Chapter 14

TOBIAS

"Hey George, I heard the Protectors get in today," I said as we shook hands.

"Yeah they should be here in a few minutes. Would you like to join us? They, actually that's them now I thhh-" George trailed off as through the door walked the Protectors. Tris, Will, Tori, Uriah and Marlene. We both held our breath and watched as the Protectors asked someone who walked by them something and we saw them turn and point in our direction before the Protectors walked over to join us.

I couldn't believe it was actually her. I couldn't believe that any second now I was about to feel her. "Tris," I said and ran to her, wrapping my arms around her tightly and picking her up to swing her around. Out of the corner of my eye I saw George hug Tori as well. So you can imagine my surprise when Tris jabbed me in the kidney and wriggled out of my grasp before punching me squarely in the jaw. If it was Tris, her punching had certainly improved. Now she used her whole body instead of just her arm. I held my jaw.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" she asked me, magnificently indignant. Just like the day I asked her if she had been pushed to be the first jumper.

"Tris, don't you remember me?" I asked, absolutely awed but utterly devastated.

"My name is Candice, not Tris. And I don't like to be man handled by people I have never met," she replied and I looked at her searchingly. I went to reach for her again and she stepped back, out of my reach. I was floored.

"I… but you… back… " I mumbled and my legs crumbled beneath me and I dropped to my knees.

"Look I'm sorry, but I don't know who you think I am. We have just arrived from Fort Bragg. Perhaps we should start over? I am Candice Prior of the Protectors," Tris/Candice said and she approached me and put her hand on my shoulder, her demeanour softening. I didn't really know what to do. "Come on, you must be Tobias. Up you get," she said and took my hand, pulling me to my feet. Her hand was so small in mine, just as Tris' had been.

Her hair was the same colour of spun gold, loosely braided and over her shoulder as it was much longer than when I had seen her last. Her eyes were the same colour of a cloudless sky on a summer's day. I could see the edge of a tattoo over her collarbone. I had to stop myself from pushing the edge of her shirt to see if it was the same. If she wasn't Tris, she certainly wouldn't appreciate me trying to move her clothes to see more of her body.

"So are you Tobias?" she asked again, her voice the same low voice for a girl. I'd still know that voice anywhere.

"Yes, I am Tobias Johnson," I replied (having dropped Marcus' name finally and taken Evelyn's about six months ago) and she nodded. "Prior you said?" I asked. Had she said Prior or did I imagine that?

"Yes, Candice Prior," she said and stuck her hand out to shake mine. Her handshake was a lot firmer than Tris' had been. "This is Bill, Tyrah, Zachuriah and Marly," she added, pointing out Will, Tori, Uriah and Marlene. They each came and shook hands, all looking identical to the initial people we knew them as.

"Do none of you remember me?" I asked and they shook their heads. And it was then I noticed that George had had a similar reaction from Tori/Tyrah as I had. We were both shocked. "This is George," I said and he continued to just stare. "I'm sorry, but you all look an awful lot like people we used to know," I added, trying to explain. I could only imagine what it was like for them as well.

"It's ok, Mar thought people were staring at her because she's soooo good looking," Zachuriah joked and Mar/Marly elbowed him glaring. It was uncanny how similar their personalities were as well. It had to be them. Perhaps just reprogrammed like the Bureau? How to break through that? And Tris was never susceptible to it. It didn't make sense. None of it did. "Love, you are good looking," he added and she smiled then they kissed. I rolled my eyes. Same old Uriah even if he had a different name now.

"I was under the impression there was a contingent of ten of you coming?" I asked.

"Just the five of us here," Tris/Candice answered somewhat cryptically. She didn't really answer my question and I wondered if she was omitting something. She didn't say that there weren't ten coming or that there were ten of them at all. Only that there were five here.

"George, do you want to show them where they are staying for tonight so they can get settled in?" I asked and he continued to stare. I elbowed him. "George!" he shook his head as if to clear it.

"Hi, I'm George. I'm the head trainer here. Umm we have put you guys in one of the spare dorm rooms for now, I hope that's ok?" George said, finally sounding somewhat coherent.

"Sounds fine to us, we don't need much," Tori/Tyrah said and the others made sounds of agreement.

"Great I will let George take you up there, I need to make a call. Excuse me," I said and left. It was so hard being near her and it not actually being her. Well not that she remembered anyway. I saw George lead them up to the old transfer rooms.

"Zeke," I said into the phone as he answered. "You better prepare yourself."

