It's not every day, Joss reflected, that some stranger comes up to you and declares that they, one, know you are in fact a werewolf and, two, that they are as well and need your help. And yet that was exactly what had happened as she'd walked down the hall on her way to do her rounds and the pretty girl sidled up to her. She was wary, of course, she didn't exactly have the best track record with other's of her species? Predicament? Curse?-she still didn't know what to call it, even after all this time. But the girl, Brin, seemed genuine enough in the fact that all she wanted was help to get her brother out of the psych ward before the full moon came around. How could she say no? Even if she really really wanted to and some part of her psyche, that sounded distinctly like Nate, told her to just leave it alone. That was probably why she said yes, because Nate wouldn't want her to do it and frankly she was still feeling antagonistic towards him. Aidan would encourage her to help, she knew, to get to know others like her. So that was what she did.
"There's a service entrance around back," she found herself telling Brin as they stood outside of the room where the other woman's brother was being kept. "Meet us there in ten minutes." She had no idea how she was actually going to pull this off, but Brin seemed fine with the plan, or lack there of, because she nodded emphatically , said "okay," and was gone.
Joss sighed wearly and turned towards the door of the room. She could see the young man strapped down to the bed, looking a little out of it most likely from sedation. Looking around quickly she scanned her card on the reader by the door and slipped into the now unlocked room. If anyone asked why she had been in there, she would just say she was looking for a misplaced chart and hope that it would be enough.
The young man strapped to the bed eyed her cautiously, but she could see his nostrils flaring slightly, taking in her scent.
"Your sister asked me to get you out of here," she explained in a low tone as she began undoing the restraints that held him to the bed. "We're going to meet her outside."
The young man, she hadn't asked his name and neither he or Brin had supplied it, looked at her with some interest now. "How are you going to do that?" he sat up slowly and turned to throw his legs over the side of the bed, ready to stand.
She bit her lip in indecision, scanning the room. "You're going to sit in this wheel chair and I'm going to wheel you out of this room and down the hall to the elevator. We'll ride downstairs, I'll help you to your sister and you'll go." It seemed like the simplest way of doing things and if she had learned anything over the past few years it was that simple was best.
Joss helped him to the wheel chair and then, once he was seated, opened the door and with a cautious look around wheeled him out, down the hall and to the elevator. No one so much as spared them a glance as they waited for the elevator or when they got on. Joss felt like they were going to get caught any minute though and could feel her anxiety building. When they reached the service entrance Brin was pacing back and forth in agitation, but as soon as she saw her brother she rushed over and threw her arms around him.
"Thank you," she said sincerely, as she helped her brother to his feet. "Really, thank you so much."
"It's no problem," Joss couldn't help looking around to see if anyone was in sight to see them. "You guys should probably go, before we get caught."
Brin nodded and helped her brother walk away. Joss was just about to turn and push the wheelchair back inside when a male voice stopped her. "We won't forget this, I promise."
For some reason the assurance did anything but reassure her and she went back inside feeling unbalanced.
Later that day she found herself waiting outside the men's locker room for Aidan. As he stepped out, she wasn't surprised to see Sally with him; the ghost girl had no concept of boundaries. Ignoring the fact that Sally had just been perving on the male staff of the hospital, she cut right to the chase. "Hey. Do you guys notice anything…extra wolfy about me today?"
They both looked at her in bemusment, but Sally gestured for her to turn on the spot, which she did, before announcing, "No, you look normal." She glanced at Aidan, who still looked bemused. "Pale rider over here doesn't look so hot though."
"I'm still having a bit of a rough time, that's all," he justified in a undertone. "Why are you so worried about the wolf thing?" he asked Joss as they started to move down the hall.
"Well, because another werewolf walked right up to me today and called me out."
Aidan stopped walking, grabbing her arm so she would do the same. "What did you do?" he asked in concern and part of her was pleased to see a bit of the old Aidan back.
