Ever After
Disclaimer: I do not own Mai Hime.
Warning: Fluff.
Chapter 6
Warning: I wanted to make it angsty, but I failed miserably. LOL.
A/N It is kind of explanatory chapter. I wonder if Natsuki's motives are convincing. Also – just to let you know - there are some references to the first chapter.
Oh, and your mind shouldn't blow up because of my poor English since ManiazAzn kindly beta-ed this chapter.
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The night was dark and cold. Natsuki fidgeted in another failed attempt of finding a cozy position. She couldn't stop wondering how so expensive couch could be so uncomfortable. She sighed heavily and went back to stare at the ceiling.
This was unfair. How Shizuru dared to sleep soundly in their bedroom while she suffered a pain, both mental and physical. How this woman could be so cold? Natsuki sighed again. Her plan was perfect, right? She had put so much effort in it, the months of work and planning. She had chosen the perfect timing to deliver her decision. She was sure, so very sure that Shizuru would be delighted. This was Shizuru who always restrained herself and waited for Natsuki to be ready for any key decision in their lives. This was Shizuru who was always happy to find that Natsuki matured enough to move on. This was Shizuru who always pleased her beloved. So how it happened that this time they ended with not being in speaking terms and Natsuki sleeping on the couch?
Natsuki felt like drinking some water. She got up angrily kicking away a blanket and went to the kitchen. She was on the edge, she knew it. She missed her bed; she missed her living pillow, her steady breath, her warm body, her soft voice. She knew she would give up pretty soon. She clenched her teeth and poured some cold water into a glass. She gulped it at one go hoping that a sudden cold would calm her.
How – when did she get this bright idea? Actually they had never talked about kids before. So how she could be so sure that Shizuru would like this concept? Was it that whenever Shizuru was around kids Natsuki felt her girlfriend was beaming?
With growing fascination Natsuki had observed how features of the brunette had softened, her graceful movements had become even more tender, her voice – calmer in the presence of children. It was not common sight since they had rare occasions to meet any kids, but Natsuki couldn't be wrong: Shizuru liked kids.
Natsuki avoided kids. Not that she didn't like them. She would never admit it, but she was afraid of children. She had no idea how to behave in their presence. To hide her uncertainty she stated that they're annoying loud brats. Only Shizuru could turn them somehow into lovely, cute and charming creatures.
Like the day when they had visited Mai to see her newly born daughter. Natsuki observed from a safe distance Shizuru taking the baby and starting to hum softly to her. The girl quickly fell asleep in a soothing embrace. The chestnut-haired woman noticed a curious look of her partner. She approached Natsuki and asked with a hushed voice if she wanted to hold the little one. The biker refused vigorously, but Shizuru with a soft smile handed her the baby. Natsuki felt her hands shaking, her heart suddenly accelerating. She was afraid to drop this little defenseless being, she never hold a baby before. But Shizuru was by her side, her steady hands firmly supporting the shaky ones. The infant smiled in her sleep, obviously unaffected by the whole operation. Led by Shizuru's hands, Natsuki nestled the baby on her chest. She felt nice warmth radiating from the small body.
"You see, it's easy." She heard a soft whisper of the Kyoto-born. The smell of the baby was alluring; the smell of Shizuru was exciting and Natsuki felt sudden happiness. For a brief moment she debated if she would like to have this kind of happiness of her own. Then the baby woke up and started to cry and was taken away to her mother.
But it was not Shizuru who made her thoughts about kids more common. If not for Alyssa and Midori, Natsuki wouldn't have these ideas.
At the beginning of her work for Searrs duties of the lone wolf hadn't been very complicated. Until Reito had assigned her to the personal data department, she had roamed aimlessly through corridors trying to scare workers away with her death glare. Sometimes it had worked, especially combined with rumors that she had been the girlfriend of this scary bitch from the hell, Fujino Shizuru.
When Natsuki had got instructions and equipment, she took care of her duties much more professionally. She knew how to find and collect data, how to scan people. Reito was delighted. The proper selection of the personnel was a fundamental task.
"Kuga-san is irreplaceable. I have underestimated her." Reito admitted once during one of his casual meetings with Shizuru.