"For what? Are the Protectors there?" he asked.

"They are. But they are our missing ones but not our missing ones. They have different names but they all look the same and act the same. They don't remember us Zeke," I said in dismay.

"Are you sure it's them?" he asked and I thought hard about it. Was there a chance it wasn't them?

"Come see for yourself, then you tell me. I'll meet you at the Pit."

"Sure. I will be right there," he said and hung up. I was pretty sure he was in the building somewhere. I was right because he caught up with me within a couple of minutes.

"You ready for this?" I asked him and he nodded so we walked through the tunnels to the dorm rooms they were bunking in. They were all joking as they unpacked their kit and Zeke and I stood there in the doorway watching them for a moment, analysing their behaviour unobtrusively.

"Oooh muffins," Marly said as she finally spotted the muffin tray at the edge of the room and she bounded over to them, half skipping, half galloping.

"Quit eating them all and pass one here?" Zachuriah said, grinning at her mischievously.

"Mmkay," she mumbled with a mouthful of muffin. She swallowed before saying, "You better come get one. We all know you can't catch," she said and grinned back at him, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously.

"But I can," Will said and Marly grinned at him before tossing him one. He deftly caught it and took a big bite.

"So can Candice. You want one?" Marly asked her and I see Candice look up at her and nod. Marly threw her one and as Candice went to catch it, Zachuriah jumped in front of her and caught it like he used to in sport at school.

"Hey!" Candice said indignantly. "That was mine." She elbowed him and he pretended to be wounded for half a second before running out of her way. She rolled her eyes and started walking towards the tray of muffins. "Tyrah, would you like one?" Candice asked her, her Abnegation showing.

"No thanks. I'm holding out for this cake I have heard so much about," Tyrah replied and went back to unpacking. I noticed a few grey strands streaking her hair.

I was watching their candid banter with amusement, enjoying seeing them all so happy and healthy again, even if they didn't remember us.

Yet.

I looked at Zeke, he wore a look of hurt on his face. I imagined it was because his brother didn't remember him. He turned to me.

"It's them," we said in unison.

"How are we going to handle this with everyone that knows them?" Zeke asked me and before I could answer they seemed to finally notice that we were standing there watching them. "Ummm, I'm Zeke," he said as he walked into the room and shook hands with them all, handling it a little better than I had initially. He faltered slightly when he got to his brother and almost went in for the hug but held back at the last second.

"So would you guys like a tour?" I asked.

"That would be great," Candice said and walked over to join me.

"I'm going to stay and unpack," Marly said and the others all agreed with Marly.

"I'll stay until they are done and then take them," Zeke said and I nodded. I was really nervous now, knowing I was going to be alone with her, but that it wasn't her.

"Great, follow me," I said and started leading the way.

"So are you a trainer here?" Candice asked me and I turned back to look at her as she caught up to walk beside me.

"I was a number of years ago," I replied and cleared my throat. "I'm a political assistant at the moment but contemplating returning to training and intelligence," I replied truthfully. I thought about when she had first been a transfer. I had been ready to give it all up and become Factionless. They were going to be my last intake of initiates and then I was out. Done. And then she came along and I couldn't leave. I had to protect her. I had to get to know her. I had to be with her.

"And do you enjoy fighting with your words instead of your fists?" she asked me, staring at me as we walked.

I took a deep breath before I answered, "For the most part. I do miss the smell of the training room and the undeniable pride I felt when an initiate made it through, achieving their goals and moving forwards in their training," I replied. "So this is the Pit," I said, revealing it as we walked through the door onto the walkway above it.

"Apt," she replied then leant over the railing above the chasm. The railing shuddered a little as she leaned quite far over.

"Careful," I said, instinctively reaching for her, my arms slipping around her waist protectively. She turned and narrowed her eyes at me and I released her as soon as she was steady and upright. "This chasm shows us the fine line between bravery and idiocy. A number have died here and probably will continue to do so. Just be careful," I said and looked away.

"I can see this is hard for you. Would you prefer someone else show me around?" she asked, placing a hand on my arm. I looked down at her hand then back at her and she moved her arm away.

"No, it's fine," I replied and we kept moving through the tunnels. I took her into the room with the targets for knife throwing. There were a few sets of knives on the table. "Done knife throwing before?" I asked her as she seemed intrigued at the room.

"No," she replied. "It was removed from the training at Fort Bragg. It was thought to be of no use other than fuelling the bravado of the men, in particular." I felt a smile lift at the corner of my mouth.

