Carla stood outside Nick's flat, She was practically on tenterhooks and She hadn't even knocked on his door yet. It was almost half past nine at night and she was beginning to feel rather foolish for even assuming that Nick would be home, for all she knew could still be at the pub?

She had been lingering in the hall way of the building for almost five minutes now and this was mainly due to the fact that she really didn't know how Nick was going to react to her and Peter's kiss.

A part of her really didn't want to tell him about it but she knew that she had to. She knew she wouldn't be able to pretend that Peter's kiss hadn't had left a worrying effect on her and she also knew that lying wasn't really an option.

Carla and Nick had both gone into this relationship promising to always be honest with each other and she really didn't want to break that promise.

Carla thought about going home and calling Nick instead, maybe it would be easier if it wasn't face to face?

No, she couldn't do that.

She couldn't have this conversation with Nick over the phone.

Eventually Carla bit the bullet and knocked on Nick's door, the same way she always did when she would just casually go from her flat to his.

With two long taps and two short ones.

It was a knock that Carla knew Nick would instantly recognise as hers and she was left there for an agonising moment before Nick eventually opened his door to her.

Carla took a deep breath as Nick appeared in his doorway.

Somehow seeing Carla being stood there had made Nick feel relieved and angry at the same time.

Carla waited cautiously for moment, as if she had of expected to Nick to just invite her in. He didn't, he just stood there foolishly, staring at Carla.

"Can I come in?" She asked apprehensively

"If you want." Nick said moving out of the way so Carla could enter his flat. She went inside it and hung around in his living room awkwardly. It was as if she hadn't been there plenty of times before. Nick's flat should have been a familiar place for Carla to be, yet somehow she felt as if this was the first time she had come over.

Nick clicked the door shut and walked over to his sofa, He sat on it and turned off the television, which he hadn't been watching anyway. Carla went and sat next to him warily. He waited with bated breath, obviously waiting for her to speak first. Carla didn't know where to begin and dithered helplessly so eventually Nick sighed and asked

"So… where have you been then?" Carla gulped, she knew that she definitely didn't want to make her and Nick's relationship a dishonest one, but how could she tell him that she had kissed someone else? and not just someone else but someone who she had a whole lot of history with, someone who had been on her mind since she had left him in his car, only moments ago.

"I was at the hospital..." She started and Nick's almost angry expression turned into a concerned one when he had heard the word hospital. "I'm fine, it's Deirdre, She's been in there a week now." Carla told

"Oh right" Nick said solemnly, as much as he disliked it, he knew how much Carla had loved Peter's family, in fact he was pretty sure that she liked them better than his own one. "So... what's wrong with Deirdre then?"

"She's very ill..." Carla said trying to keep from crying again "They said they don't know how long she has left, which is why I were in such a rush earlier… I realise it's no excuse for running out on you like that Nick but I just couldn't think straight..." Carla had tears in her green eyes, Nick moved closer to her and took her hand gently

"I'm really sorry to hear about Deirdre Carla, but you have no idea the things I was thinking… you running off and getting into his car like that" Nick said softly "I was so angry at first but I understand... you two have history and I get that, I also know that you care a lot about Deirdre... I just wish you would have told me sooner... I was sitting here going out of my mind thinking that you and Peter… Well it doesn't matter now" He said giving Carla half a smile "You're back here with me now, where you belong." Carla inhaled deeply and knew that she should just be one hundred per cent honest with Nick. She swallowed hard and shook her head at him

"Nick… I can't sit here and pretend like nothing happened with Peter at the hospital tonight..." She began, Nick who still had hold of her hand looked back at her nervously

"So... What did happen then?"

"We kissed" Carla said bluntly, beating round the bush would get her nowhere in this situation. She was simply too tired and overcome with emotions to be stringing this conversation out any longer.

Nick nodded.

He actually nodded at Carla, in this rather accepting and understanding way that made Carla wonder if Nick had actually understood what she had just said, so she then went, "Nick, did you hear me? Me and Peter kissed"

"I heard" Nick said slowly, Carla watched him speechlessly for a moment and then said

"Say something then."

"It was just a kiss right?" Nick asked, still so eerily calm about things and still holding Carla's hand tightly. She nodded

"Yeah..." She said almost a little disappointed at how rational Nick was being about what he had just been told.

Carla thought that it would at least have been better if Nick had shouted at her or maybe if he had pushed her aside and didn't give her a chance to explain.