"So have I." The chestnut-haired woman answered absent-mindedly, a little smile dancing on her lips.
Natsuki was living in her little world of investigations until one day Alyssa stood at the door of her office. The lone wolf had a habit of avoiding the girl and her android. They were the great ally to the new foundation, but Natsuki's previous experiences with the pair kept her suspicious, just in any case. So the sight of the young angel entering her kingdom made her a little nervous.
"What do you want?" Natsuki asked harshly to hide her insecurity.
Alyssa also omitted pleasantries. "I need your help in getting access to the First District archives."
"You have Miyu." Natsuki eyed the android surly. "I bet she can hack any database."
"Miyu would hack it already, but the data had survived only in a paper form. They are stored under lock in a place I have no permission to enter." Alyssa looked determined.
"Go to Midori." Natsuki fumed.
"I asked her already. But she is busy. The only person left with access is you." Alyssa pressed.
Natsuki noticed Miyu moving closer, but didn't flinch. "I'm busy too."
Alyssa didn't give up. "If you let me check the archive, in exchange I'll tell you about your mother."
Natsuki froze.
John Smith was an untrusting man with his own goals and the information he had delivered to the biker during the Carnival was never confirmed. But he planted a thorn of insecurity in Natsuki's heart.
Natsuki believed that she managed to cope with the betrayal of her mother. More likely she did everything to forget the painful past. And when she thought she dealt with it for good, Alyssa came with the offer of more pain and disappointment.
Alyssa wasn't cruel. She wanted to find out about her own origin. She matured enough to realize that she had to have DNA donors – she didn't feel like calling these people parents. She became curious who these people might be. She decided to find it out. It wasn't easy since Searrs destroyed most of the data concerning her origin, but she managed to recover files with description of a technology used for her creation and a list of people she should call forebears. All of them were total strangers she never heard about, all but one.
During her search Alyssa realized that her past was connected with Natsuki Kuga. This was a strange feeling – to find somebody related in the camp of her former enemies. She felt a need to know better this person she has known for years but never cared about. But socialization was never her thing, so Alyssa decided that the best way to get to know the biker would be to find an excuse to get Kuga involved in her personal investigation.
She was right, Natsuki took the offer. And left for the most difficult journey of her life: to her past.
The information Natsuki was able to dig out was very incomplete, shattered into small fragments from which it was difficult to reconstruct the past. The First District documents survived only in pieces, the biggest source of Searrs data - Miyu had her memory damaged badly. But still from these tiny scraps Natsuki was patiently composing the history of her mother.
After months of searching, the incomplete, uncertain picture emerged from the fog of the past. Natsuki was never sure if her reconstruction was reliable, but she liked to think that her version was close to truth.
Saeko Kuga had been an excellent scientist. Her research for First District had gone much further than originally intended. Her primal goal had been to find out how awakening of Hime worked.
Dr Kuga knew about Hime festival and the fate of Ikusahime. So when she found out the terrifying truth about her daughter, she was frightened. Saeko wanted to prevent her only child from the fatal fate at any cost. But there was no hope - First District was an old organization upholding the Carnival's rules from ancient times.
And then a miracle happened - a mysterious Searrs Foundation secretly contacted Dr Kuga and made the offer. In exchange for information they promised to stop the Carnival.
Mrs. Kuga accepted the offer. She would do anything to save her child.
After getting what they needed Searrs went quiet for a while. But then they came back and demanded more data. And even more. And then they wanted a Hime. They knew Natsuki was the one. Saeko refused. They got Natsuki's blood instead. But it was not enough. Searrs still pressed. First District got suspicious. Saeko was found out. Suddenly there was no way out. She decided to run away.
Then the accident happened.
Natsuki slipped out of Searrs reach. First District made sure the summer princess would meet her destiny. The task was easy since Natsuki's father, engaged in a new relationship, was not interested in his daughter.
But Searrs didn't give up. With Natsuki's blood they were able to select genes responsible for Hime power. With this after many failed attempts they finally were successful in creation of a fake Hime. This way Alyssa was born.
