Chapter 12
ZEKE
I watched Four's face carefully. I had actually been startled and then scared when he screamed after going in the first time. He had been difficult to bring out and when I did finally get him out, he was so shut down. He was so scared and upset that he had only babbled and cried for the first few minutes. It took a long time for him to calm down enough to explain what had even happened. I was also worried about what it meant about in the long run, if the landscape was changing. How was that even possible?
"Yes it was better. Apparently someone high up and external is changing the landscape in ways we can't anticipate or control. You coming?" he asked and before I could answer, he injected us both and in we went.
I couldn't see anything. Were my eyes open? I blinked a few times and it remained all black. But yes, it seemed they were open. Never been in a landscape like this before. It didn't seem like a fear landscape at all. "What's going on Four?" I asked and my voice echoed. I hoped I was still with him and that we hadn't been separated in whatever this was.
"Give me a second," he replied and his voice seemed to be coming from a few metres away from me. Then suddenly the light came on and I shielded my eyes to let them adjust.
"You could have warned me," I said and walked over to him.
"Where's the fun in that?" he asked and I rolled my eyes. "Come on," he said and we walked through the door next to him. Tris and Uri were there waiting for us as we walked through. Four instantly crushed her to him again, practically squeezing the life out of her. But she didn't seem to mind. I think after he saw her die in that landscape, he was a little overprotective. It had probably brought back some pretty strong emotions from when she had actually died. Not that he had seen it happen. But still.
"Hey bro," Uri said and hugged me. "Good to see you made it through the dark room," he added. Apt name.
"What's the go with that? What do you know about the changing landscape?" I asked Uri and saw Tris and Four disappear into another room.
"I don't know too much. They keep us in the dark a lot as well," he said and we both grinned at each other.
"Very punny," I said and we both laughed.
"I only know that someone who controls more than we imagined is changing it. Making it harder for us all to talk. They are trying to prevent us from fixing it," Uri answered vaguely.
"Fixing what?" I asked. Sometimes I hated talking to these guys, all they gave me were riddles!
"I don't know how to answer that question Zeke," Uri said and I could tell from the less than happy look on his face, that he was telling the truth. He genuinely didn't. "We are limited in what we can actually say. It's like we're programmed," he said and something in that statement jerked a reaction. Were they just programs? Was this actually real? Were they really alive or were we just being made to see and interact with something that wasn't real but was forcing us to react on the surface on the information we were given here? If that's what it was, I didn't want to let on that that's what I was thinking. So I changed the subject.
"So how are you really? When are you guys coming back?" I asked him.
"I'm doing ok. I miss you and mum. And all our friends. It will be good to be with you all again. And as for the when… I don't know," he said and I nodded, rolling my eyes. Of course. "Soon I hope," he added and hugged me. "I love you bro."
"I love you too."
"I know," he said and grinned at me cheekily. It was good to see him in such high spirits. Given everything that had happened three years ago, it had been a while since I had seen him so cheerful. And I was glad to see him and Mar still together.
"How's Mar going?" I asked and he actually blushed and looked down. My brother, blushing?! "That good huh?" I asked and elbowed him.
"Yeah," he said bashfully. Wow. I couldn't believe it.
"Good on you bro," I said, slapping him on the shoulder and grinning. He looked up at me and narrowed his eyes then grinned mischievously.
"How's Shauna?" he asked and I cursed under my breath. "Ahhh, so you are finally starting to admit it ay?"
"We're just friends Uri," I said and he smiled at me shaking his head.
"Just admit it to yourself. We can all see it and I know you know it," Uri said. "You love Shauna. You have since we were kids. I may have been naïve then, but I have matured since then," he said and poked me. Then he suddenly looked up at me. "You need to go. Now!" he said and I opened my eyes.
"Well that escalated quickly," Four said, sitting next to me.
"You get told to leave immediately as well?" I asked him.
"Yep. Damn sick of that, I tell you," he said and started to stand.
"So am I. Can't wait to have them back," I said and he just nodded, deep in thought. "You get anything more out of them?" I asked and he shook his head.
