Chapter Four
The Traveler
Alex
I awoke when the sun was rising which disoriented me for a moment considering that it had only been mid afternoon when I had fallen asleep. I sighed and got to my feet, I really needed blood at the moment, I was thirsty and I needed the strength it provided me with. I walked to the kitchen and got out a frozen packet of blood, Carlisle only buys it for me because I'm the weak pathetic three quarter human. I hate to think of it but it was true. The twins had about as much vampire blood in them as I did, but they were also shapeshifters and seemed to have no trouble with their talent.
I drained the packet, careful not to spill a drop anywhere, with blood and vegetarian vampires you could never be too careful. I felt the blood rushing through my veins making me feel strong and capable. I sighed in contentment before washing out the packet and putting it into the trash.
"Good morning Alex." I jumped and spun around seeing Leah.
"Hi Lee Lee." I said to her smiling.
"Do you want to talk about anything Alex, is there any reason that you are unhappy here?" Leah asked me and I shrugged.
"Not really, but I sometimes feel as if I'm the weakest person here, you know. What the rest do, its incredible but I have trouble calling things to me, let alone making them interact with other objects once they are there."
"You're not weak Alex far from it, your so very strong. So caring, I wish that you could see yourself how I see you. Your so beautiful Alex that I need to remember to breathe every time I see you." She said we were so very close in that moment our faces almost touching. "I want you to see what a wonderful person you are, how I couldn't bare it if you left me."
"Leah I wouldn't be leaving you, I need to get myself into order, I need to find out who I truly am and for that I need to leave the coven for a while. Its hard to explain, but I want to be needed, I want to be able to help others. I suppose I just want to know if there is someplace in the world I belong."
"You belong here with me Alex." Leah protested she was shaking now, her eyes filling with tears.
"You love me, but do you really love me? Or is it some compulsion telling you to care? I don't know Lee, I just don't know. I want to find myself and if you truly cared for me you'd let me go, not convince me to stay. I've actually been thinking about it for a while, everyone here babies me, I don't need that. I need to know how capable I am, out there in the real world."
"I could come with you, you don't have to do it alone." Leah offered and I slowly raised my hand to her face.
"Leah, I'm confused about my life, about my relationships, not just mine and yours, but mine and Sammy's as well. I think at least a part of me loves you, but I'm not sure if that's enough to keep me where I can't grow can't change, I don't want to be a little boy forever Lee. I want to grow up, inside if not on the outside." She nodded and then she kissed me softly on the lips. Kissing her was incredible, I really felt it in my mind, my heart and soul it felt so right somehow. Eventually however I had to breath and the world seemed to come rushing back to me with all my problems.
"That was better then I imagined." Leah said softly and I nodded.
"I do love you Leah, I'm just not sure if that's enough. I want to help others, to be needed."
"I need you, here with me." Leah replied her eyes starting to fill with tears.
"You are wonderful Leah, be wonderful for me. Be understanding, I can never become more then what I am at the moment, being sheltered here is fine when your a child, but I've been a man now for half my life, I need to finally act like it."
"You are a man, your thoughts your actions aren't that of a little boy."
"But I'll never find what I'm truly capable of if I stay here, they shelter me, you know they do."
"That's because you need...."
"What do I need? Protection? Someone to baby me? I don't need that! No one needs that."
"Who will help you when you wear yourself to exhaustion and sleep for days? Who will help you when you get sick? Or need human blood for strength? Who will help you hunt?"
"I don't need help hunting! I never have."
"You do need help, everyone does sometimes, I don't know how I could have survived without my pack brothers, and in fact I know that I would have died years ago if it weren't for them helping me."
"I'll have help, Somi is always with me in my mind, I rely upon her as she relies upon me. I really need to find out who I am, I've been thinking about it for a while though, Alice just really put it all in perspective for me I guess. I suppose I'm just leaving a few years earlier then I would have, I need independence and I need to learn how to think for myself."
"Then maybe I could come with you?" Leah said desperately. "Just don't go on your own, I couldn't bare to be away from you."
"Leah, you were away from me for nineteen years, I need some time to discover myself, can't you understand that?"
"I suppose but I don't know how I would survive without you, do your sole searching but if you aren't back in a year I swear I'll rip apart all the obstacles in my way to get to you." Leah said and Alex hugged her tightly.
"Thank you Lee." Alex said and smiled at Leah as she gently stoked his hair. "I'm not going to go at once however, I'll need time to pack and prepare for my trip. I haven't actually seen Sammy since we were children, it will be wonderful to see her again."
