first. The way was lost with my father when-when he disappeared," Thorin finished. Gandalf gave a small grin and said, "That is not entirely true," producing a key and a map. "How did you come by these," the dwarf prince demanded to know. "They were entrusted to me by your father. They belong to you now," Gandalf said as he handed an amazed looking Thorin.

The discussion turned to burglars, dragons, and contracts. I was sipping on the slightly stronger mead Bilbo had brewed a decade before when I heard the hobbit say, "Nope," before fainting to the floor.

I sat by the fireplace in the main sitting room with the dwarves twenty minutes later while Gandalf sat with Bilbo, trying to convince him to undertake this mission. The dwarves were spread about the sitting room, smoking their pipes. A fire crackled and gave off a soft orange glow as Thorin stared into its depths.

An almost imperceptible tune was being hummed by Bofur and Thorin as I finally came out of my silent reverie. I instantly knew the song, but waited for Thorin to begin singing.

"Far over the 'Misty Mountains' cold, to dungeons deep, and caverns old," Thorin began (with the other dwarves and finally myself joining in), "We must away, ere break of day, to find our long forgotten gold. The pines were roaring, on the height, the winds were moaning in night. The fire was red, it flaming spread. The trees like torches blazed with light."

Thorin gave me a suspicious look as the song ended and asked to speak to me outside. "How do you know that song," he demanded as he squared off for a fight. Sighing, I replied, "You already know that I am from another world. Did Gandalf also tell you that in the world I am from the story of 'Middle Earth' is just that? A man in my world wrote about the 'Silmarils,' your quest to reclaim Erebor, and what will happen six decades from now." "You lie," he growled. "I assure you that I do not. I have no reason to lie to you, and I am a horrible lier anyway," I replied through a clenched jaw.

"I will accept your explanation for now," Thorin grumbled, "but at the first sign of treachery on your part and I will remove your head from your shoulders myself."

Pondering whether or not the dwarf was bluffing I said, "Agreed. I assure you that I am trustworthy Thorin Oakenshield, and in time you will come to see I speak the truth." We went inside and the imposing dwarf ordered us all to sleep after I signed the contract for the adventure.