At my fifteen birthday I noted I couldn´t remember when exactly was the last time I was with Ater.

It was a strange feeling. On one hand I was pleased with myself. It meant I was independent, mature enough to not rely so much on talking to someone, leaving him to attend to his own business.

On the other, I felt a bit guilty. Before he, after all, went to visit me just to see me when I didn´t come to him . He wanted to be with me.

And the third part, I felt a bit sad because he stopped coming.

Well yes, it was almost summer and all, we both had a lot to do around that time. But we went to see each other.

Now it was nor me, nor him.

I had to amuse myself with the other ones my age or older, but it just wasn´t the same. They were my childhood friends as well, yes, but none as close as Aterulmen was. With nobody other I could speak as freely, argue as freely... play as freely, any kind of game. Or simply sit by each other and do nothing, as we sometimes did. There were times that words weren´t necessary and there was no boredom. It was as if I could never be bored by him...

Although... I have to admit it was a bit more tense than before.

Since winter...Those few times we met he was much quieter than he used to be, heat radiating from his side which I leaned to. He never pulled away, but I indeed felt him tense up when he saw more than he should had, after which I immediately covered up. I ceased to touch him much, because that would give me the same reaction.

Surely I couldn´t ignore the fact he was a adult male now, adults were the same human or not. It was just a natural reaction.

...To what?

Lately I caught myself examining in the mirror how I looked, when undressing.

Just when did I got THIS? I puzzled, looking over. I was still a bit ashamed to look at everything, but studying my height and body frame harms nobody, does it? And nobody caught me behind locked door.

It indeed began to resemble an adults one. It still wasn´t all developed as I wanted it, but I liked it so far. I had nice legs, at least...

Gosh, Gwen. A really useful thing to think over. Yes, so I had. So?

Another thought flied by- how did others like me?

At this point I shook it away – I really did not need to know it.

Or did I?

Seriously, just what exactly had stirred my friend so when he saw it? It could have been my scent too, of course, but I doubt it. He himself said he was used to it and it did nothing more to him than before. So yes, it was sights.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, what to I have to tense him all?

…...

The day after I had nothing much to do, so I got up earlier, did my chores and checked, if he was out now.

In the mornings they usually had a hunt, but it was when I was still asleep. The sooner, the better, so they had to be done by now.

I gathered my things, got up and carefully slipped away and out into the forest.

It was a warm day, fresh morning. Not too cold but not too hot either, just perfect. The day I liked the most.

Without thinking much or looking on the way I went on a billion times I ended up on the meadow, the once-training ground for Aterulmen, spotting a fallen tree.

Fallen? No; chopped down tree. He obviously was there the day before or so.

Claws landed on my shoulders and I squeaked, jumping up.

,,You should have seen your face,´´ I heard behind me, finding a smirking Ater there.

,,You jerk ! I almost jumped out my own skin!´´ I punched his arm humorously.

,,Sorry, ma´am, it was far too tempting,´´ he laughed at ease, sitting down on the tree and tapping the place beside him. I flung myself down, examining my seat.

,,Did you do this?´´

,,Why, yes,´´ he said smugly, grinning. ,,in one quick motion.´´

,,I should be afraid, eh?´´

,,No, no, no. We never hurt our females,´´ he responded, sideways glancing on me. Teasing. He expected I'd snap or be ashamed.

This time I didn´t stay quiet, I grinned back.

,,Oh, you consider me your female?´´

This time HE stayed quiet. I relished in that slight embarrassment.

,,Well, you´re a female... and in a way, you´re mine... so yes.´´

Again he glanced on me, this time only for a while and looked away immediately.

,,Oh really. What a thing to hear.´´

He rolled eyes, after which I stuck out a tongue at him, holding up chin.

,,You know, this what you just did is considered a kind of challenge among our own,´´ he smirked, eying me.

,,Well what did I just challenged you for?´´ I laughed.

,,Mating games.´´

HOW I HATE THOSE AWKWARD SILENCES. Especially when the other one is chuckling, trying to cover it.

