A/N: Nothing except this plot is mine, oh and the amazingly supportive people reading this? Yeah, they're mine too. :*

Chapter-15: Dead Heart Beating

EPOV

Good morning. I dreamt of you last night. Miss you. ~Bella.

I looked at the text message on my phone for the eighth time since it came in and I sighed yet again. It felt weird to know that someone was dreaming of me. All these years, I used to think that I was a monster, soulless and vicious, the most dangerous there could be. And I was ok with that … with being doomed for eternity.

But then she came into my life, making me want to be good for her. Why? Because she's the definition of innocence to me and I couldn't ever think of being a monster when I was with her. She made me want to be human.

Of course that was only hypothetical … until last night. Last night, after Alice's vision, I felt like I'm at an impasse. On one hand, I knew that it must've been some weird glitch on Alice's vision because there was no turning back once you've become a vampire. Trust me, I knew that. Carlisle had searched for any and everything that could even indicate that possibility when he was turned.

On the other hand though, now that I had seen a tiny glimpse of what could've been, I wanted it … maybe.

The question was did I want to be a human forever? Or Was I better off this way?

Coming out of my musings, I looked down at the phone in my hand and typed out a message to her.

It is morning, but it's not good … not until I see you. I miss you too. ~Edward

Her response came sooner than I expected.

Well, aren't you a charmer? If that's the case then why don't you come over and make it a good morning?

I could imagine her cheeks getting flushed as the blush spread to her face and neck. A smile stretched on my face as I thought of it.

That sounds like a good idea.

After sending her the message, I pocketed the phone and made my way to the garage. I needed to get to my girl, my human.

~*~*~*RoALS*~*~*~

Feeling a little weird for standing in there so early in the morning, I knocked on the door. Sound of hurried footsteps reached me before the door opened, granting me the first glimpse of the day of my girl.

"Hey," she greeted me, sounding a little winded, no wonder for rushing through the house to get to the door.

Her eagerness to meet me made me smile. "Hi," I said back as I stepped forward. The way the morning light hit her face from the side made it seem like she's some kind of ethereal beauty. She was my personal angel with a halo of sunlight crowning her head.

"What?" she asked, with a little frown.

Realizing that I had been staring at her for longer than I had intended, I said playfully, "I'm just seeing how good my morning is now."

A smile appeared on her face, her face lighting up with the beauty of it. "Mmm … let me see," she said and stood on her tiptoes, leaning into me.

I didn't even try to resist her. What was the point in it anyway? Besides, I had been craving the feel of her lips on mine since the moment I left her last night.

I snaked my arm around her waist, pulling her to my chest and then used my other hand to tilt her face to mine. With a hum of pleasure, she closed her eyes as our lips brushed … once … twice … and then once more.

It felt like I was an addict and she was my heroine fix. I craved the next hit as soon as we parted.

She smiled and kissed the corner of my mouth before stepping away. "Now my morning is turning out to be a very good one," she told me as she reached for my hand, pulling me into her home.

~*~*~*RoALS*~*~*~

"I don't want to let you go," I whispered against her lips.

Her lips turned upward in response. She clutched my shirt in her hands, as if she's dreading the moment of separation as much as I was, and nibbled on my lip lightly. "Come by here for lunch then. I might have something more your type for you to read today."

I chuckled as I remembered the erotic novel she caught me with the day before. Was that really just yesterday? It feels like I've known her for an eternity.

"Hmm … maybe I won't have to come here for a book anymore," I murmured against her lips. "I wish I had some more important reason for being here. Be my reason."

Her smile widened. "Yes."

And that's the moment I realized that I did want to be human … only for her.

~*~*~*RoALS*~*~*~

The sound of a throat clearing from behind me alerted me to Carlisle's presence, bringing me out of one of my many fantasies starring Bella.

I moved my head to the side and waited to see what he wanted.

He took a deep breath and then said, "Edward, can I talk to you?"