"Would you like to have a go?" I asked her and she grinned in delight.

"Sure, can you show me?" she asked excitedly. I nodded and picked up a set of knives, holding two in my left, one in my right. I positioned myself and focused on my breathing, throwing the knife as I released my breath and hitting the target in the dead centre. I continued with the next two knives, burying them in the targets within millimetres of each other.

"Your turn," I replied and she took a shaky breath, picking up the knives. She took a couple of practise goes, focusing on her stance to copy me. Just as Tris had. Then she aimed and missed the target completely.

"Am I doing this right?" she asked and I approached her.

"Keep your eye on your target, release the knife as you release your breath. But hold your breath from here," I said, placing my hand on her diaphragm. I felt her suck in her breath and I let go and stood back. She took a second to get her breathing under control and I chastised myself. I had to stop touching her. It was obviously making her uncomfortable.

She had another attempt and this time hit the target, close to the centre. "Well done," I said. "Now try to hit it again." She let loose her third knife and it hit the centre. She let out a whoop of delight. "Great. We can come back here tomorrow if you want to have another go. In the meantime we can move on if you like?" I looked at her, her eyes were bright.

"That sounds great," she said. "Hungry?" I asked her. I knew it was dinner time and she had wolfed down that muffin, I wondered if she was hungry.

"Starved," she said and we walked into the dining hall. Zeke and the others were there and waved us over. We went and sat down. Zeke sat next to Zachuriah and they seemed to have formed an easy bond as brothers would. I sat down on the other side of Zeke and expected Candice to sit with Marly on the other end of the table, but she sat down next to me.

I forced myself to concentrate. She stared at the hamburgers on the table. I actually laughed aloud at the look on her face. It was the same as Tris' had been. Coming from Abnegation, Tris had never seen a hamburger. I pushed the bowl of sauce towards her. "Put this on it," I said and she smiled at me before taking a deep breath as though preparing herself, and then taking a big bite.

"Mmmm, this is good," she said, her words garbled by food.

"Four," said Amar as he walked over. "I want to show you something, can you head back over here tomorrow?"

"Sure thing. Morning?" I asked and he nodded.

"Four?" Candice asked.

"Nickname," I muttered.

"Four, like the number?" she asked and I nodded. "Do you prefer Tobias?"

"Doesn't really bother me any more. But yeah, call me Tobias," I said. I probably should have told her to call me Four, it would remind me that she and I now had boundaries again whereas Tris and I had lost them. This was symbolised by her calling me by my name.

We continued eating, pretending it wasn't awkward. I had to force myself to not look at her. Because every time I looked at her, I stared at her mouth wanting to kiss it. Or her hair wanting to brush it away from her neck. Or her collarbone, trying to get a glimpse of her tattoos to see what they were.

"So how long have you guys been in the Protectors?" Zeke asked, making conversation.

"As long as we can remember," Zachuriah answered. That fit with us thinking it was them. As long as they remembered was probably the three years they had been gone. But they didn't remember anything before that. Yet. I wondered if I could get Candice and the others over to see Matthew. Or Matthew to see them. Perhaps that could reveal their memories. Damn him for being missing. Damn FourTris. Why wasn't any of this easy?!

Focus Tobias, I warned myself, feeling the warmth of Candice's leg next to mine and her hair brush my arm as she leant over me to get some salt. I forced myself to be nonchalant and not react. But it was almost the hardest thing I had ever done.

It was at this point that I contemplated the memory serum again. Couldn't I just make myself forget like she evidently had? I concentrated on the discussions going on around me and found myself actually enjoying it after a while. As I always had, I got on well with Marly, Zachuriah and Tyrah. And definitely got on well with Candice and I tried to focus on the fact she was a different person and not pretend like I could make her remember.

And I had never had a lot to do with Will/Bill but I found him to be the same kid he was as an initiate, keen, brave and protective of the others. Plus he was surprisingly funny although could be quite crude which didn't relate well with the Abnegation in me. I was surprised that he was always like this and surprised that Tris had always been quite comfortable around him. I thought he may have put her out of her comfort zone with some of the crude comments he made.

After dinner, we walked them back to their room and played card games. I stayed for a couple of games and then left, because every time I looked at Tris/Candice, I just wanted to get her alone and kiss or, or talk to her… or just be in her company with her undivided attention on me. But this wasn't going to work. Not until I got some emotional distance. I did it with Evelyn, I could do it with Tris/Candice too.