She grimaced, "I helped her werewolf brother escape from the psych ward."
Sally rolled her eyes in exasperation, which was nothing less than what Joss would have expected, and again that was somewhat comforting to see her getting back to her normal behaviour, or would have been if she wasn't still freaking out slightly over Brin and her brother. Or the fact that Aidan was staring at her like she had grown another head.
"I know, I know! I just…felt bad for the guy. I mean, he seemed harmless."
"Like Dany?" Sally asked raising a brow, which was quickly followed by Aidan bringing up Ray.
"I didn't know what else to do!" She justified, "It was either, let the guy go or turn the psych ward into…thunder dome."
"I'm sure it's fine," Sally said reassuringly, but as they started walking again, she was sure she saw her and Aidan share a look and shake their heads. "Who's home tonight?"
"I am. Nate is working doubles all week. I have to…" she stopped short. "Oh my god. I have a ultra sound today. Like in, ten minutes."
"That's today?" Sally looked excited, while Aidan just looked board. She got the feeling that for whatever reason, even though he said he was happy for her, he didn't like to think about the fact that she was pregnant.
"Yeah, although they won't be able to see much yet." Joss felt like throwing up now; first the werewolf siblings and now she was going to see the being growing inside of her for the first time.
"Bring home one of those pictures they give you. I want to see," Sally ordered, before turning to Aidan. "What about you walking dead? You home tonight?"
Aidan rolled his eyes, but shook his head, "Don't wait up. I've got some…things…to do first," he said ominously, looking uncomfortable.
Joss couldn't help herself, "You know how creepy that sounds right?" Their eyes made contact and she smiled slightly, trying to show that she supported him. He said he was going to try and fix things, so she hoped that was what he was doing.
Sally looked between the two of them and pointed at Joss, breaking the moment. " I want to see that picture tonight." And then she dispersed.
"Don't worry about the other werewolves you helped today," Aidan told her, breaking the silence that had fallen on them. "You were right not to leave him in the psych ward; that would have been bad for everyone. You better go, you don't want to miss your appointment."
Joss nodded, "Yeah, my appointment." It came out sounding hollow and unenthusiastic. Aidan seemed like he wanted to say something then, but instead took a breath, as if steeling himself, and continued down the hall, leaving her to go back in the other direction. Joss watched him go and then hurried to the elevator.
"I'm sorry I'm late," she said as she neared the room and saw Nate waiting.
"You forgot didn't you?" he didn't seem surprised, but he was trying not to smile, so she figured he wasn't too annoyed.
"Yeah, I just got caught up in things…I actually want to- " she was cut off as the ultra sound tech leaned out the door way.
"We all ready here?"
"Yeah," Nate gestured for her to go first, so with some trepidation Joss entered the room. This is wrong; the thought kept going through her mind as she lay back on the table and the tech moved her shirt up enough to put the gel on her skin. She just couldn't shake it; the idea that she shouldn't be pregnant.
The ultra sound tech moved the wand over the area of Joss' womb, and for a while she said nothing causing Joss and Nate to exchange a questioning look. Nate took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.
"Huh."
"What? What is it?" Joss demanded, thinking oh god it's a tumor, not a baby.
"Well you said, when you were filling out the paper work, that your hormone levels have seemed to be off. This is why; you're a little over 15 weeks pregnant, not eight."
"What?" Joss looked up at Nate, seeing the confusion she was feeling reflected on his face as well.
"No, that can't be right," he told the tech who just gave him a look, as if to say how dare you suggest that I'm wrong.
"Is there…is something wrong with it?" Joss found herself asking.
"Here, take a look." The tech turned the screen towards them so they could see and Joss swore she could feel her heart skip a beat. Beside her, Nate gripped her hand harder.
"The fetus looks great. There is excellent growth" the teach reassured them, before printing off the image and handing it to Joss. "We'll set up an appointment for next month."