I wanted to say that no, I didn't wish to talk to him, but instead, I nodded, agreeing to indulge him just this once.

"Thank you." There was an unmistakable tone of relief in his voice. "Will you please accompany me to the gardens?"

A snort escaped me as I turned to face him. "Accompany you to the gardens? Who are you? King Carlisle? Seeking an audience with one of your soldiers?"

His smirk matched mine as he shook his head. "No, I'd like to think of you as more along the line of my army general."

"Poor Jasper would be gutted."

He laughed at that and motioned me to follow him.

We ended up at the small playground slash garden the hospital had for the younger patients to help with their rehabilitation. It was a quiet spot this early in the morning—a perfect place to talk.

Shoving my hands in my pockets, I asked Carlisle, "So what exactly is this little need for a heart-to-heart about?"

He hesitated for a fraction of a moment before steeling himself, his face becoming a mask of determination. And then he started to talk. "I've been thinking about you and Isabella."

"What a shocker," I mumbled with a roll of my eyes. "Are you sure it's merely thinking and not obsessing? You tend to do that a lot."

A wry smile comes to his face as he nods. "Perhaps, there's that too. But above all, I'm concerned, Son." I opened my mouth to defend Bella, to tell him that she won't be a threat to us when he spoke again, stopping me. "I'm not concerned about us. You're your own person, Edward, and while I don't always like the person you've become over the years, I do pride myself for your self control. This isn't about you. This is about Isabella."

"You're worried about her?" I asked, needing that clarified.

"Yes, and also for you."

I gave him a hard look and said quietly, "I won't ever hurt her if that's what you're insinuating, Carlisle. If what Alice saw is true, then she's my mate, and you know what that means to someone like us better than I do."

"You're right," he answered, looking down at his feet. "I also know how it feels when you think you've lost her forever."

"What do you mean?" I frowned.

He looked back up at me then, his gaze somewhere far away, like he was in some kind of a trance like Alice went into when she had a vision. "The moment you lay eyes on your mate, it's like your whole being has shifted. She's all that matters to you. She's all you can think of. That's what it was like for me when I first saw Esme."

His words made me remember that dark night when I found my Bella, or rather she found me. "Yeah, it was something like that for me too," I said quietly.

"That's what I thought," he responded. "With us though, the moment I found her, I knew she was dying. There was a terrifying moment in which I thought that I was going to lose her even before I could have her. The fear of not being able to call her mine, that nearly made me go insane."

"But you changed her before she could die," I said, not understanding where was he trying to go with this.

"I did." A look of shame and regret crossed his face. "I was selfish and didn't think that I'd have survived without her. But the three days it took for her transformation to complete were the worst three days of my life."

"What do you mean? You were getting the rest of eternity to spend with your mate. That doesn't sound so bad."

"No?" he countered, looking at me sharply. "You detest me, Edward. I know you do … for turning you. You think I doomed your soul to hell."

I didn't know what to say. So instead, I continued to look at him, keeping my face blank.

"Maybe you're right, maybe you're not, I don't know," he continued after a moment of silence. "But I do know that I hated myself for doing the same to Esme. I still do. Besides, you remember the sound of her agony. You were there."

Yes, I was. For a moment, I was back inside that danky, old and abandoned, manor-style house Carlisle and I had taken Esme to complete her transition. The sounds of her screams of pure anguish as the venom burned through her veins echoed in my ears, making me close my eyes shut.

I don't want you to go through that, son, Carlisle's thoughts pierced through my mind.

Snapping my eyes open, I said with conviction, "It's not gonna be the same for me and Bella."

She doesn't need to be transformed if I'm the one who'll be changed back, I added to myself.

He was silent for a long second before he sighed. "If you don't change her, you'll end up losing her one day. Humans don't live for forever, Edward. And it's gonna hurt a lot more when she's gone and you're still here, looking like you're only seventeen."

