It's after midnight and I can't sleep, so here's an update.
Song lyrics are in italics
The car journey to Weatherfield General was unbearable.
Neither one of them spoke to each other as Peter started the ignition and it wasn't long before they were caught up in a hefty traffic jam. The radio was switched on by Peter in an attempt to make the horrendous silence between them a little more tolerable , This idea did not work very well as every single station that Peter could find, seemed to be playing a soppy love song and eventually he had given up trying to find something more upbeat.
As Mariah Carey's voice filled the empty noise in the car it began to become clear to Peter that turning on the radio was not a smart idea.
"When you left I lost a part of me, it's still so hard to believe, come back baby, please cause we belong together"
The song lyrics had instantly hit home and Peter switched stations again, this time an Ed Sheeran song was playing and even though it was another slow ballad, Peter left it on because he quite liked this particular song.
"And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now"
Carla leant forward and switched the radio off. She sniffed hard and looked out the window hoping that Peter would just leave them be in silence because she knew that all it took was for the radio to play one song, for her to hear one specific lyric and she'd be screwed.
"I was listening to that." Peter said gruffly with his hands firmly grasped on the steering wheel
"No you weren't" Carla sighed
"And how do you know?" Peter asked looking at her irritatedly and turning the radio back on "If you don't like it, you can make your own way to the hospital" He said, he'd only put the radio back on to annoy Carla and she knew it.
They were both sat so close to each other yet the space in between them felt as if they were miles apart. It was almost as if they were just two strangers who just happened to have a load of distant memories.
Peter felt his phone start vibrating in his pocket he pulled it out and sighed when he saw the name that was on screen. "Here, I'm guessing Michelle doesn't want to talk me" he said Carla sighed, took the phone off of him and answered it with
"Yes Chelle, What is it?" Peter rolled his eyes and looked out at the never-ending line of traffic ahead. "Chelle I don't want to talk now to be honest" Carla said biting her nail again "Yeah well that can't be helped can it… Look just tell Nick I'll call him when I can okay!" Carla hung up the phone and handed it back to Peter. "I left me bag in the Rover's so I'm guessing that's why Michelle called you." She said, almost glad that she didn't have her phone because she could only imagine that Nick would be bombarding her right now with tonnes of calls and messages.
"Let me guess... Nick's not happy that you've run off with your ex eh?" Peter said
"Not really, No" Carla said bluntly she looked down at her pink nail varnish as if she suddenly hated it.
"I get it y'know" Peter said edging the car forward slightly as the traffic moved just barley, Carla looked up and turned her head
"Get what?"
"Nick, I couldn't understand at first but now... I get it" Peter said there was a slight pause as if had been expecting to Carla to speak but she just continued to stare at him "He's a safe bet" Peter began "He's not got any vices like me that's for sure and He's got a successful business that's he's not gonna run into the ground like I did"
"Can we not Peter" Carla said sighing,
"What? I'm just trying to make conversation." Peter said
"Yeah well, I preferred the silence" Carla lied.
Carla didn't want to listen to Peter comparing his self to Nick, It was too awkward and too painful, it made her realise that what she felt for Nick even though it was only the beginning for them, was nothing compared to what she'd felt for Peter.
Before Carla had even got with Peter and he was still with Leanne, she was besotted with him. She'd spent all her time thinking about him, thinking of being with him and wishing he felt the same way about her. When he finally did confess his feelings towards her, Carla felt as if she would never feel pain again and Peter's love made her feel so safe.
Carla sat there and thought about how she felt about Nick.
She had to admit that she was very fond of him and she knew that he adored her. He treated her like a Queen and they never argued, not even once. Carla had probably had about thirty arguments with Peter in their first month alone but that was just the way they worked. Their relationship was fiery and explosive, they had gotten used to being able to argue with each other one minute and be in bed together the next.
It wasn't anything like that with Nick, being with Nick was different.
It was nice.
Carla hated the word nice but that's really what it was like with Nick. It was peaceful and other than his slightly crazy family there was no real drama. Carla wasn't used to living that kind of life and if she was being honest she sort of missed the unpredictability that being with Peter could bring.
Being with Nick was almost like being on holiday, Carla had the opportunity to do new things with someone she really cared about and it was all a lot of fun, that's the thing with holidays though, You always have to go back home in the end.
Carla then thought about how her and Nick had first got together.
It was really sweet at the time, They were just at her place watching TV and messing about when he kissed her, It felt wonderful and it was comforting for Carla to be in the arms of someone who genuinely cared for her again but She never had that raw sexual magnetism that she'd had with Peter and as she sat stiffly next to him in his car, she wasn't entirely sure that attraction had completely gone away.
Peter had kept quiet with his brown eyes fixated on the road, even though they were stationary for most of the time and caught up in a long line of cars that didn't seem to be going anywhere.