Joss was vaguely aware of the tech and Nate talking, but she only had eyes for the picture she held in her hand. It was finally hitting her that this was all real. That was her baby; she didn't know what to feel.
"She has to be wrong about the dates. I mean, we could be wrong, but its probably her" Nate said, leaning in so he too could see the image. "But there it is. You're totally pregnant doe eyes, with a tiny…huge headed alien."
Joss just stared at the picture until she felt Nate gently brush her cheek. "Hey, don't cry Joss; everything is okay. I know this wasn't what we were expecting or even what we planned, but-"
She shook her head,cutting him off. She hadn't even been aware she was crying. "I just feel…overwhelmed I guess? Does that make sense? I never thought…"
"I know." He kissed her forehead. "I know exactly what you mean."
It was only later, as she was walking home, still marveling at the fact that she was supposedly 15 weeks pregnant, that she remembered that she hadn't told Nate about her werewolf encounter earlier that day, and that was only because she was forcefully reminded of it just as she started walking down her street. As the little red convertible came to a quick stop in front of her, engine revving and she saw Brin and her brother step out of the car, the feeling of trepidation came over her again.
"We couldn't stick around, but Connor wanted to say thanks," Brin told her, smiling.
Connor, her brother, nodded. "What you did back there, that was a prime move." Something about his smile made her feel uneasy.
"Right," she said cautiously, "well I'm sure you would have done the same for me." She just wanted to get home and talk to Sally.
Brin and Connor shared an amused look. "Clearly you don't know my brother," the other woman said.
"But let's change that." Joss couldn't help thinking that Connor was one of those guys who had a voice like honey; she'd always found honey to be too cloying. "Please, allow us to thank you properly."
"We're going out," Brin said, stepping closer to her. "You should come."
"Thanks," she said trying to sound gracious, " but no thanks." She didn't miss the brief shadow that passed over Connor's features, as she declined, before he smoothed them out.
"Oh come on. It's been a while since we met one of us that we actually want to hang out with."
"Yeah…its just…I've never met a brother and sister who got turned. How old were you guys?"
Brin and Connor shared a look and Connor stepped closer to Joss as well. "We weren't turned."
When she didn't react how they expected, Brin elaborated, "We're purebreds Joss."
Joss felt floored. How had no one told her about this possibility before? Ray or Aidan? Especially since… "You mean you were born this way?" she had to stop her hand going to her stomach in reaction.
Connor smiled. "Yes, and if I'm not mistaken, it would be good for you to talk to us about it." He gestured to her stomach and then started back to his car, leaving Joss to wonder how he knew she was pregnant; it was clear what he had meant.
As they entered the club, that Connor had insisted they go to, Joss couldn't help feeling like this was a mistake. Sure she had been willing to help them and she was curious as all hell to know about the purebreds and most importantly if that was why the child growing inside her was so advanced, but something about Connor, now that he wasn't sedated, was really creeping her out.
"Have you ever been here?" Brin shouted back to her, over the noxious techno dance beats.
"Once, in College. They wouldn't let me in; it was a private party."
Brin wrinkled her nose, as if the idea of not being allowed entry anywhere was foreign to her, but nodded and continued to follow Connor. They passed a bouncer, who Connor slapped on the back, "Thanks Cocheese." And Joss found herself asking Brin, "He does know he sounds like a tool right?"
Brin laughed. "I would like to say no, but I have caught him practicing his cocheese's in the mirror."
They sat down and Joss watched as Connor snorted what looked like cocaine, but what Brin said was Aconite.
"You know how you feel before a turn? Your senses are on fire, your sharp but you kinda want to jump out of your own skin? That's how we feel all the time."
"Is that how you knew I was a wolf?"
"Yeah and how we know you are pregnant. The Aconite takes the edge off."
Joss leaned forward, aware that even though they were in a club with a thumping base beat going, someone could still over hear them. "So he's not trying to get high?"