"Frustrating. So, so frustrating!" he said, still shaking his head.
"Certainly is. I should probably go. I am hanging out with Shauna tomorrow. If I'm tired or late, I will never live it down," I said.
"Ok. Oh before you go, how did it go with George and Aram?" he asked me.
"Oh yeah! They agreed we should tail him once we catch a glimpse of him again. They are going to take care of that and let me know what they find," I told him.
"Sure," he said and nodded.
"Ok I'll be in touch," I said and left. I made my way back to my apartment, undressed for bed and was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I'd only just closed my eyes when I heard knocking. "Zeke," I heard followed by more knocking and I started to open my eyes. Who was coming over at this time of night? What time was it? I looked at my watch. It was after nine in the morning. Shit! I jumped out of bed, not even bothering to put a shirt on and raced to the door.
"Shauna, hey," I said and she raised an eyebrow at me as she looked me over, inch by inch. Wow. Her stare was making me hot. She's just a friend Zeke. Just a friend.
"Didn't think to get dressed for the occasion?" she asked and I looked down. I was shirtless and wearing boxers but nothing else. Oops. "Not that I'm complaining, but I didn't think clothes were optional?" she asked, laughing at me as she came in. A slight hint of pain or jealously flicked across her face as she said, "Late night?"
Shauna, jealous? No. I was imagining it. "Yes it was a late night," I answered and this time she did actually look hurt so I felt the need to explain. "I was working with Tobias on something," I added and her look softened slightly. "Let me just have a quick shower and change then I'm all yours. Make yourself comfortable," I said, gesturing the loungeroom and she nodded so I made a hasty retreat into my bathroom.
A quick shower later I wrapped a towel swathed around my hips and re-entered the loungeroom to go to the bedroom. "Still clothing optional huh?" she asked as she looked up from a book she was reading. She looked me up and down again.
Focus Zeke. Get dressed.
"Two more minutes. Promise," I said and went quickly into the bedroom. Was it just me or did she say 'Shame'? I quickly got dressed, putting on a pair of jeans and a black shirt and walked back out to her. "Much better," I said, announcing myself as I entered.
"Something like that," she said and grinned. "So what are we doing today?" she asked me.
"It's a surprise. But begins with an array of boardgames," I said, sitting down on the lounge next to her. She leapt at me playfully.
"You know I don't like surprises… what is it?" she asked, laying across me with her face inches from mine.
"I can't tell you," I said, struggling to think. I shifted so she was laying comfortably between my legs. My mouth went dry. I reached up slowly and brushed a lock of her behind her ear, my hand resting at the nape of her neck. Something changed between us.
"Why not?" she asked. Why not what? What were we talking about?
"Huh?" I asked.
"Why not?" she asked again.
"Why not indeed," I said and pulled her lips to mine. I brushed her lips softly with mine and she shivered above me. I pulled back an inch, smiling. Wow. I looked at her and saw she looked startled. I hesitated for a second, my smile fading. Should I pretend it didn't happen? Should I apologise? Should I kiss her again?
I saw the hint of a smile curve her lips then her lips parted slightly like she was about to say something. But I didn't let her. I figured if she was going to say no, she should know what she was saying no to. So I kissed her again but this time really kissed her like I meant it. I knew she felt the same about me when she kissed me back, hard. Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling us chest to chest. I wrapped my other arm across her lower back, crushing her to me and running my hand under her shirt and up her warm back.
I lost all sense. All I could taste was Shauna. All I could feel was Shauna. All I wanted to feel, was Shauna. Suddenly she pulled back, looking at me. I could see the uncertainty on her face.
"What's wrong?" I asked her.
"What about Vanessa?" she asked.
"What about her? We broke up," I answered.
"What is this then? The rebound?" Shauna asked, sounding angry. Would she have preferred I was still going out with Ness? Shauna started pushing up off me, getting up and I pulled her back.
"Shauna, come here," I said and pulled her down and cradled her to my chest. She didn't fight me as my arms came around her, but she didn't put her arms back around me. "Do you want to know why we broke up?" I asked her and felt her nod against me. I couldn't believe what I was about to tell her. "We broke up because Ness thinks I love you." I heard Shauna gasp and she wriggled out of my grasp and looked at me.
