So the intruders had messed around with the phone, Ironside thought. They had to be smarter than the average criminal.
On top of everything the door was opened and Mark walked in. "Mark, watch out!" the Chief warned.
The young Afro-American ducked and glanced around, but since he didn't know what to look for he unbent and walked slowly down the ramp. "What's the matter?"
Ironside relaxed. Any intruder who had his wits together would have profited of the situation by now. "Nothing, except that that flaming phone is out of commission. See if it is disconnected!" Hearing strange noises sounded ridiculous now that he wasn't alone anymore.
Mark looked somewhat confused but pulled at the wire. It ended after two yards.
Immediately the Chief understood: the hamster!
The phone had still worked earlier tonight. The hamster Ed had bought was still in the cage. Hence the first one – Robby or something – had to be still around! Dead sure it was the cause of the noise in the hallway. "Mark, there's a second hamster somewhere around. Go get it before it causes more havoc!"
Mark let his schoolbag drop. He yawned. Looking at the cage he asked, "Don't you mean the first one?"
Ironside rolled his eyes. "Call it an Elephant or whatever you want but CATCH THAT BEAST!"
Less than thrilled Mark obeyed. Ten chaotic minutes later he went downstairs to get some reinforcement. Another ten minutes, an overthrown chair, a broken lamp and a torn police uniform later everybody gathered together at the octagonal table. "It's no use," stated Mark. It was hardly news.
"I'll call Ed. He's the one who got us in trouble. It's up to him to find a way to get us out of it," decided the Chief.
Brown sounded a little sleepy at first. "Do you want me to come by and help?" he asked dutifully.
"Not unless you can't tell us what to do!"
In his calm way Ed thought about it for a moment before answering, "Tell them to stop running around."
"Stop running around!" barked Ironside. "They already have."
"Please calm down."
"Calm d...! – They won't calm down until we have that flaming creature, dead or alive!"
The sergeant didn't dare say that he hadn't meant Mark and the officers.
"Can Mark organize an empty toilet paper roll and a towel?"
Ironside took the receiver off his ear and stared at it in disbelief. A toilet roll? A towel? Had the Sergeant gone crazy? Nevertheless he relayed the message, but meanwhile missed the beginning of Ed's further instructions, "... into the paper roll, Mark will throw the towel over it. That way he should be able to catch Bobby."
Well, Ironside wasn't considered the smartest detective east and west of the Rockies for nothing. He didn't have to ask back. "Now keep still for once, all of you!" he barked.
The next five minutes brought the desired success. Mark put Bobby into the cage to his colleague, who didn't seem too enthusiastic. But the cage was more than big enough for two little hamsters, wasn't it?
Mark put the cage into the closet. That way Ironside and Mark would finally be able to get their much needed rest.
March 25th
The next morning Ed arrived at headquarters much earlier than usually.
The Chief was still in grumpy mode. "What in blazes are you doing?!"
Ed had taken one of the hamsters out of the cage. It was Bobby, but he was the only one who could keep them apart.
"The one I bought is a female. I call her Barry. Unfortunately I couldn't get a male looking like Bobby. But then I thought that it didn't make much of a difference for Steve as long as he had only one hamster. Females usually don't like to be together with males. Barry considers Bobby as an intruder into her territory. And then… females are in estrus about every four days. We don't want to start breeding hamsters, do we?"
Not for the first time Ironside was astonished about his Sergeant's expert knowledge about biology*. Of course he would never have told him that openly.
"If you are through with your lecture we may try to get some work done!" he grumbled.
For a second Ed didn't know what to do with Bobby. Then he snatched two old compendia of crime reports, knowing full well that they might not look the same way within a few days. But they were exactly the right size to divide the cage into two partitions. He put Bobby back, hoping that he would soon find the time to provide him with food and water. Actually there wasn't much hope of getting a minute off on a day like this one...