"No; he's trying to be normal."
Joss wanted to question them, ask more about what it was like for them as children, but Brin and Connor directed the conversation from there and eventually got to talking about how they could trace their line back 12 generations of wolves and how they still had an estate in the Scottish Highlands.
"I know it's not a life you hear about a lot, but then again neither is yours." Brin said laughingly.
"Yeah," Connor agreed. " How did you go from MIT, to being a nurses aid? What am I missing here?" The look he was giving her was intense, but she tried not to let it unnerve her.
"Maybe the part where I turn into a canine serial killer each month?"
Connor rolled his eyes, "Please don't be one of those people that uses the wolf as an excuse."
"I'm not making excuses." Joss said vehemently. " But it is a reality. I'm just trying to deal; I'm trying to find a cure. Not just for me, but for my boyfriend and if everything I am getting from you about purebreds is true, for my baby as well."
Connor seemed intrigued by her admission. "Wait, your looking for a cure too? What have you got? You need to show me your work!"
"I only started about two months ago and it's not like I have endless cash to pay for research."
"Right," Connor smiled, "But what if you did?"
"What? No your misunderstanding me, I'm not asking for help." The was the last thing she wanted.
"I know," Connor moved closer, if that was possible, since he had practically been sitting on top of her, "I'm offering. Where is your lab? Can we come by tomorrow?"
"I shouldn't have brought it up." Joss stood, feeling even more unease; something about Connor did not sit well with her. She didn't want to spend any more time near him.
"So you're not even going to tell me where it is? You serious about this, or do you just want to push old ladies around in wheelchairs for the rest of your life?"
He stood and so did Brin, but Joss wasn't about to back down. She was past the days where she let people walk over her. "Wow, that aconite wears off fast."
"Connor, back off." Brin warned, but he pushed his sister aside and blocked Joss' exit.
"No. Why am I the jerk? We take her out, we treat her like one of us? Now I try and help her and I'm the jackass?" he was trying to intimidate her, but if Joss could stare down Aidan, when he was blood crazed and trying to rip out her throat, she certainly wasn't going to back down to some punk purebred wolf.
"The last train's in ten minutes. I'm going to go," She said evenly, never breaking eye contact with him. She turned to Brin, while she fished some money out of her jeans pocket for the soda she had drank, "Brin, it was really nice meeting you," she told the other woman sincerely. She turned back to Connor, who had been giving her back a death glare and slapped the money into his chest. "Here you go." She pushed past him, shouldering him out of her way and made her way out of the club.
It was a mistake to go out with them, she thought as she walked to the train, huge mistake.
The next morning, as she got ready for the day, she was still thinking about the enounter with Connor the night before. She really didn't like the way he looked at her, as if she should just roll over and show her belly to him, metaphorically speaking of course. Trying to put it from her mind, instead thinking of Sally's squealing reaction to the sonogram print, she treaded down the stairs and into the kitchen where Aidan was leaning against the counter looking like he was going to pass out.
"Ugh," she sighed as she looked in the fridge for something that would be appealing to her rolling stomach and that she wouldn't throw up five minutes later, "You look like I feel."
"What uh," Aidan sat down slowly; she wondered if he was making himself cut back on the live blood, but didn't want to ask. "What happened to your quiet night in? I thought you were coming home right after your appointment?"
Joss gave up on food and just grabbed a bottle of water, before facing him and leaning against the counter where he had been leaning only moments ago. "Turns out psycho ward werewolf and his sister like to party. Oh and this, your going to love. They want to help me find a cure."
"Those bastards."
Joss rolled her eyes, "No, no. You'd turn them down too, especially Connor. He's pretty hateable."
"Okay."
Joss crossed her arms and fixed Aidan with a raised brow stare. "That's your judgy okay."