Natsuki also discovered (or rather was allowed to find out) another revelations.
The first one was a little shocking, but not unexpected. Among people closely cooperating with Searrs the name of Kazahana Mashiro was listed.
The second one was more personal.
The Red Star was an ancient alien technology. A machinery of Obsidian Lord was able to trace and recognize human genes. There were twelve specific lines belonging to Hime descendants. Every three hundred years the Red Star activated the process. A one female from every line with the strongest blood was chosen and her Hime genes were activated, a visible mark on her body being the sign of awakening. Depending on which of twelve lines of Hime a girl represented, she was equipped with a specific element – her weapon and got a Child in respective form.
Alyssa made a little mess in the whole system. She represented in general Natsuki's line of genes, but due to still imperfect technique Searrs used some little parts of the code didn't fit the pattern. The similarity was still close enough to make Alyssa Hime, what meant that when Natsuki was awakened, her line was already taken. But since Alyssa's code had some 'holes' and Natsuki's fit perfectly to the pattern, the biker's code was able to 'squeeze' into the system and Natsuki got her weapon, but in a very limited version.
Just for the entertainment Midori made a simulation of Natsuki's weapon in its whole uncut and impressive glory. She proudly presented the image to both girls.
"You mean," Natsuki's eyes widened at the sight, then focused on Alyssa, her face suddenly pale and voice uncharacteristically calm, "if not for you, I would have had a freaking cannon instead of two tiny pathetic guns?"
"Help." Alyssa breathed weakly and instinctively hided behind Midori, probably the first time in her life feeling actual fear.
"Easy, girls,"Midori smiled widely, "don't forget that if not for Alyssa and Miyu, we would be dead. Thirteenth Hime broke the fate."
Natsuki's gaze softened. "You are right."
Besides when the biker imagined Nao's reaction (all her facial expressions included) after hearing the news, she decided that she much preferred the subject of her Hime weapon to be fast forgotten.
These revelations didn't make Kuga and Alyssa a family, but it was a start for a rather interesting friendship.
As expected the one of the most hyped up about the research was Midori. With exaggerated excitement she was thinking up ways the newfound knowledge could be used.
With all her recklessness, Midori shared her conclusions with her younger co-worker.
"Hey, Kuga, with the help of this advanced Searrs technology you could have a kid with Shizuru." The redhead scientist patted Natsuki's back with a vigor. "This way we can find if two Hime lines will neutralize or consolidate each other when combined. So cool!"
Natsuki's eyes went suddenly dark and dangerous. "We're talking about a child, not a fucking experiment."
"Relax." Midori raised her hands in defense. "Nobody wants to hurt the kid. The Red Star is gone for good. That's why I suggest that you should think about the possibility of having a full family with the one you love. Believe me; a child is worth the entire burden. Why don't you use the chance you got? And it won't hurt anyone if we can gather a little knowledge in the process, for the benefit of the mankind."
At first Natsuki decided that the idea was ridiculous. But the thought of having a baby with Shizuru started to haunt her. At some point she was afraid to fall asleep, because she always had one dream: a cute little girl with burgundy eyes calling her mama.
But these dreams were not unpleasant. In these dreams she felt really good. And this probably scared her the most.
When she couldn't ignore her obsession any longer, she decided to act.
In her nonchalant manner she practically abandoned her office and became the regular guest in the laboratory section. She wanted to check – just in case - if Searrs technology was really effective and safe. She made herself believe that she did it just for entertainment, just to help lab people, just to kill some time since her field of work became almost dead.
She never realized when her little side-research filled her whole schedule.
Obviously Natsuki inherited a passion for laboratory work after her mother. This combined with her natural devotion to whatever goal she had chosen caused pretty impressive effects. Soon Kuga was considered to be one of the best on the field of old Searrs genetic technologies. It was difficult to pretend any longer (also to herself) that her research was just for fun.
Listening to Midori's advice the cobalt-haired woman asked Reito for transfer. Not only her request was approved, she also was promoted and got one of the labs, a team and the position of the leader. Alyssa volunteered to be in her team.