"You do know that you can't be together right? That your destined for me?" Leah asked and I sighed, Sam had made her so overly clingy. Edward my annoying yet complete family man grandpa chuckled.
"What's so funny Leechy?" Leah asked although the insults had died down after the first few years Edward and Leah still enjoyed insulting each other from time to time.
"Nothing much Fido." Edward said. "Its not my fault that my adopted grandson can't keep his thoughts to himself." I did not like Edward because as I said he was a complete family man, to all but me. He felt me to be an outsider to the Cullen clan and what was more I had brought Leah with me. Now Leah and Edward had always gotten on like a house that had been incinerated, charred blackened to a crisp the ashes scattered to the four winds and the broken remains left for others to pick up. You get the idea, they fought like vampires and shapeshifters and I had wished that I could have a spray bottle to punish them with more then once, for Edward was too like the big cats he liked to hunt. Oh sure they were nice enough, until you did something that they thought was 'wrong', then kitty would arch their back at you hiss, claw and run in the opposite direction. I do not understand why Bella chose him over Jacob, from what I remembered of Jacob and they were only a child's earliest memories mind you, was that he was very like Embry and Emmett in some ways, light hearted and fun to be around.
Edward winced and I winked. "You know how I think of you, just as Amelia has told several times how you think of me. Neither one could be said to exactly like one another, but then again as you are family I don't like you but I do love you. If only you thought the same." Leah growled at this and I shrugged. "I'm used to it, I'm different the odd one out, there are no others of my kind in existence, do you not think that that has some affect on me? It does, I know that I'll never be as strong as a full vampire or even a half vampire, I have a gift true but not to be able to use it as I want makes it less enjoyable."
He sighed, "You wonder why I don't like you particularly Alex? It is because I find you to be a spoiled child." Edward said and I glared at him as Rosalie came into the room in time to hear our conversation.
"Well Edward you might be able to read minds but you don't know everything. Spoiled children get everything they want, where I get nothing I truly desire. I suppose what I want most is to be a human or a vampire not some weak mangling of the two, but I'll never get what I want."
"How do you know?" Edward said and the way he said it sounded like he was pitying me, that's why I wanted to leave I couldn't stand their pity anymore. Even the ones that didn't particularly like me pitted me.
"Half vampires can't be changed." I said softly.
"But if you indulged in your pity fest a little longer you would realize that your not a half vampire." Rosalie said and I felt the blow although she did not physically strike me, I stared at her in disbelief could my differences make me able to change? At that moment Leah shed all humanity and jumped Rosalie snapping at him ferociously, Rosalie despite her faults was still like a second mother to me. She had helped to raise me and if she did not like the rebel I had become with Sammy's help then to bad. I supposed I spoiled everyone's idea of the perfect family, Sam's for giving his daughter advice when she needed it, Carlisle's because I couldn't be just what they wanted me to be, it felt impossible to me.
"Calm down Lee!" I told her. "Please I couldn't bear it if either of you hurt each other, even for a moment." At once Leah bounded to me and licked my face. "Ew gross Lee, I love you too you know that?" I asked her and gently stroked her fur. "I should get started getting packed I suppose." I told them and they nodded. "I'll be in my bedroom if anyone wants to see me." I then walked at a dignified pace to my chambers and if the door slammed a little harder then I intended it was just that I had forgotten to use human force on the flimsy piece of wood. Another difference between me and the others, The others had beautifully crafted metal doors, but as beautiful as they were they were also deceptively heavy, I could barely pull one open so I got the wooden door, made to look like the others although it never quite managed it.
I flopped down upon my bed with such force that the only stuffed animal that had survived my childhood fell down into my lap. My little grey wolf, I don't think I ever named it but it was still my most treasured toy even now. I buried my face into its fur, fur that was so like Leah's although the wolf itself seemed more masculine then feminine. I stroked its ears gently before putting it aside and dragging my suitcase from under my bed, I always kept it there in case Alice and Amelia had another fit of fusion and dragged me across the world to buy insane things at exorbitant prices. I suppose they chose me because I was the only male that could put up with it for longer then a day. Embry and Jasper both tried but their eyes would go glassy after a while, Alice had complemented me on my sense of style which was a great complement coming from Alice. It just proves that not all strait guys aren't fashionable. However I needed clothes that were convenient and not ostentatious if I was going to visit Somi. I had just finished packing my bag with my 'normal' person wear when I heard Somi's voice in my head.
"Alex? can I speak with you now? Is it a convenient time?" At once I knew something was wrong, it was a code we had come up with together as children.
