Chapter 13

It had happened unexpectedly; she'd been ripped from her life in that strange town that she'd just recently had started calling 'home'. At first she had no idea what was going on; she started fighting the magic. She didn't know where it came from or who'd cast it but something didn't feel quite right. For just an instant it felt like Tinker Bell was flying but then she panicked because she couldn't, she didn't have any wings nor did she have a simple spark of magic left inside. She had lost faith and she'd paid the price. She had spent too much time in the presence of Hook and Pan and the Lost Boys; it had been enough to drain her of any spark of hope that there might have been a long time ago.

The fairy was struggling and suddenly she fell. She hit the ground with a loud thud, crying out as the air was knocked out of her. She wasn't prepared and she couldn't even slow down the fall. Her breath was raging, her lungs aching. The ground was hard and cold and it was dark. It took a couple of seconds before she was collected enough to open her eyes. She smelled it before she saw it; she was in a forest. Suddenly, all her senses sprung alive. She didn't know what kind of forest this was and which creatures inhabited these woods; she listened closely, trying to calm down. She was certain that the beating of her heart would give her away sooner or later. She wouldn't even be able to protect herself in case of an attack. Slowly, she lifted herself off the ground, her gaze wandering. The moonlight fell through the trees, lightening a small path. She didn't know where this would take her but staying here was out of question. She was familiar with the woods; she had lived in a tree house in Neverland but back there, she knew what to look out for. She knew every tiny insect, every little danger that roamed the island. She hadn't had a reason to be afraid; most of the Lost Boys hadn't bothered about her, had considered her a fallen and useless fairy.

She quietly walked along the path without the slightest idea where it would take her, something seemed oddly familiar but she just couldn't figure out why. In the dark of the night, everything tree looked the same to her.

If only I had my wings, she thought. She could fly above the tree tops and look at the land she'd been brought to against her will. She wouldn't be wandering through unknown forests, angry at herself. If she hadn't been so stupid such a long time ago, she certainly wouldn't be in that dilemma. She had been angry for so long, she had been disappointed. Not even with Regina, but with herself.

Tinker Bell had lost faith in herself.

During her time in Neverland, she had gone through so many what-ifs that it had nearly driven her insane. A part of her thought she hadn't been worth it, she had believed that she wasn't useful and that she had deserved all of this. She had blamed herself until she had reached a point where she didn't care any longer. She knew there hadn't been a way off the island, she didn't have her wings and she didn't have any pixie dust left. She had come to terms with the fact that she'd probably die on this island with no one around who'd actually shed a tear once she was gone.

The fairy had wandered to a deserted meadow until her feet refused to carry her any longer. She was tired and thirsty and it was starting to get real cold. There was not a single human-being in sight and no place that would give her shelter so she started collecting leaves and moss that would keep her warm through the night. She felt uneasy when she leaned against a rock, trying to fight sleep; she was trembling and afraid and she once again cursed herself for being so useless.

When Tinker Bell woke the next morning she heard birds singing; there was daylight but it was getting real cold. It was nearly November and she knew she needed to find shelter real soon or she'd freeze to death out here. She couldn't even light a fire at night because that would lead the predators right to her and she was as defenceless as a child. She had hardly ever used any kind of weapon, she had never learned to survive on her own; not like this. She had always relied on her wings and her magic.

Look where it got you, she whispered to herself when she left the meadow. The day passed slowly, time was dragging and she didn't encounter anyone who would be able to get her out of her misery. Finding something to eat hadn't been as easy as she'd thought. They were almost in deep winter and there were no berries or nuts to pick from the trees but at least she found a small river. She decided to wander along it, hoping that it would lead her to someone eventually.

Three days and three nights had passed when things started to change. Tink was tired, hungry and cold. The rain had started hours ago, soaking her clothes; leaving her chilled to the bone. She walked to the riverbank on tired feet to drink some water when she saw it.