Even when not looking at her, Peter was always able to tell when Carla was deep in thought and as the radio started playing Stay By Rihanna, she was quickly brought back to the reality of where she was.
Carla took a deep breath, as the song that was now playing was one that she had had much experience with. It was a song that she had listened to over and over again and it had become one of those tracks that instantly reminded her of Peter.
The piano, the voice and the lyrics made a lump form in Carla's throat, She gulped trying to make it feel better but it made her feel short of breath instead and suddenly Peter looked at her bewitchingly, just as the voice on the radio sang
"He said if you dare come a little closer"
Carla was immensely glad that at that moment they were both strapped into their seats by a seat belt. She looked down at her lap and inhaled slowly as Peter turned his intense gaze back onto the road. The sky began to grow dark and the traffic started to move slightly as the emotional song continued to echo around the car, All Carla wanted to do was turn it off but she didn't want to risk irritating Peter again. He had enough to deal with ,without her being bossy and trying to takeover his car. She tried desperately hard to ignore the music but as the chorus began she knew she was slowly losing control of the situation and the calmness that she had been trying so hard to hold on to was slowly fading.
"Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move, makes me feel like I can't live without you, it takes me all the way, I want you to stay…"
The tension in the car grew more and more excruciating for the pair as they moved forward slowly and eventually they got to a red light. Peter stopped the car and still made sure his eyes were firmly fixed on the road, not at the captivating passenger that was in the seat next to him. She was literally centimetres away from him, it was tormenting him that she was sat there and he wasn't allowed to touch her.
She wasn't his anymore.
Once the light had turned green again and Peter had driven off to join the line of traffic that had stopped further up, Carla cleared her throat as if she was about to say something only she stopped
"Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving"
The song lyrics spoke volumes about their relationship.
Both of them had their own issues, issues that they had helped each other deal with. At one point they were both broken souls but when they were together it felt as if they were finally whole and they were meant to be forever.
As the song came to an end Carla and Peter both prayed there would be some sort of happy, upbeat pop song on next.
Unfortunately the station Peter had put on seemed to be on a mission to make this simple car journey as agonizing as possible and Sam Smith's Leave Your Lover started playing instead. Peter struggled not to feel a connection to the lyrics that were being sung into the silence, between him and Carla.
"You'll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain, or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name. Pack up and leave everything, don't you see what I can bring, can't keep this beating heart at bay, set my midnight sorrow free, I will give you all of me, just leave your lover, leave him for me"
Peter fought back the tears, leant forward and switched of the radio furiously. He did it so suddenly that it had made Carla jump. She looked at him agitatedly and he finally looked back at her too.
How could two people who used to talk to each other everyday, just sit there and say nothing?
Their devastating exchange only lasted for a few torturous seconds before they heard the sound of a horn come from behind and it startled them both. Peter returned his focus to the road where the traffic had seemed to move on considerably.
Now that he had turned off the radio, they were back in the deafening silence, although Peter was sure it had to be better than listening to songs that made him want to weep like a baby.
Carla on the other hand had given up trying not to cry and let a tear dribble down her cheek, Peter heard her give a little whimper and he felt as equally distraught but he just couldn't seem to get any words out. The traffic jam was slowly beginning to cease and they managed to get back en route to the hospital.
The weather soon decided to match their mood and a downpour soon arrived in Weatherfield, Peter switched on his wipers and as the raindrops pelted onto the windows he was thankful that it was at least a little more noisy in the car and they weren't in silence anymore.
Peter drove into the hospital car park and turned off the ignition. He sat still for a moment, not getting out of the car and just staring down at his lap. Carla watched him for a while,
"Peter?" she said comfortingly
"What if this is it? What if Deirdre?" His voice was hoarse, his face disturbed as he spoke
"Don't Peter" Carla said shaking her head and swallowing hard, the idea of not having Deirdre around was far too much to bare.
"What's me Dad gonna do without her?" Peter asked, shaking his head with tears in his eyes. Carla leant forward so she could look at him properly, She touched his arm absent-mindedly, It was only a light touch but it had been so long since she had touched him at all, that it felt like an electric shock to Peter.
"Your Dad is going to be fine and so is Deirdre okay. Come on let's go in and see them" Carla said encouragingly trying to be brave for Peter's sake. He nodded and got out of the car followed by Carla.
As they entered the hospital neither of them dared to look at each other, Peter had been told where to go and knew which ward that Deirdre was on, Carla followed him and they approached the lifts.
Peter leant forward and pressed the up button to summon the lift. They were the only ones waiting for it and as it arrived, Carla took a deep breath, the thought of getting into another confined space with Peter was pure torture.
The doors opened and the lift was empty, they both walked into it and then the doors closed leaving them inside and alone once more.