His words cut me deep, deeper than I expected, and I glared at him. "No, I won't let that happen," I snapped at him. "I will keep her with me by any means necessary."

The look on his face was one I'd never seen directed at me before—pity. He thought I was pathetic for longing for someone I wasn't gonna get to keep.

With a sad nod thrown in my way, he walked away, leaving me feel like utter shit.

~*~*~*RoALS*~*~*~

"What are you going to do?" Alice asked making me look up from the paperwork I was trying to concentrate on.

Pulling a face at her sudden appearance, I snarked back, "What is this? Pick-on-Edward day?"

She didn't even smile as she gave me a hard look. "What did you decide to do, Edward?"

"About what?"

"About Isabella," she said, and I stood up from my seat. "I had another vision today," she continued. "A very different one."

Before I could ask her to elaborate, she opened her mind to me, letting me see for myself.

I was running through a jungle … or maybe the meadow from the other visions. A sound of someone pursuing me made me run faster. I didn't look like I was trying to escape though. No, I was smiling. In fact, it looked like I was having fun. A blurry shadow passed me by before stopping right in front of me.

"Gotcha'!" The woman standing in front of me said with a giggle.

"As if I was gonna run away from you," I replied and then leaned in to kiss her.

As the Edward in the vision moved his head, I got a clear look at the woman's face and I gasped.

It was Bella, my Bella, but her skin was slightly luminescent … not like the way it looked this morning though. No, it glistened as the sunlight hit her body. She wasn't my human. The woman in the vision was a vampire.

"What the fuck, Alice?" I asked my sister, jostling her to make the vision stop. "This is the complete opposite of what you showed me last night."

"Exactly," she snapped back at me, pulling her arms free of my grasp. "What did you decide to do that made the vision shift so much?"

As I tried to answer her, the words I had spoken a few hours earlier to Carlisle came back to me. I will keep her with me by any means necessary.

"Fuck!" I cursed out loud, suddenly realizing what that meant. If I wanted to be with Isabella, there were only two options: be human with her or change her into a vampire.

The first one didn't seem like a possibility and the second? It made my dead heart feel like it would've stopped if it was beating.

No, she's an innocent. She is too fragile … too delicate to be pulled into this fucked up world of mine, I thought. I'll have to let her go. I can't take her soul from her.

From my side, I heard Alice gasp. I didn't need to ask her what she saw as the outcome of my decision. I didn't care, as long as my human was safe.

~*~*~*RoALS*~*~*~

Her face was bright with happiness as she walked out of the little bookstore and into my arms. "Hi," she whispered as she smiled up at me.

"Can we go and talk somewhere?" I requested, carefully moving her so that she was standing next to me instead. "Somewhere private?"

Her eyebrows pulled up in confusion as she nodded. "I guess we can go to Mrs. Goff's office room. I don't think she'll mind."

"Good," I said simply. "Lead the way."

Once inside the dusty old office, Bella turned to face me, putting a hand on my face to make me look into her eyes. "What is it?"

I avoided looking at those bright hopeful eyes though. Instead of answering her question, I got straight to the point. "Isabella, we can't do this. I'm not a guy someone like you can have a relationship with."

A startled gasp left her as shock and then heartbreak passed her face. "You're breaking up with me?" she asked.

"I suppose," I answered, feeling like an asshole for doing this. But I have to do this … for her, I reminded myself.

"Why? What's wrong with you?"

I felt that she deserved to know the truth. So in the dumbest move of my very long existence, I told her, "Because I'm a vampire."

She took a step back as my words sunk in, and then raised her hand, and before I could presume what she was going to do, she slapped me.

And that's the moment I felt my dead heart break.

A/N: A chapter written in just EPOV. ;)

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The song rec for this chapter: Counting Stars by One Republic.

For those of you who're following DreamWeaver, there's not gonna be an update, unfortunately. This bad boy took up a lot of time to write.

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Take care.

Ann