It sent a shiver down her spine and she didn't even have enough time to scream when it attacked her. She wasn't quite sure if it was a bird or a monkey. It was a dark, screeching creature with deadly looking claws. She'd soon know how deadly and painful those could be when it clawed at her, digging its claws into her flesh.

The pain jolted through her body; her sight went black from the sudden pain that numbed her. She couldn't breathe or think, she couldn't even fight. She felt something warm run down the sides of her body; her sight was blurred but she knew that it was blood that stained her clothes. She willed herself not to give up quietly. She wasn't ready to die, not like this. She summoned the last bit of strength and started to fight the grip that this creature had on her and after minutes of struggle and agonizing pain it eventually lost its grip on her and suddenly Tinker Bell fell.

She couldn't see how high they'd been flying but she prayed that something would slow her down; that her bones wouldn't be shattered entirely when she hit the ground. The fairy put her hands on her face, trying to protect herself from the fall. She felt the branches that hit her, broke her skin. She was falling and it seemed never-ending.

The branches had slowed down most of her fall, not gently though. Every single nerve in her body was on fire. Her head was throbbing with pain, the cuts stinging. She lifted herself off the ground once more, listening. She was afraid the creature might return, she was wounded; what an easy prey. When she looked up, she could hardly see the sky. The trees were high and dense and she immediately cursed herself for not opening her eyes when the creature had lifted her in the air. At least she'd know where she needed to go or where exactly she had been taken. She wasn't in any condition to climb a tree and look for herself. As sad as it seemed, she suddenly appeared safest down here because the trees were so thick that she couldn't be seen and something told her that this flying thing didn't hunt on the ground.

The trees in this part of the forest were higher and thicker, the tree trunks wide and she knew she would find shelter in one of them. She knew she had seen these trees before when she found a hollow tree that seemed good enough to give her shelter. She wasn't in any position to be picky about her whereabouts so she ducked under the branches that had grown in front of the hole and leaned against the inside of the trunk.

She closed her eyes and suddenly the pain was overwhelming. Her head was throbbing, every part of her body was aching. The cuts stinging against the cold and the sticky warmth on the right side of the torso alarmed her, made her gaze in horror when she saw three deeps cuts that were still bleeding. She didn't know how much blood she had already lost but she knew she needed to stop it somehow. She tore apart of pieces of fabric that had once been a part of her dress and pressed it on the wounds. She screamed out in pain, sweat breaking out; it made her feel nauseous and weak but she tried to apply as much pressure as possible. She was panting and sweating when she remembered.

The Enchanted Forest, she thought and almost cried out with relieve. She suddenly felt a little safer if only these creatures weren't hunting her for some reason. She had never seen these before, didn't know where they came from. After a few minutes the sudden relieve turned into desperation and fear. She felt warm tears stream down her face; the pain was so excruciating that she could hardly move. She couldn't call out for help, could hardly walk. She quietly cried to herself until she blacked out. It was night when she woke for the first time. It was cold and she was shivering, she slowly lifted the cloth from the wound, wincing at the pain. It had eventually stopped bleeding but the cuts were so deep that she knew they wouldn't heal on their own.

In the dim moonlight, she saw the cuts and bruises that covered almost every part of her body. She knew it wouldn't end well if she didn't find any help very soon. When she woke again at the break of dawn, she was shivering in the cold of the morning but her skin was covered in sweat.

No, she whispered and felt fresh tears run down her face.

She didn't have any water, nothing clean to take care of the wounds and life was draining from her with every passing minute. The next couple of days passed in a haze, clouded by pain and sorrow. The fever was getting worse and she quietly cried to herself through closed eyes, tormented by hallucinations and nightmares. At some point she wished that she would simply die right there. The pain was more then she could bare and she didn't have any hope left. She had lost track of day and night, didn't know how long she'd been out here. She had a few moments when she panicked, when she didn't want to die. She dragged herself from her shelter in the tree, every bit of effort hurt. She shivered and it made her feel nauseous. She didn't get far but she might be found here at some point, someone must come by here she told herself. She lost consciousness on the damp ground of the forest.