And a one day came when there were no more experiments left since everything was checked and confirmed. If Natsuki wanted to go any further she had to let Shizuru know about her experiments.
The only way to do it was to speak to Shizuru. But Natsuki freaked out. This was the thing she was afraid of the most. She reasoned to herself that her fear was irrational, but it reflected her own doubts. She tried to drown out her insecurity using the craziest methods, but failed.
After a few attempts where she had screwed up royally, she finally found the courage.
It was fun to see Shizuru with her mouth agape, an absolute surprise on her face. It was nice to see her eyes brightening then, filling with moisture. It was breathtaking to see her sincere smile, so full of love and devotion. Yes, definitely it was worth to make such birthday gift to her beloved.
The next day they made a session with Natsuki explaining every detail of her proposition. Everything was fine until Shizuru asked the magical question. "So Natsuki, which one of us will be the mother?"
The blue-haired woman smiled sincerely and answered simply. "Me, of course."
Shizuru raised her brow and asked innocently. "Why is that?"
Natsuki was taken aback by the question. "Is it not obvious? This is my idea so I should take the risk."
Suddenly the Kyoto-born became dead serious. "I think it's obvious that I am maternal material here."
Natsuki lost ability to speak for a moment. She never imagined this to be a problem. "But you are older." Finally she reasoned unsurely.
"Indeed, so it's quite logical that I should be the first one to carry a baby before it's too late for me." Shizuru pointed out with the confidence.
"But I am the better choice since… I'm healthier." Natsuki resisted. Her plan didn't take Shizuru into consideration as the one being pregnant, not when the method they wanted to use was never tested before.
"Why is that? As I recall you caught a cold twice last year."
"But… you had a throbbing throat. And your back hurts!"
"My back is perfectly fine. This little pain you helped me to get rid of was an isolated case."
"Yeah, sure. Another two-day session at the laptop and it will hurt again."
"It won't. I am careful now."
"Besides you are making career, don't you remember? You don't have enough time for your girlfriend, so how you can afford to be pregnant?"
"Are you suggesting something Natsuki?"
"Yes. No. I mean... My job is more flexible."
"But your habits are pretty dangerous."
"Are you telling me I am not suitable for a mother?"
From word to word the innocent conversation turned into a full blown quarrel, then ended without a solution but with a deadly silence.
Not the first time they had a fight, but this time Natsuki felt exceptionally down and irritated by the incident. She expected that confessing to Shizuru would be the most difficult part of her plan. After that she saw only the bright future. The thought that there would be any other problems, not to mention that something so ridiculous would threaten the deal never occurred to her.
For the rest of the day both women avoided each other. When the bedtime came, fuming Natsuki occupied her side of the bed and turned her back on Shizuru.
For the long while they laid in silence, suddenly Natsuki heard a rustle of covers and felt the warm body pressing against her back. A hand sneaked under her shirt and tenderly caressed her hip, then traveled down to her stomach. Delicate fingers started to make lazy circles around her navel. Natsuki felt pleasant warmth spreading through her body, waking her urges; but she decided she still felt too offended to response. A warm breath tickled her neck. She shivered involuntarily. Soft, tender kisses followed, making Natsuki to bit her lip to suppress a moan. She unconsciously closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry." Shizuru whispered in her lover's ear, her voice apologetic. "I didn't want to make you upset." Her hand slowly traversed from Natsuki's stomach to the waistband of her pajama pants, slender fingers skillfully slipped under it. Natsuki's breathe accelerated. The hand stopped in her travel. "So please, say yes."
Natsuki's eyes snapped open. "No." She pushed the hand away. "We won't discuss in this manner."
She recognized Shizuru's sneaky tactic. Every time the older woman realized that winning over Natsuki in an argument was not simple, she used her ultimate weapon – seduction. She was successful many times, since aroused Natsuki was easy to manipulate. Not once Shizuru used this weakness of her lover to gain her end. The only rescue for Natsuki was to retreat on time beyond Shizuru's intoxicating touch.
Thus Natsuki bolted from the bed.
"Where are you going?" Shizuru mocked a pout.
"Couch. To avoid your tricks." Natsuki growled and went to look for spare blankets in the wardrobe.