Aidan shook his head in denial, but it only caused her to sigh, "Don't. In my defense, I would have hated them just as much had I met them before I got turned. Connor's that guy who got the new car at 16, crashed it and his parents bought him a better one at 17. And Brin, I'm pretty sure she had a pony when she was a little girl, right up until the day she ate it! And she's the one I like."
Aidan smirked, but to his credit seemed to be trying not to. "They do sound hateable."
She sat down at the table, in the seat cady corner to his. "But?"
"How many people are there who know what you are going through and want to help?" he reached over, tentatively it seemed, and put his hand on her's where it rested on the table. She tried not to react to the touch; Aidan hadn't so much as handed her a cup since he drank her blood and threatened to kill her.
"What would you do?" she asked earnestly. Aidan may have been loosing his grip, but his advice was usually sound she had to admit.
"If accepting their offer will lead you to a cure, take it. Give your self a break. We're always saying no to people like them, because we're afraid of becoming them, or becoming like them. It's why you said no to Ray. But we don't have to be like them. If saying yes gets not only you your life back, but gives that child growing inside you a chance," he caressed her hand briefly, almost in comfort, "say yes."
So she found herself calling Brin, at the number that she had given her in the car on the way to the club, and having them meet her at the storage unit.
"Like I said, it's not the Manhattan Project," she told them as they entered. She did her best to keep Brin between her self and Connor; she was still wary of him, no matter what Aidan said.
"What is all this junk?" he asked, exaiming her equipment.
"It's pretty basic stuff, actually. I video tape the turn," she picked up the camera, "um, record temperatures, take EKGs before the wolf eats through the wires."
"Right," Connor leaned against the table she had the equipment sitting on. "And what exactly are you looking for?"
"Whatever makes us different before the change. There must be some sort of mutation I can pinpoint." It felt weird talking about it with them, she had only ever really explained it to Nate.
"So say you had more money," Connor smirked, "What would you do first?"
"Uh," she bit her lip and took a deep breath to steady herself; she knew what she wanted, just because she hadn't made it to being a doctor didn't mean she didn't know how to go about a diagnosis. "I would start with MRI's, as close to the moon as possible. And a full blood panel. If I can find out what the trigger is I can turn it off and we can say goodbye to the pooch for good."
"So your saying, this trigger that your looking for, if you can turn it off, I can turn it on, right?"
She shrugged, "In theory."
Brin and Connor shared a look and laughed then and she knew she had been right this time; this was a mistake. "You guys want to be wolves all the time." She shook her head, "No, I won't help you do that. You need to leave." She was able to herd them out of the unit and Connor took off in a huff, but Brin seemed to need to explain herself. They stared at each other, until Joss spoke.
"The wolf is everything that I hate. I can't just let it out into the world."
"If I felt that way, I wouldn't either. But I don't" Brin had what could only be described as a fanatical gleam in her eyes. " Everything I see, taste, do, it is all deadened because of this." She gestured towards herself, "Defective eyes, weak ass nose, lousy instincts. Everything that is special, everything that I love about me, I have to push down."
"This is the best version of you. It can't just go away," Joss tried to explain, but Brin wouldn't hear it.
"I want it to. You feel like a monster one night a month, like something is taking over your body; think about how it is for us. That feeling of being trapped? Think about knowing that the best part of you is being held captive by a monster that you hate. You feel like that one night a month; Connor and I feel like that the other 29."
Staring at her, Joss could see what she was saying was true, or that she truly belived, as vehemently as Joss believed that she needed to find a cure for her and Nate, that this was the way it had to be. What got to her though was what Brin said about feeling trapped. If her and Nate's child was, as Brin and Connor suggested, a purebred like them, then he or she would feel like this all the time. She didn't want that for him or her, she didn't want them to ever have to experience that change.
"I'll work with you," she found herself saying. "But not because I believe in what your saying. I do feel like a monster; I have every day since my first change and if I can make it so we all don't have to feel that anymore, I will." She felt like she was making a deal with the devil.
Brin smiled.