Hey EverLarks,
It has come to my attention that I have made heaps of mistakes with dates and stuff cause first I said Katniss was 3 months into her pregnancy but now she is suddenly 6 months! So she is 6 months same with Johanna. Also with Katniss' mum I said she would be the midwife but Sage (Dr Ravens-wood) is gonna be the midwife, but I might organise something with Katniss' mum helping. Also I know there is still unresolved tension between Katniss' mum and her so we will work on their relationship.
xx
PeetaKatnissEverLark
"I think her name is beautiful." My mother says as we fold the clean washing together, later that night.
"Thanks mum." I say with a smile. There is some silence.
"I wish I was there for you more." She says. I don't say anything.
"I wish I was there for you after your Father died, when Prim died, when you had children." She says. I nod.
"I know." I say.
"I am so truly sorry." She says. I place my had on hers.
"I know mum." I repeat. Then continue folding in silence.
"When Prim was reaped, my heart stopped. I knew that you would volunteer and I just thought. 'I missed my chance. I missed my chance of being able to be there for you. to regain your trust.' And I regret leaving you so much and I will always hate myself for that, Katniss. And I am so so sorry." She says, she is crying. I pull her into a hug and we both sob in silence.
"I know mum. I know."
"No Katniss, you don't get to say that you know, that you understand because you don't and looking at you with your children, I know that if Peeta died you would never leave you children because you are such a good mother." She says Sobbing more. I don't say anything.
"I'm sorry I didn't get a job after dad died, I am sorry I stayed in bed all day as you would scream at me to help because Prim was starving, I wish I was there for you during your first reaping. And I am such a horrible Mother to you, to Prim. And you shouldn't forgive me. Because I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I love you, and although it didn't look like it I always did. I was sick, But when Prim died I wasn't but I still left you, because I couldn't handle it. But that added to the long list of my mistakes. I never got the chance to be a Mother to Prim because I wasn't there for her, because I was too late. But I loved her. And I loved you. Please remember that. " She says.
"I love you too." Is all I say because I don't know what I should say. And we just cry. She just mumbles I am sorry over and over again and I tell her it isn't her fault.
"The day Prim died, I was in the hospital treating a patient with really bad burns from working in the kitchen, and I was so scared for you. Because you were at war and they didn't tell me what was happening, then the broadcast came on saying you were dead and I didn't know what to think. But Prim came up to me crying and hugging me and I remember the words exactly. She said. 'Why? Why does this happen Mother. Why?' And I was holding onto her so tight, but she slipped away. She told me She got promoted and I thought she meant she was promoted to be a nurse or something but she was promoted to go into the field and I should have stopped her. But I didn't know." She cries. I just comfort her.
It's the best thing I can do.
"And I blame myself for that happening. And I left. But you were there you saw her you saw the bombs, and I knew you would have blamed yourself, thinking that if you were fast enough you could have saved her. I shouldn't have left, I am so sorry." She says.
OKAY SORRRRRRY BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS CONVERSATION WAS NEEDED AND I AM CRYING SO BAD RN.
xx
PeetaKatnissEverLark