"As my Natsuki wishes. Come back when you change your mind." Shizuru purred cheerfully with a smug smile on her face.
"I hate you." Natsuki blurted out without meaning it and stuck out her tongue at her girlfriend. Then she turned on her heels and left giggling Shizuru behind.
This way Natsuki found herself in this current awkward position – in the kitchen in the middle of the night trying to get rid of her frustration with a glass of cold water. She was very determined to win the battle, but she didn't take well the tension. It was the fourth lonely night, after the fourth silent day.
Natsuki decided she had enough. She didn't like constant noodles she feed herself now, she didn't like uncomfortable couch, she didn't like the noisy alarm-clock, she didn't like awkward silence when she read newspapers and had to bite her tongue to not make a comment as she used to. Since she caused this situation it was natural that she should end it. She really wanted things to be normal again, even if it meant surrender.
Deciding that she would talk to Shizuru tomorrow, Natsuki put down an empty glass, sighed helplessly and went back to her temporary sleeping place.
Having a baby with Fujino Shizuru wasn't an easy matter.
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Shizuru woke up early. She had some important errands to do, so she didn't waste time. On her way to the bathroom she quietly looked into the living-room. Her cheeky angel with a frown on her face was sleeping snoring softly, curled up around a pillow, a blanket and an alarm-clock abandoned on the floor. Shizuru smiled gently and came closer to cover the woman with the blanket. She noticed that Natsuki was uncharacteristically pale and looked tired. Shizuru felt a sting of remorse, but she assured herself that the reason of Natsuki's bad condition wouldn't last long. She knew Natsuki was very close to surrender. All she had to do was to wait a little longer. Natsuki's determination was touching, but the case was too important to let it go.
Shizuru also checked if the alarm-clock was on – she didn't want Natsuki to be late for work, but due to their differences of opinions lately, Shizuru's personal duty of waking up the log was taken over by the clock.
Natsuki's declaration surprised her greatly. They didn't talk before about the subject – Natsuki really wasn't of the kind that was into kids. This was only one of many obstacles Shizuru could think of. They had busy lives, without any space left for somebody so time consuming like a baby. And even if they made this kind of decision how they would get one? The adoption wasn't a case, not in this country. Other options were unacceptable. Shizuru just didn't imagine any stranger to be a father to her child. And a simple thought about Natsuki having a baby with someone else made her sick. So Shizuru didn't think about children.
But with her confession Natsuki opened the door until now carefully sealed in Shizuru's soul. Through this door all restrained thoughts, forgotten needs, vague feelings and unaware desires flooded outside and occupied mind of the older woman.
Her support for the idea was growing rapidly with every minute. She was surprised how fast she felt absolutely convinced of it. She caught herself planning the future of her family with three members of it taken in account. All these new possibilities were a little overwhelming.
But before she got any further she had to be sure that everything was safe. She didn't want any risk for Natsuki or their baby. She didn't want anybody hunting their child like it happened to young Natsuki. So she arranged a meeting which should help to scatter her worries.
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The place was dark, crowded and stuffy. The air was thick with a cigarette smoke. Shizuru wrinkled her nose at the unpleasant smell, but didn't stop in her track. Her contact was sitting at the bar, drinking beer, looking bored. Shizuru sat next to him ignoring some whistles coming from a group of men sitting at tables.
"Do you always choose so unpleasant places for meetings?" Shizuru complained in the air.
"They're safe. What is your request? " The man cut her off, his voice unfriendly.
"I want you to check on Searrs. Look for everything illegal, secret experiments, something done on the side, without public knowledge."
He eyed her with slight surprise. "Have you informed Kuga-san about your plan?" His eyes pierced through her.
The brunette felt a guilt rising in her, but she suppressed unwelcome feeling "I'm asking questions here, Yamada-san." She reminded him, her tone suddenly cold.
"As you wish ma'am." The man smiled in defense. "It is you who pays here."
Shizuru nodded slightly and smiled charmingly. "So when I can expect any results?"