Maybe it would have kept Carla from feeling so guilty if Nick had of been horrible to her.

The way Nick was just sat there on the sofa not showing any real emotion, had unsettled Carla a little. He was quiet for a while longer and then he eventually came out with

"And it was just the once?" He wasn't quite meeting Carla's eye as he spoke, she nodded at him and said

"Honestly Nick, it was one kiss, in the lift... We had a rough journey to the hospital n we were both so upset... I think it were just something that we both needed to get out of our system that's all." Carla said although she wasn't too sure if she even believed what she was saying, let alone Nick. He nodded again and looked at Carla properly now.

"I understand." He said, stunning Carla into silence again "As I said you two have a lot of history and I know that there must be some sort of emotional attraction there..." Carla listened to what Nick was saying, by the sincere look on his face and the soft tone of his voice you would think that Nick truly did understand the situation but Carla knew that he couldn't even begin to understand what was going on in her mind.

Carla also realised that she still didn't know Nick very well. They had only been together for four months and because they had never really argued or even bickered with each other, Carla just couldn't be sure whether Nick was just pretending to be calm or not.

"Are you not mad?" Carla asked, still taken aback by Nick's behaviour, he paused and then shrugged

"I'm… pissed yes... and disappointed yes, but the fact that you have come back here and been honest with me about this, shows me that I probably have nothing to worry about" Nick said "I mean... did you plan on kissing him?" He asked Carla shook her head

"No it were just out of the blue." She said because it truly was, although she couldn't be sure that Peter hadn't planned it.

"Well then, had it been something you had been thinking about, something that you had intended on doing then I might have been angry but... I cant be mad about an accident can I?" Nick said, Carla couldn't help but feel a little irritated when Nick said the word accident but she had tried to keep a straight face.

Was it really an accident? She had tried to think back to when it had happened and if she could have prevented Peter's lips from meeting hers.

Guilt suddenly began rising in Carla's body again because there she was again getting lost in this so called unexpected kiss. She looked down at her chipped fingernails and said quietly

"I don't know what to say?" she was still in awe of Nick's reaction and still unable to shake off the feeling of Peter's touch.

"Look... I can see that this kiss has made you feel incredibly guilty and I'm willing to look past it... As long as I know it won't happen again y'know... maybe you should just stay away from Peter..." Nick said now watching Carla closely. She swallowed anxiously but Nick didn't even give her a chance to reply before saying "Carla, I really don't want to lose you over one little mistake." Nick said, Carla couldn't help but feel as if Nick was the one making all the excuses, like he was the one fighting for their relationship and not her. It made her feel even more ashamed and she could tell that he really meant every word he was saying to her. Carla knew a decent man like Nick was hard to come by and that she should have felt unbelievably lucky to him so she leant in and kissed him gently on the lips, but after she had done it she wondered if it might have seemed a little half hearted, not that Nick had noticed though.

"You're amazing." Carla said to him shyly "I really don't deserve you."

"Yes you do... Come on..." Nick insisted, putting an arm around Carla lovingly "Come n have a little hug, It's been a rough night for you n you look exhausted." Carla leant into Nick albeit a little stiffly.

She had felt incredibly mean for acting like this with Nick, She hated how earlier she had been thinking that being with Nick was "just" nice. He really treated her well and he had made her feel loved especially when they had first got together.

As Nick switched on the Tv again and held her close, Carla tried to act normal but there were still a few things about this situation that concerned her.

Could she really have promised Nick that she could stay away from Peter? Nick had interrupted her before she even had the chance to answer him convincingly, maybe deep down he didn't think Carla could do it either.

Nick's reaction to the kiss still really bothered Carla too.

There he was with the information that she had kissed her ex and yet he wasn't shouting, he wasn't flying off in a jealous rage, which judging by Nick's past, was something that Carla had been expecting from him. Nick kept asking her if she was okay to which Carla just nodded but as the night went on, her emotions seriously began to trouble her.

Why did she feel so disappointed that Nick had remained so calm?

Why did she think it would have been easier for her if Nick had of shouted and had of broken up with her?

Why she keep thinking about Peter?

Why did she keep thinking about the feeling of his lips on hers?

And why did she desperately long for them to be there again?

I'm going on holiday for a week on Sunday,

so unfortunately they'll be no

update for this fic until

I'm back :)