She went back to Neverland in her wake moments, she talked to Regina and she flew so high that no one would ever catch her. She even heard people. Someone was calling her. An absent-minded smile crossed her lips but she never saw them coming. It all went black too fast.

***

"Hey," Regina whispered and sat down beside the bed. "Tink," she said softly and the fairie's eyes fluttered open for a second. "You're safe," Regina said and took her hand.

Tinker Bell listening, it seemed too exhausting to return from the place she'd been before. It was warm and soft and hardly painful. She wanted to open her eyes, wanted to see what was happening but it felt safe where she was.

Regina, Tinker Bell thought and the voice inside her head laughed. Tink knew she couldn't be here, last time she remembered she was in a forest and there was no way Regina was even remotely close. The Enchanted Forest, Tinker Bell remembered faintly. But how?

Suddenly she wanted to know what was happening so she forced her eyes open. Her sight was still blurred with sleep and effort but Regina was sitting right in front of her. Tink tried to take a deep breath, the pain inside her chest was still piercing. Regina took Tinker Bell's hand in hers, it was warm and soft.

"Careful," the brunette whispered. Tinker Bell wanted to speak but her throat was so dry that she could hardly breathe. "I'll get you some water," Regina said slowly lifted a cup of water to the fairies lips. She let the water fill her mouth, run down her dry throat. It had felt ages since she'd had water and it felt like heaven. It seemed like a miracle that rushed her senses alive. She took another deep breath, more careful this time. She was in a bed, covered in blankets with a fire crackling in the fireplace.

"What happened?" she whispered, her voice was raspy.

"I was hoping you'd tell me," Regina said quietly and Tinker Bell shook her head slowly. She was still trying to set the timeline right. She had lost track of the days, missing out on quite a few.

"Where are we?" she wanted to know.

"The Enchanted Forest," Regina told her and looked at her old friend. Tinker Bell felt a sudden relief because her memory hadn't betrayed her after all.

"But..." she started, trying to take a deep breath.

"How?" Regina helped. "Long story for another time. What matters is that you're here and you're safe and alive," Regina told her. Tinker Bell listened; maybe the last voices she'd heard hadn't been part of her hallucinations.

Tinker Bell looked around the room, her eyes wandering.

"Do you remember this?" Regina asked.

"Not sure," Tinker Bell said. "It all looks so familiar," she said and although talking was exhausting, she was glad about the distraction. One by one, her memories returned and she didn't want them in her mind just yet.

"You're in my room," Regina told her. "You came through that window," Regina said and pointed at it.

"You jumped," Tinker Bell said after a couple of seconds. If Regina wasn't mistaken, the slightest hint of a smile crossed her lips. As weak as she was, she still wouldn't let go. "Still trying to convince me you didn't?" she asked when Regina took her time.

"You'll never let this go, won't you?" Regina said.

"I know what I saw."

"You know I had my reasons," Regina admitted quietly.

"Ha, so you're admitting that you jumped!" she said and winced at the pain because she was getting a little too excited.

"Easy," Regina reminded her. "I used a lot of magic to put you back together," Regina said and Tinker Bell relaxed against the cushions as the pain faded.

"How long have I been here already?" she wanted to know.

"Eight or nine days," Regina told her. The truth was that she wasn't entirely sure because her own pain had consumed her so recklessly.

"Are you okay?" Tinker Bell asked after a couple of seconds. She was quieter; more concerned.

"Yes," Regina said a little too quick. "Yes, I am."

Tinker Bell knew she was lying; something was wrong but she knew she wouldn't stand a chance in a discussion at this point. This needed to wait.

"You don't look like it," Tinker Bell said. The last time she'd seen Regina in Storybrooke she had been stressed and they had just returned from Neverland and everything had been a mess but she hadn't looked this worn out and shattered.

"I'm fine," Regina said again but Tinker Bell didn't miss the fact that the brunette didn't look at her when she spoke those words. "I'll find Granny so she can have a proper look at your wounds, she's done a wonderful job so far," Tinker was surprised. First of all by how nicely Regina had talked about the old lady and by the fact that she was here as well.