March 27th, Mike Stone's office
The following Monday Steve came into work extremely early, too. Before he even took off his beige raincoat he scooped up Andy, the department cat, from the top of the filing cabinet where he liked to hang out and watch intently what was going on. He hugged the small animal to his chest and buried his face in the soft fur.
Uh oh, not a good weekend… Mike felt a bit guilty but he had thought that bringing Mattie to Modesto might dilute her company a little for Steve. It looked very much as if he may have been wrong there. He beckoned Steve to come into his office. Steve sat down on the chair and settled the purring cat more comfortably. Although the cat certainly enjoyed the attention he was getting, it was Steve who derived some comfort from the presence of the animal. Mike watched them for a minute and then pointed to his own coffee mug. "Coffee?"
Steve shook his head. "No, no more coffee for me, not after the three cups of my aunt's strong coffee that she made me drink."
"Can I offer you a donut instead?" Mike tried again and waved a brown paper bag temptingly.
Once more all he got was a faint shake of the head, though Andy sniffed the bag with some interest. "Better give him a chunk before he claws the bag open!" Steve advised. Andy jumped off his lap and onto Mike's desk where he started on his piece of donut. "The breakfast I had to eat was quite extensive."
"Good, your aunt is right; you can do with a bit of feeding up!"
Steve smiled painfully. "Her breakfast is actually quite nice, but I'm still full from last night and to be honest, I'm not feeling great…" He rubbed his stomach and winced.
Mike looked up with some concern. For Steve to admit he wasn't well… He noticed that his partner was indeed paler than usual. "Buddy boy, do you want to go back home? You really don't look all that hot…"
"No!" there was a hint of panic in Steve's voice. "I'm alright, but she made me Sauerkraut with sausages last night and I can't really digest cabbage so late at night…" He paused and rummaged in the paper bag he had brought with him. "I thought Andy might like the sausages. She made me a sandwich for lunch…" Two pointy black ears pricked up at the mention of his name and the nose turned towards the brown bag. "I take this as a yes." Steve opened up the sandwich, put it on the floor and watched the cat lifting pieces of sausage with his nimble paw.
"You'd better clean up the mess on the floor after your friend has finished his third breakfast." Mike admonished. "Talking of cleaning up after your furry friends, here comes Ed Brown, probably to tell you that your hamster has found his way into Ironside's chili!"
Ironside's sergeant greeted them friendly and threw an apologetic look at Andy. After all he had unjustly suspected him of murder – of Bobby's murder.
"Morning, soldier! How's Steve's hamster?"
"Oh, Bobby's fine, thanks. But I ask myself where Steve got him. San Quentin?"
It made Steve smile for the first time in a long time. He suspected something...
"Why? What has he done to earn such a punishment?" the Lieutenant wanted to know.
"Oh, nothing. But I assume he's the king of the kings of escape among the hamsters. I don't mind him eating wires and chair legs, but yesterday he nibbled at my new trousers!"
Steve grinned openly now. At least someone else had to bear his fair share of the consequences of Mathilde's visit! "Sorry to hear it! Listen, my aunt is very good at patching clothes. Do you want me to ask her to take care of your pants?"
Ed looked relieved. "That would be very kind of her, thanks!"
This was a great opportunity to keep aunt Mathilde busy, thought Steve. "Why don't you come down for dinner tomorrow night, I'm sure she would love to feed you up a little."
Mike was of the opinion that they could not spend all day chatting about Steve's aunt and hamsters. "Her cooking is great, but you didn't come here because of Steve's hamster, did you?"
"No. It's because of that serial murder in Mission. We were at mortuary and the Chief is of the opinion that the bodies have something in common: There is a faint smell of Whiskey. Ironside says that it might be Jack Daniel's. I can't smell a thing, but you know the Chief – if he says so you better believe him. He wants the lab to get samples of the clothes of the victims and get an analysis of the alcohol. He wants homicide to take care of it."
Mike promised to deal with that problem and Ed left merrily, looking forward to a free meal which might for once not be interrupted by an urgent case.
* He will be even more in Ironside S7 "Riddle at 24,000"