"Is that true?" she asked.
"That's why we broke up yes," I said, purposefully misconstruing her question.
"That's not what I meant and you know it," she said, frustrated and I grinned. I wanted her to ask me straight out if I was going to bare myself for her emotionally. I think she knew that she was going to have to bare herself as well. "Do you love me?" she asked, looking very nervous.
"I think I have always loved you Shauna," I replied. And she looked stunned. "From the time we were little Dauntless born kids running around and you used to try and beat me up. You were always one of us. And you were always there, always making an impression without trying. Then you turned into a woman and you stopped always being there. I know we went through training together and started to stop being as close. But like I said, I miss you."
"Oh shut up," she said and kissed me again and the heat built up between us. She ran her hands under my shirt and up my chest before pulling my shirt off so she could snuggle against my bare chest. Being ex-Dauntless, we weren't like the Abnegation. We didn't have any concerns about sleeping together. It wasn't something you waited for until you were married or felt like you had to hide your affection for someone. But something about Shauna brought out the gentleman in me and I forced myself not to pick her up and carry her to my bed.
I lost myself again in her kiss until my stomach grumbled. I hadn't had breakfast. Shauna pulled back and laughed at me. Then her stomach grumbled and we both laughed.
"Are you hungry?" I asked her and she smiled shyly and nodded. I sat up, bringing her with me and she leaned back to extricate herself from my lap. I looked at my watch and was surprised to see it was lunchtime. Hours? We had been kissing for hours? "Were we really kissing for that long?" I asked her and she blushed and giggled.
"Apparently," she answered. I could easily lose days kissing Shauna. Why the hell had I waited so long to man up?
"Come on," I said and we went into the kitchen. I started getting food together, ready for our picnic at the park. I figured we should still do it. Although we hadn't started the day how I thought we would have.
"Picnic lunch?" she asked.
"Yeah I had planned on an array of board and card games. Followed by a walk down to the park and picnic lunch," I answered and she smiled.
"And then?" she asked and I laughed and shook my head.
"And then I'm not telling you. It's still a surprise," I replied and she hit me in the arm. I laughed again. "Come here you," I said and pulled her into my arms again and we kissed again until my stomach grumbled again.
"Well come on then," she said, "I'm hungry!" I finished packing the lunch and we walked down to the park, holding hands. Then sat together, laughing and eating, people watching. It wasn't until the sun was starting to go down that I even realised how much time had passed. We packed up and walked back to my place slowly.
"This was fun," she said as we dumped the picnic stuff back in the kitchen. I'd clean it later. "I should probably go," she said and I shook my head, pulling her into my arms again.
"This includes dinner," I said and she laughed.
"You pack a mean lunch, but who is going to cook?" she asked me.
"I can cook," I answered, slightly insulted.
"But I can cook better. Come over?" she asked and I smiled. I had always enjoyed watching her in the kitchen.
"Why Shauna," I said grinning, "Are you inviting me over for dinner?"
"It would seem that way Zeke, come on," she said and tugged me to the door. I locked up and we went down the hall to her apartment. I sat at the kitchen bench and watched as she moved around the kitchen, collecting ingredients and setting them on the counter.
"Would you like some help?" I asked her and she smiled and shook her head.
"I'm fine," she replied. "You don't have to help."
"I'd like to."
"Ok, dice this up for me," she said, handing me a capsicum.
"I was expecting a more challenging assignment," I said and she laughed at me and handed me an onion. I diced them up and passes it all back to her.
"Thank you, now go and sit," she said, indicating the bench with a very large, very sharp knife. I put my hands up in mock surrender.
"Anything you say Boss," I said and she laughed. I loved that sound.
And so for the next three days, I almost completely forgot about the outside world. Shauna and I ventured between the two apartments, spending all our time together. We still hadn't slept together but enjoyed the blissful environment we had created. We snuggled together to sleep and I had never been so happy.
Was this what I had been missing out on for so long?
Eventually, the real world came knocking. I couldn't escape it forever.