"She's here?"

"We're all here," Regina said with a sudden hint of sadness that didn't go unnoticed by the fairy. "I'll find her," Regina said and got up from the bed. She left without looking back, she suddenly needed time to gather her thoughts by herself. She found Granny in the kitchen, that had been Regina's first place of choice since it was almost time for dinner. She let her know that Tink was awake and left before she could be involved in any kind of conversation.

She returned to her room, the one that she had made hers a few days ago. It was a small room at the end of the corridor, not too far from Robin's and Tinker Bell but the distance was just about enough for her. The room hadn't been used in years, not even when she'd still lived here. It was small and somewhat comforting and it had everything she needed. Somehow it didn't feel like she'd lose herself in here. It wasn't overflowing with memories and nightmares, it felt just right. She had taken time to clean it from cobwebs and dust; she didn't use her magic. It had distracted her and she'd gotten lost in her task if only for a while until she felt ready to settle. There was no mirror in this room and she was fine with it, she didn't need a reminder of how worn out she looked. She couldn't stand it at the moment.

The fire was lit when she'd walked in; the room was warm and comforting.

Thank you, she thought.

She knew Robin must've done it for her; he'd been hunting with the Merry Men and she hadn't seen him return. She wrapped herself in a warm wool coat and sat down by the fire. It was still snowing outside and everything had been covered in a thick, white blanket. It looked so peaceful, so undisturbed.

She had hated Tinker Bell for all she had done and it had nearly killed her in the end. She had hated her for saving her when she'd jumped because she'd wanted out of her miserable life. Tink had meant to help but Regina hadn't seen it years ago. She wondered how she had been so infuriated and afraid by the possibility of love.

He was watching her quietly, leaning against the doorframe. His soft, blue eyes were watching her and she admired his appearance quietly. He was wearing a tight shirt that covered his arms completely and she had to admit that he was quite handsome.

It must be real cold out there, she thought.

"I didn't know you were back already," she said quietly and he walked in.

"I've been back for a while," he said and sat down on the edge of her bed; facing her. "You were talking to Tinker Bell when I came to see you," he said. "I thought I'd give you some time," he said and she looked at him, wondering what he had heard. Regina got up from the chair and took his outstretched hand, sitting down on his lap. It was one of those days when she felt oddly drawn to him, unable to explain this sensation. She was craving his presence and she needed someone to hold on to.

"You really care about her," he said and she nodded.

"She saved me," Regina said quietly and he wiped a few hairs out of her face and gently tucked them behind her ear. He had heard that part of the conversation but he wouldn't question her about it now, it didn't feel right. Maybe it wasn't even his business for now.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her a little closer, she leaned into him and took a deep breath. She had actually missed him while he was gone. Somehow that feeling was new to her but it felt great now that he was back.

He inhaled the sweet scent of hers that he grew so accustomed to within the last couple of weeks; it was soothing and familiar and it felt great to be back.

"I want you to come to dinner with me tonight," he said softly and looked at her. She immediately tensed a little at his question, she knew it wasn't a demand or an order, and there was that part inside of her that refused on the spot.

"I can't," she whispered and bit her lip.

"Why not?" he asked. "I'll be with you."

"I don't know if I can..." Regina said and took a deep breath. "I don't think I'm ready to face them. It feels weird... and awkward."

"You're afraid they'll ask questions that you're not ready to answer," he said softly and laid her forehead against hers. "Then don't," he said before she had a chance to say anything. He gently caressed her cheek with his hand as he spoke. "I promise I won't leave your side and we'll leave when you want to," he said and she nodded.

"You have to come," he said after a few moments in silence. "They probably keep thinking that I'm a little weird because I keep sneaking into your room but they never see you anywhere with me... I don't want them to think that I'm a weird and creepy person," he said with a smile that actually cheered her up a little, drawing the faintest smile from her.

"There it is," he whispered and kissed her lips softly.

"Okay," she said quietly. I'll go with you."