,,Why didn´t you tell me earlier?´ ´ I snapped, punching his side.

,,You didn´t ask,´´ he replied, nasty face on.

Another punch, but this time he stopped my hand on a claw.

,,No worries, you didn´t knew, so I´m not taking it seriously.´´

There was a flash of a sad smile, but it was quickly gone. So quickly I could maybe just imagine it.

I stopped eying him too, then quite experimentally threw leg over leg, pulling up skirt a bit.

He twitched, swallowing , but not looking on me.

,,How was the hunt?´´

,,Err, good... we have to feed some young there, so a lot of soft meat.. kind of boring.´´

,,What would amuse you?´´ I asked innocently, leaning forward to him.

As I expected, heat radiated even at this distance.

,,You already do...´´

,,Really? Isn´t there anything else?´´ I asked, pulling on his cape from the side.

,,Stop playing with me. ´´

It was a low, ragged, serious growl, one I haven´t heard from him before, and he pushed me away immediately. And I knew he didn´t mean the clothing.

,,Sorry... I´m sorry, really! It was just a silly thing from me,´´ I said in a pleading voice.

In a while he calmed down, claws still outstretched and placed on my shoulder.

,,It´s alright, as long as you... just... don´t do it. It´s unnerving. You know I´m not a child.´´

I blushed.

,,I only wanted to see your reaction.´´

,,Well, congratulations on handling it, now stop if you´re not serio... don´t. Just... don´t.´´

He couldn´t even manage to be sarcastic, he was taken aback that much.

Well, I indeed do have some natural woman powers , eh?

…...

One day when it was all sunny and warm and all I actually stayed indoors with mom and granny while dad and brother went out to play. Quite literally.

,,Those men,'' mom sighed, looking on them through the window, how they rolled in the grass. ,,one can never understand them. One while like kids, another grave serious.''

,,Indeed,'' I sighed, staring out into nothing.

,,You know Gwen, I don't quite understand your father even through all the years I live with him. I bet I never will completely.''

I lifted up head.

,,Are you content with him?''

,,I am. Very,'' she smiled. ,,why?''

I eyed her for a while.

,,Curious. Did you come here to the edge of the forest because you married?''

,,Yes. Theo lived here… so I came as well.''

,,And weren't you scared? You know, since it is so close to the forest and your previous house was so far.''

,,Scared? I was terrified at first! I couldn't sleep at night. I had to curl against Theo. Although after it was alright.''

I grinned.

,,When was the time you stopped being afraid?''

She thought for a while.

,,When I got pregnant with you, so I recall. It wasn't long after. You we're always so brave, even when not born yet,'' she smiled.

,,Oh. You felt me?''

,,Of course. Every move! You used to kick like crazy. Gave me some headaches.''

I laughed, then stopped, looking up at her.

,,You want to ask something more, don't you?''

,,Why do you think?'' I smiled innocently.

,,I know you that well. So?''

,,Uh, does it hurt? Birth,'' I shrugged. I was curious about it and since we were at that theme…

,,It wasn't that bad as I expected, although you sure took your time. It was three hours of uncomfortable feelings. Otherwise no, not as much.''

,,And how about first time?''

This fell out of my mouth without any considering of the thought. Right after I turned bright red, looking away. Just why did I ask?

,,Gwen, Gwen. It's a bit too soon for you for that.''

,,I- I know, I… I'm also young to give birth and I asked, right? I'm just curious. Better be curious than sorry, right?''

Gwen, STOP BLABBERING! SHUT UP!

,,That much true… well… I heard it's different for everyone. I guess it only depends on who you are with.''

I blushed a darker shade. I literally felt the hot cloud at my head, floating around.

,,Gweeeen, don't tell me you've been thinking about someone right now?'' she glared surpiciously.

,,No!''

Yes. I was. But that… just no. How would that EVER work?

,,Yes, you were… I can see it.''

Goddamn it.

,,It just went through my head. I'm not serious.''

Unfortunately...

,,Gwen, be careful. Be careful.''

I am… I am. When I am not playing with him…