Yamada finished his beer. "Soon. I'll contact you when I'm ready. "
There was no reason for her to stay at this place any longer, so Shizuru stood up. "I'll take my leave then."
The man didn't look at her as he was busy with calling bartender, so she left.
Have you informed Kuga-sanYamada's words ringed in her head. They hit close to home. Shizuru quickened her pace. She felt uncomfortable. Long time ago she promised herself to never hide anything from Natsuki. Her restrains had made enough damage in the past. And she kept her promise, until now. She had an excuse to keep her plans from Natsuki – they weren't talking to each other; but after meeting with Yamada she had this nagging feeling that such excuse was not enough. I'm getting into trouble for my own request. She thought bitterly. But it didn't have to be this way. All she had to do was go back home and talk to her wife. Enough of this silly game, she promised herself. With the decision made she felt her heart got lighter. Smiling to herself, she headed home.
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Shizuru was late. In normal circumstances Natsuki would call the older woman and asked what had happened. No, in normal circumstances Shizuru would call and say she would be late. But circumstances were not normal so concerned Natsuki was sitting on the couch, nervously flipping through TV channels and glancing every minute at the entrance door.
When she finally decided to make a call the entrance door opened and the familiar silhouette entered the hall. Checking with fast glance that her beloved looked all right, Natsuki pretended to be extremely busy with watching TV.
So she was quite surprised when Shizuru came straight to living room and spoke. "Natsuki, we need to talk."
Natsuki was bewildered. She didn't expect Shizuru to talk to her anytime soon. The urgency in Shizuru's voice surprised the younger woman. The matter had to be really important if Shizuru decided to let her soon-to-be victory pass.
Before the younger woman could react, Shizuru spoke again. "I hired Yamada-san to spy on your organization." She confessed, her voice serious, her eyes expectantly looking into Natsuki's.
Natsuki laughed dryly. "Funny. I told him to do the same."
Shizuru didn't expect such answer. She raised her brows, surprised. "And when did you plan to tell me?" She finally asked with reproach.
Natsuki shrugged. "When I would get results." She looked intently at Shizuru. "But why are you bothered by this?"
Shizuru was silent for a moment, then she answered slowly, a hurt obvious in her voice. "I thought you would tell me."
A sad tone alarmed Natsuki. She didn't want another fight. Shizuru was right. Well, when explaining to her lover the whole deal Natsuki had intended to tell her everything, not skipping any detail. Unfortunately there had been so much to tell that she had forgotten about some events. To be honest the thought that this kind of information would be of great importance never crossed the biker's mind.
"C'mon, I use his services pretty often. That's my job. I didn't know you were interested in every detail concerning it. You also don't inform me about every detail from your workplace." The shorter woman tried to explain herself reasonably.
Shizuru slightly shook her head. "But that is different. It concerns both of us."
"That's why I would tell you when I knew anything." The raven-haired woman pointed out with honesty. "But hey, did he accept your order?" Natsuki asked with curiosity.
"Yes." Shizuru nodded taken aback a little by the question.
The shorter woman smirked mischievously. "That dog!" She muttered under her breath.
Shizuru looked at her questioningly.
Natsuki chuckled. "I'm afraid he used you to be paid twice for the same job." She smiled apologetically, with a glint of amusement flashing in her eyes.
Shizuru blinked. So that's what he meant... And here she was agitated by Yamada's insight and his loyalty to Natsuki, torturing herself with guilt, while the real reason was so simple. She was a smart ass for the whole world but if it came to her beloved sometimes she was so blind.
Natsuki's stomach grumbled loudly breaking the silence. Suddenly the whole tension disappeared. Shizuru giggled. Natsuki flushed in embarrassment. She got up from the couch and flashed Shizuru a bright grin. "I'm hungry. Let's go out to get something to eat."
The raven-haired beauty handed the arm to the taller woman. Shizuru took the offer and she crooked her arm in Natsuki's.
"I like when Natsuki is such a gentleman." The brunette smiled warmly and they headed to the entrance door.
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A/N Again a longer delay that I intended. I'm sorry about that.
Thank you very much for the reviews. They feed my courage.
Thanks again to ManiazAzn for betaing this mess.