Chapter 6
"Hey you."
In the time from their last encounter they were much friendlier around each other. Maybe it was because Harry had reciprocated Draco's actions. They had said that they were friends now but it was only since their previous meeting that they had been acting like it. This had made it all the more harder for Harry to say what he knew he had to.
"Hey yourself blondie. Do you know you're starting to sound like a lovesick third year?"
"I was being sociable and pleasant I'll have you know, so you can shut it Scarhead."
"I didn't think you liked it when my mouth was shut. I thought you enjoyed my noises and having your cock in-"
Draco shoved himself at Harry, silencing him with fast lips. Harry smirked to himself, he knew how easy it was to antagonise Draco. It was half of the fun to goad him. Harry could feel the familiar movement of his trousers being undone and tugged away from his hips. Draco dropped to the floor and looked up into Harry's face with a smile.
"You can only open your mouth if you want to moan, alright?"
With skilled practice Harry's dick was hitting the back of Draco's throat in and instant. After only a few seconds there was a tightening in his stomach that ached to move further down.
"Draco."
Draco let him fall from his mouth. "Nope, those aren't the rules. Only moaning." He went back to sucking more forcefully.
"No, Draco. You have to stop." He did.
"Why? What's up?"
"I don't think that I can do this."
"Why not? Don't you feel well?" He rose to examine Harry more closely and check his forehead temperature with the back of his hand.
Harry rearranged his clothes and turned so he didn't have to look into his eyes.
"That's not it. I don't think I can keep going on doing this with you."
"Oh."
There was a long unforgiving silence. Harry looked back to Draco. Draco was resting his hands on one of the desks and his head as bowed to his chest. Harry reached his hand out to comfort him but when contact was made Draco flinched and brushed him off.
"Draco? Are you ok?"
"Oh yes Potter, absolutely fine. It's not like everything was fine and you started to be a dickhead or anything."
"Draco you don't have to be like that."
"Oh, I don't? I can't believe this. Is it because…for fuck sake, is it because I'm gay?"
"What? No! Why would I care if you're gay? And besides it's not like you're gay gay."
"How do you mean?"
"Well, have you ever wanted to be with another guy? You told me that you couldn't do…this…with anyone else. I thought that meant that you weren't…you know?" Draco looked up to see Harry's blush on his neck.
"Yeah, I suppose. I haven't ever wanted to be with another guy other than you. I thought at first it was because you wouldn't tell anyone and I would be safe from people talking and giving me crap. But it's really because you're the only person-guy- I find attractive and, you know, get aroused by."
"So it's like a specific want instead of you being gay?"
Draco rolled his eyes." Just because you're the only guy I want doesn't mean you're a "one off" or anything. I know that I'm gay. I don't think many straight guys enjoy sucking on another man's cock. I base my sexuality on what I crave."
"Ok then."
Draco snickered. "What's wrong Potter? Does it gross you out that you give and receive blowjobs from a gay guy?"
"No! Don't be stupid. I just guess I haven't really thought of you in that way, you know? We were just Harry and Draco."
"Well, we're not anymore. If you don't want to do this for whatever stupid reason then we should go back to being Potter and Malfoy. And leave it at that."
"Why should we go back? I don't hate you! I don't want to go back to the insults and fights in the corridors."
"We're going to have to. The brawls have always been a cover up for the things I felt for you. And because you're a dick a lot of the time Potter. So it seems fitting to go back to normal because my feelings are irrelevant and you're still being a dick."
"It's not like I don't care about your feelings. I do care!"
"Then why are you stopping this? Huh Potter?"
Harry ran his fingers through his hair and kept hold of the ends in his fists. He hated himself for what he was doing. Both because he was hurting Draco and because he was denying himself happiness.
"I'm doing this because I have a girlfriend who I am in love with and who loves me. I can't keep doing this to her, Ginny deserves better that this. I'm going to tell her what's happened, but not with whom. If she leaves me then it's what I deserve but if she still loves me enough to keep me then I will not do her the dishonour of continuing to disrespect her."
Draco looked at him with wide eyes.
"What's changed? Weeks we've been doing this for Potter. Why have you only started to feel guilty now? "
"Please don't call me that. We've become a little more serious and I've realised what I'm putting at risk."
"I'll call you what I like. So you've fucked her and realised she can do a better job. Is that it?"
"No! We haven't!"
"No but I bet she has sucked you off and now you're thinking about whether you prefer to have you cock in a girl or a guy."
"Draco, stop it! I won't listen to you talk about her or me like that, got it? I love Ginny. This has nothing to do with sex. I love her and I can't bear to lose her…I can't bear to lose either of you."
"Is that so?"
"Yes. I don't want to have to choose between you."
"I think you might have to."
Harry kicked the desk closest to him. He let out a harsh sigh in frustration.
"I know that. I don't know if I'm making the right choice here but I think it's the best choice. I hate myself for doing this, I can't tell you how long I've fought with myself over this."
Draco just continued to gaze at him in indignation.
"I'm going to talk this out with Ginny. I...really care about you both. Please remember that."
"Whatever, Potter."
Draco left with a loud slam of the heavy classroom door.
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