Chapter Eighteen

The Depressing Pack

Seth

I awoke close to Embry who snored with a bottle still clutched in his hand. I remembered the Embry of a few weeks ago it seemed so long ago now. The Pack was not only devided with Jacob drinking to relive the pain, but with fear of the others losing their imprints. I was the only one who hadn't imprinted the only one so far unaffected by what was going on, the only one not either taking care of an imprint or morning for their loss, the only one who has to pick up the slack of a pack of five as to not show Sam's pack weakness.

I groaned and stood up, I heard crying in the other room and went to get Alex. Leah was sound asleep on the chair in front of the cradle. I smiled and gently put a blanket over her before picking up Alex. "Hello Alex are you hungry?" He nodded and I smiled. "Well then lets get you some food."

"Mo'ie." He said and I nodded.

"Maybe after we eat." I replied and poured two bowls of cereal. Well mine was much larger then Alex but everything here was werewolf sized. He looked at the bowl and the small amount I had poured for him in distaste before plunging his spoon downward. I smiled as he ate messily watching him while I devoured my own food he was without a doubt an adorable child. I smiled at him and picked him up.

We went to the couch together and I put in a movie that Leah had gotten from the Cullens. Alex watched cars seemingly delighted by it and I smiled surveying my pack huddled close together snoring. We needed to be close to each other for comfort now and I smiled down at Embry, he used to wear the most outlandish nightwear to surprise us but now he was sleeping only in his jeans I felt sorry for him and for his loss but he was dragging down the pack as much as Jake. I needed to get away from here, go into town or go cliff diving, I needed something to distract me from what was happening. Yes cliff diving would be good.

I smiled and got out my trunks Alex held up his hands and I shook my head. "Sorry Alex Leah would kill me if I let you cliff dive with me." I told him and rocked him in my arms, his eyes were closing and opening as I rocked him and closing again. I smiled as he finally fell asleep remembering the first time I had held him how I and Leah had both been terrified that I would drop him. I went back to the cradle and laid him in it. He turned on his side and sighed one little hand becoming out flung as he slept. I backed out of the room and started to run through the forest to the cliffs and the ocean.

I stood on the beach a moment before climbing up, my feet were hardened by the different weather and my wolf form and I could barely feel the rocks as I climbed up and dove off the top of the rock. It felt so good to be in the water, to swim to shore, other things would change but this would always remain the same. The cold water the rush of air, the smell of the ocean all calmed me more then I had been in days, I decided that I would force Embry to come with me once he awoke. With that I got up out of the water and started running to Jake's house.

I saw that Embry was up and drinking out of the bottle. "I can't believe she left me." He murmured and took another gulp of the drink whatever it was.

"Come cliff diving with me Embry." I said. "You need something to keep your mind off of her." He nodded and then muttered something under his breath I was sure I was not supposed to hear.

"Maybe I should just drown myself." I turned him towards me made him look into my eyes.

"That isn't the Embry I know, the guy who always jokes about everything, the guy that is always planning some practical joke or another. The man who is determined to shock the pack with his sense of dress. No this is not my pack brother, the person I felt as though I could always turn to, this is a shell that wears his body. You need to recover from it, its tearing the pack apart as Jake is."

"Don't you think I don't know that? I feel so broken inside!" He said and then he was sobbing leaning against me as I padded him aqwardly on the back.

"Its alright Embry, she will come back, I am sure of it. Emily told us that the bond affects them too remember?" I asked him and he nodded. "Now lets have some fun." I said and punched him lightly on his shoulder. He nodded and we ran together to the cliffs, I watched him carefully as he dove and smiled when I saw that his face became more relaxed as he jumped, it had affected him as I had been affected becoming more relaxed as we jumped.

I smiled at Embry and I had hope for the first time in a week that he would return to us, as he was before he had met Abigale. I let him clap me on the back and saw the hint of a smile before it died. "Thank you Seth, I felt almost happy again, even though there is a hole inside of me where she should be, an empty void."

"I want nothing more then the pack to go back to the way it used to be." I told him. "It is so hard being the only sane one." He laughed.

"You mean the only one without an imprint don't you? You should be more insane then sane. Not allowed to love anyone and then when you finally find her she is taken from you."

"I understand that you are upset but that doesn't mean that you should give up on life." I told him. "There will be other women."

"No there is only Abigale for me, she was mine." Embry said. "She would have loved me as Emily loves Sam if I had not messed up somehow, but I do not know what I have done wrong so until I do I cannot go to her and beg her forgiveness tell her that I will never do it again. I thought I was doing everything in my power to make her love me, but she feared me instead. She ran from me and I do not know how to get her to return to me."

"I do not know what you have done my pack brother and brother of minds. It seemed as though it was nothing great enough to force her away." I said to him and he nodded.

"You make me feel briefly as I did before she came." He said and I put an arm around him. We walked back together to the house and to the pack, Quil had returned from visiting Claire and Paul was leaning against the counter smiling as Rachel prepared dinner for the pack, his expression that of the truly besotted. I smiled and sat down at the kitchen table and smiled at her.

"Hi Rach." I say and she grins.

"How is my littlest wolf boy?" She asked and Paul growled. "Don't worry Polly you'll always be my favorite wolf, grey is such a manly color." I smiled she knew how to rile him up and tame him again it was a game she played, a dangerous game but they both seemed to enjoy it. They both had a certain amount of temper to put it mildly and I was surprised at how she had not transformed into the wolf because she certainly had the personality for it.

"Good Rach, a bit hungry but other then that pretty good." She nodded and suddenly her arms were around me, I blushed at the contact and Paul growled angry that she was hugging someone else.

"You can all tell me anything and everything you want, I want to be here for you."

"You are." I replied and she smiled at me. I smelled the food. "However you also might be burning dinner." She laughed happily and went back to stirring. I smiled as she finished and put a plate in front of Jacob before serving everyone else. I stared at Jacob as he looked at the food without eating I sat beside him and ate it making sounds of pleasure controlling myself not to bolt down the food. Jacob finally picked up the spoon but only ate half of it, Embry had gone back to the abandoned bottle and was swigging from it his meal abandoned. I finished my food and drank water with a single sleeping pill wanting to leave the world of pain that was infesting the pack and destroying it.