"Anytime is convenient Somi, I'll try to come to you though. You sound rather freaked out by something."
"You always manage to understate things in such a way that makes the whole statement endearing."
"Whoa Some what's gotten into you? You aren't in heat are you?" I at once felt embraced at the thought and Somi felt just as embraced.
"No, I just need to tell you how much I appreciate you, I know I never do."
"Who are you and how did you find our mind link? I joked and I sensed her amusement and something else, fear, sadness, hope, joy, love? Such a confusing whirlwind of emotions and Somi wasn't normally that high strung. Now I've never tried to go such a long distance before, I might be exhausted afterwards, if that's the case you might need to drive me to the old house and I'll talk once I recovered."
"What are you talking about Alex?"
"You'll see Somi my poppet." I replied and packed my wolf before closing my bag and thinking of Somi.
"Alex?" Somi asked as I blinked my eyes disoriented as the wave of weariness hit me.
"In the blood." I joked and she playfully punched me, the world went spinning as she did so and the next thing I knew I was sitting on the ground.
"Are you alright Alex?"
"Yeah doing that just knocked me through a loop, I've told you how tiring using my talent can be but this, this surpassed all my expectations, I feel about as weak as the first day we met each other."
"You were plenty strong for a new born I seem to recall from your memories, its funny how I'm older but I can't really remember that day very well."
"I suppose it is, now tell me what's wrong?" I asked my eyes seemingly having a life of their own were closing before I forced them open again.
"I bit Harold." She explained and I shrugged.
"Bound to happen eventually, it was an accident Some, you can't beat yourself up for that."
"That's not the worst part, the others want me to bite them now and Harold well I can read all his thoughts when he transforms. I can even give him orders, it turns out you were right I am an Alfa I suppose."
"Well Somi, it was a bit hard to miss once you started bossing me around. The twins aren't nearly so relentless as you can be when you want to."
"Sorry Ally.
"Its actually sweet in my opinion, it shows you care." I replied. "Somi, you have no reason to freak out, your an natural leader, weren't you just say that you wished the pack would treat you as an adult?"
"Yes but..."
"No buts..." My eyelids so heavy somehow and all I wanted to do was sleep. "If you were my Alfa I would fallow you to the moon and back in a second."
"Thanks Alex, but I don't think Harold sees me in that way, nor would I want him to."
"I suppose that would be a bit weird considering that your second cousins."
"Beyond weird." Somi agreed and I couldn't help but fulfill my desire to lay down in the leaves for a moment. "I'm being selfish, I can see how tired you are. Get some sleep we can talk more once your rested." The weariness crashed into me and I smiled although it seemed like too much effort to keep my eyes open any more, so I let them close. I felt my self drifting but I wouldn't let Some have the last word I summoned the last of my energy and replied.
"Oh wise Alfa your wish is my..." Then the darkness rolled over me and I knew no more.
AN: Bold is boring, normal is likewise weird in that a writer's explanation of their fanfiction could only be. Another chapter, this was surprisingly hard to write as I had several ideas about where to take the story, sorry if its so abrupt for some people, check out my work about a year ago if you want abrupt, I've gotten better over the last year I suppose its a process in becoming an author. You have to have room to grow and its important not to take words to heart. Sorry about the italics but it is a werewolf/mind reading baised fic so that means that I need to distingish them somehow. I share Alex's opinion on Edward and find him to be overbearing, surprised that the great Jake killer likes Edward Cullen better? I suppose I never fully explained why had Jake killed by the Volturi, it was because I believed that he would eventually try to rip Nessie and Nahuel apart, even though technically speaking it was his fault they were together in the first place. Well actually it was my fault as I am the creator of this tale. I've often thought that an Author was a bit like a god, having the ability to create and destroy characters. I'm not sure if I've disclaimed enough in this story, if it was not readily apparent I am not Stephanie Meyer nor ever will be and did not create the twilight series, (Insert worship here) Honestly I find disclaimers and authors notes annoying, but this is for the people who actually enjoy reading this randomness. I have an excuse called life as to why this isn't updated as early as I would like and a five paragraph final exam in Science as well as a play. (Gee I really hate when people make excuses and yet I still manage to do so weird huh. Anyway, I want to thank edcullenwriter to have the courage to ask people to cirtic her work so look up her stories if you want to help a blossoming young artest. I would also like to again thank people who stuck with me for all this time, Jasper solutes you. Well back to what I was saying when its you, you do tend to ramble, I wish you well with it and many happy returns. P.S: From now on I will be posting things on my reveiws page if you want to read my authors notes, unless of course I forget.